PETE CARROLL'S ENCHANTED GRIDIRON GROTTO

Chad Hall looks like the geek hamburger manager on Office Space with all the flair.

And, we was robbed. No SEC OT means No Brittany Spears career/trailer park comments.

HDN scripts the first 84 plays, and won’t budge.

Next week’s game is in Little Rock, I expect a ‘banner’ day.

So, last night at the charity auction I was at, they raised about $4,000 under their target from the live auction portion of the evening. But then … just about when a certain player was notching touchdown number 7 … the intoxicated participants became inspired and jacked up the bidding on the silent auction goods until everything evened out. And THAT’S how special Tim Tebow is.

They tried the “Rape Whistle” idea at Miami but, well, you know, the Luther Campbell posse didn’t see eye to eye with it. I think they changed over to jiggling their car keys whenever they scored.

We’ve got spirit yes we do, we’ve got spirit, how ’bout YOU?

uh….intake pipe?

You know how good Tim Tebow is?

He’s living up to the hype. THAT’S how good he is.

That said, all Dennis Dixon needs to do to get the trophy named after the Georgia Tech guy is not have an epic fuck-up. He has the two most important things going for him:
1. He’s the best QB/RB on the eventual loser of the MNC game.
2. He’s a senior.

But it’s nice to know that Tebow will get to see Times Square in December.

Ikeguonu deserves some blame for the 97-yd TD—-we all know that you can’t let a receiver as good as Manningham go against Cover-2 without being bumped—-but why the hell did they call Cover-2 anyway. Ikeguonu shut down Manningham the entire game in man-to-man, often without safety help. He played a VERY good game. Oh yeah, and Mallett is terrible.

Though I’m not saying he should win it, necessarily, I think Sam Bradford should at least get some mention in the Heisman race. He turned in another usual performance last night: 20 of 25 for 353 yards and 3 TDs. His stats thus far: 185 of 264 (70%) for 2509 yards, 28 TDs, 6 picks, 1 loss.

Another freshman, DeMarco Murray scored four touchdowns, giving him 15 on the year. That ties the Oklahoma record for TDs by a freshman, set four years ago by some guy that lives in Minnesota now.

By the way—- did anyone see what Marcus Henry did to Oklahoma State last night? THAT guy is a man, Coach Gundy.

I have a Teboner

Bobby Bowden is dressed like the Fonz today on the Sunday chat with Gene. Looks weird – he’s supposed to be in a horrific mustard ABCSports sportcoat, sans black circle logo.

Me thinks the next few years will be a battle for the Heisman between Tebow, Moreno, and that freshman WR from Mizzou….What scares me is Tebow running around and getting tattoed like Jake Locker or getting injured like Prothro….Prothro was Alabama’s Percy Harvin, once we lost him, we were 2 dimensional….
Fla needs a legit running back to save some wear and tear on Tebow before he gets used up, banged up, knocked out or disabled…he can throw the ball, but yall need to let someone else take the beating before its too late, Heisman or no Heisman

I propose dog whistles at next years game. It will make no difference on the field but than little bulldog will go ape shit.

The sudden rash of dog bites on the MSU sideline may be the only entertaining thing as ANOTHER SEC west school not named Arkansas or Ole Miss attempt to extend their winning streak.

Dixon is a stud. Now, come on, you guys are true football fans, you recognize righteous football godship when you see it. You just haven’t had the chance to see his game, to believe like the rest of the wrong Coast.

So, let me just assure you, you non-Duck-fans-coz-you’re-east-of-the-mississippi (sp) types (coz I KNOW you’d be Duck fans if you lived west of the mississippi (sp)), Dixon is truly worthy.

Watch the Oregon-Michigan game, where Dixon played Superman (took to the air, pretty pretty flight). Watch the Oregon-USC game, where Dixon played the Hulk and the Geronimo (burnt them on the ground).

And, for that matter, watch any Oregon game this year at all, and watch him play Houdini – magic with his hands, with his head. A lot of the talking heads will spleen all over about his passing and his rushing (not unwarranted, they’re spectacular) but his greatness lies in his instant and accurate read of the defense and simply phenomenal vision and understanding of what’s unfolding on the field in front of him and how to control it.

