Hey, let’s just check and see who’s gonna be replacing fired Nebraska AD Steve Pederson…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Oh, wait–not coaching, right? Just the AD. Not picking up any clipboards. Not…calling…option keepers…against hopeless…defenses…FS:ELKDFNKDMXCNvlkjchssdfas
(Shudders, grabs crucifix…)
The horror……the…horror….
(HT: Chad.)
Buyout? Sports talk types in Dallas and Birmingham reporting that Dennis Franchione’s buyout has been hammered out, and that Franchione will leave Texas A&M following the 2007 season for the low, low price of 8 to 10 million dollars American, or roughly the combined yearly salaries of 200ish Americans making the average national wage.
Aggie fans, if this is true: EXCELSIOR! Your team might watch tape and prepare instead of attending endless motivational seminars. The number one name on Aggie AD Bill Byrne’s list according to ESPN’s Chuck Cooperstein: Tommy Tuberville, who won’t leave but who will chip a few more gold bricks out of Bobby Lowder’s tower of football Mammon thanks to the overtures.
Other fun, truthy candidates:
–Terry Bowden (though we want him to go to Arkansas in a marriage made in hell)
–Gary Patterson
–Will Muschamp
–Bo Pelini
–Jimbo Fisher
–Paul Johnson
–Jerry Moore. Hot hot hot!
Orson and Hannibal go over the week’s ledger, trendy style.
HANNIBAL’S BUYS
Celebrate! You never go out of style.Louisville: Knit jacquards with stripe and basketwork motifs
By the laws of cool, the Cardinals should’ve been all washed up by now. All those naive dreams of peace and love, a touchdown on every drive, it all sounds great in theory, until everyone realize for all the pretension you have no plan for defense. My, though, but how the mood has changed: with just one conference loss, off a convincing, turnover-free win at undefeated Cincinnati with West Virginia, South Florida, Rutgers and UConn still in front of them, the
Cards could still mature into Big East champions. Going with UL may sound like a bold statement, but all-American quarterbacks never go out of style.
Michigan:
Culture of paradox, play of contrasts, new aesthetic rules rooted in the old. Unostentatiously sumptuous, with accessories meant to disrupt the mundane with bright and unexpected accents. Forget those “wardrobe malfunctions†that made the headlines: in its natural setting, with the right accessories, this understated look can’t miss. More evidence that layered looks are
about more than just covering up.
ORSON’S BUYS
Hiro could run the Statue of Liberty, no problem.Boise State. Television division, “Heroes”
Like Heroes, seemed poised for one year of esoteric brilliance before fading back into the basement of geek adoration (superheroes! trick plays! blue turf!). Yet both have come roaring back into form in midseason, admittedly both in unreal fashion (superpowers for Heroes, winning without defense against Nevada in four overtimes.) Hawaii is fading like The Office, as they’re both passing into banal self-parody, leaving Boise to assume the humble mantle of saving the world all by its lonesome in the WAC. Boise is a stylish buy going into the WAC stretch with Ian Johnson and his equally esoteric but stylish knit hats as a logical accessory.
Florida Extremely personal personal scents. Oh,Tom Ford may be lambasted for
Tonight we’ll be signing copies of The ESPN Guide To Psycho Fan Behavior with Warren St. John at the Barnes and Noble in Buckhead located at 2900 Peachtree Road NE. We promise one of the three: nudity, flames, and book signing. That’s batting .333, and in baseball it’ll make you a legend.
Warren’s never actually met us, so he’ll be signing books at a table separated from us by a plexiglass, bulletproof shield. Oh, and we’ll be muzzled and cannot look at or address Warren. We mean, er, Mr. St. John.
But that’s what you do when you start out in this business, right? If 20 people show, we’ll be shocked, so attempt to shock us without dirtying a finger by doing just that: showing up. We’ll be going to Kramer’s afterwards, a bar described as “not like being in Buckhead” despite being in Buckhead. We only know that the owner has been known to power bomb his patrons, and that’s enough to pique our curiosity.
And while you’re at it, have another free sample of the book that is, without a doubt, the best way to satisfy the requirement for a holiday gift without actually considering what a male relative likes. He’s breathing? Likes sports? He’ll love a book designed to be enjoyed on the groan throne. We’ve road-tested these pieces ourselves, and can tell you with all confidence that even with Indian food splattershots, pot roast slow-sliders, and the ever-daunting “Shitting a sea urchin you ate on a dare,” there’s nary a bowel movement that can’t be complemented with a piece from the ESPN Guide to Psycho Fan Behavior.
See you there, or at Kramer’s, or if you don’t attend, at the bus stop…when you least expect it.
