CURIOUS INDEX, 10/16/07

No jokes about Kentucky taking fifty grand out of their dental fund to pay the SEC fine!

The SEC… “So Eccentric Conference”

At the risk of nit-picking, while the Times is certainly the nation’s most self-important newspaper, I believe both the Wall Street Journal and USA Today have larger national circulation.

maybe he meant largest in terms of sheer mass

USA Today’s success proves what I’ve always said: People love graphs. Which is why I’m working on a coffee table book entitled “The Big Book of Graphs”. I plan to build an army of robots with the billions I’ll rake in.

Don’t most doomsday-ers think that 2012 is supposed to be the end of the world? Perhaps Houston will in fact coach Arkansas as it descends into the fiery abyss as we all expected.

Plus, USA Today has pretty color headings on all their section.

Makes it easy for us folk who cain’t read to find them funny pages.

Also, the little info graphics on the front page are very informative:

“What pant size are most Americans wearing?
A. 44
B. 39
C. XXVML
D. Elastic”

or surface area

that’s big shit-talking from a linebacker who only has 14 tackles through 6 games

There’s a law in physics that no matter the momentum in one direction, say straight forward, has no effect on another force, say crossways, no matter their respective strengths. My physics professor used the example of a jet flying at hundreds of miles an hour still being blown off course by a wind.

I like the example of that Fotu hit better. One second, the runner is moving straight ahead. Next instant, he is being plowed into the ground at a 90 degree vector to his left.

Regardless, the good news is that I just put my name on the waiting list for a six-pack of those robot beer cans.

That quote is yesterday’s news to Lou Holtz.

Kentucky spends $50,000 on unauthorized celebration… and makes $750,000 on income from Kentucky related fan-wear being purchased… not a bad trade in my book

For some reason I envision USF as Matt Grothe and an entire team of Tyrones.

I hope Kentucky enjoyed it.

Because that $50,000 is a down payment on future sorrow that will come from the 2 or more losses that UK will suffer between now and the end of the year.

FLA
@ UGA
possibly TN

Just thinking they are due for a letdown after the big OT win.

I can’t wait til there are 47 different head coach openings and my Hogs wind up with the secondary coach from Wofford or Carson-Newman.

Why couldn’t he have just taken the damn Nebraska job three years ago?

#9

I’m not sure where you get 14 tackles, he’s got 50 tackles in 6 games (4.5 TFL, no sacks, no ints). He doesn’t lead the team in tackles, but that’s still not bad. For comparison, Laurinaitis has 52 tackles (4.5 TFL, 3 sacks, 2 ints), Steltz has 49 tackles (4 TFL, 1 sack, 4 ints), but Connor has 70 tackles (10 TFL, 5 sacks, no ints), and Sean Lee has a massive 75 tackles (7 TFL, 3 sacks, no ints). McKenzie is having a decent year, but I think he’s taking too much credit for the defense’s performance this year.

1. - Believe that book was called Freakonomics.

1. - Strange as it sounds, UK is a much better team than UGA and UT are at the moment.

UF, UK and SC look pretty even to me right now.

I was using this:
http://scoreboards.aol.com/football/ncaaf/player/226030/player.aspx

but hey, if I’m wrong, I’m wrong

A friend of mine was at the UK game. ABC (or whoever broadcast it) took their cameras off the goal posts w/a minute left to go in regulation. They knew what might be coming!

And in addition to the fine, UK will have to pay to replace parts of the field that were removed with keys, credit cards or any other sharp object (insert obligatory hillbilly joke here) near at hand.

@20

Maybe that’s why AOL let 2,000 people go yesterday.

#20

That’s weird. I pulled all the stats for the players directly from their respective program’s official stat log (which may or may not be exaggerated, obviously).

I am new to this SEC fining issue. I attended the UF v. Auburn debacle and saw it for the first time. There was a freaking army of Po-Po lining the perimeter of the field. WTF!!! Then, it was explained to me, at which time I acknowledged how stupid this was to me. Not to mention, it would be the perfect time to rob a bank in Title-town. Hell, all the law enforcement is either in the stadium or directing the traffic around the campus. Let them celebrate, I say. Rise up against the man, refuse to be oppressed my sports obsessed brethren (w/ clutched fist raised defiantly in the air)…

my link also has his # wrong.

