GEORGIA/FLORIDA: A SUMMARY
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.–Mark Twain.
Extreme language ahead. You are warned.
Knowshon Moreno? Fuck. Damn. God fucking dammit. God motherfucking dammit. Holy motherfucking piss-shitting assfucking bullshit assshit. Just fucking godass pisswad fuckbagging Cleveland steamer cocksucking pussy-ass fucking motherfucking dickhead hellassed shitstorm goddamn brokedick shitwallah fuckheaded rectumweeping buttfucking cockmaster!
And pussyflap shitbubble queef-eating shiteared catfucker? Oh, fuck. Fuck him with a claw hammer. Fuck all of the fucking fucks. Come dumpster fatassed molebrained bitch ass assbitch shitface pissbrained assqueen. Forty fucking Christs sailing on a shitlog through shitstained shitwater. Wilford Brimley bukakke party.
Fuck.
Oh, this. Horrified jumping Jesus shooting propane tears through a dick-shaped flamethrower. Fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuckity fuck. Ram a tree sideways up my ass and call me a national park. Skullfucking poodleburning motherdamn fuckalongs. Shitsmelling catballs. Donkeysucking titslaps on turd-flavored flapjacks. Cleveland Steamer discount vacation whorecunted ballwashing Santorum sandwich-eating needledick sodomy turdcutter.
Fuck.
In summary:
–Rimjobbing snowballing cockbait? Shit.
–Fishfisting condor-rapist fucktrolley dildo-cowboy cocksmoking? Check.
–Shit, ass, fuck and more fucking bastardnuts shitfighting? Double check.
ps. Fuck.
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101
John says:
When are you going to write about how Tebow’s “not that good, and never will be.?
October 28th, 2007 at 2:04 am
102
foomanchoo says:
Where is that Florida fuck that was running his fat ass, jorts-wearing mouth last weekend?
October 28th, 2007 at 2:11 am
103
coastalbuck says:
Damn, this is entertaining!
October 28th, 2007 at 6:43 am
104
fotodog says:
John you apparently haven’t watched Florida play this year, because Tebow is good… injured, but good.
October 28th, 2007 at 7:24 am
105
Irwin Fletcher says:
It’s nice to see chucklehead OSU (0-3) and UGA (3-15) fans come together for a little gloatfest.
Enjoy for now bitches.
October 28th, 2007 at 7:45 am
106
Irwin Fletcher says:
Orson, to quote one of my favorite movies:
Archie: “How very interesting. You’re a true vulgarian, aren’t you?”
Otto: “YOU ARE THE VULGARIAN, YOU FUCK!”
October 28th, 2007 at 7:51 am
107
stapler says:
From ESPN:
“Tebow, who finished with minus-15 yards on 13 carries, did his best to fight back tears while talking to reporters afterward.
“Everybody was heartbroken after all three of our losses, but I think this one hurts just as much or more,” Tebow said. “We thought we’d bounced back from the other [losses].”
Nope, this time it was Georgia’s turn.”
Keep crying, Tebow. Keep crying. Urban Meyer is beginning to look a lot like Larry Coker.
October 28th, 2007 at 8:14 am
108
Mr. Excitement says:
Seems like all of the cockroaches are coming out of the woodwork to cheer the Florida loss.
The season is still far from settled, and your gloating will not last, perhaps not even until next week.
October 28th, 2007 at 8:39 am
109
Vol says:
I’m so confused this morning. My good guys in orange control their destiny, but i know we’re gonna screw it up with Arkansas, Kentucky and Vandy remaining. The football gods are toying with me and they’re setting me up for an emotional crushing.
October 28th, 2007 at 8:45 am
110
Harvey Wireman says:
Thanks for the Mammorieeeessss: Let’s be positive, instead of groaning and moaning, let’s be thankful for the following: Meyer, Tebow and Percy took the team on a great ride winning the championship. When Tebow heals, they will be a force once more.
Spurrier had the nation in stitches winning and losing, click clack.
In the West Coast, USC and Carroll had a great five or so year run. All of those top players will be better sooner rather than later, and who knows, another run might be coming.
What I do not get is Croom beating the smurfs of Kentucky, which beat LSU? How did that happen????
October 28th, 2007 at 8:47 am
111
Gatorpilot says:
Next time don’t hold back.
