INTRODUCING AMBASSADOR CROWDER

I can tell you this from experience: while Mr. Crowder may not know how to locate countries or major cities on a map, he more than compensates for his lack of geographic knowledge with his excellent skills in hand rolling (and smoking) marijuana cigars

“I don’t know what nothing is.”

There’s no reason to be ashamed of this. It took Alex the Parrot a long time to understand the concept of zero.

‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love that state…God bless the Florid-a.

Who needs geography? Especially in Florida.
All a college football player needs to know, especially a defensive one is: Directions to the bar, directions to the next booty call, and how to get back to the dorm without getting arrested or tasered while trying to follow above directions. On the field, the only thing he needs to know is: Kill the man with the ball that is geographically in front of you. Do not let anyone from the other side of the ball into your 180 degree hemisphere, and leave all the sissy booklearnin’ to the Lambda Lambda Lambda’s that work in the front office. We pay you millions of dollars not to THINK, just hit…and hit again….

Does he find Florida by knowing it looks like a….. well, make your own phallic joke.

Just think, if Crowder went to Ball State, he would have received free geography books so he could not learn where London is.

The University of America’s Wang: Hot! Hot! Hot!

an honest to god quote has not made me laugh that hard in a while. especially the london fletcher association with the city and england….AND the assumption that there is not a single black person from there. greatness.

skeet skeet skeet?

Just wow. I wish I was gooder at the football.

I guess one of the perks of having your own blog is being able to preimptively rip your alma mater when some piece of embarrasing news like this comes out- at least he can read the words on the map, thats more than Auburn alums can say about their illiterate band of players

Seal, Lennox Lewis, and the lead singer of Bloc Party would like a word with Mr. Crowder…

London Fletcher, of course, a proud alumnus of Division III John Carroll University, where he seems to have had a quite different academic career than Mr. Crowder.

Marge (who becomes a substitute teacher) complains to Homer “It took the children 40 minutes to locate Canada on the map.” and Homer responds “Marge, anyone could miss Canada. All tucked away down there.”

miss south carolina would like a word with mr. crowder as well.

I personally believe that Channing Crowder is unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, ah, education like such as in South Africa, and the Iraq, and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., or should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for our children.

/Miss Teen South Carolina

In his defense, his job requires repeated blows to the head. I’m amazed that Emmit Smith can form complete sentences after all these years.

well, if he don’t know nothing, he knows everything. maybe he just can’t locate london on a metaphysical level.

he invented the “escape goat”

@ #15

do you watch espn on sundays??? emmitt smith CANNOT form complete sentences

It took 13 replies before someone referenced Miss South Carolina. What a difference a month makes.

1. - Doing my best to not take the bait. I think everyone is sick of the threadjacks.

Regarding Mr. Crowder: Living in the Atlanta area (epicenter of Hope Scholarship fueled grade inflation) I am in total SHOCK at the idea of someone such as him receiving a diploma here.

1. - You stole my thunder!!! Except I was going to say, see she’s right! No maps!

dude. GEO2200 with that british bloke was HARD. worst elective ever. i thought it was going to be naming state capitals but it was all like… wind currents and volcanic shit. if channing took that course i can understand these comments completley. he also be from the ’phretta…. i think.

Some of you need to read the article.

Could anyone point us in the direction of his Facebook? I can only imagine the glorious tales of wine, women, and fuck lions.

He does have a damned British sounding name though.

#22: He almost comes across like Shaq, just goofing with reporters.

Or Clinton Portis.

This guy definitely wasn’t serious.

Upon further review, if the following comment has any validity, then I believe Orson needs to contact Crowder to be his NFL correspondent.

“By CK

October 24, 2007 8:59 PM | Link to this

Dude, seriously…he’s having some fun with you guys. That’s Channing. He cracks his own jokes that only he gets to laugh at.

Here are some facts about Channing. He scored a 30 on the wonderlic. He was a member of the National Honors Society in college. He had a validated 3.5 GPA at University of Florida, and I believe he graduated early.

