LOU HOLTZ: A MAN WITH HARD WOOD

listening to him speak late in the game I imagined the microphone… dripping

I was reminded of “We wanted ones like Daft Punk have” when he launched the “I don’t know who that is” line… Lou Holtz is truly sublime. Last night’s broadcast was lulzy.

This man spoke at a pep rally on the beach before USC’s second Outback Bowl against Ohio State in 2001. During the speech, he referred to our team has “Notre Dame.” And we laughed. And we LOVED him for it!

Dr. StrangeCock,

(And it seems very odd to address a man as such)
Are you attending the “Battle of Carolina” this weekend in lovely Shop-Lei Hill?

I’d gladly pay you Tuesday if you buy me a beer on Frankin Street on Saturday.

He sure gives one a reason to watch Gameday after one’s own team has gone in the tank. He is a boon to Clemson fans everywhere…….

I used to think he was an annoying old man who needed to get off my teevee.

Now he’s the annoying old man whom I can’t imagine my college football coverage without. Damn you, Four-Letter; your insidious plan to make Lou Holtz awesome worked. Hell, fucking send him to Gameday and tell Corso and his furry head fetish to shove off.

has anyone’s job ever required them to spend more time with more pains in the ass than rece davis??? if so it damn sure wasn’t televised.

Shame on you, Loooo, for not giving the source of “a tie’s like kissing your sister”. That is an old Bear Bryant adage, but give Loooo credit for putting a new twist on it.

Serious moment:
You have to admit, if you took the picture on TV every game of him as a coach squatting down along the sidelines, picking up a blade of grass, another blade hanging from his mouth, all crowd noise hushed away in his mind, studying the line of scrimmage, trying to figure out the final piece of the puzzle like Bill Paxton studying a funnel cloud forming, a certain awe-struck feeling went over you.
/giggle gag off
Yeah that Lou is one crazy cat!

Lou is great. I wish he was my grandpa!

I feel we should all embrace these heady times of Holtzapalooza. Soon he may recede back within himself like in “Awakenings”. Oh yes, “Awakenings”.

Shimply Awthum

Lou’s “hard wood” is actually Rigor Mortis.

Lou Holth is an absolute treasure and should be given the run of the place. We only caught the end of the game last night but tuned in just in time for the priceless Eva/Terry exchange.

I’ll admit, I love this guy now.

Hard wood, eh? I bet Lou wouldn’t be so thrilled to learn the definition of aHoltzbag. Or maybe he wood, dunno ;)

Here’s another “Holtizm”, sort of, for those of you too young to have remembered even the Dynasty comment.

Setting: Jan.1, 1969 Rose Bowl. Undefeated USC (O.J. Simpson’s Heisman year) vs undefeated OSU (super soph’s Jack Tatum, John Brockington, Rex Kern, et al) winner gets the Nat’l. Championship.

Early in the game, O.J. runs 80 yards (actually covering about 115 with about 7 jukes) for a TD.

Buckeye Head Coach Woody Hayes (not known for temper control) goes ballistic and finds his Defensive Coordinator, Lou Holtz, on the sideline and gets right in Lou’s face.

Woody: “Why did he go 80 yards? Why did he go 80 yards?? WHY DID HE GO 80 YARDS???”

Holtz: “Coach, that’s all he needed”

Stagecoach67 – Thanks for sharing that. That’s funny as hell and is very typical of many of his witty remarks while at USCe. When commenting on sell out crowds during the 1 win over 2 year stretch when he first came to SC, Lou said something along the lines of South Carolina fans are great, “we’ve got the most fans per win in the history of the sport!”

I’m 99.9 percent sure Lou just flashed the shocker on national TV when giving the LSU pep talk. That’s just what Kentucky needs – chainsaw dick and small, point, scar covered fingers up the ass.

I got to tell you that I’m starting to really like crazy old man Holtz. And even Lee Corso and his mascot head schtick. Now Herbstreit, I wouldn’t mind him being banished to the Big Ten Network.

#20:

Don’t do that to us. I beg thee.

Out Of Conference – You are most welcome for the anecdote. I’ve always thought it to be one of Holtz’ better lines, particularly given the circumstances.

Unfortunately, for me, that Buckeye National Championship was the prelude to my making the single dumbest wager in the history of sports…and having to suffer the consequences in about as ugly a fashion as could be, short of actual human death/dismemberment being involved.

It did cure me, at a very early age, of being a degenerate gambler. Now, I’m just……..an aimless degenerate.

I will be saddened today, upon perusing the list of fresh Nobel honorees, to find you going unrecognized for the word “teleprechaummentator”.

I think “Nick Saban doesn’t have time for this shit” has just been replaced.

ESPN should start selling "Lou Holtz means “Hard Wood” bumper stickers.

Urban Meyer – always on his knees to Lou Holtz, his mentor.