He’s so damn unique in this regard that I’ll do you’ll a favor and roll out my new nickname for him in your blog (truly awesome writing, dudes, btw) – Dixon, to make it easier for you all to understand, is OREGENIUS. That’s right, folks, you heard it here. That’s what Dennis Dixon is, our FREAKING OREGENIUS!!!

My respects to Tebow, who I understand is DA MAN in Florida.

Urban needs to realize that Tebow isn’t invincible and should stop leaving him in the game late for no reason. The boy will keep getting hurt if he is left to finish the game running the ball. For God’s sake, put Cam Newton in!!! That said, having a decent defense would also put Meyer’s mind at peace also. Tim probably has the edge over Dixon right now, but assuming Oregon wins out and gets to the NCG, Dixon may be on the fast track.

Yes, because if Tim Tebow’s anything, he’s under-exposed and under-hyped.

If Oregon wins out and Dixon puts up good numbers, he will win the Heisman.

And the deciding factor will be that he is a senior and Tebow is a sophomore. You know, that no underclassmen “rule.”

That said, Dixon is by no means a bad choice and has had a great season and is probably the most improved player. But, Tebow definitely has a legit claim. He’s truly great.

1) The rape whistle song has already been made. It is called “Blow the Whistle” by Too $hort. In the alternative, there was some annoying techno song several years ago that had some guy repeating “blow the whistle bitch” over and over, occasionally peppering in “blow it louder!” I’m sure it was pretty good if you were on ecstacy, but otherwise not so much.

2) Notre Dame is the worst team in school, college, and world history. I still think we’ll be okay in 1-2 years though. Maybe win a bowl game in the next decade or two even.

3) ONE HUNDRED COCKTAILS to Chad Hall. That guy was amazing.

4) Happy Veteran’s Day. ONE MILLION COCKTAILS to all the service people out there, past and present.

Nate short-Shore.

on the list of websites where i expected to read “natural ectomorph,” this was is pretty far down. for what its worth he’s probably closer to mesomorph. nonetheless, i was thinking the same thing as i watched him inhale many cheese covered food products.

Jabba- I don’t have a Teboner, but that’s funny.

I had a feeling we were going to get “croomed” yesterday….All the signs were there

and I think a “rape horn” would be more effective than a whistle.. just my opinion

Hey guys. Just got back from Church, so quick question: Has Georgia quit scoring yet? Is it safe to turn the TV back on?

Thanks!

Anyone have video of that hit on Cox after the int on the first play of the game? I’ve heard bad things, but it sounds like one of those things I need to see for myself.

Tebow will win the Maxwell not the Heisman. Tebow’s stats are freaking off anyone’s charts, but his team has to go somewhere of importance. Since the dawgs won yesterday, as did UT, Florida is out of the SEC race. Maxwell goes to best all-around player, which I will admit he without a doubt is.

The hit on the Hawaii QB (Brennan) is running ad nauseum on the World’s Leader.

Battle creamed him from the side after the interception play was over.

It was pretty cheap and unneccesary. He got a 15 yard PF.

Todd Reesing > Tim Tebow.

There. I said it. He’s the best sophomore QB in the country … better than Tebow, better than Stafford, better than all of them. He’s heady, he’s ridiculously accurate and he absolutely doesn’t make mistakes. 26 TD’s and 4 INT’s is a ridiculous ratio, and it doesn’t even begin to cover just how sharp he’s been – particularly when the chips are on the table at the ends of games. Everytime anyone has challenged KU in the second half of games this year, he just takes the ball on the next drive and eviscerates them.

Kansas is 10-0 with a roster that looks like the island of misfit toys because of Reesing. He wasn’t hyped coming into college (though he was the Texas 4A state POY over Stafford as a HS Senior – maybe should have been a sign to people) because of his height so nobody on the national stage is watching him or talking about him, but he’s an unbelievably good football player.

Nathan, let’s see Reesing play a top-10 team before we start comparing him to Tebow. In fact, let’s see him play against a team that is ranked right now before we start comparing him to Tebow. He done neither so far.

sorry bub, reesing is good…but hes no tebow

We all know how easy it is for Cox to get filled with sand. I will blame that foul on our sucking. Yeah… That’s it….