Look, honey! He’s making’ it rain!You know a fad’s run its course when a football coach gets on board–they spend so much of their time walled up in the film room and texting teenagers that fashion is often the first casualty of a time-eating schedule, along with PR skills, remembering your wife’s name, and properly untangling a headset cord from around your feet. (Watch how many coaches nearly die tripping on sideline cords–OSHA should intervene, dammit.)
Perhaps we can blame a busy schedule, stress, or simply enduring the weekly brainings that being on the Baylor coaching staff entails. Or perhaps Baylor o-line/tight ends coach Eric Schnupp really wanted to make it rain in the literal sense.
Eric Schnupp, Baylor’s offensive line/tight ends coach, was issued a citation at 2:20 a.m. for disorderly conduct-reckless exposure at Scruffy Murphy’s, 1226 Speight Ave., said Waco police spokesman Steve Anderson.
The citation was a Class C misdemeanor, carrying a $258 fine, according to a Waco Municipal Court spokeswoman.
The alleged incident happened around closing time, as employees were getting patrons out of the bar, said bartender Danny Severe, who was working at the time.
Severe said an employee witnessed Schnupp urinating on the bar, and a manager told police, who were already at the bar for an unrelated matter.
“While we were kicking everybody out, he apparently thought that nobody was looking and whipped it out and (urinated) on the bar,†Severe said. “He tried to deny it, but there was definitely a puddle and there was no one else around him.â€
You always try to deny it. Schnupp’s future on the staff is up in the air, according to Baylor coach Guy Morris, but he did have “several shots of liquor” purchased for him by others. We’d count this as a mitigating factor if his resume didn’t list his playing career at the University of Miami, because the boys at Da U take shots at the bar like Fifty Cent, son! No excuses there, Mr Tinkly Pants.
(See? If you’d only stick to purple drank, none of this would have happened. You might OD on lean, sure–but you’re not going to go alpha wolf in the bar and mark your territory on sizzurp. Next time, you stay frosty and grip ‘n sip.)
 |
||
|
Your jubilation will cost you exactly $50,000. Kentucky is fined fifty grand for allowing students onto the field Saturday after their historic victory over number one ranked LSU. We’re thinking the Kentucky athletic department wrote the check happily. If Kentucky doesn’t want people on the field, though, Florida’s got a great model for keeping fans off the field: a zillion baton-wielding cops lining the field and K-9 units turned loose on daring runners. The beating sucks, but it’s the dog attempting to rip your flesh off that really puts the spice into the affair. Houston Nutt believes in 2012. Flying cars! Beer cans that walk into your hands on robot legs! Fishin’ poles what magnetize fish and pull them into your boat! Oh, and another science fiction fantasy: Houston Nutt thinks his contract goes to 2012. “ The contract they’ve given me, it’s real clear. It says 2012,†Nutt continued. “It doesn’t say you’re gone 2007, 2008. It says 2012.” You know! 2012! When President Cougar Mellencamp changes the national anthem to “THIS IS OUURRRRRR COUNTRY!!!” and the Razorbacks are coming off their fourth national title in a row running yon Wildcat formation! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! I have given you something quotable, please replicate it in the nation’s largest newspaper. Linebacker Tyrone McKenzie of South Florida has a very simple answer for why Ray Rice ran for 202 yards and two tds against the Bulls last year. When McKenzie was reminded of that, he said matter-of-factly, “I wasn’t here last year.†The quote comes from a NYT article detailing USF’s Galahadesque rise into the heavens from trailer-bound beginnings…when the program actually did get its start in a trailer. Meaning USF is either the Hillary Swank of programs, or if they collapse over the next five years, the Britney Spears. Keep your hands off their Johnson. Navy fans remain clear on this point: no matter who you may want to hire for the Nebraska head coaching job, keep your hands off their Johnson. Pacific Islanders greet each other with thunderous hits. If you are a football fan, your most frequent exposure to any and all Polynesian culture is in the form of muscular men with long names and flowing, Troy Polamalu manes delivering murderous hits. Watch enough football, and you’re no doubt convinced that the teeth-shattering tackle is not a football move, but rather a greeting in Samoa, Hawaii, and other palm-tree-littered environs. Point being: Nai Fotu of Utah is doing nothing to dispel this misconception on our part.
|
||
 |
||
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
| S | M | T | W | T | F | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| « Sep | Nov » | |||||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | |
| 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
| 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 |
| 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | |||
©2008 EveryDayShouldBeSaturday.com - Privacy Policy
EDSBS is proudly powered by WordPress
The page was generated in 0.689 seconds with 23 queries.
Loading ...
