DON’T YOU WANT ME, SABAN?
Real life’s dealt us a mundanely busy hand today NOT involving some pre-weekend blogging. Life steals your jerseys sometime, but what do we do? We just borrow one, write our name on the back, and keep going like a real Hokie would.
(BTW, our refusal to waste a Saturday during grad school watching Chan Gailey coach football looks better and better after last night. Tech is a putrid offensive football team, and in the middle of the third quarter the stadium was half-empty and resembled less a division one football stadium and more a European soccer stadium after a riot.)
So accept this joint project between Joel and ourselves involving the most bitter matchup this weekend, the LSU/Alabama game between the team that made Saban the 4 million commodity he is and the team currently paying the price tag. He was working as a football coach in Michigan–that much is true. But even then he knew he’d find a much better place, either with or without you, LSU
If your Youtube is blocked, click here for the Flash version.
Fine, fine work by Joel as always. The Viewer’s Guide should be up around lunch, so check in for Hannibal’s guide to couching it with the precision of a team of commandos and making the most of the waning weeks of the season.
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51
wvjgrad69 says:
so 50 is the new 5 at Alabama…
November 2nd, 2007 at 11:19 am
52
Doug says:
That was wonderful, guys. Orson, you even made your voice sound a little like Philip Oakey’s.
(Before anyone starts giving me demerits, no, I had to look it up on Wikipedia. I mean, I loves the ’80s pop cheese, but I’m not THAT ghey.)
November 2nd, 2007 at 11:22 am
53
Ghost of Neyland says:
Seriously one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time. Great, great work, guys.
We need a tutorial on doing stuff like that over at my site, 3rdsaturdayinblogtober.wordpress.com
November 2nd, 2007 at 11:33 am
54
BamaCPA says:
# 16 A loss to the Dawgs is not out of the question – SEC teams are playing great this year coming off the bye – ala MSU next weekend.
November 2nd, 2007 at 11:39 am
55
DC Trojan says:
I don’t suppose there’s any way to train the real Mike VI to lipsynch like his picture in this masterpiece? That would be truly splendid.
November 2nd, 2007 at 11:40 am
56
Tater Salad says:
45:
You mean desperation, like claiming that the athletics department had no control over the Brad Lester situation, and that they would let the proper academic committee make its decision? Of course, immediately after getting Croomed, that tune changed a little. Academic integrity, yes sir indeed.
November 2nd, 2007 at 11:41 am
57
Brian O'Blivion says:
EDSBS cliche multiple choice:
A) Slow clap.
B) Wow. Just wow.
C) I just threw up in my mouth a little bit
D) You owe me a new monitor
E) Where is my cheesecake, motherfucker?
As much as I despise this option, the only cliche choice here is E.
November 2nd, 2007 at 11:46 am
58
NoleinTexas says:
Brilliant.
Mike kind of looked sad, though. Harem not performing?
November 2nd, 2007 at 11:46 am
59
AllWhoYonder says:
B O’B–
you forgot one:
f)+100 cocktails
November 2nd, 2007 at 11:59 am
60
Brian O'Blivion says:
AWY, thanks. How could I forget that one? Blasphemy. Grudgingly, I will stick with my answer.
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:06 pm
61
mp says:
Erik- you douche, just wait till Nov 24th barner
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:11 pm
62
Techie says:
Come again when we’ve made some *ahem* “adjustments”.
The Flats can light up when Hamilton and Godsey were slinging the ball around.
GT Football: It’s Chan-tastic!
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:31 pm
63
penis mightier says:
Lame.
you sing like a true Gayturd!
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:33 pm
64
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Cheesecake Dept
#51 and #53: I think EDSBS has gone the “uppity” route and is trying to build street cred with the “mainstream on-line sports industrial complex” and is refusing to highlight the babes with nice shiny assess. RATS!
(Either that or Stranko is as whipped as Swindle now, which is more whipped than I originally thought.)
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:37 pm
65
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
1,000,000,000 cocktails to me!
