CURIOUS INDEX, 10/29/07

by Orson on Oct 29, 2007 8:50 AM EDT

Corrupting youth the way it was meant to be done: one youth at a time.

Mike Bellotti's wife is crazay. Mike Bellotti's wife ain't nothing to fuck with, per John Canzano of the Daily Oregonian, who was screamed at and nearly slapped by the Oregon head coach's wife in the pressbox during the USC game. Madame Bellotti had taken issue with a column Canzano wrote about Bellotti's son, who got two DUIs and served a suspension from the team. Bellotti, five kids in tow and backed up by a fierce nanny, went bonkers on Canzano toward the end of the Ducks' otherwise stellar 24-17 victory over the Trojans:

She leaned in, grabbed by my suit lapel, and lit into me with a string of expletives, asking me if I have children, and telling me, "This is going to come back on you tenfold." And she threatened to slap me, which was not such a nice example in front of the kiddies.

I told it was poor form that she would approach me in the press box, with a strong smell of alcohol on her breath, hissing and spitting mad, talking to me about alcohol abuse.

The nanny lights into him afterward, a security guard is dispatched, and Canzano admits that she has better hair than he does (mostly because Colleen Bellotti has hair.) It's magnificent stuff that in the SEC would be the soap opera of the year, but will likely boil off harmlessly in the Pac-10.

(HT: Someone who texted last night, but whose number has no name attached to it. Please let me know if you were the one who tipped.)

Mark Mangino's appearance in a velour track suit was still really the biggest event of the weekend, both in terms of football and news-by-the-pound. Putting Up Bricks refers to the outfit as "the Bensonhurst starter kit in full effect."

Nice and quiet: that's how we like it at Michigan. Yost should be on the verge of having a stroke: a Michigan Associate AD complains about all that vulgar, pesky noise at football games. In a perfect world, this man would be tarred, feathered, and thrown in a cage with Rampage Jackson and Colleen Bellotti for dessert.

UGA/UF: a punter's holiday. Between the two teams there were only five punts, with UGA only punting twice on the day versus UF's headless defense. Joel has the animated drive chart up, and the theme for today is red, red, and more red. Make it work, designers!

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I was watching football last Saturday with my ten year old daughter. She gasped while we were clicking through the channels.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Look at that guy. He’s giant. Is something wrong with him?”

We had paused on the KU game and the camera panned over to Mangino. Complete truth. I’ve heard that Mangino has this effect on first time viewers.

Also, the state of Kansas is so flat that when Mangino stands at the horizon you see the curvature of the earth, as well as the indentation he creates.

by OhioDawg on Oct 29, 2007 9:12 AM EDT reply actions

So I take it Michigan’s associate AD was pleased you could hear a pin drop when App. State beat them??

If anyone in UConn’s athletic department said that, they would receive one swift kick in the nuts from this guy.

by Edsall is God on Oct 29, 2007 9:22 AM EDT reply actions

Sounds like Michigan’s AD has been talking to Roger Goodell

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/nflinsider/2006/09/commissioner_says_hell_study_p.html

by bamafanintigerland on Oct 29, 2007 9:24 AM EDT reply actions

I like how Mangino stretches his shades to their breaking point with his massive noggin. KU’s engineering department needs to design a special helmet with a tinted face shield…and maybe double beer holders…and a mustard dispenser.

by PW on Oct 29, 2007 9:29 AM EDT reply actions

Everyone needs a fierce nanny. I still miss ours.

by DevilGrad on Oct 29, 2007 9:35 AM EDT reply actions

Following the link was worth it just to find out Michigan has an associate AD named ‘Bitsy’.

by chairLegInEyeSocket on Oct 29, 2007 9:44 AM EDT reply actions

I will pay $100 to the charity of Mark Mangino’s choice if he, just one time, will demand that Solo and the Wookie are brought to him.

by NoleinTexas on Oct 29, 2007 9:51 AM EDT reply actions

If you hire your nanny from Tuff Nannies, Inc., you will get a fierce nanny.

I guarantee it.

- Ken Lucas, CEO

Tuff Nannies, Inc.
1-800-Nan-Tuff
www.NoShitNannies.com

by Rival on Oct 29, 2007 9:56 AM EDT reply actions

An all you can eat for $9.99 restaurant’s worst nightmare – Mangino, Weis, Freidgen & Phat Phil show up for dinner.

Mangino wears a Size Tent suit.

by yoyofutbawl on Oct 29, 2007 10:01 AM EDT reply actions

Someone should revamp the old Hungry-Hungry-Hippo game and put Mangino’s head on the massive mammals and have him scoop up little footballs… or double-cheeseburgers. Maybe Weis can be one of the other hippos.

by fotodog on Oct 29, 2007 10:10 AM EDT reply actions

COLLEEN BELLOTTI HOPES YOU HAVE KIDS ONE DAY AND YOU CAN KNOW HOW IT FEELS!!! SHE’S A WOMAN!!! SHE’S FORTY!!!

by gerry dorsey on Oct 29, 2007 10:11 AM EDT reply actions

there you go #9 came up with the complete lineup. Can Mr.2cents photoshop the game or maybe Joel can and then animate it in flash.

by fotodog on Oct 29, 2007 10:12 AM EDT reply actions

Isn’t this the same Colleen Belotti that was caught fucking some other guy in a car somewhere outside Eugene while Mike Belotti was coaching a game at Autzen? Hard to believe she’s the ex – Signora – Belotti, really.

by DC Trojan on Oct 29, 2007 10:13 AM EDT reply actions

Although I hold a native’s affection for UGA, does anyone else besides me find it a bit excessive that they are suddenly 10th in the polls?

