Tonight, we will be at Bobby Dodd Stadium to watch Georgia Tech play Virginia Tech. Because one team is being coached by Chan Gailey, we plan on bringing our own coffee. Seriously.

This marks the first time since childhood we’ll have seen a game in Bobby Dodd, since we went to grad school there but never felt compelled to watch the Chantastic! football played inside. Hopefully, the scenic skyline and periodically hilarious play of the Virginia Tech offense are enough to keep us awake during the first half.

We won’t need it at halftime. Why? Because halftime belongs to Big Boi tonight. Outkast and Chan Gailey! It’s like a broken glass and liverwurst sandwich, but we’re eating what’s on the plate.

The body count for week ten continues to mount. Follow along as we play doctor on the internet with the ACC, Big Ten, and Big East.

Ray Nitschke didn’t get injured. He waited until he died to get hurt.

ACC

–Boston College safety Wes Davis is questionable for the game against Florida State due to “an injured head.” We and the AP will leave it up to your imagination whether that’s a concussion, fractured skull, or “rusty rake embedded in forehead.”

–Clemson wideout Jacoby Ford is definitely out for the rest of the season with a broken ankle. There, now that’s specific injury reportage.

–No injuries for Duke this week besides the indignity of their existence.

–Florida State’s roster looks like a farmer’s market that a senior citizen just plowed through: over the course of the season, 15 players have been injured or suspended for discipline/academic issues. The most important of numerous injuries: running back Antone Smith is probable for the game, meaning he’s probably actually injured his ankle, and he’s probably gonna play anyway.

–Georgia Tech’s RB Rashaun Grant is out for the season with an ankle injury.

–Maryland offensive lineman Bruce Campbell is questionable for this weekend with an ankle injury, and will fill the time by being hungry like the wolf and fighting the undead. Ahoy!

–Miami quarterback Kyle Wright is probable for the NC State game thanks to ankle/knee/ruptured self-esteem issues.

–Virginia RB Cedric Peerman is questionable for this weekend’s game with an ankle injury.

Big East

–Cincinnati has no significant injuries. Pussies.

–Louisville tackle Adrian Grady tore his pectoral muscle, by far the coolest injury you can have next to a “Lisfranc” fracture, because you have to have pecs so huge they literally fly off your body when flexed. Lisfranc, in case you didn’t know, is French for “wang.” Clinton Portis pioneered this injury when he was at Miami.

–Pittsburgh guard Joe Thomas is probable with a strained groin for the game against Syracuse. We know there’s nothing funny about a strained groin, but there is something funny about a strained groin that is not ours.

–Two cogs of the South Florida offense–WR Amarri Jackson and RB Mike Ford–are both probable for USF’s game versus Cincy. (Who has no significant injuries. Pussies…unless they just won’t ever admit they’re hurt. Mind bullets, man.)

–Syracuse, like Duke, only suffers the indignity of being Syracuse. That’s all the injury one needs.

Big Ten

–Illinois had a minivan crash’s worth of injuries in the game against Ball State, who may not beat you, but will maim you: WR Kyle Hudson, DE Derek Walker, TE Michael Hoomanawanui, safety Garrett Edwards, and RB Troy Pollard are all questionable for Saturday’s game against Minnesota after facing Ball State.

–If Illinois crashed a minivan, Iowa’s whole goddamn tour bus plunged off a cliff. Eleven players are suspended or probable/questionable for the game, most notably RB Albert Young (shoulder) and LB Mike Klinkenborg (broken hand.) Iowa’s a deadly place full of sharp corners, bathtubs without grip strips, and countless farm machines to get limbs caught in, evidently.

–Indiana running back Bryan Payton has an “undisclosed” injury and is questionable.

–Michigan State linebacker Sir Darean Adams is out due to an injured criminal record.

–Michigan has no injuries because Lloyd Carr doesn’t talk about them. But Henne and Hart are likely starting even with nagging injuries. We found this out through reading the papers magic!

–Minnesota has some injured players on defense. They will lay down on the sidelines for a change instead of lying prostrate on the field and weeping as they’ve done for most of the season.

–Wisconsin’s P.J. Hill is probable with a bruised left foot for the OSU game.

…is up over at the Sporting News, complete with horror movie theme. Yes, we’re picking Michigan State over Michigan. Sometimes you just want to go down in multicolored flames rather than the normal, mundane yellow and orange variety.

Spurrier: would have called out the dogs on the dawgs.

If he had been in Urban Meyer’s position in the Georgia game, Steve Spurrier woulda done some whoopin’ and a-hollerin’ of some sort in response. Or at the very least, according to him, sent a third-stringer out there to do it for the team.

Spurrier said if Gators coach Urban Meyer had known what was going to happen after the Bulldogs’ first touchdown last week, he should have sent out ”one of his third-team guys and get in a wrestling match with the guys, get a fight started.”

”Leave the bench in a fight, and you’re out the next game,” Spurrier said. ”That’s what we’d do if the other team ever does that.”

Spurrier hasn’t checked the Florida depth chart lately, or at least not the defensive depth chart, at least–there is no third string, especially along the d-line and in the secondary. However, suggesting that you deliberately start a fight to get players suspended is downright Lamar Thomas-ish of Spurrier. Why not take the logical step forward and really kick things up?

–Unleash 3rd String DB Moise Paul on the field, who is not actually a human but in truth an intemperate Presa Canario who wears a jersey and sleeps beneath the stadium.

–Hire blimp driven by madman to crash into mobbing Georgia players.

–Send group of tattooed ruffians in baggy pants to challenge Bulldog players to intense dance-off.

–Shoot them all the bird from the sideline. And no, not that pinched, bent-fingered bird, but the big, callous, irresponsible tall man from the West Coast, man. Lay the knuckles flat and let the old waggling fingerdick do the talking.

–Apply bling, hoes, and fat rolls pregame. Stunt and shine so tightly they can’t sleep hating on you and lose concentration as their women run paralyzed by your wealth to your sideline and immediately begin begging to make you rich with their street-stalkin’ skillz.

(HT: FanIQ.)

The Curious Index will be along in a moment. In the meantime, please enjoy genius of the totally unrelated to football variety.