Lets see Tebow play with a bunch of 2* ranked teammates. That cuts both ways. Reesing is certainly doing more with less than anyone in the country.

Tebow is a hell of a player, there’s no denying that. The fact that everyone in country is trying to ignore the elephant in room that is Kansas is getting ridiculous though. Reesing deserves a hell of a lot more pub than he’s getting.

Im big on Reesing, great player on the rise, but did you see Tebow yesterday…the week before…the week before that and the previous weeks….Tebow is to college football what kryptonite is to Superman.

Come on now Orson…..at least get your facts straight…..It was 3rd & 9 and Fran called for a negative 7 yard screen pass.

A Prince Vultan reference! Woo! Brian Blessed, one of the finest speakers of the English tongue.

7 TDs by Tebow? THAT’S why I kept hearing “Tebow Smash! Run Tebow Smash!” I just thought he was reciting a new Gainesville children’s book.

And yes, Georgia is starting to look really good & Moreno is starting to look scary good.

ZOOK!

Pass the spliff, Nate.

Tebow, to quote the mighty Iron Shiek, would break Reesing’s back, make him humble.

Trust me, no one can ignore the Mangino in the room. He’s breaking their shades and eating their food. Call us when Kansas plays someone worth a damn, a la OSU and the Fighting [Name Redacted]ers this weekend.

So… when does Tyrone Nix get relegated to dbacks coach and we hire a defensive coordinator that can stop the run?!? Oh if only Casper was in the game…. he knew how to lay a hit on the Tebow.

#24
The good news is that Cox was able to get back up… and throw 3 more later on.

Orson,
Thanks for the Bulldog love, we know with Moreno and Evil Richt, you are dealing with some serious man-crush issues.

Go Dogs!

(Also props to Tebow, who is amazing)

Nathen,

What the hell is Kansas?

Without unleashing a series of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Weis fat jokes, what do you guys think IS the problem with Notre Dame? We know that the kids he has are talented—is it coaching? Preparation? Work Ethic? I am a huge ND fan but they are just plain awful.

Also, if you’re Spurrier, at one point do find some fourth string linebacker on the bench and tell him to go in there—penalty and suspension be damned—and knock the daylights out of Tebow. Not only was that last TD pass rubbing it in, it cost me my 4 team teaser.

Brandon #40

Re: ND – all of the above? (Obligatory blame of TW – ‘cause that’s what everyone expects, right? :))

But, really, at this point, it’s 90-95% coaching by Weis and his staff, with the remainder chalked up to inexperience and the natural deflation a team goes through when the humiliating losses pile on one another. (Cleveland sports fans like me can attest to this phenomenon even amongst pros, much less in college athletes.)

Hopefully, things will turn around. For what it’s worth, Clausen looked better (if still not good) yesterday.

Jake Steely:

“Tebow is to college football what kryptonite is to Superman.”

I have heard advanced logic like that before: “They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.”

Mississippi State wanted a flyover, and, well, they tried…

http://youtube.com/watch?v=g9g4axEXZdI

Nathan,
    
Does he have 19 more Td’s on the ground to go with those 26 through the air? Whats that, NO, ohhh ok just thought I would ask. Douche.

Patrick is still steamed over Todd’s response to Mike’s Brittany Spears comment…

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1243727174/bctid1293598758

sweet jesus, this is funny

How about the brutally honest comment of the night – Following a screenshot of Tebow in a form fitting Nike undershirt, Patrick exclaims “He’s got the body of a Todd Blackledge”, to which Todd replies “No, but Shelley Blackledge wishes that was the body of Todd Blackledge”

Count to three Todd, and think before you invite us into your pasty white, missionary only bedroom.

At some point toward the end of the Vanderbilt game, Mark Richt finished up his interview with the ESPN sideline reporter, dispassionately lit a cigarette, and shuffled off into the locker room with a limp. Then, as the team was leaving Vanderbilt Stadium, he limped toward the team bus, and . . . somewhere between the locker room and the bus, the limp disappeared. A black Jaguar pulled up next to the bus, Richt got in, and the Jag took off around the corner.

