UGA’S BYE WEEK WORKOUT
Stop already. You post pics someone has already posted on the internet for all to see, and suddenly people are like, “WAAAA!!! Let kids have fun,” and “WAAAAAA!!! Those pictures aren’t really public because they’re on facebook,” and “WAAAAAAA!!! I was drugged and tied up for those and you’ve just compromised my jury trial.”
So call the WAAAAAAAAmbulance and take it to somewhere other than Swindle General, where our specialty is treating boredom, something Matthew Stafford never seems to suffer from in Athens, Georgia. Our crack spies bring us these pictures from Georgia’s bye week, where Stafford and running back Knowshon Moreno spent the time supermanning ho’s and decorating bellies with what appears to be “a frosting gun,” according to our analysts.

It’s good to see that Ozzy Osbourne is out there communing with the young people, staying limber and keeping up with the trends and whatnot.

In between starts, Matthew Stafford stays sharp by diagramming plays on women’s bellies with cake frosting. Or performs psychic surgery on their innards with the help of his mentalist assistant, Dr. Knowshon Moreno of the Leyte Regional School of Spiritual Medicine and HVAC Repair.

The floor flooded with awesome, party participants were forced to escape to the countertops. Moreno, in case you can’t see, has the finest badonkadonk in the room. And hey! This picture is sponsored by Jim Beam!









1
Techie says:
Are you sure this wasn’t Exam Week? Gotta work hard for those brutal Turf Management and Liberal Arts finals
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:21 am
2
Techie says:
Are you sure this wasn’t Exam Week? Gotta work hard for those brutal Turf Management and Liberal Arts mid-terms
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:21 am
3
Holly says:
Turf Management is no joke, son. *hitches up pants, spits*
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:22 am
4
Dash says:
Of course it is sponsored by Jim Beam. Athens swims in J.B. And we wouldnt have it any other way. Stafford may be an ugly Texan, but I guarantee he knows his way around the ladies more than Tebow, who grew up hitting on his little sister in homeschool.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:23 am
5
gerry dorsey says:
no thighsman for these two clowns. all the poontang uga has to offer and they score these scabs???
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:24 am
6
JND says:
^Looks like this Tech Turd^ wasn’t sure how to spell finals so he went with mid-terms!
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:25 am
7
Techie says:
Comments acting weird again. Server must be drunk.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:25 am
8
Raider Red says:
Points deducted for no visible bra/panty shots or girl/girl kissing. Matthew and Knowshon (is that a real name?) need to bring their A game, which they left at the Peach Bowl last year.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:26 am
9
TIGERinATL says:
Dammit Orson! Can you please find somewhere else to host your pictures, because for most (all on this post) of them I get the fucking red “X”. Guessing the office doesn’t like wherever you are tagging them from.
Guess they expect some sort of production out of me or something. Don’t they realize this is football season?
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:27 am
10
VolNavy says:
Orson, when are you giving you take on this.
http://deadspin.com/sports/young-people-in-love/one-way-to-sustain-college-football-interest-313529.php
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:31 am
11
Stockman says:
Certainly that’s not the best bunda at UGA.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:32 am
12
Gentleman Masher says:
Let’s just hope this is a clear sign of UGA’s gameplan on Saturday – equal doses of Moreno and Stafford.
Minus what appears to be a Zubaz inspired do-rag on Moreno, of course…
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:36 am
13
Sarah says:
I’m the sharer of the pictures…. shhhh. And those girls do not go to UGA, but they go to Ole Miss and I expected more from Oxford, MS really.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:37 am
14
Biggus Rickus says:
At least they aren’t cuddling.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:38 am
15
Bobby Decatur says:
I’ll take a gritty Texas kid over a rainbow-shitting missionary every time.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:38 am
16
Coop says:
Yeah, definitely not the best UGa has to offer. Stafford has really disappointed me in the women department. Were I him, I would be going a different route with the females, the route most of us on here went.. He would be far more successful, is all.
And, for my SC brethren, anyone else notice the Mother Fletcher’s t-shirt on one of the girls?
I think I bought one from the Bowery during my junior or senior year’s of high school during Senior Week.
Obviously not my finest hour.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:50 am
17
Rival says:
Moreno is simply checking the ceiling for its structural integrity and adherence to the fire code.
“Yep. Sprinkler head in the right place.”
And Stafford is diagramming the lower gastrointestinal tract on his friend’s stomach. He’s a biology major, right?
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:58 am
18
Orson Swindle says:
I’ll take a gritty Texas kid over a rainbow-shitting missionary every time.
