CURIOUS INDEX, 10/11/07
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![]() Wannstached! Running back LeSean McCoy ran mad furlongs against Navy all night, but when the time came to daringly end the game before a third overtime, the Wannstache reverted to true form by passing with his freshman qb not once, but twice on both third and fourth down to botch away the Navy game. Quoth Wannstedt: If I had the same situation, I would do it again.” This may bring back nasty flashbacks for Bears fans. Quoth Wannstedt after going for two points and failing at the end of a 1997 game against the Miami Dolphins: “Would I do it again?,” Wannstedt said. “Definitely. It looked like the ball was just overthrown a little bit.” Holth wath magnifithent, though. Lou Holtz was in legendary form last night. Holtz threatened to punch Mark May in the face, ripped Wannstedt rightfully for not running on third down before going for it on fourth down at the goal line, referred to the flexbone as the wishbone all night, and was talking with his mouth full of whatever heart-attack-in-a-bun they were given in the middle of the broadcast long after May and Davis daintily nibbled and went back to the broadcast. Holtz is quickly becoming the demented uncle with progeria we never had. Texas A&M will divuge the contents of emails sent to Aggie boosters by Dennis Franchione in his $1200 a year subscription newsletter in a news conference this morning. To make things look even sketchier than they might already look, the emails were difficult to recover because they weren’t sent from campus computers. 600 pages=6 points. Someone, as a reader put it, “sneaked into Bill Callahan’s fortress of mediocrity” and snapped a photo of Bill Callahan’s playbook. Dem’s many pages for 6 points against Missouri. Department of Specious Rumors: Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated allegedly made himself at home in Baton Rouge on Saturday night: The pressbox gets a call from press will call saying that somebody claiming to be Rick Reilly is here wanting up to the press box. One of the SID’s goes downstairs to check (Reilly had not requested any credentials before hand) and in fact it was Rick Reilly. He appeared to be drunk/stoned and was accompanied by a blonde that my friend’s wife described as “looking like a stripper.” Given that it was Rick Reilly, he was allowed up to the press box. Where he proceeded to spend the whole game making out with his friend. One of the other SIDs was quoted saying “those two need a room bad.” We had no idea Rick Reilly was so debauched, so reckless, and so…cool. Who knew someone who gave two shits about the ineffective form of landscaping called golf could be that metal? PRESS BOXES OF THE WORLD, RICK REILLY CLAIMS THEM FOR HIS RUTTING-SPACE!!! (HT: Billy in Baton Rouge.) |
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1
Rob says:
That playbook is huge.
October 11th, 2007 at 8:59 am
2
UgasTexan says:
Quoteth Holth:
“You may not find this intertsting, but Holtz means ‘hard wood.’”
No doubt, Lou. No doubt.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:00 am
3
OhioDawg says:
Had the game on last night in the background while in the midst of a loud, drunken card game. Even under those circumstances periodically guys would turn around and say “what the hell did Holtz just say?”
If you want entertainment, it’s all about Hardwood.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:02 am
4
Bear's Brain in a Bottle says:
that coach from last night… Wannastetson?…. he ain’t gonna be coachin’ too much longer….any idiot who doesn’t go for the tie when he should will git run off
*munches on Golden Flake chips*
thas all
October 11th, 2007 at 9:05 am
5
Doug says:
That’s nothing. I was in the press box at Sanford Stadium for the 2001 South Carolina game when Lou Holtz, drunk off his ass, showed up with a hooker on either arm. He kind of elbowed Neil Williamson out of the way and proceeded to teabag both girls in turn, right in front of everybody. And he was supposed to be coaching the game!
October 11th, 2007 at 9:06 am
6
Laugh says:
The Wannstache wins me $100 bucks, my Aggies take another step towards firing that lactating horse’s ass, and Lou proves that senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. A good 24 hours.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:10 am
7
AllWhoYonder says:
Is Henry the name of the wide receiver whose playbook that is or the name of the playbook itself? Bill seems like the kind of guy who would name inanimate objects.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:12 am
8
Oops Pow Surprise says:
How did Lou Holtz go from “should not be on television” to “should be on every single channel of television simultaneously” this quickly? After the last three weeks of insanity, I want to put him on top of a St. Bernard and give him his own 5-hour talk show on Animal Planet.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:14 am
9
Mr Pelican Pants says:
If I recall, to be able to enter any press box, LSU or high school, you have to have a stripper, blonde preferably, and have enough “X”, weed/liquor/barbituates/Colombian Booger Sugar to go around for everyone, just to make the game bearable. As Rick Reilly would say…”Why are there so many people up here in my Skybox? And for my next magic trick, my lovely assistant Cherry Deville, is gonna help me make this cigar disappear from my lips by sitting on my face…….
