Gamecock defensive coordinator Tyrone Nix will wake up screaming for the next year thinking about a South Carolina defense that gave up 541 yards to the Arkansas Razorbacks; if he were a thinking man, he’d just keep a tranq pistol next to his bedside and shoot himself with it every time he did this, since the horror won’t fade for a while.

It shouldn’t. The chief agent of all that horror was this man, Darren McFadden, who ran for 323 yards, threw for a touchdown, and ran for one that will simply scramble your mind on viewing.

Who gives a shit about awards. That’s just pure, boiled evil–four defenders with angles running out of speed in pursuit as McFadden glides forward as if surrounded by a force field. It needs no more certification that what your eyes are telling you: that that man is a mutant, and needs to be registered with the Federal Government immediately.