BEER AFTER BEER! TWLOCP, 1983 VERSION.
Charlsie wanted us to know how awesome her dad was–after all, Charlsie’s dad is the one in this video clip below scoring a td against Florida in the 1969 version of the Cocktail Party, and that’s something we’ll never do. The video also charitably includes footage of Carlos Alvarez returning the favor for Florida, a nice bit of historical footage of the greatest pre-Spurrier wideout and still standing leader in receptions for a game (15), a season (88), and for a career (176) at Florida.
Yet, as if that weren’t enough…the commercial contains not one, but two Coors Light commercials from 1983. Their motto at the time was “Turn it Loose!,” apparently an exhortation to consume Coors Light until your system began rejecting it in explosive fashion. There’s feathered hair, a mustachioed gay body builder, a jeep, a woman with gym shorts so short you can see lunch descending from her small intestine…it’s what the internet was made for: remembering the past, and then beating it to death with a mallet.
Beer after beer when you’re running around…Coors Light! Your beer for drinking and driving without that pesky drowsiness!
Filed under: Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, Southeastern Conference, back like cooked crack! by Orson Swindle
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Travers W. Paine III
Comment by Charlsie — January 29, 2008 @ 4:19 pm
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It was Lee Greenwood singing that commercial for the 2nd one. Not to be stereotypicalbut that black guy that was fishing held up a stringer of Sheepshead, which is sort of a trash fish….if we catch those fish we usually give them to the brothas on the shore so the fish dont go to waste. They are really too bony and bloody for the white man, but the brothas eat them by the pound, like mullet….
Comment by Mr Pelican Pants — October 27, 2007 @ 12:00 am
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Was that Kenny Rogers singing the second commercial?
Comment by RIP Logan Young — October 26, 2007 @ 6:56 pm
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Was that first commercial (Coors Light) the inspiration of the Schmitt’s Gay ad with Sandler and Farley?
Comment by The Duke of Wazzu — October 26, 2007 @ 4:37 pm
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Party balls are lame and dangerous….ever try doing a “Party Ball Stand”? Doesnt work, it would have been great to convert it into a water bong though…
Comment by Mr Pelican Pants — October 26, 2007 @ 4:17 pm
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The only awesomeness that can be derived from the party ball, clearly, is having a party ball race…like a case race, but you have to drink directly from the spigot.
Comment by Brian — October 26, 2007 @ 3:56 pm
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the eastern water source for coors actually is in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia — so, western Virginia, not West Virginia.
And I lived in Golden. There was an urban myth about a tap running straight from the brewery under Washington Ave to this old dingy hole in the wall bar. And every year some dumbass would go in and ask if it was true. I was that dumbass one year.
Also, when you tour Coors, the tasting room has all sorts of shit on the walls, including all the company’s patents. Now you’d think they’d pay homage to shit like more efficient manufacturing or a process for lightening beer or whatever, but no, they had shit up there like “METHOD FOR MAKING A GLASS BEER BOTTLE THAT LOOKS LIKE A BASEBALL BAT.” And I’m sure the goddamn party ball and the faggoty ice chest thing were there too.
Comment by tacobellmanager — October 26, 2007 @ 2:36 pm
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When Coors was brewed here in Memphis, the water from the city water system was supposedly cleaner than the water from the cold, pure Rocky mountain streams in the commercials. Go figure.
Comment by Jon — October 26, 2007 @ 2:03 pm
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I’m proud to have sparked such a lively beer discussion. I love beer. Beer after beer.
Go Dawgs! Long Live the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party!
Comment by Charlsie — October 26, 2007 @ 1:57 pm
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PJ- Usable water source in West Viginia? Try and get THAT bit of knowledge out of your head the next time you pick up a Silver Bullet.
Comment by mormon T. Suxorz — October 26, 2007 @ 1:41 pm
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brian,
not that this makes the party ball any less shitty, but its evolution did include it eventually coming with a plastic bag type item that in turn could line its own box and hold ice to create a cooler for the party ball. gay i know.
Comment by gerry dorsey — October 26, 2007 @ 1:25 pm
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This has been informational, and entertaining for me. I look forward to hearing more stories of this genre throughout the day. I will say that I have seen the beer ball once, and I wasn’t quite sure WTF the purpose of it was, it looked weird. I think it was at a store in Boston that I saw it. It def. is a novelty beer dispensing unit, much like the Heineken mini keg they advertise now. Sorta dumb because its in a plastic ball, so it doesnt likely keep the beer cold long if its not iced down. I like bottles the best for all around deliciousness and ease.
