UT FOOTBALL PLAYER IS INTERCOURSE HERO
by Orson on Nov 6, 2007 10:27 AM EST
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By Crom, Josh McNeil is a happy man.Get this man an AXE body spray endorsement:
Several hours after the University of Tennessee football team thumped its opponent on the field Saturday, UT center Josh McNeil was quizzed by police about a broken window at his apartment and the three intoxicated women in his bed.
He celebrates like Conan the Barbarian, that Josh McNeil. We think the running for the Thighsman Award may be done, since McNeil just grabbed it by its brassy crotch and wrestled it back to his bed/animal husbandry lot/one man European sex club. Those trashy Euro orgy videos where everyone's hooting on the participants? All filmed in Josh McNeil's bed. Travis Henry just called him to urge him to wear a condom, and Colin Farrell wants to go to Dubai with him for the weekend just to watch him work a hotel room with eight escorts and twenty bottles of Cristal.
McNeil can't be charged with anything in the incident, since banging three girls at once in a drunken victory celebration is only illegal in France and the Republic of Third-grade-gaysylvania. (Real, honest homosexuals, on the other hand, have no problem celebrating in multiples.)
McNeil cannot even be charged with sexual assault on an animal, since the "half bear, other half cat" formula for Tennessee women on Rocky Top means McNeil technically made love to 3/2 of a cat and 3/2 of a bear. Charging him with anything like this means lawyers in Tennessee would have to work with fractions, and no one wants to get into that shit. That's why they went to law school and not med school, which requires math and a hunger for human blood.)
There's details here, sure: a potted plant thrown through a window, an argument, several guns including rifles, shotguns, and a handgun found in apartment. Read the article if you actually care what happened, including the fact that the three women were charged with underage consumption of alcohol. (Note: consumption of Josh McNeil is totally legal and obviously in demand, ladies of the 865. And in plentiful supply, judging from this.)
All we want to say is that the Josh McNeil, the video game industry needs to make Intercourse Hero and set whatever you do as the Expert Level. ONE HUNDRED COCKTAILS to you, sir.
(HT: Voluminous.)
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Shit, if a blow out victory over U La-La will get McNeil, that…what on earth is lined up for a victory over Humanity Advanced this weekend?
Oh, and what a kick ass soundtrack!
by Aerobab on Nov 6, 2007 10:33 AM EST reply actions
and who could blame them? look at this guy!!!
http://rimingtontrophy.com.ismmedia.com/ISM2/Watch%20List/josh_mcneil.jpg
by PW on Nov 6, 2007 10:34 AM EST reply actions
Am I the only one that wants to be able to read that comic box?
I have a strange feeling that it says “When I am done using you, I shall feed you into the Maw of Fulmer!”
by Will on Nov 6, 2007 10:35 AM EST reply actions
I think the fractions may be off. Apparently, two of those in arrested in his hotel were Virginia Tech students so, I suppose, the proper math would lead to 1/2 a bear, 1/2 a cat and 2 Hokies.
by Slow, Fat and White on Nov 6, 2007 10:35 AM EST reply actions
I think the fractions may be off. Apparently, two of those in arrested in his room were Virginia Tech students so, I suppose, the proper math would lead to 1/2 a bear, 1/2 a cat and 2 Hokies.
by Slow, Fat and White on Nov 6, 2007 10:36 AM EST reply actions
O-lineman are the unsung heros of the team??? pfft!
Sing it! Sing it loud brother!
by skinnyphatman on Nov 6, 2007 10:37 AM EST reply actions
Man, I miss college. I would often celebrate a particularly dominant performance in intramurals (brother) with a nice sandwich and then I’d watch Conan O’Brien. Stories like this remind me that the boys on the field are very much like us.
Play on, playa.
by jebus on Nov 6, 2007 10:40 AM EST reply actions
obviously, the women from VAH-Tech were in training for a Ron Mexico sighting (perhaps in accompaniment of his brother)
by wvjgrad69 on Nov 6, 2007 10:40 AM EST reply actions
Hate to rain on the parade, and go all CSI here, but the potted plant and blood, actually leads me to believe one thing.
Josh McNeil came back to his place with 3 girls, expecting that he would somehow bed them all. When he realized they were just using him to buy alcohol, and act like dumb, drunk, 18 year-old chicks and cry and tell each other how much they miss each other…he got angry, as football players are wont to do…and threw the plant through a window.
When the cops arrived, they just acted like they were sleeping.
