Comments on: GETTING IN TOUCH WITH YOUR MANHOOD, FOOTBALL-STYLE

By: Mr Pelican Pants

Mr Pelican Pants — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 03:58:03 +0000

#29
Yes I would say tOSU is Old Gregg, complete with mangina…MothaLicka…thanks now I’m strung out on that silly show just like I’m strung out on Flight of the Conchords, just silly zany whacked out comedy….
downstairs mixup, ….dont lie to me boy…..whatcha doin out here in my waters….LOL

By: Bullish on the Future

Bullish on the Future — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 02:22:28 +0000

Sure, I might only be in 12th grade, but I’ve been bangin’ my teachers since I was in Jr. High. Got all the right tools, living in Florida and what not. I was quietly working my way through the PTA before word got around about my rapidly growing penis. So anyway, this Thursday night I snagged the latest hot thing, I think she said something about living near a beach or ocean or something to get me home, but it turns out she was from Jersey. I walk in and she had all these lights and cameras and stuff… I think that John Stossel guy was even there. Anyway, I freaked out and couldn’t perform.
I am South Florida

By: dick gozinya f/k/a sb

dick gozinya f/k/a sb — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 18:19:25 +0000

Richard Cranium @ #43, your tOSU missive is excellence…may you be fellated 100 times for your efforts.

By: Dissapointed AL MAN

Dissapointed AL MAN — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 13:31:35 +0000

I just went out and had a $4 million dollar/yr stud put in my unit, and man does it look great! It’s shiny and it gets a lot of attention and everybody wants to know about it. But when it comes to actual performance, it’s a different story. I’m doing great with the fatties and the wannabe’s, but the classy chicks and the smoking hot numbers are still just not impressed, or I just can’t perform all together. I’m starting to wonder whether the stud was a good life decision. I’m afraid that one day I’m going to have to remove it, and I’ll just be left with the scar where it was. Oh well, I’ve got other scars that past experiments have left me with too, so I guess I can go on.

I am Alabama

By: PW

PW — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 13:29:28 +0000

#45 Albino Tornado, here you go:

You are a vagina.

By: Cincy

Cincy — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:40:03 +0000

It’s been 8 weeks and you still have yet to close the deal. You’ve been trying god bless you, but once you whip out your chapstick-sized weiner they just laugh and go home.

You haven’t looked good all year. In fact your best performance was back in a pre-season scrimmage, and even then you are pretty sure that Lotion and Towel were faking it.

You do take solace in the fact that your partner-in-virginity, FIU, isn’t making any progress across town.

Sigh… Utah St.

By: Mike Honcho

Mike Honcho — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 05:01:40 +0000

genius

By: gopherdroppings

gopherdroppings — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 04:53:53 +0000

The Minnesota penis would be the one that wasn’t exactly big, fast, or powerful, but somehow it had its niche. It was great for going down to the local watering hole for some cougar hunting, and it got the job done with regularity, and kept its owners content. Every year on that trip to the club in Vegas, or LA, or Miami though, it was useless and never came out to play.

Now, the penis has moved permanently to South Beach and is hanging out each night drinking $14 martinis and trying to be a little bit bigger than it really is, and when the initial game does work out, the complete lack of any defense against the return assault of STDs dooms it to be scorched by burning, merciless super herpes.

By: Albino Tornado

Albino Tornado — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 01:27:54 +0000

I don’t know whether or not to be thankful or sad that Jackheart opted not to examine what Nebraska’s got under the hood.

By: big jon 8.0

big jon 8.0 — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 23:55:08 +0000

I was doing quite well with the chicas, more scores than shutouts if you know what I mean. I was throwing it all over the place and times were… disappointingly ok. Quantity was good, but when I came up against a real hottie, especially those Cali girls, it was like I left my junk at home.

But then I got this surgery and it’s like “woah baby!” It’s not just big, it’s strong too. I’m like an excited labrador wagging it’s tail, knocking lamps off tables and shit. I had to get some confidence against some average chicks and even a few uggos, but I went after a real hottie last week and long story short she’s cleaning baby batter out of her hair this morning. This surgery was the best thing to ever happen to me, but the doctor was Hatian and missing a few teeth, so I still have a few doubts. I’m going after the sweetest piece of ass in town on saturday night to see if this thing’s for real.

I am… ARIZONA STATE.

By: Richard Cranium

Richard Cranium — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 21:44:51 +0000

Ah Ohio State penis man, you are the one who has fallen on hard times trying to find respect. Sure Last year you were running through them with ease. Laying them down and leaving them hurt and broken all over the place, hell even went down South for a little texas cow-girl, which was kind of kinky having Matthew McConaughey jump up and down watching you work. It was the run of the lifetime and everyone was crowning you king following a climax with that whore Ann Arbor.
But then came the dry spell, you let yourself get fat for 50+ days while there was noone to conquer. Then came along this Southern Belle who was a gator in sheep’s clothing. You met her out in Arizona, that lover’s haven Tempe. The anticipation was so much and then you blew your wad in the first 10 seconds of the game. After that it was all you could do to try and keep up with the fast paced vixen and the shear embarassment of having her give the Cleveland Steamer and Cincinnati Bowtie (with the nod to #11) as a horribly embarassing parting gift. Sure it “only happened that once and hasn’t since but it will be a long time before you get any respect for your wang again. All one can ask is that you make Wisconsin, Illinois, and Michigan mothify your wang in the coming weeks and then Ram it Home in January. Don’t let them hold you down OSU penis man.

By: Irwin Fletcher

Irwin Fletcher — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 20:59:32 +0000

We at UF broke the dick and now are contemplating trying the ol’ “dog in the bathtub” trick by trying to ram home the nuts as well (re: Harvin and James @ RB).

By: sb

sb — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 20:42:45 +0000

Ah, Florida…so properly described as a “spastic highschool spunkfest” certainly gets off but man what a mess that gets left behind…

By: PW

PW — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 20:32:31 +0000

The problem with UF is that while we have the dick every major program in the country wanted 2 years ago, a dick that set all kinds of records in high school, we just keep ramming it into walls and it’s starting to fall apart.

Also, we have no secondary.

By: Zook Line and Sinker

Zook Line and Sinker — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 20:30:48 +0000

You can talk your way into any ladies pants. You “claim” to have taught the biggest dick in town all of his partner pleasing ways. Yet when penetration is about to happen, you shit the bed, or put it in the wrong hole, or blow your load prematurely.
I am Illinois