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:38 pm
66
fotodog says:
PKA PSU crap:
Apparently, the OSU fans that were getting drilled were Pike’s like most of the PSU fans and they were invited there? How $h!tty is that?! Invite the OSU Pikes over and then peg them with beer cans.
Second, Mr. Mouth and the lead villain was from Pitt, but the PSU Pikes turned on him too and IDed him to police.
What a bunch of effin’ idiots?!
I hope the get served, but from what the police said, it looks like minor stuff at best.
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:40 pm
67
Der Schatten says:
Good for Erik, whose “goal is to satisfy the working public’s unquenchable thirst for sports enlightenment.”
Judging from the inanity, that’s likely all that’s getting satisfied there in Plains…farm animals excluded natch.
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:40 pm
68
PW says:
LSU-Bama predictions, anyone?
As much as I’d like to see LSU win and keep the SEC’s MNC hopes alive, I have a gut feeling Bama’s gonna win in what will become a classic. Watch for insufferable Bammers clogging up the EDSBS internets and ebays immediately afterward.
If this happens, all of my anti-Big 10 hopes are going to rest on the shoulders of KU and/or BC. Yes, I just threw up a little.
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:45 pm
69
PW says:
actually, just KU or BC; they can’t both play tOSU.
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:46 pm
70
louholtzlithp says:
#38
Tim, don’t mistake last year’s WVU defense with this year’s WVU defense. Light years my friend, light years.
Besides, the expectations of Bennett grew because he reaped the benefits of throwing the ball up to Calvin Johnson every other play in the Gator Bowl. Hell, had Reggie Ball done that his entire career, he’d have been a first round draft pick.
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:49 pm
71
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
61: LSU will win easily and show that Saban and ‘Bama are frauds that have gotten lucky lately.
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:51 pm
72
bada-bing says:
Should be an awesome game.
Less better have his khaki’s pulled up extra high and shirt tucked extra tight for this one.
Roll Tide..see ya in T-town bitches.
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:54 pm
73
Baghuan says:
We need to make this a priority. You can vote once per day per IP address.
http://2007.weblogawards.org/polls/best-sports-blog-1.php
November 2nd, 2007 at 12:57 pm
74
Alagator says:
It would have been more effective if Bob Goulet had done the signing! Just sayin’
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:02 pm
75
Tater Salad says:
61:
I’ll be the first to say I have no idea on this game. My biggest hope is that Alabama doesn’t get run out of the stadium.
If LSU sticks to the run and doesn’t cough it up, I think we lose. Why UT stopped running I don’t know, because Bama’s D couldn’t stop it. If they air it out, I think our secondary is good enough to force a TO, maybe 2.
If Terry Grant can run, I think we have a much better shot, but I don’t think he’ll be able to. JP and DJ et al are gonna have to torch LSU to give TG some running room. FSU’s defense is prob the best we’ve seen yet, and that’s not a good sign.
Alabama will have to play their best game and get some help.
All that being said, I think Bama will at least cover. If Leslie kicks to Javy, that could be the difference maker.
I’m most excited to see what blitz packages have been installed with the off week.
I think there are three key matchups:
(1) Early Doucet and (a) Kareem Jackson or (b) Lionel Mitchell
(2) Justin Britt / Evan Cardwell and Glen Dorsey
(3) DJ Hall and whoever happens to be covering him on any given play
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:12 pm
76
Tater Salad says:
And (2) should include B.J. Stabler
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:13 pm
77
Clemson327 says:
Actually I don’t know if I’d go to a GT/Clemson game at Bobby Dodd. The point totals of the last two games there between these teams have been 16 and 19.
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:16 pm
78
PW says:
Did anyone read the AJC story about the stolen jerseys? A Nike rep was there to give them orange swooshes and make sure the Russell logo got blacked out.
I can see the Nike rep– dressed in a dri-fit business suit with two different colored sleeves and a tire-tread pattern on the pants– frantically searching through his briefcase, which contains over 500 colors of swooshes, trying to find the right ones.
And would Russell have a claim against Nike for passing off Russell’s uniforms as their own? Discuss. (45 mins)
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:21 pm
79
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Baghuan: EDSBS is running in third place right now.