We disagree, but that is inspired prose.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:01 am
19
mastergoober says:
In Poland they tell Auburn jokes.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:01 am
20
Dawg 05 says:
Knowshon doesn’t run stadiums, he runs countertops.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:05 am
21
BDoc says:
Better keep the sticker on the hat because you never know when you’ll have to return it.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:05 am
22
ALGator says:
I think they picked their marks rather well: That chick on the right in pic #1 looks like she’s about to suck the top off of Moreno’s ding-dong any minute.
Cut the crap and get it on… ahh.. college…………
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:06 am
23
Gentleman Masher says:
The smile/stare on the blonde girl in the first picture appears to be the result of either:
A) Her taking the first steps on the road to a restraining order.
or
B) Her deciding that she is going to eat SEC Running Back for dinner.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:07 am
24
ALGator says:
Masher: Damn your soul.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:09 am
25
Doug says:
Re #7:
“Comments acting weird again. Server must be drunk.” Yeah. Tell me another one, nerd. You mean you haven’t gotten to the “Only Push The ‘Submit’ Button Once” unit in Computer Science 101 yet?
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:10 am
26
PW says:
Looks to me like she saw some of that cake frosting on his hat.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:12 am
27
Edsall is God says:
I am so glad facebook didn’t exist 5 years ago.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:13 am
28
KYbourbondrinker says:
Jim Beam would stop making bourbon if it knew these chingy-listening chumps were partaking. 10 bucks says Stafford has never chugged a pint of 7-yr and then chased it with a pint of Makers. Thats just how we do it in the Bluegrass
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:14 am
29
ya lawya says:
While the Uptown Lounge may be gone, it appears that dancing on the bar at 2am lives on – and Knowshon is even going to throw a shirt out to the crowd! If the Big Spoon can have that much focus after what looks like 2/3 of a handle of JB, Florida might have themselves a problem on Saturday – wtf am I talking about, Florida has only had a problem 4 times in the Big Spoon’s life.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:14 am
30
HenryJames says:
Stafford may not be a good qb, but he can hit a Sigma Chi in the back of the head with a Heineken bottle from 40 yards.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:15 am
31
GainesvilleRamblings says:
27- Yeah, me too. From the sheer amount of Coke Orgy stories I’ve heard about Rex Grossman floating around Gainesville, the pictures of his time with the Gators would have been epic/disastrous.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:27 am
32
THEBIGFISH says:
“I’ll take a gritty Texas kid over a rainbow-shitting missionary every time.”
Why because the gritty Texas kid is already known for homo-eroticism?
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:29 am
33
DiamondM says:
You said it Edsall — well, except make that 15 years ago for me.
And when are college athletes going to learn that they need to hire security to confiscate all cameras and cell phones when they go to parties? Surely some enterprising smart college student can come up with a “cell phone check” service that can be hired with all that money they give college athletes to buy books.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:29 am
34
Techie says:
Umm, no. I keep getting the Wordpress non-responsive error, but thanks for your concern.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:39 am
35
Jmac says:
Well, at least Stafford ain’t spooning anybody.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:50 am
36
sb says:
#15, you’re just jealous he’s not your rainbow-shitting missionary…and, by the way, we’re saved.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:52 am
37
Downtown_Danny_Hunt says:
Gimme a Big Spoon and keep your Tebag
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:16 am
38
Jorgé the Bass Player says:
Picture #2-Bobbing for tampon strings?
The Ozzy chick was ready for some black cock.
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:18 am
39
Brandon Graham says:
What is wrong with college kids having a good time? Is this unusal for college kids?
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:18 am
40
Rival says:
#35
That happened later.
Stafford spoons with everyone he meets.
I thought it’s how Texans say, “Nice to meet you.”
No?
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:30 am
41
Out of Conference says:
Coop #16 – I didn’t recognize the shirt. My Mother Fletecher’s shirt is a different style. I got it free there during Black Biker week about 10 years ago. A buddy of mine was in rare form that weekend… walking out of MF’s, he walked up to 2 cops and suggested they take a sobriety test because they were walking funny. My buddy was in cuffs in about 3 seconds flat and charged with drunk/disorderly. I was doing my damnest to stop laughing long enough so the cop could tell me when we could pick him from jail. I forgot to warn my friend that you don’t even make eye contact with MB cops, much less make fun of them, unless you want to get thrown in the pokey.
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:36 am
42
Touchdown74 says:
Is that really white “frosting” or is that another term for baby gravy that I am unaware of?
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:38 am
43
Coop says:
#40 – Yep, I have heard that that the SC Board of Law Examiners doesn’t require their applicants to disclose any arrests if they occurred in Myrtle Beach.
An exaggeration, certainly, but anything that has “drunk and disorderly” and “Myrtle Beach” in the same sentence is certainly met with a wink, nod, and smile.