October 11th, 2007 at 9:15 am
10
Laugh says:
#8
Lou actually single-handedly won Puppy Bowl III.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXT-sJcJka4
October 11th, 2007 at 9:18 am
11
DHC says:
I’m trying to make out the cover page of the NU playbook. So far, I’ve got “Nebraska Football”, “Tough” and “Smart”. Can’t make out the rest.
Insert your own joke here:
October 11th, 2007 at 9:18 am
12
that 5.0 guy @ work! says:
Nebraska Football:
Our Smart & Tough Playbook
Is Named Henry
October 11th, 2007 at 9:26 am
13
cmax says:
in fairness to the gentleman from si, it was baton rouge, in tiger stadium, at night . ..
October 11th, 2007 at 9:32 am
14
cjjags says:
correct me if i’m wrong,
but wouldn’t it be worse for Fran if the email was sent from school computers? If he sent it from the school’s computers he would have been using them for profit… and that would be a lot worse than having used his own personal computers for profit.
the whole thing is retarded on his end but that seems like it would be worse if he had used school equipment.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:33 am
15
Allahver Fist says:
It appears the other word on the playbook is “Dependable”. Tough, Smart, Dependable. The playbook should be called Toby Keith.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:35 am
16
Sabanite says:
Spine of the playbook says “WR Offensive Playbook 2007″….imagine the size of the QB playbook…. and do they have a WR Defensive Playbook?… the questions go on and on
October 11th, 2007 at 9:35 am
17
Baghuan says:
#11, I think the bottom word is “Dependable”. Or maybe it’s “Defensible”. Yeah, that sounds more like it.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:38 am
18
clever moniker says:
Dependable is the last thing Nebraska football is. I would question smart, as well.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:46 am
19
MiseanAuFan says:
#13,
Exactly what I was thinking, as they say, “When in Reauxm…”
October 11th, 2007 at 9:49 am
20
robert says:
Thanks for the rut comment, Orson. I just got a flashback from a lit survey course where the grad student teaching the class thought it would be funny to have us read “I Am Charlotte Simmons” with three weeks to go in the semester.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:50 am
21
fred says:
Perhaps what Texas A&M will actually be doing is to DIVULGE the contents of the emails?
October 11th, 2007 at 9:51 am
22
PW says:
damn fred, that’s cold. you, sir, have a fine-toothed comb.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:56 am
23
Dat Nguyen says:
http://www.barkingcarnival.com/henryjames/aggie-ad-to-discuss-franchiones-fanzine
October 11th, 2007 at 9:57 am
24
Futbawl Fan says:
Perhaps what Texas A&M will actually be doing is to PROJECTILE VOMIT the contents of the emails?
October 11th, 2007 at 9:57 am
25
PJ from NU in SF says:
I’m with cjjjags on the Fran story; the “didn’t want to use school equipment” story can go a long way. (I’m almost to the point of toting two computers on trips for a similar reason, but until I do, virtual machines are the next best thing.)
I’m wondering about two things: the playbook-inside-the-playbook (the slim black notebook inside the front cover, and the scheme behind the different colors of paper stock. Since it’s Nebraska and Henry is a wide receiver, the blue sheets might be running plays, and the white sheets might be pass plays, most of which would involve dropping the catch.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:01 am
26
clever moniker says:
Wannstedt is Les Miles once he falls on hard times. Your luck will run out some time, you crazy hat bastard, Les. You cant go for it on 4th down every time you, “have complete confidence in your guys”. That shit doesnt last, and I’ll be there to laugh at Les when he forgets he has a kicker and decides to “let ‘er ride”. Fuck you, Miles Brand…I mean Les Miles.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:05 am
27
Tom Ozburn says:
Here’s the bio for the guy that belongs to the playbook.
http://www.huskers.com/ViewArticle.dbml?SPSID=4&SPID=22&DB_OEM_ID=100&ATCLID=324988&Q_SEASON=2007
What a waste of trees….
October 11th, 2007 at 10:08 am
28
J. Peterman says:
YOU’VE BEEN WANNSTACH’D!
SO SRY BOUT DAT.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:09 am
29
The Last Dragon says:
Rick Reilly is still a douche.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:11 am
30
Brian says:
Forget the Franchione Email scandal, I want some snarky commentary on the underrated rivalry between TTU and TAMU…Apparently TTU shut down the Vick’Em shirt guys for poor taste considerations. In the article they explained numerous other poor celebratory displays by the TTU faithful. I demand snarkiness!
October 11th, 2007 at 10:11 am
31
JohnInHuntsville says:
I’m no huge Reilly fan, but I find the combination of vices (booze, broads, and SEC football) very compelling. Reilly is obviously a connousieur of the best this life has to offer.
And who’s to say he was with a “hooker”? I think that is an insult to every LSU coed out there.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:18 am
32
hailstate says:
Sylvester Croom laughs at the size of that puny playbook.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:19 am
33
Mr Pelican Pants says:
The reason that playbook is so thick is because of the pictures that the WR’s have to look at. When did Nebraska get WR’s???