Really, a sad story, if you ask me.
by Gentleman Masher on Nov 6, 2007 10:42 AM EST reply actions
I have officially found a hero for my son to worship
….yes, son, that man would not be denied when the three wiley women locked him out of his apartment naked at 1:30 in the morning… he managed to get back into his apartment and started the menage a quattro once more…..just the kind of effort I expect you to show when trying to spread your seed
by Futbawl Fan on Nov 6, 2007 10:43 AM EST reply actions
Gentleman Masher, we reject your reality and substitute our own.
by Orson Swindle on Nov 6, 2007 10:50 AM EST reply actions
It appears the buxom brunette’s left thigh is quoted in the pic.
by Bama93 on Nov 6, 2007 10:55 AM EST reply actions
“Rocky top, you’ll always be 1 on 3 to meeeeeeee…
………Good ’ol Rocky Top”
by Scalz1 on Nov 6, 2007 10:56 AM EST reply actions
And in the not-so-great tradition of MSU getting the less talented brother to play at State (see Larry Campbell/Jason Campbell, Tee Millons/Freddie Millons, Chris McNeil/Josh McNeil), Josh even one- ups his brother on trouble with the law.
Chris McNeil = arrested for getting beat up by frat guys.
Josh McNeil = taken into custody for barely legal sex odyssey.
by lance harbor on Nov 6, 2007 10:59 AM EST reply actions
Man, even the God of War had nothing on this guy.
Sex commandoes, rock, rock on!
by The Bull-Gator on Nov 6, 2007 11:00 AM EST reply actions
Shit, you mean a CENTER gets play like that at Tennessee? Respect.
by Boston Frog on Nov 6, 2007 11:05 AM EST reply actions
McNeil throws a plant through a window and jumps in bed with 3 girls and he’s a internets hero. I do it, and I’m a “pervert” who “can not be within 500 yds of a sorority house” or I’ll get “arrested” once “again.”
I hate these double standards for football players.
by RaginCajunRebel on Nov 6, 2007 11:11 AM EST reply actions
someone needs to russle up these girls Myspace pages so’s i can have a look at them, STAT!
by Dave(not that one, the other one) on Nov 6, 2007 11:15 AM EST reply actions
The best part is the comments on the GoVols article. “Thank god we’ve got dr. phil the disciplinarian…let him play!”
Oh, and the fact that the only ones cited in the incident are the 3 girls…sheesh. They really do know how to properly look the other way in Knoxville, don’t they?
by Beatuofa on Nov 6, 2007 11:35 AM EST reply actions
Dave, #27: Don’t know if they’re on MySpace, but a quick search finds them on Facebook for anyone in the VaTech network.
by BDoc on Nov 6, 2007 11:35 AM EST reply actions
Masher,
Quit with the buzz kill.
RCR,
You are SOOOOOOO right!
by marcillac on Nov 6, 2007 11:39 AM EST reply actions
Since I watch “CSI” and “The First 48” I know my way around an investigation. I checked the girls’ facebook pages and from what I can tell, the perp. is livin’ large. Could he be of Reggie Nelson stature? Multiple firearms were discovered in said perp’s apartment. These girls aren’t leftovers that Orson tries to pick up at closing time. The UT girl is pictured with, I believe to be McNeil, on her facebook page. The other two dames are Hokies and they are a little difficult to discern as to where they lie on the 10-scale. But one is pictured as being hoisted by a gang of males at a football game, so the fearsome foursome discovery is no surprise to this sleuth. Developing….
by Gatorpilot on Nov 6, 2007 11:47 AM EST reply actions
Yea Bdoc, not only that, but Sarah Brown has McNeil in her Facebook picture.
Someone should indeed get to the bottom of this.
by OhEssYou on Nov 6, 2007 11:52 AM EST reply actions
Jebus,
YOU PARTY ANIMAL! I’d have half a bowl of Cherios and half of Leno’s monologue.
by marcillac on Nov 6, 2007 11:58 AM EST reply actions
That should be “watch” half of Leno’s monologue.
by marcillac on Nov 6, 2007 11:59 AM EST reply actions
every now and then this blog gets someone suggesting that the name of “the fulmer cup” needs to be changed….and guys like coker and mcneil come along and totally redeem themselves.
by gerry dorsey on Nov 6, 2007 12:09 PM EST reply actions
For achieving this orgasmic milestone while having the appearance of a stoned yokel (dude looks like the thicker version of Jay Cutler), Mr. McNeil, I salute you.
by Signal to Noise on Nov 6, 2007 12:38 PM EST reply actions
Was on eof these ladies named "Holly" ?
My baby brother was a center, so I have a soft spot for O-linemen, but it’s not in my ladyparts.
by Holly on Nov 6, 2007 12:42 PM EST reply actions
So, did they get the fingerprints off the potted plant, and decide who gets the sexual predator sign in the front yard yet?
Once it’s there, can we get an address (if it is one of the 3 ladies)?
by Southern Papa on Nov 6, 2007 1:11 PM EST reply actions
Upon reading this story (well, having someone read it to him), Marcus Vick keyed in on the words “Virginia” “Tech” “Underage” and “girls” then tried to remember just what he did and where he was this past weekend…
by Will (the other one) on Nov 6, 2007 1:35 PM EST reply actions
From the linked article,
“At that time, DeBusk said, UT Director of High School Relations Gerald Harrison appeared at the scene.”