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:25 pm
80
mp says:
i think alabama might get burned on screens and delayed runs, I hope the defense doesn’t come out too aggressive
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:26 pm
81
PeterPumpkinhead says:
The other sport in question at Bama is women’s track and it’s EVERY member of that team. The football players learned about how to do it from one of them. There may be a couple of random players from other sports.
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:35 pm
82
kt says:
Gonna be a rough week next week for us Aubies…
Bama 21 LSU 17
Damn me! Damn me!
You’re still going on probation! So blahhhh….
Probation Nation!
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:36 pm
83
kt says:
Pumpkin, are you serious?
I would have bet it was going to be the baseball team.
See! Even Bama’s women cheat at sports!
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:39 pm
84
Tater Salad says:
kt,
I usually enjoy your posts (as much as possible) but where is all this probation stuff coming from? I only see it posted on Aubie message boards.
If some asshole in the AD is leaking info to aubies, that’s really going to piss me off.
Chris King is a douche, btw. At least that’s the rumor
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:48 pm
85
kt says:
Thanks Tater, same here.
Some folks are adamant about the whole deal, but there is a lot of unknowns.
Someone smarter than I please educate me (and this is applicable to any school):
Say for instance, something like this happens and it is primarily around one minor sport, i.e. track, and there is just one or two students from the major sports, football or basketball. How would it adversly effect the football or basketball programs? I understand that there is an orgizational control issue but the football program would not get slammed with scholly reductions or anything because the track team committed major infractions, would they?
Thanks in advance.
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:01 pm
86
War Eagle says:
tater – does that make EDSBS a barner forum?
The investigation watch started almost as soon as Saban started at UA,T, when he went to Looziana recruiting at a high school with a former LSU player or two in his entourage. It’s a violation of some sort somehow, i think to do with who can go on recruiting trips.
There were a few other whispers of stuff and then the allegations in Miami accidentally divulged by HS players who told local media all about their conversations with St. Nick Saban the Savior, Bless His Holy Name, during a period where he’s basically allowed to say ‘Hello, young man, I’ll be back to talk to you when the NCAA allows me to have more contact with you.”
And UA,T’s fingerprints are all over grade changing scandals at Hoover High School, which is not directly related to St. Nick Saban, Bless His Holy Name, but directly related to the football program.
There’s lots of stuff out there. These three are all media reported. Much repeated on AU boards, LSU boards and various Miami/The U/FSU/USF sites, but all originating from legit media sources.
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:18 pm
87
PeterPumpkinhead says:
I’m serious… my understanding is that no player received money, though… the deal was they got extra books for their friends, but all the books were turned back in as they should have been.
I don’t “officially” know how they did it, but the theory is that they enrolled for those classes, gave their friends the books, dropped the classes, but waited until the end of the semester to turn them back in. It seems the SUPe store doesn’t check mid-semester to see if athletes dropped a course.
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:25 pm
88
PeterPumpkinhead says:
Whether or not there’s going to be any phone call or visit restrictions coming from the stuff that allegedly happened in the spring, I don’t know.
But you Aubies can shut the F**k up already about Hoover. There’s no more Alabama wrongdoing there than there was Auburn wrongdoing in Mobile. That’s an exceedingly dead horse.
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:29 pm
89
kt says:
The Bama beat writers aren’t excactly sunshine pumping on this either. Crimson Chatter, Rap Sheet, etc…
http://www.al.com/blogs/
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:31 pm
90
Tater Salad says:
WE-
Doesn’t make edsbs a barner forum, but the only talk on here about bama and probation is from aubies.
Never heard of CNS recruiting with former LSU players. It’s definitely a violation. I think I remember something about Ole Miss and Deuce McAllister.
The Miami stuff was stupid of CNS, but I doubt whether other coaches who recruit say “Hello, I’m Coach X, but I can’t talk to you now.” Don’t think that would be that big of a deal if reported, which I think it was.