Motherfucking FUCK!
October 28th, 2007 at 8:52 am
112
Gurn says:
Does this make UGA yesterday’s “retarded kid”?
October 28th, 2007 at 8:54 am
113
Biggus Rickus says:
Ah, reading through the open thread and this post and comments makes me ever so happy.
October 28th, 2007 at 9:13 am
114
coastalbuck says:
9-0 Irwin, 9-0.
October 28th, 2007 at 9:18 am
115
Biggus Rickus says:
I also love any Florida fans complaining about a lack of class. I mean, Steve Spurrier was worshipped by you people. Steve. Fucking. Spurrier.
October 28th, 2007 at 9:59 am
116
Gatorsfor2-5MarkRicht says:
Considering that Mark Twain also said that the problem is “There aren’t too many fools, it’s just that the lightning ain’t distributed right”– I feel sad that a bolt hasn’t connected with you Sir and confidently write that what you’ve just written is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent blog post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on this site is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. After all, it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog, and the Poodles had much more fight.
October 28th, 2007 at 10:14 am
117
chazz says:
No wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your team STILL sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa
Won’t somebody PLEASE close the back door before the Buckeyes walk into the National Championship game????????? Hello…Hello… Chomp NOT!!!
GooooooooooBucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn they’re good.
October 28th, 2007 at 10:27 am
118
The Artist Formerly Known as tOSUBuckeyes says:
#102
Quit being an assclown, we’re on a nice roll and playing well, but we still have 3 MAJOR games left you idiot. It’s one thing to come here and argue or banter about teams and schedule strengths, or to even bash Alabama, those things are acceptable, but to just come here gloat and say that teams still suck, blah, blah, blah, is kind of classless.
Especially when the team you are talking about ass raped us last year 41-14.
October 28th, 2007 at 11:05 am
119
formerlyanonymous says:
Should I make the obvious point….
“This is just damn good SEC football.”
Perhaps the SEC is just having a down year?
October 28th, 2007 at 11:29 am
120
sjs1959 says:
Maybe Tebow will be healed in time for the Liberty Bowl; Southern Mississippi awaits!
October 28th, 2007 at 11:32 am
121
BeardGuy says:
Tebow’s injury was definitely an injury, but it doesn’t change the fact that Florida didn’t play a fucking down of defense. In all honesty, they remind me of Purdue or Michigan State: all O, no D.
October 28th, 2007 at 11:36 am
122
Fran Tarkentun says:
Truth be told, one time I ate my neighbor’s shit.
October 28th, 2007 at 11:42 am
123
JohnInHsv says:
Fotodog,
Urban Meyer runs a glorified option. Tebow is ideal for that style of football. The only problem is Florida doesn’t have the other skill players needed, so Tebow’s only option is to run and take the beating or try to deliver one of those wounded ducks using that painfully slow windup he has.
Tebow won’t survive two more years of Urban Meyer.
October 28th, 2007 at 11:43 am
124
TheGreatShocka says:
My friend was spot on in predicting that Florida was going to lose 4 times this year, cause it’s already happened. Florida lost twice to Auburn at the end of that game through Meyer’s brilliant “Call a TO a nano-second before the FG. ZOMG roflcopter! I am a head coach!” strategy.
SEC depth… or it could be that the top SEC teams just aren’t that good. I shall let the season play out this theory of mine.
October 28th, 2007 at 11:49 am
125
Futbawl Fan says:
Observations at this point in the season….
College football slogs along in the mud this season… no great team has reared it’s head, and a dozen little pan flashes have bubbled to the top but most have popped and sunk again.
Major powers are like the rich of our great country…. even in bad times they never sink really low for long (Alabama, TX) but even the richest can be humbled now and again (ND) which makes the poor among us happy for a saccarine sweet moment. Alas, the poor shall be trampled upon once again (Rutgers, Conn) and the rich shall smugly state that “order is preserved!”