Are you kidding me? All of these girls were at least 18, but who did UT officials THINK they were going to find if they sent the Hight School Relations Director? Man, if any of Fulmer’s player’s ever kill someone, you will NEVER find the body.
Indeed, the cup shall always be named for Fulmer.
by WDamnE on Nov 6, 2007 1:44 PM EST reply actions
Underage drinking, weapons and (assumed) group sex with aforementioned underage girls. Yes sir, THAT is Tennessee footbaw.
by NativeSon on Nov 6, 2007 1:48 PM EST reply actions
since banging three girls at once in a drunken victory celebration is only illegal in France
That’s not completely true.
It was banned in 1945, not because of the foursome angle but because of the reminder of Germans who had been banging three French girls at a time in victory celebrations, and the line around the arondissement of pliable collaboratrices.
The ban was rescinded after France won the 1998 World Cup, but it is officially discouraged because it devalues the more traditional menage a trois. It’s a cultural heritage issue.
by DC Trojan on Nov 6, 2007 1:58 PM EST reply actions
I will be checking rivals to see if UT has a spike in VHT signings in the next couple weeks.
Wow, a Center gets that kind of play! If this kid plays in NFL Europe things are gonna get international incident crazy.
by tzubear on Nov 6, 2007 2:10 PM EST reply actions
Wish I could one day earn a prestigious title like “UT Director of High School Relations.”
Good thing he showed up when he did (???) Things could have got real ugly.
by Erik on Nov 6, 2007 3:04 PM EST reply actions
Allison Parker is the one in the white mini-skirt.
http://www.connectionnewspapers.com/lgphoto.asp?photo=82710_66103042.jpg
by superdestroyer on Nov 6, 2007 3:24 PM EST reply actions
One down, two to go, SuperDestroyer. Keep ’em coming.
Thanks.
by GamecockTony on Nov 6, 2007 4:17 PM EST reply actions
I want my police blotter article to read exactly like that.
by Irwin Fletcher on Nov 6, 2007 5:21 PM EST reply actions
At least tebow gets his man-lovin, Who knows maybe he takes his line to bed with him?
by Walt on Nov 6, 2007 5:21 PM EST reply actions
girl #2, sarah brown, is on the UT facebook network. Cant see her profile, but has a cute profile pic
by Fulmersmyhero on Nov 6, 2007 5:29 PM EST reply actions
The only thing that could have made that story better was if the “potted plant” he threw through the window was cannibis.
by Brian O'Blivion on Nov 6, 2007 5:34 PM EST reply actions
Lets see…..
3 chicks and 2 of them are out of conference?
Good Job on spreadin the SEC luvin to the ACC…
I am sure there is a Iphone video of this….probaly one of the drunk bitches, probaly the one that was “catching”, got pissed after he passes out and started snoring and she threw the plant at him and missed….and I am sure he slept right thru it after all the shots of Yaigermeister they did to take the edge off….I just wonder if the sex was implied since most of the O-Linemen I knew would forego sex if there was Duck Hunting to be done the next morning…this is Tenn ya know…..
by Mr Pelican Pants on Nov 6, 2007 11:41 PM EST reply actions
Are you sure this was in Tenn and not Utah?
I mean Big Love is based on this shit.
I think this would be a job for
MythBusters…..were there any products that required “D” batteries under the mattress?
by Mr Pelican Pants on Nov 6, 2007 11:48 PM EST reply actions
Dayum!
Just when I thought Phat Philimus had just about neutered his boys old Josh is straight bangin’ three fine under 20 hens.
Menage a Quattro!!!!
by JohnInHsv on Nov 7, 2007 2:34 AM EST reply actions
There is actually a connection between the three girls. They all attended Edison High School in Fairfax, Virginia. http://nova.sportscombine.com/scripts/p_tm_story.asp?t=221853
I suspect that they all played on the field hockey team.
by superdestroyer on Nov 7, 2007 8:08 AM EST reply actions
Wow, I hope they were better at Intercourse than they were at Field Hockey…Whatever the hell Field Hockey is.
by Erik on Nov 7, 2007 9:28 AM EST reply actions
Never been so proud to be a Tennessee Vol than at this moment. Ok fine…second to the waning moments of the ‘98 championship game, but it’s a close second dammit.
by Vol on Nov 7, 2007 10:31 AM EST reply actions
I heard McNeil is Budweiser’s next “Real Man of Genius”…..and btw those chicks were fuuhh-iiinnnneeee
by Yeehaw Shitnaw on Jun 18, 2008 12:46 AM EDT reply actions
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