Proceed with the shit-talking, Tyrone.

Given their slide on the hard wood is Kentucky in danger of becoming a football school? And if this happens, can we just go ahead and drop men’s basketball as a sport in the SEC?

Gainesville is over the top on all matters of ‘law enforcement’. It’s like Blackwater Fantasy Camp to security on Saturdays in the fall. At least a few times in the ‘90s 1-3 people would jump the wall and hilarity* would ensue. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re now training K-9s to use Tazers in G-ville.

• beatings as described by Mr. Swindle.

That $50K is just to replace the Confederate coinage the revelers found in mason jars buried at the base of the goal posts.

1. I think one of Uga’s biggest problems is the Down Syndrome guy trick or treating in the Jeff Bowden mask……Defensive Coordinator Willie Martinez…..

$50,000 has got to be cheaper than how much it would cost to pay enough “security” to stop fans from rushing the field. Plus the university doesn’t come off looking like fun-stomping jerks this way, too.

If you want to get a big teeth shattering hello from a Tongan, be sure to say “hey, mata usi’” Be sure to put your chin out there for extra effect.

As for USA Today,

In addition to the graphs and pretty colors, its circulation number has to be inflated thanks to all the hotels in the US providing them to every room.

USA Today is proof positive that this nation’s stint as king of the hill is coming to a close.

#32

…says the guy who spends hours a day commenting on a college football blog

Hey #23 – we expect to win, so no field storming necessary. That’s for teams that normally lose.

Touchy subject, RIP Logan Young? I didn’t realize Al Neuharth commented on blogs.

I spend minutes a day commenting on blogs, not hours – and I’m getting paid the whole time. What a country!

“from the east coast….to the west coast…..down the dixie highway….back hoooommmme…..THIS IS OUR COUNTRY!!”

how do you know he would be president cougar mellencamp?? he might be just president mellencamp….or maybe president cougar (i like the sound of that).

President Cougar? I guess the Hillary jokes have started already.

Hillary would be a great prez if she paints her head, err, hair RED!!!!!

If we’re going to have a President Cougar, I nominate Debbie Harry. (‘cos she still makes me go ’rowr!’)

Is the no rushing the field rule an SEC thing? Happens all the time elsewhere, seems like.

I guess that explains all the shrubbery that surrounds the field at southern stadiums.

1. - Exactly what I was thinking. This is just a bullshit way for the SEC to invoke their Taliban policies.

When I was in fourth grade, my gifted teacher asked all our parents to consider getting us a subscription to USA Today, since, as she described it, “It’s the perfect newspaper for bright fourth and fifth-graders.” Even then I knew it was a burn.

1. - Guess so. Auburn has the Gestapo lining the field as well. They come out during the 4th and just stare you down. The last time I remember field rushing at Auburn was when we beat #1 ranked Florida at home in 2001.

Prior to that UGA beat us in Auburn in 1986 and their fans rushed the field. The tactic that time was for AU officials to turn on the sprinklers. Over the years the mutts have exaggerated this event to the point that it has morphed into Bull Conner and his riot police wielding fire hoses.

I agree with 34. Rushing the field is an admission of inferiority.

Tommy Kilborn applauds you, sir.

46
I don’t know if you heard this already or not, but Tommy isn’t real. I think someone in that thread may have hinted that such was the case, anyway.

and I also think referring to Gainesville as “Title-town” is a bit gay.

Man, that was a beautiful hit.

Thinking about it, as crazy as this year has been, I truly believe that the worst thing to happen this college football season is Rey Maualuga’s hair cut. The man still looks psychotic on the football field, but there’s not the same intimidation factor without the Wild Samoan hairdo.

It makes me sad.

@ 44 – I remember that game, and the t-shirts that came after it. IIRC, Auburn beat Bama that year and then had t-shirts printed that said “The weak we beat, the strong we hose” or something like that.

I also stormed the field at Auburn back in ‘82 (Munson’s “Sugar falling from the sky” game) when Georgia beat Auburn.