As for the MF t-shirt, it is the girl in the yellow.
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:45 am
44
Dawg 05 says:
If Facebook were only around for the Quincy Carter era…
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:57 am
45
skinnyphatman says:
Allow me to take you into the mind of the blond chick in pic # 1.
Oh, my god, I am gonna so get with…
Nos…
Show….
Knowsoon…
Kosohn…
This football player! Lets try out that move I heard about in the ADpi shower last week. (action starts below the picture, and actually continuing while pic snapped). Wonder if he likes it…
KM: “Yeah baby double it up.”
YESSSS he likes it, smile and fawn!
Double Thighsman points for action photos?
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:02 pm
46
gopherdroppings says:
Chunky girls in sweatpants at a party? Is this the legendary Southern beauty I’ve heard so much about?
Even John Stocco’s old girls in Madison had the class to throw on some low rise jeans complete with a Leinies-fed muffin top for a night with the team…
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:02 pm
47
JoesDeliGatorTail says:
#31- Actually there are some pictures of Rexy floating around the internets. He would have lion fucked if facebook would have around in 2000-2001.
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:02 pm
48
Orson Swindle says:
JoesDeli–
It would have been subscription only, and it would look like old Max Hardcore movies.
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:30 pm
49
baconboy says:
Gritty Texas kid?? You’ve got to be kidding! He’s from Highland Park!! HP is the richest part of Dallas, where most of the homes start at $1 million. There are more spoiled rich kids per square mile here than just about anywhere in the country. Everything about Stafford screams dilettante to me.
Also, when I worked at UF ten years ago, the CEO of Jim Beam was a Gator alumnus who lived in Chicago, so we actually did have some alumni events that were officially sponsored by Jim Beam — and he brought the good stuff. He told me that when he received one of those honorary doctorates (or maybe it was some other kind of alumni award) they hand out graduation, he got a standing ovation from the students when they announced what he did.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:09 pm
50
Tim says:
My favorite is the kid in the background of the last picture with a big smile on his face, who looks like he’s leaping to join the fun. If only the stupid leg (with the dumpy shorts, wtf?) wasn’t in the way, that would be a good one for future photoshops.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:20 pm
51
Mr Pelican Pants says:
What is it with black dudes and fat white chicks?
Please Knowshown,Knobsheen,Knoshgosh, take all the fat chicks you want. There are plenty in Ga. Do not return them. Call your friends. Most fat chicks are very grateful, especially when their drunk……….just dont drink too much Mad Dog 40/40 and wind up naked in a shower curtain covered in baby oil besides a bathtub next to two random fat chicks that you dont remember ever seeing ….I’m just saying…..
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:33 pm
52
Out of Conference says:
Damn, Mr. Pelican Pants. That’s a pretty specific hypothetical situation and you and little Mr. PP might have found yourselves in.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:00 pm
53
Coop says:
#45 – If either one of those girls were of the sororstitute variety at UGa, then I am a body double for Shaquille O’Neal.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:05 pm
54
reddawg says:
Rumor has it MS & KM were in Oxford over the weekend.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:41 pm
55
PeterPumpkinhead says:
*looking on in shock that it’s taken this long to Threadjack this one*
Hey look Holly’s back… I guess she had to go get one of her tits back from Tebow so she could give it to JP.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:44 pm
56
Mr. Wrong says:
I can vouch first-hand for the cuff-happy tendencies of the Myrtle Beach PD. I also once saw them slam the head of a belligerent, drunk biker with the back door of their cruiser. Three times.
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:02 pm
57
Chg says:
This should finally settle the debate over whether or not Stafford has the decision making ability to win in the SEC. It’s a sad state of affairs when regular joes can look on the starting quarterback’s Athens hookups with scorn.
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:41 pm
58
Doug says:
Wow. So Staff and Knowshon have already twisted out Georgia’s entire female student body (and Auburn’s, evidently) and have now been forced to venture as far afield as Ole Miss to find unspoiled coeds to lay down by the fi-yah?
I don’t care whose team you’re a fan of — whether you love the Dawgs or hate ‘em, you gotta admit, that is harder than hard-core.
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:41 pm
59
Sarah says:
I’m glad I snagged those pics off Facebook when I did cause they’ve been untagged or have disappeared from his profile. A shame really, they speak to his high character, I’m glad they are of course saved here for posterity.
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:11 pm
60
JoesDeliGatorTail says:
#48. Orson, isnt he in jail? And if so can we start a petition to free him?
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:17 pm
61
WHOyouFUCKwith says:
Sarah, you are a cunt. I bet you are a fat hoe that masterbates to this shit. I would love to meet a loser like you.
