BLOOD BALLS YAY BLOOD BALLS

by Orson on Oct 29, 2007 3:35 PM EDT

Buckeye Commentary spots a great Kirk Barton quote from why tOSU took particular savor from their victory in Happy Valley against the Penn State Saturday. It all comes down to one thing: don't mess with the band.

"Real quick before I go on, I just want to say we dedicated this to our band, well, that's something I came up with because they couldn't come back after they had like piss bombs and blood balls thrown at them last year, so this is for our band. It's not all Penn State fans, it only takes a couple, but it spoils the whole experience of college football for our band. Just let them know we're thinking about them (the band)."

Don't waste blood balls, kids. Also: remember to pay your taxes.

Blood balls? Dear god...we know that blood balls had a deep and enduring role in the traditions of college football, but sweet jesus, what kind of savage throws them? They should be cherished for what they are and their unique roles at each school, not tossed willy-nilly at the band like so many loose bolts and broken glass.

At LSU, they fry them; at Miami, they throw them at chalk outlines to prevent investigations from proceeding (no snitching!); at Tennessee they feed them to Phil; at Ole Miss, they throw them at Ed Orgeron, who wears a loincloth and carries a flamethrower around campus on Thursdays just to send a message to the world. At Wisconsin they drink them, since the prevailing BAC in Madison is high enough to qualify blood balls as high-gravity beer; at Washington, Ty Willingham uses them as golf balls on the driving range, where he is the ball two to three hours a day, not the club. In

But throwing them? Please. Blood balls are too precious a commodity for mere band-baiting. That's what piss-bombs are for, and West Virginia fans will be more than happy to send someone for a train-the-trainer session in that.

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ironic

by deed on Oct 29, 2007 3:41 PM EDT reply actions

I… wow.

by jebus on Oct 29, 2007 3:46 PM EDT reply actions

#1, my thoughts exactly. Stones. Glass house. etc.

by Andy on Oct 29, 2007 3:46 PM EDT reply actions

Blood balls? Sweet Lord.

OK,I’m now willing to admit that Big 10 fans > SEC fans

by PW on Oct 29, 2007 3:50 PM EDT reply actions

Pardon my ignorance, but could someone please explain what a blood ball actually is? I mean, I could guess, but I’m hoping it’s not that.

by DC Trojan on Oct 29, 2007 4:00 PM EDT reply actions

i think a reporter just misheard “mud balls” somehow.

the piss bombs are entirely accurate and true, though

by bup bup bup on Oct 29, 2007 4:05 PM EDT reply actions

DC Trojan,

A quick google search found this:
http://www.bewarethecheese.com/bloodballs.htm

Yes, someone has dedicated a website to rating gum. The internet makes me sad sometimes.

by Biggus Rickus on Oct 29, 2007 4:05 PM EDT reply actions

I’m picturing bags of blood stolen from a bloodmobile and put into dodgeballs to simulate an oil tanker’s bladder system.

by PW on Oct 29, 2007 4:07 PM EDT reply actions

WV fan here…and I need to set the record straight…we never throw piss bombs at the band. We throw them at the other fans and the opponents sidelines, but never the band.

But admittedly we do have a fair amount of expertise in shitting in the opponents band section at halftime.

by Hossnfeffer on Oct 29, 2007 4:15 PM EDT reply actions

Next we’ll be hearing about how the Penn State fans were stealing the unborn children of the OSU faithful’s women right out of their wombs and selling them to the local Indians for wampum. These tales get better and better every year…poor wittle Buckeyes…

by immikfefazz on Oct 29, 2007 4:19 PM EDT reply actions

dude, it’s not like any of that is made up. penn state fans really did throw bags of piss and balls of mud at the band. i’ve got several friends who were in the band at the time, and a few of them got hit.

the delicious irony is that this season penn state’s players have to pick up their own fans’ piss bags

by bup bup bup on Oct 29, 2007 4:35 PM EDT reply actions

His last comment, about thinking about the band…ummm, did the band die in Happy Valley?? Was a tuba player killed?? I’m confused.

I visited Penn State as a Sigma Chi to visit their fraternity house and, ummm, yeah, that was a scary place. Those poor, poor souls who pledged.

by Edsall is God on Oct 29, 2007 4:36 PM EDT reply actions

not that anybody cares, but…

threadjack/

Sam Keller out for the year.

