The rundown from Pete Carroll’s enchanted grotto, dictated to a stunning naked woman while we were busy trying to pull our swimsuit out of the intake pipe. We’ll be down here all day, since it’s nice and we can do EDSBS Live! from here too, 7-9 p.m. EST. Join us and have a Mai Tai, won’t you?

Ohio State, loss-enated. We need to watch a replay today, but from what we’ve seen the crux of the matter was the scrambling of Juice Williams at the end of the game securing first downs and squeezing the life out of the clock. That and the curse of Skip Bayless saying Todd Boeckman was a Hei*m*n candidate. You can’t defeat that kind of negative mojo.

Mike Patrick tends to bloat. Mike Patrick could not let Todd Blackledge off the hook for being a natural ectomorph despite eating the gravy-covered delights of college town diners weekly on Todd’s food segment.

“I’m amazed you’re not five hundred pounds.” And then Patrick kept the gravy jokes coming, but not in that friendly, ha-ha way, but in that bitchy, “you-never-gain-a-pound” kind of way. Mike Patrick can’t stand it when pretty, skinny Todd eats whatever he wants!

Suck it, Tedford!

Shawn Crable cost Michigan 30 yards in penalties on Wisconsin’s first drive, negating a pick on the first drive of the game for Wisconsin. Crable wasn’t alone, though–Michigan’s usually quarterback-hostile defense looked worse thanks to Tyler Donovan holding onto the ball until the last possible second, practically begging for the game-ending injury he eventually suffered: a huge bruise to the hand streaked with Michigan blue paint fro a helmet.

Jack Ikegwuonu of Wisconsin fought the most fascinating battle of the day, desperately swatting at The Manningham and hoping it wouldn’t get angry and run away too far with the ball. Subtract that teeny little 97 yard touchdown, the longest in Michigan history, and he mostly, sort of, kind of did that.

Hey, let’s just peek on that USF/Syracuse game for a sec. Allen Cray gets a horrible, horrible INT for USF in the Syracuse game. Off a helmet, lateral, into Cray’s hands. This is quite literally what we saw the instant we turned on the game. This was immediately followed by a lightning score by USF, a lazy throw through neglectful coverage on a TD to Carlton Mitchell. The Carrier Dome feels like a mortuary in orange.

Completely out-of-context announcer quote one: “You’re all about the O, Dave.”–from the Texas A&M/Mizzou FSS broadcast.

in that game, we had a brief window into the head of Dennis Franchione and Stephen McGee when Texas went for it on 4th and 9.

McGee: We’re going for it on 4th and goal from the 9? (more…)