Fortunately for all of college football the 85-scholly limit appears to be spreading the wealth of talent down to even the lower rungs (SoFla, Troy, Wake) giving rise to a middle class like America had in the 50’s-60’s. These teams will ignore their traditional doormat past and become nouveaux riche in the college landscape…. spending their moments in the limelight scarfing champagne from Tubby’s ears or Weis’ bellybutton….. bagging beautiful babes they meet who coo “….oh my, you’re from (Arizona State, South Fla, Rutgers, etc)….they are so KEWL!!!…..” Yes, you will sniff the rarified atmosphere of the upper realms for a year, then likely plummet back down as the recruits you thought liked you decide to go to an established school, who has it’s own network contract.
That said, this season has proven to be MOST entertaining so far, and seems poised to offer more delights and dashed hopes in the next 4 weeks. I for one pray to God I do not die at least until the BSC games are played. Amen.
October 28th, 2007 at 11:57 am
126
Lars says:
I had to look up cleveland steamer
October 28th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
127
OhioDawg says:
It’s great to be a Georgia Bulldog!
October 28th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
128
RT85 says:
I’m not going to church anymore!
October 28th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
129
ga_fan44 says:
hailstate,
don’t get too excited, stick to the MSU boards
UGa’s Hershel Walker — 49 rushing TD’s in 39 games
MSU’s Anthony Dixon — 21 rushing TD’s in 21 games
October 28th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
130
Irwin Fletcher says:
Coastalbuck-
Call me when the Bucks play someone ranked over #25.
OSU obviously have the inside track to the MNC again this year, but you shouldn’t feel too good about it. A werewolf with a chainsaw for a d!ck waits in the wings.
October 28th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
131
Lawrence Ross says:
Insert Nate Longshore in those pictures throwing interceptions, keep the same words, and you have my sentiment exactly.
October 28th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
132
JeremyB says:
This is the flipside of the coin to mgoblog’s kittens, so I do hope all of you tonguebathing it showered equal praise on Brian, and those of you who decried it as immature equally sneered at this.
I, for one, am in love with both.
October 28th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
133
chazz says:
Hey #103
Read the First Ammendment and then go screw yourself.
Just giving it back, clown.
October 28th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
134
Hawkeye State says:
“Wilford Brimley bukakke party”
It’s Wilfred Brimley bukakke party. Der.
October 28th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
135
Mr Pelican Pants says:
I can imagine every Florida fan, after watching that game, having a meltdown the likes of Robert Deniro had in the phone booth in “Goodfellas” when Joe Pesci got whacked, banging the receiver down a hundred times then pushing over the whole damn booth, then standing in the open and just crying uncontrollably….all after hearing the words…”uhh there was a problem, and dats dat!”
October 28th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
136
Mr Pelican Pants says:
I guess just be thankful Florida wasnt undefeated going into this game and this be the game that derailed MNC hopes….everyone knew Floridas defense was suspect and young and to top it off, some starters got hurt and Ga. took advantage of the lack of depth on the Defensive side…If Florida would have swapped games and played Georgia instead of Tenn so early in the year, I am sure Florida would have hung half a hundred on the dogs, timing is everything, and Georgia was more prepared.
October 28th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
137
Pat Dye's Liver says:
That was, without a doubt, one of the best rants I’ve ever read on the innernets. I am still in watery-eyed awe at the sheer velocity of that perfect storm of cursed language.
I award you the Congressional Medal of Profanity, sir, and all the rights, privieleges and dubious honors that so entails.
Oh, and for all our little Ohio Suck Cockeyes, make no mistake, Fuckeyes, Cheatypants McSweatervest and the Suckeyes will choke like Kate Moss on John Holmes,again.
Bank it.
PD’sL
October 28th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
138
Alternate Reality Tourist says:
Come on Orson, don’t sugarcoat it. Tell us how you really feel…
October 28th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
139
bnb614 says:
Call me when the Bucks play someone ranked over #25. – Irving Filcher
Ring ring.
#23 Purdue, Ohio State won 23 -7
#25 Penn State, Ohio State won 37-17
Your team lost to a team ranked #18. How about them apples?
You can criticize OSU all you want if it makes you feel better since your team is out of it and your QB is a crier.
Seriously can some tell Tebow there is no crying in football? Anyone can be the man when his team is winning.
Ohio State schedules home and home games with Texas the last 2 years, and USC the next 2 years, then Miami FL, then Virginia Tech. The Washington game was part of a home and home from the 1990s when they were highly ranked.