“And like that . . . he’s gone.”

“I think Sam Bradford should at least get some mention in the Heisman race”

He’s like Jason White!!! Go cheer for a sub-par QB from a sub-par program some more. You guys got enough room in front of that stadium for another ridiculous bronze statue of another QB that won’t make it past Draft Day?

Who is Keyser Soze?

We’ll all have rape whistles ready in Jordan Hare next year when UGA comes to town. Thanks Richt for the routine sodomizing last night. Why must we continue to be your bitch? It just hurts….still.

Verne and Gary :

Supasoak ya hos!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DS3ky9SSMF4

Tebow will almost certainly get “Herscheled” when it comes to the Heisman. I mean, come on, George Fucking Rogers!?!?!?! Coke Head over National Champion? Yep. Makes total sense.

Sorry ’bout your luck Timmy. Much as I hate to say it, you deserve to win it.

nathan i support your reesing love, but you came to the wrong place to compare him to tebow. notice noone has even mentioned the stafford comparison.

that whole team is underrated…probably the most fundamentally sound i’ve seen all year. they’re going to get their chance to prove their skills at the end of the year. i hope they capitalize.

Good Lord. First it was, “Yeah, well, let’s see Kansas win against Toledo.”

Then it was, “Yeah, well, let’s see Kansas win on the road.”

Then it was, “Yeah, well, let’s see Kansas win out of the state.”

Then, “Okay, let’s see KU beat a Big 12 South team.”

Admit it, folks. KU is an actual good team. The Jayhawks haven’t just gotten to 10-0, they’ve done it by doing really weird things like, you know, not getting penalties, and wrapping up when making a tackle, and running routes correctly and blocking schemes that take advantage of matchups, and…

Oh, fine. I know, I know…. “Let’s see KU beat Missouri! Because we know they can’t do that.”

KU will win a major bowl game this year and there will still be SEC honks trying to move the goalposts again.

A 3 loss QB shouldn’t be up for any awards.

Heisman finalists:

Dennis Dixon
Darren McFadden
Pat White

If they feel the need to invite a 4th, invite Colt Brennan. Maybe Chase Daniel.

Maybe next year for the crier.

Before someone asks why no 3 loss QBs but a 4 loss RB is there, because he is the best RB in the nation. There are too many QBs doing a better job of steering the ship and taking care of business for the jesus loving crier to be in the mix.

Poor Anthony Dixon doesn’t stand a chance in the foot race to break Hershel’s SEC rushing TD record. Baby Rhino can call his number whenever he wants, while Dixon has to wait for Croom to dial up “Dixon Right/Left.”

bnb614,

“A 3 loss QB shouldn’t be up for any awards… If they feel the need to invite a 4th, invite Colt Brennan.”

a) If Tebow played Brennan’s schedule, Tebow wouldn’t have 3 losses. I think Hawaii played a high school 2 weeks ago, but to their credit they were the AAAA state runner-up team from Nevada.
b) If Hawaii, played Florida’s schedule they wouldn’t be undefeated.
c) Tebow accounts for 70%+ of Florida’s offense which is the 8th rated offense in the nation (scoring).

I am not going to say that Dixon, McFadden, White and Daniels don’t deserve consideration or possibly the hardware, but don’t dis Tebow.

He has comparable passing stats to Dixon and a better arm than White and twice as many yards.
He has 150+ yard rushing than Dixon and 11 more TDs. He is only 82 yards behind White in rushing yards and has 8 more TDs.

I don’t disagree foto but the difference is they took care of their business. Tebow and Florida haven’t.

Since tOSU can’t swallow the Juice, does this mean a trip to Orlando?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, ’cause it used to be called… Nevermind.