Of course, due to the strange nature of the Georgia-Auburn series (home field is no advantage), I’m sure you have similar memories of being on the field at Sanford Stadium after any of your big wins there.

I have never personally rushed any field or ben in addendance when it occured. Graduated from Auburn before the 2001 season so I wasn’t there for the UF game. Did AU fans ever rush Sanford Stadium?

New Found Respect Dept:

Comment No. 10: LSU Joshua… You took a physics class? Amazin’. Not to throw insults but I thought you were a PE major.

Which UGA victory at Sanford saw the students rush the field and totally fucking annihilate most of their original hedges? It wasn’t that long ago and it was disastrous (in an awesome way).

#6, TIGERinATL:

According to the Mayan calendar (which is so accurate that it still predicts lunar and solar eclipses to within a half-hour of their observed time today), December 21, 2012 will be the end of a “long count” of their calendar. At the end of previous “long count” cycles, Mayan eschatology holds that the world was destroyed and created anew by the gods.

So Houston Nutt must really be into Mesoamerican eschatology, because the only way he’s sticking around at Arkansas that long is if the world ends.

51. I wish it stopped just at physics. I have a slew of now useless micro, biochem, org chem, genetics, vertebrate physiology, russian and pathology. Not much cause for all that book learning whilst hanging on the back of the garbage truck.

But I am a hoot at parties.

Can anyone explain to me the legality of the SEC fining a Kentucky state government institution? It makes no sense to me, even if it was in a contract it has to be completely meaningless.

Another question: Where does this fine money go? You’re taking money away from an educational institution to do what with it?

#56
The SEC uses the fine $$ on tutors for Jerrell Powe.

1. - I think its along the lines of state employees being paid up to $4 MM to coach football games.

Found the UGA destruction game: <a href="http://media.www.redandblack.com/media/storage/paper871/news/2000/10/10/News/Sec-Heads.To.Examine.Fan.Control-2591858.shtml" rel="nofollow">UGA/UT 2000

They had to remove many of the hedges, original since 1929, and regrow them offsite. Oh, and thanks to the leg humper fans the SEC went into high gear on rules and fines.

#58
TIGERinATL, Does Sabans money come from the state or boosters?

Us Northerners prefer “Better Crowd Control Through Chemistry”!

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=2837
Scroll down to #4.

43

The shrubbery is for grazing the cheerleaders.

Buh-dum-ching

1. - Boosters pay the lions share of most CFB salaries and I suspect that money covered UK’s $50K fine. I said up to $4 MM becasue that happens to be the highest salary in the nation, and it was not a shot at Saban. All coaches at big time schools are paid way more than their states should pay without donations.

To your point though, I think most folks realize that UA is grossly overpaying Saban. I don’t have to point it out.

#47, I have to stick up for my boy #23 on the Titletown issue – when you own all trophies that matter I think its okay to use. Will agree that once we aren’t defending National Champs in everything it shouldn’t be used.

Thank you #64. Besides having a CFB National Championship, having it sandwiched in between back to back CBB National Championships is a historical first…not to mention winning the last two by defeating the same school…by the way, now that we own OSU…have the made this months rent payment…we are going to need some extra duckettes to fund the after party once UK is defeated!!!

Go Gators!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a non-daywalking Gator fan, but shit like “Title-town” reeks of "Got 12?’ once our championship run is over and becomes a memory. So I guess I’d agree with #64 that it’s OK for now, but shouldn’t become permanent.

I stormed the field in 2003 (GT) against Auburn and got a 1.5 ft section of the South End goalposts for my troubles. I beelieve that broke a 7 game slide against the Tiggers.

We carried Reggie Ball off of the field. Let that sink in for a second.

Damn Reggie Ball. Had short bursts of competence but only during Auburn games.

#57:

I have a friend that works at the Ole Miss library. She did an “Intro to the Library” class that Powe was in. From her description and experience, Powe is functionally retarded and probably should never have been allowed to graduate high school, much less attend college. In the old days he would have been a resident of the North Mississippi Regional Center…or a farmhand.

A perfect example of someone who should just go straight to the NFL and not waste a college’s time.