Seriously, he was making fun of you guys."

Ironical that he used “stereotype” in the correct context in the same interview…

Despite inventing English, those Brits sure can’t speak it very well.

Yes, Channing Crowder was pranking the media, and they bought it. I guess this is the modern equivalent of “Let’s tell everyone Paul is dead”.

The best thing London has to offer is Guy Ritchie and both of his films-“Snatch” and “Lock stock and two Smoking Barrels” ya bunch of damn bloody Pikers…..

I googled his wonderlic and it is a 30. Channing 1 media 0.

#24, m
Was that the course where one of the assignments was the book on the Amazon River the British Prof authored? If so, I took that elective too. Balls hard, but a fantastic class. Was it maybe Geography of World Societies?

Anywho, Channing Crowder thinks this blog should find some UGA hate on the map, ASAP. It’s cheap Coke Orgy time!

Channing Crowder you snake in the grass.

#36

Now Orson and the bunch have done good not bringing up the World’s Largest “Name Redacted” party YET! I’m sure it’s coming and it will be well deserved considering the track record. I have already mentally prepared myself for the anal raping that I’m afraid will probably happen again. It just depends on which Georgia team shows up. Hopefully not the same one that took the trip to Knoxville. Especially after the ass-whooping that Alabama gave fat-fulmer!

Nice Simpsons reference. McBane would be proud.

24, 36: The class was Physical Geo I think, I took it too. Definitely way harder than I thought it would be, but not a bad class.

The prof I was referring to was Nigel Smith. I’d recommend his class(es) to any current UF students. Difficult but enjoyable, like sex with Ed Orgeron.

Nick Saban would be proud of Mr Crowder’s handling of the press. And have time to thank him.

Oh lawdy, did I actually have something nice to say about Satan? Forgive me, jebus.

In addition to his Wonderlic score, Crowder is highly versed on Man’s Food and Dinosaurs.

Age of the Dinosaurs ruled. It completely prepared me for Law School.

Tiger @ 30,

In London myself at the moment and about to head out to the Mirabelle for dinner. Will seek out Mr. Crowder and attemp to verify his elaborate access to and success with fancy book learnin. Will report.

Waitaminute!

Seal is black?!

oh jesus. how many british professors are in our geography department? it was this dashing brit who taught the elective i took http://www.geog.ufl.edu/. awful. no naming state capitals. no blank maps of africa to fill in on exams. ooh but a real gem of uf geo department is abe goldman. and thats for real. he should be the chair. at least hes AMERICAN!!!11

What exactly is a “validated” GPA of 3.5? One where the AA has run their eyes over the original grade report? One in an actual academic major, as opposed to the recreational mgmt? Just wondering…

No way this guy was serious. Have you read his quotes about who would play him in a movie? They are funny as hell.

He’s KIDDING, you fools. You’re reading a lampooning type website, yet you can’t tell when someone is kidding?

This post reminds me of a class at UF GEO 1000, or Geography of a Changing World. It’s grading scale was 87.5-100 being an A and had around 4 or 5 multiple choice “exams” during the semester. I never went to class, and one afternoon thought to myself, “maybe I should attend class, I think an exam is coming up.” Wouldn’t you know it, an exam was scheduled that day. I had to borrow some chick’s pencil. I still managed an A, as a representative questions was…….

This Asian country is known for Communism

A) Japan
B) Mexico
C) Brazil
D) USSR

I thought to myself, the USSR no longer exists, and I know Japan was never commie, so I’m gonna roll the dice and pick D anyway.

Crowder emailed me and wanted everyone to know that his Dinosaurs class wasn’t validated. Instead, he took Flying Disc Sports for credit that semester.

Seriously, UF. At least drownproofing is something useful to learn.

funny. I thought everyone would have caught on when he threw out the London Fletcher reference….

Which one of these douchebags is Crowder?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=g_aPGI5dUeo