/threadjack

Resume bloody ball jokes presently.

by Land of Os(borne) on Oct 29, 2007 4:40 PM EDT reply actions

Blood balls are so metal.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Oct 29, 2007 4:42 PM EDT reply actions

i mean, look, when a PSU blog writes this about it’s OWN fanbase:

“This weekend featured some of the worst behavior from Penn State fans I can ever recall. I saw Ohio State fans being harassed for no reason other than they were wearing red as they just walked around the tailgate area. When the Blue Band played the Ohio State fight song in tribute to the visiting fans, the back rows of the freshman student section started up the predictable ‘Fuck Ohio’ chant.”

maybe it’s time to get off your ivory tower. not that Ohio State fans are all that much better, but we don’t have any misconceptions about it and have made an attempt to change things. most penn state fans refuse to acknowledge there’s even a problem

by bup bup bup on Oct 29, 2007 4:44 PM EDT reply actions

JoePa is moving from brains to pure blood to keep his youth.

by formerlyanonymous on Oct 29, 2007 4:47 PM EDT reply actions

You have to give PSU fans the benefit of the doubt, though, after reading the story about the 5,000 or so drunken student to 1 port-a potty ratio, it’s quite possible that during the evidently normal course of disposing of personal waste receptacles some opposing fans/band members could get caught in a crossfire.

On another note, I do not know what “blood balls” are and have no intention whatsoever of typing those two words into a google search bar either…Like ever…

by Pants McPants on Oct 29, 2007 4:47 PM EDT reply actions

JoePa likes to drain his brains before dinner, and he lets the student section use the blood.

by DevilGrad on Oct 29, 2007 4:49 PM EDT reply actions

Blood Balls Dept:

Blood balls at USC -> Pete Carroll uses them to condition his hair.

Blood balls at Notre Dame -> Charlie Weis uses them as dipping sauce for this chesse-burgers

Blood balls at ucla -> Given to Dorrell who has no idea what to do with them and just stares at them with deer-in-the-headlights eyes.

by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Oct 29, 2007 4:50 PM EDT reply actions

Blood Balls??? I picture a respectible amount of blood tied off in a condom. Am I close?

by King Harvest on Oct 29, 2007 5:00 PM EDT reply actions

What fun would that be? Those things never bust.

by PW on Oct 29, 2007 5:06 PM EDT reply actions

Dear, sweet, merciful, crap! Blood balls! that is unbelieveable and quite possibly one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard of.
1000 apologies to anyone who got hit with a blood ball.

by JB on Oct 29, 2007 5:10 PM EDT reply actions

Heavens, #14! Profanity! Hide the children!

THIS IS BIG TEN FOOTBALL! THIS AIN’T INTRAMURALS, BROTHER!

by Oops Pow Surprise on Oct 29, 2007 5:10 PM EDT reply actions

Oh, mud balls. Never mind. I though it was more like the result of an Aggie ball squeeze gone horribly wrong.

by DC Trojan on Oct 29, 2007 5:15 PM EDT reply actions

I have never been more terrified of the results of Google Image search. I have neither the heart (nor the stomach) to press enter on that on. I’m feeling my lunch inch it’s way back up as I write this.

by The Bull-Gator on Oct 29, 2007 5:26 PM EDT reply actions

The Needham hex would be soooooo much more effective if he used Blood Balls.

by NewAZTiger on Oct 29, 2007 5:28 PM EDT reply actions

We Penn State fans are already planning on pelting the Bucks with body parts stolen from the local morgue (sans brains, of course) when they come back in ’09. Either that or rotting deer carcasses picked up off Route 80.

by mhentz on Oct 29, 2007 5:36 PM EDT reply actions

People, people, enough with this non-sense…
Its time someone laid out the facts here:
THE Ohio State University is the GREATEST football program ever created in the history of humankind, nothing will ever surpass its greatness EVER.
And The Big 10 is strongest conference with the most challenging teams and the most “footballing” tradition.

Thank you, now go back to your ordinary lives..

hehe

by Buckeyedude on Oct 29, 2007 5:52 PM EDT reply actions

I did not know that the denizens of State College were such aficionados of the art of catching catfish with blood baits. The blood ball is used to attract ole Mr. Whiskers with its particularly vile odor. A most unpleasant projectile made from dead animals and animal stuff.

by Statesboro Dawg on Oct 29, 2007 6:11 PM EDT reply actions

don’t you know that us’ns poor folk from West Virginny are too dumb to teach anybody anything.

whatever we know we learnt by lookin’ at the pitchers (several times).

by wvjgrad69 on Oct 29, 2007 6:12 PM EDT reply actions

wvjgrad69,

Don’t sell yourselves short. You have much to teach us about proper furniture inflammation.

by Biggus Rickus on Oct 29, 2007 7:26 PM EDT reply actions

Barton the soundbite machine from USA Today article after the PSU game: "I’m a big fan of the deep ball. Chicks love the deep ball. Admittedly, this is a little out of context, but hilarious nonetheless!

by Ambush on Oct 29, 2007 10:03 PM EDT reply actions

We’re totally breaking out the AIDS Hose in ’09.

by Run Up The Score on Oct 30, 2007 12:04 AM EDT reply actions

still not one shred of evidence that it ever happenned. “yeah, my friend got hit….” still haven’t seen a police report, or heard from someone who was actually there.

regardless, our fans are rapidly deteriorating.

by j on Oct 30, 2007 10:59 AM EDT reply actions