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:27 pm
62
eternal hammjamm says:
Te-ho will never take a picture this cool.
Thats how we jam in Athens, get used to it….
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:45 pm
63
Sarah says:
YES! HATE! I can never get called a cunt anonymously on the internet enough! Thank you.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:57 pm
64
911doc says:
when your gators whip the crap out of us this weekend please, please, drive the dagger deep, and make it quick. right under the xiphoid it goes, angle toward the left shoulder and towards the back a bit. there………………….
October 24th, 2007 at 1:31 am
65
Uga Alum says:
I used to see Stafford at Boars Head and other Athens Bars last year when I was a student. He was always really sloppy looking usually accompanied by a sloppier girl. He was usually wearing a hoddy or a stained polo shirt with a really stretched collar. As seen in the pictures he rarely shaves and he is never with out his new era. I am all for a partying QB like Joe Namath, but he should do it with class like Eli Manning or Brodie Croyle. I bet Eli always looked good before pounding Kappas or KDs. I don’t think Stafford gets good ass anyway, all the good ass got worn out by Danny Ware last year.
October 24th, 2007 at 8:07 am
66
Trackdawg says:
When Tebow sees those pictures he’s going to scream “IMPURE! IMPURE!” like Jimmy MacElroy in Blades of Glory
October 24th, 2007 at 10:20 am
67
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Tebow cant scream Impure after he marries that Phillipino Hooker he’s been dating since he was 14.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:04 am
68
IBDawgfan82 says:
These pictures have really shaken my faith in humanity, and it in no way involves any disappointment in Knowshon and Stafford (although I am disappointed I didn’t see some hotter girls in the picture). No, what really bothers me is that someone can actually believe taking pictures (and then posting them on the internet) of Stafford and Moreno playing with a frosting gun at some hag’s house actually warrants the time involved in doing so. Who cares? There’s nothing going on here! Next we will see pics of Stafford shopping at the mall, and then I suppose the next week someone will have some photos of him taking a shit. Get a grip people. This is the biggest non-story I’ve ever seen.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:05 am
69
George P. Burdell says:
IBDawgfan82 – Not saying you’re wrong. But the 82 prolly gives it away why you don’t get it. Kids are followers. They are only hanging out where all the other kids are. In your day you prolly used to do stupid shit like hang out at a movie theater or cruise a mall. Today’s kids hang out still, but its online. People get famous being online. People meet mates online. Its a different world.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:59 am
70
BarkingDawg says:
Damn….pretty good point!
Question though…how are people sure this was from the bye week and not just over the summer or some shit??
Damn Staff…chicks could have been hotter..lol
October 24th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
71
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Back when I was in Tuscaloosa back in the heyday=89-92, cameras werent allowed at parties with the players….the stories were so much better, kinda like a book is always better than the movie….lemme tell ya, and plus with no camera there is always plausible deniability about getting with a skank ho….Jay Barker was our version of Tim Tebow, except Tebow can actually run and throw a ball…..to a receiver and not the turf…(ie. Natl Championship molesting of Miami) plus Tebow can actually heal himself, his shoulder is not hurt anymore………..amen
October 24th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
72
Trackdawg says:
If we beat the fightin tebows on Saturday I can just hear Larry Munson, “My god…look at the frosting falling from the sky…..look at the frosting falling from the sky!!!”
October 24th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
73
IBDawgfan82 says:
Burdell, the 82 was a random number I picked when I first got on alliance sports, before it was rivals, in like 99. IBDawgfan82 is my handle on there. I was actually born in 81. So I get what you’re saying, and I know how it is now. I still just think it’s a tremendous non-story though. Maybe next week this super ninja paparazzi goon from the party can stalk these guys some more and post pictures of Stafford going through the cafeteria line, nab a pic of him getting some cake, speculate he’s off his diet structured by Ron Courson, and then Auburn fans can speculate yet again that he’s fat. I know I’m a college football fanatic, but I’ve also accepted the fact that many other college fans are certifiably insane. The fact that anyone cares that these guys broke out a frosting gun at some skanks apartment shows just how much of a problem the internet has become in being an enabler for fanatics.
October 24th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
74
mtngator says:
What I always heard from dawg fans about rex was that he did x all the time, even during the games.
October 26th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
75
codi says:
I am a student in Athens Ga, and if any of you dumbasses have ever been to a college town, this is what a lot the students do. Moreno and Stafford are students before they are football players, they go to class just like anyone else. so, unless you have been to college, and understand what the college life is like then get off their backs.
September 21st, 2008 at 4:18 pm
76
CB says:
@75:
ARP! LATE TO THE PARTY! ARP!
January 7th, 2009 at 8:56 pm