Then of course there are the coloring book pages, and the self help handbook,and a 400 level course on why Corn is the next superfuel. That seems like a bunch of pages for a couple of routes, since the Nebraska I grew up with was “between the tackles”, where book-learning and the new fangled “forward pass” was fer sissys. 1st down was fullback dive, 2nd down, option left, 3rd down quarterback keeper to the right, then repeat 1st down til you score. If you got anything like 3 and 7, then you just threw it for 60 yrds to your fastest tight end. who needs WR’s at Nebraska, This is Nebraska dammit. I bet you most of the pages are for “Blocking Downfield for Dummies”
October 11th, 2007 at 10:20 am
34
Mr Pelican Pants says:
My God, some has signed Vinnie Testerverde -Carolina? Damn, he couldnt get a job as a greeter at Wal-Mart? Isnt he like 50? didnt he play against Dan Marino?
October 11th, 2007 at 10:25 am
35
gerry dorsey says:
pat o’brian think rick reilly is a fucking amatuer.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:29 am
36
yoyofutbawl says:
Gawd, that Callhan’s a coaching genius. He makes Coach Fran look intelligent.
Does the Beeg 12 have a lock on wacko HCs or not?
ARRRRRRR, YE MATEYS
October 11th, 2007 at 10:40 am
37
Out of Conference says:
I think it not-so-ironic that not a signle page in Henry’s laybook has been dog-eared except for that single sheet looking too long that is probably a map to the next party he stuck in the playbook.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:43 am
38
Out of Conference says:
I just reealized I have some pretty funny typos in my last post.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:45 am
39
Out of Conference says:
%$#%$!!!!!!
October 11th, 2007 at 10:45 am
40
Allahver Fist says:
#36, OOC
Henry wants it looking new for when he tries to sell it back to the bookstore.
By the way, the “World Hunger” ad has Waffle House lettering. That makes me want to spend my refugee $$ on some scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, and topped hashbrowns. Double order.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:48 am
41
okiedomer says:
musberger thinks rick reilly would be fun to party with
October 11th, 2007 at 10:52 am
42
Rovdjur says:
“Rick Reilly is married to his Boulder High School sweetheart, Linda Campbell, and the couple lives in Denver with their three children.”
http://www.aeispeakers.com/speakerbio.php?SpeakerID=344
Is Linda “stripper hot?”
October 11th, 2007 at 10:53 am
43
dudis41 says:
Re: 41
No.
I really hope this is true. And I also hope that his next column contains some witty one-liners from his marriage counseling sessions.
But hey, Rick got the whole futbaw experience.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:02 am
44
The Dawg says:
Orson, have you any insider info on whether CBS will choose NOT to air the WLOCP in favor of showing the UT-SCUm game?
October 11th, 2007 at 11:02 am
45
Orson Swindle says:
none…but working on it.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:06 am
46
justanotherbuckeye says:
#26
You took the thought outta my head……………..now please explain how you did that!
Les Miles is a Wannstache who made it 5 times in a row, a road trip to Vegas after the game would’ve been prudent.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:15 am
47
Edsall is God says:
The last time the Cocktail Party wasn’t on CBS was the night the Gators ended Georgia’s title hopes in 2002. It was also the game that Rex Grossman gave me three seperate heart attacks and one seizure. I had a large investment in Florida that night.
Now that it’s not a Cocktail Party anymore, I’m sure playing the game at 8pm on ESPN won’t matter that much. Like no one would drink too much or anything.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:38 am
48
Chg says:
Re #32, I wish Nebraska was still known for that.
Don’t care for the program, but I’d be willing to put up with a consistent 8 or 9 wins and occasional top 10 finish just for the comforting sight of Nebraska running their traditional offense.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:42 am
49
Russ says:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/ncaa/10/10/bc.fbc.gipper.sbody.ap/index.html
Good lord, how low will Notre Dame stoop to win a game?
October 11th, 2007 at 11:44 am
50
Papa Lou BSU says:
#26, the Wannstache – Miles analogy doesn’t really work. Simply because Miles has had far more success as a head coach already that the ‘Stache ever had at any juncture.
Wanny’s lone era of coaching success is comprised of his time as the DC on really good teams that Jimmy Johnson assembled.
The guy regressed the Bears to a point where we were reminiscing fondly about the Bob Avellini Era, he couldn’t win jack squat with the Dolphins, despite Johnson leaving him an absolutely loaded team, and now he’s running Pitt right back into the ground.
And yet, people keep hiring the guy. Unbelievable.
I was mildly rooting for Navy last night, and my resignation when Pitt got inside the three yard line in the second OT turned to hope when I remembered who was on the Pitt sideline.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:54 am