As far as I understand, Chapman has been cleared to play by the NCAA. As far as I know, that’s the only Alabama player related to any grade changing at Hoover. However, I think it was an 89.5 rounded to a 90 for eligibility purposes. I would think at most high schools, if a kid was facing not going to college for free because of 0.5, it would prob be changed. Doesn’t make it right, but it seems like more of an internal matter at Hoover.
All that being said, it would be nice of all the aubies got on the same page as to what the alleged PLoI involves, instead of throwing shit out to see what sticks. Hopefully nothing serious sticks
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:35 pm
91
PeterPumpkinhead says:
kt, they’re reporting the meeting everyone knows about, where Mal pitched a 4-game suspension for the football players… I don’t see anything else in there about other issues, though.
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:39 pm
92
bamafanintigerland says:
Will Bryant-Denny be louder then the 2005 Florida game? I think it might be. The only sound one might hear when LSU has the ball besides the crowd will be the faint whirl of the crazies running through Les Miles head.
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:43 pm
93
Tater Salad says:
bamafan,
I think it will be close to as loud as UF ‘05. The big difference is LSU is likely bringing a few thousand more into BDS than UF did. Also, in the UF game, most people didn’t think we had a shot, and we got up early and we got up big. The crowd was really loose. They might be tighter for this game. Here’s hoping they’re not
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:48 pm
94
Tater Salad says:
Oh, and bamafan, I think the sound of crazies running through Lester’s head is anything but faint…
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:50 pm
95
PW says:
I like EDSBS threads a lot better when they’re filled with witty pop culture references, inside jokes, and anything in Orgeron-speak. I don’t even mind Bama-Auburn threadacks, but really, no one gives a shit about recruiting violations.
I’d venture to say that half of the football players in the SEC were either illegally contacted or paid by the school (or boosters) for which they now play. Does it make a school dirty? Yes, but that’s just the way it goes in major D1 football.
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:53 pm
96
Tater Salad says:
PW-
Agreed. I think Orson has made the point before that he views D1 college football as a sort of minor league football.
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:57 pm
97
Erik says:
Tiders, you’re projecting. Did I push your buttons?
Cecil Hurt likes to eat poop.
November 2nd, 2007 at 3:17 pm
98
War Eagle says:
pun’kinhead, I like when people get angry – let’s me know I hit a nerve. lol.
and, Tater, it wasn’t a simple rounding issue. The 89 was the final grade. The kid, an AU verbal commit, was ineligible and it was a done deal. After UA,T official called an official at the school, it was changed to 90 by ‘mistakenly’ averaging the first semester grade with the final grade.
Duh.
The final grade is already averaged.
Very, very lame and very, very improbable. It does, however, allow people to claim “They just rounded a grade, no big deal.”
The difference between Hoover and Mobile is that there is no connection between AU and Mobile officials. That and it’s been ruled a non-issue already by the NCAA.
Tater, I have no idea about any alleged PLOI. I will surely find out more though.
November 2nd, 2007 at 3:50 pm
99
Steve says:
War Eagle,
I’ve read the entire 90 page report in the situation.
The only, ONLY contact Alabama had with Hoover, is when they had a kid who they had, who they were told that he was eligible. They got one report where he had one set of grades that was his final transcript, Kevin Steele called and asked what the deal was, they told him that they had made a mistake, and sent over the “fixed” grades.
The blame was on Hoover’s end. If Alabama had that much power to get kids passed, then Kerry Murphy would be playing for them right now. They want to get as many kids on D1 scholarships so they can recruit talent to their football program (Hoover). That’s their goal. That’s why they have been changing grades and shit like that.
Don’t try and turn it into anything it isn’t. It isn’t like Tubby is running a crystal clean program over there, with the Irons brothers (I got a fuck midget in this suitcase!) and Cadillac Williams being shining examples of recent graduates from the football program.
Sociology degrees for everyone!
November 2nd, 2007 at 4:23 pm
100
CapstoneAlum says:
Hey Erik, you know what else reeks of desperation?
Anything related to Ole Miss…ya’ll spent so much time bitching about the correct call being made in the UA/OM game, that you forgot to pay attention to Arkansas..
November 2nd, 2007 at 5:05 pm