My top five:
1) Tebow
2) Dixon
3) McFadden
4) Pat White
5) Chase Daniel

Check this out:
Orson Swindle vs Knowshown Moreno in a dance off
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLX51Xd2FWw

Umm… aren’t there THREE service academies? Did they close down West Point and nobody told me?

bnb614: Last I checked, the Heisman still says “Most Outstanding Player”, not “Great QB/RB for a Team That’s Going to a BCS Bowl”. I’m fully aware that’s not how it’s voted on, but as long as they’re going to claim that’s what it is, I’m going to suggest candidates on that basis – and that means a great player toiling away on a terrible team should still be considered. (If it was “Most Valuable” there’d be more of an argument – how valuable can you be to a team that goes 2-9? But if McFadden played behind Notre Dame’s offensive line and had Minnesota’s defense to back him up, I’d bet that team goes 0-12 and I’d still put him on the short list.)

how many more carries does tebow have then dixon? 67 more carries and 1.2 yds less per carry.

#60

I agree. When did losses disqualify someone from the Heisman race? I’m not 100% certain that Tebow deserves it, but having three losses shouldn’t take him off the ballot. Football is a team game—one person is not responsible for a team’s wins and losses.

It’s from the NFL, but since he’s been lampooned here before I’ll mention another amazing announcer comment.

Dave Lapham: Looks like he may have been hit below the blet, Brad.

Brad Johanssen: Yeah, sure enough, he got hit right in the package.

Dave Lapham: Mmm, yeah, that’s not good. You don’t want to ever get hit in the package as a football player.

Gotta love local radio.

Does anyone have the actual quote from Gary Danielson during the first half of the UGA/AU game where he mentioned “lathering up” Knowshon Moreno and “riding your hot guy”?

crabs,

I remember that but not the exact phrasing. Suffice to say that horse-racing analogies always sound creepily homoerotic.

1. - The last touchdown was a direct response to Spurrier’s onside kick, so I’d blame Spurrier for ruining your teaser.

What’s the diametric opposite of the Heisman? Cause I’d like to give that to Ryan Mallet today. Ugh.

Also, Crable’s 2nd penalty on that drive was bogus.

And Clemson continues to quietly beat the crap out of teams and receive little to no recognition for it…bring on BC.

I am devastated. The same D that held Georgia out of the end zone and shut down Kentucky has now given up over 1000 yards and 100 pts in the last two games alone. Since the half of the UNC game, this is a completely different team. No fire, no passion, no balls. Why in the hell would anyone who had Florida in a 3rd and 4 or 3rd and 6 situation drop back into a zone and give the underneath and the short hook routes for first downs. I don’t understand. I was at the game and was one of the few fans that stayed until the 4th quarter, and with 6:30 left I just couldn’t anymore. I will not talk about football anymore to anyone until at least next Wed. I won’t go to the Clemson game, either. I will instead spend the time with my family across the bay from Mobile for Thanksgiving. And once again I am forced to say “Just wait till next year”. (God I am starting to really hate that phrase!!)

1. -

What onside kick?

My top 5

1) Tebow

2) mini-Tebow

3) the kid that washes Tebow’s jersey

4) D-Mac

5) D-Mac’s tricked out Crown Vic

73 – we’re noticing in Columbia. Hopefully Tommyboy doesn’t bring Spiller and Davis with him. If Harper drops back to attempt a single pass that whole game, Bowden better fire Fat Brad. Our d-line and linebackers will gladly provide assistance to help Harper or any of your running backs to get into the endzone unscathed. Multiple.fucking.times.

And here I always thought this was such a harsh rivalry. Thanks for the offer, OOC!

In all seriousness though, I don’t know what happened to USC’s D. They have all but disappeared from the field. Y’all are having a meltdown similar to ours last year, and I’m a pretty firm believer that losing Brinkley is having a huge impact on your defense similar to us losing Waters last year. The records can always be thrown out in this game though, so who knows what will happen. I will, of course, be cheering for another 63-17 though.

Tebow=the SEC version of A-Rod with the Yankees.

7 TDs vs an SC team that’s out of the SEC East race=10 RBIs against Baltimore in April.

Sick total numbers, but lost in the gaudy totals are these: 0=game winning TDs vs. Auburn, UGA, and LSU.

And if you say “it’s not his fault the D sucks” where were the folks saying Lorenzen deserved the trophy?

@ 63

Best. Video. Ever.

Nice job Swindle, you flexible bastard.