Show me some home and home schedules Florida has or will have. If it wasn’t for your Florida State game, the Florida out-of-conference schedule would be a bigger laugh that it is now.
A werewolf with a chainsaw for a d!ck waits in the wings.
How original Fletch. Maybe take some of your computer time and come up with something original. In the meantime, please don’t forget to pay Orson royalties for using his line.
Maybe you can use your time to write a nice explanation how bottom feeders Miss State beating Auburn (who beat Florida) and Kentucky just shows the superiority of the amazing SEC. Everyone in any other conference should just bow down. Ha
October 28th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
140
bnb614 says:
I meant to tell Irving Filcher that we aren’t worried about a werewolf with a chainsaw, since the Les and his balls won’t make it to the MNC.
Oh, and for all our little Ohio Suck Cockeyes, make no mistake, Fuckeyes, Cheatypants McSweatervest and the Suckeyes will choke like Kate Moss on John Holmes,again.
Wow such harsh language. I understand. I would be jealous too if I wasn’t a Buckeye since they are in contention almost every year and your team isn’t.
The Urban Myth runs trickeration and Offensive schemes that don’t last in a conference like the SEC. Opponents figure it out.
So instead of a rant, please just thank the Zooker for loading Florida up and let your team quietly go back to obscurity.
October 28th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
141
Futbawl Fan says:
yo, bnb614…
regarding the Miss State Vs Auburn thing… even good teams have a bad day (see tOSU V FL last year) and Cox threw about 100 interceptions to a good defense in that game. I suspect if MissState had Saben for coach they would be 7-2 with that defense… cream always rises to the top baby
As for Purdue, they are about #30 now and will probably stay there till season’s end. Please don’t talk about how good the team you PLAYED is, because every team was ranked higher some time in the past
As for Tebow crying, well, I have seen him just as exultant over winning as he was sad over losing… I was not ashamed to see either emotion, and I think he should not be ashamed to exhibit either. Keep this in mind…..
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. Jack Handey
If you are not a bigger man, be careful who you laugh at
October 28th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
142
bnb614 says:
Of course good teams have bad games.
And you can take any team and find justification as to why they are good, or why they are overrated, based on their opponents. ESPN has made a cottage industry out of it.
Based on that you would think fans of the Gators would have better things to do than to try to rip on an OSU team that might not have the toughest schedule, but still keeps on winning. TAKING CARE OF YOUR BUSINESS is what gets you in the MNC.
October 28th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
143
IBDawgfan82 says:
“It’s nice to see chucklehead OSU (0-3) and UGA (3-15) fans come together for a little gloatfest. Enjoy for now bitches.
Comment by Irwin Fletcher — October 28, 2007″
Irwin, why the arbitrary time span of 18 years for the Georgia-Florida series? How about these (just as arbitrary) numbers for the series:
-2-2 last 4 years
-Tebow 0-1 against UGA as a starter
-and finally, the LEAST arbitrary number for the series…UGA leads series 47-37. That’s right Gator faithful, its back up to double digits.
October 28th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
144
Dawgy says:
Anyone know where I might find one of those “Keep Mark Richt” teeshirts?
October 28th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
145
Gatorsfor2-5MarkRicht says:
Actually Dawgs Fan-
It’s 46-37. The year ya’ll count (1904) we weren’t playing football yet. Also- please learn how to spell Dogs.
October 28th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
146
Will says:
#143, you say “we weren’t playing football yet” but clearly some group of guys associated with Florida were on the field. If we give you 1904, you should let us disown the last few Goff years because, like the 1904 Florida team, while there were players on the field we weren’t really playing football…
October 28th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
147
bruinhoo says:
thanks for putting into words my feelings regarding my own hell of UCLA-WSU, hell the entire shitstorm that has been Karl Dorrell’s tenure in westwood.
October 28th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
148
Kobbyberr says:
Welcome to the world of the dawg fan amigo.
October 28th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
149
Tampadawg says:
I am glad you Gators are upholding the Spurrier tradition of whining after a loss!
Speaking of traditions it is time that the pendulum swings back in favor of the Dawgs!
October 28th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
150
Meg says:
Mark Richt just admitted that he planned the excessive celebration to show Urban Meyer “what it felt like to be afraid.”
October 29th, 2007 at 2:12 am