Didn’t they just narrowly escape Vandy 2 weeks ago?

by Gentleman Masher on Oct 29, 2007 10:13 AM EDT reply actions

That video deserves a YO!

ONE HUNDRED COCKTAILS of the early-morning variety, Orson.

by Seven Years in Gainesville on Oct 29, 2007 10:16 AM EDT reply actions

Orson, before you submit this week’s blog poll, I would like to remind you that you had dropped Auburn off the poll for being inconsistent after a last play loss to LSU.

Hope you do the same to your beloved Gators.

by AUGrad on Oct 29, 2007 10:17 AM EDT reply actions

Gerry Dorsey @ #11

I’m glad I wasn’t the only person who thought of that. I pictured Mike Gundy in a wig and a bottle of jack throwing newspaper in the guy’s face.

by The Bull-Gator on Oct 29, 2007 10:18 AM EDT reply actions

also, Re Michigan AD :

In a perfect world, this man would be tarred, feathered, and thrown in a cage with Rampage Jackson and Colleen Bellotti for dessert.

Correct, sir. And that perfect world is the SE-fucking-C.

by TIGERinATL on Oct 29, 2007 10:27 AM EDT reply actions

If it takes 5 Taiwanese children 5 minutes to make 1 men’s-large velour track suit, and Taiwanese children can hold their breath for 2 minutes, how many Taiwanese children died after becoming inextricably trapped under the 3 square miles of velour it took to make the track suit worn by Mangino on Saturday?

by PW on Oct 29, 2007 10:29 AM EDT reply actions

Ha, ha, PW.

That’s a trick question: No mere mortals could possibly create that suit.

Can Galactus sew?

Maybe Orson could ask the Silver Surfer.

by Rival on Oct 29, 2007 10:48 AM EDT reply actions

If only Mike Belloti coached at UCLA or USC, Colleen would have had her own reality show on E! way before now. Not only did she screw the neighbor in a parked car (the internet version of the story that it was an ex-player is not true, though it would be awesome if it were), she also managed to get herself banned from Eugene Country Club. They apparently have a strict no striking of the employee’s policy, one that Colleen struggled to abide by. Throw in the escapades of young Luke for variety and you have a pretty good show.

by BennyBeav on Oct 29, 2007 10:50 AM EDT reply actions

Finally…

19 cocktails to you sir.

With all of the literary and pop culture refrences on this site, some real mathmatical content. I have reread the question posed, and even though I have over two years of calculus and advanced mathmatics (thank you engineering degree, collecting dust), I am simply unable to provide a solution.

Perhaps we should post it in the hallway for Matt Damon to solve?

by skinnyphatman on Oct 29, 2007 10:51 AM EDT reply actions

- If Nick Saban had time for that shit he would say 4

by sabanite on Oct 29, 2007 10:58 AM EDT reply actions

Will Mr. Tebow win the Heisman, go Pro and send Florida back to the old days of “Name ReCrapted”?

by Harvey Wireman on Oct 29, 2007 11:07 AM EDT reply actions

Because if Mr. Tebow hangs out one more year in Florida, and gets another hit to the head or shoulder, he might be gonners.

by Harvey Wireman on Oct 29, 2007 11:08 AM EDT reply actions

He has to stay another year unless he decides to pull a Maurice Clarett/ Mike Williams.

by PW on Oct 29, 2007 11:08 AM EDT reply actions

Well, if Mr. Tebow has to stay another year, someone tell Mrs. Meyer not to use him as a battering ram and risk wasting him and the team.

by Harvey Wireman on Oct 29, 2007 11:10 AM EDT reply actions

I say Mrs. Meyer, because she made Urban go to Florida. His dream job was at Notre Dame.

by Harvey Wireman on Oct 29, 2007 11:12 AM EDT reply actions

#21, I can only dream of Mdme Belotti let loose in the LA television market. Unfortunately who in their right mind would leave the Nike Pleasure Dome in Oregon that Phil Knight did decree?

by DC Trojan on Oct 29, 2007 11:38 AM EDT reply actions

I would like to point out that all 3 of UF losses have come after Bunda-less Fridays… I’m not pointing fingers but I’m just sayin’…..

by sabanite on Oct 29, 2007 11:42 AM EDT reply actions

Sorry… the last 2 UF losses have been preceded by bunda-less Fridays… did run cheesecaked before the AU loss…my mistake

by sabanite on Oct 29, 2007 11:45 AM EDT reply actions

I haven’t seen anyone look so sexy in a bucket hat since this guy. I guess the bucket hat has replaced the fedora as the hat to wear.

by jebus on Oct 29, 2007 12:04 PM EDT reply actions

Wow. And I thought the MSU Blue Line Club (hockey boosters) was a bunch of angry old geezers for glaring at us for having the audacity to, you know, cheer on our team. (And there wasn’t even any profanity there. The drunken frat crowd only goes to the football games … and maybe basketball, but they know Izzo ain’t gonna stand for that kind of shit.) At least our football and basketball programs know better.

If the Michigan AD wants his fans silenced, I’m all for it.

by SpartanDan on Oct 29, 2007 12:52 PM EDT reply actions

i’m now actively sending bloodhounds throughout teh internets to find that song so i can make it my default ringtone on my cellphone. that is simply the most outstanding thing i’ve ever heard ever.

by Cameron Siggs on Oct 29, 2007 4:31 PM EDT reply actions

So, Larry Miller from Unneccessary Roughness is working in the Michigan AD’s office? Good for him.

by Albino Tornado on Oct 29, 2007 5:56 PM EDT reply actions

Agreed that senora Bellotti is indeed bad crazy. But after reading the blog story and the original story that got her pissed off, the writer she went off on is a total douchebag. This is one of those stories where nobody looks good.

by oc phil on Oct 30, 2007 3:46 AM EDT reply actions