Comment by Brian — October 26, 2007 @ 12:21 pm
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Tricky Dick -
Yes it is that gawwd awful disc at Trade & Tryon, back when Bank of America was still the Nations Cutest Nicest Bank, aka NCNB. And it is still there. Charlotte is the home of the WORST public art in the world.
For the record, I think Coors went national around 1980 or so.
BTW, Carlos Alvarez was THE MAN.
Comment by yoyofutbawl — October 26, 2007 @ 12:05 pm
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OK kids, Grampaw’s here with your history lessons:
The party ball dates back to the 70s. Olympia was the first brand-name beer that I remember using it.
Coors was only available in the West because that was as far as the company could be sure the stuff was kept cold “for freshness”. Around the turn of the 80s, the company found a usable water source in West Virginia and Coors was able to expand into the East. (Trivia: Michiganders skiing the Rockies used to trade Stroh’s for Coors at parity. The illegal part about SATB’s ride was not so much the beer itself, as the *tax* on the beer.)
Pull-tabs went out during the 70s, as part of an anti-litter campaign. I don’t remembe cuts from the pull-tabs unless you stepped on them. Pull-tab cans were great for Beer Hunter because the spray could be directed.
I’m not sure why nobody else seems to have picked up on the two-button can (small button to release the pressure, then the big one for drinking), but I vaguely recall that things got a bit messy if you tilted the can too much. Great for pouring into a glass, not so great when you’re tailgating. I also recall a few cuts from those, because you were shoving your thumb into the second opening.
Proud beer drinker since 1976.
Comment by PJ from NU in SF — October 26, 2007 @ 11:50 am
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Greatest Coors Lite commercial ever!
Coors started coming east sometime in the early 80’s because I remember everyone rushing out to buy it when I was in high school. Uh, did I say high school, I meant Jr. high… er, middle school… Oh who am I kidding? Class of ‘83.
Gerry Dorsey - I have done the exact same thing with a party ball, cutting the top off with a pocket knife to create a beer well. In fact, it was I who saved a tailgate with my fast thinking (meaning I was not as drunk as everyone else yet).
And pull tabs? I think I still have the remnants of a chain made during spring break PCB, baby!
Comment by WDamnE — October 26, 2007 @ 11:25 am
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Gurn, saw those on a Braniff flight from Louisiana to Aspen via Denver, for a ski trip. You pushed one raised button like area of the lid, then the other and the can somehow opened. I was mesmerized.
Comment by Unhappy Monkey — October 26, 2007 @ 11:17 am
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Plus when the cops came to the cul-d-sac where we were drinking you could conceivably carry the half finished party ball into the woods, try that with a keg tough guy.
I, like Matt Stafford and all UGA students and graduates, am able to carry kegs above my head for an entire weekend.
Comment by Rival — October 26, 2007 @ 11:14 am
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Lo these many years ago, as a member of the Pride of the Sunshine, we had access to an equipment room under the stands where we would store our brand new Conn Sousaphones that were too nice to risk taking into the stands. We also stored many a Party Ball there, which is the perfect size for a tuba section and a few flag corp girls to have a good party during the 3rd quarter.
Not like we missed anything, we were on probation and surely running Emmitt until his tongue hung out.
Comment by Kerwin4two — October 26, 2007 @ 11:13 am
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East Bound and Down, loaded up and truckin…..
Was Coors Beer really that great that it was outlawed East of the Rockies…? and there had to be a movie where a Souped Up T/A had to run intereference?
I only take my hat off for one thing and one thing only…….Beer tabs were good for simply linking them together in a chain to track how much damage your body and brain had taken over a course of a football season…..my dad and his friends literrally had miles of chains from beers that were consumed throughout the college and pro football season…..sad to say many of them were from Schlitz and Pabst Blue Ribbon before Coors came along….
Comment by Mr Pelican Pants — October 26, 2007 @ 11:12 am
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The Party Ball was also, if memory serves, an epic rip-off. It contained somewhere around 1/3 of a keg of beer, but it was priced only a few bucks less than a full keg.
The novelty of it wore off really quick once you looked at your wallet at the end of the night…
Comment by Papa Lou BSU — October 26, 2007 @ 11:09 am
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>>Yes, pull tabs: beer with razor blade flesh wounds! <<
Okay, I’m REALLY dating myself now, but who remembers the original Coors uber gimmick: Cans not with pull tabs, but with two circular push-down tabs, one for drinking out of, the other for the “vent” effect like a gas can?
I wasn’t old enough to drink then, but it’s a vivid cultural memory.
Comment by Gurn — October 26, 2007 @ 10:57 am
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Hey, we got one of those big spinning gold discs here in Charlotte yo.
Comment by SmoothJimmyApollo — October 26, 2007 @ 10:45 am