CURIOUS INDEX, 10/11/07

That playbook is huge.

Quoteth Holth:

“You may not find this intertsting, but Holtz means ‘hard wood.’”

No doubt, Lou. No doubt.

Had the game on last night in the background while in the midst of a loud, drunken card game. Even under those circumstances periodically guys would turn around and say “what the hell did Holtz just say?”

If you want entertainment, it’s all about Hardwood.

that coach from last night… Wannastetson?…. he ain’t gonna be coachin’ too much longer….any idiot who doesn’t go for the tie when he should will git run off

munches on Golden Flake chips

thas all

That’s nothing. I was in the press box at Sanford Stadium for the 2001 South Carolina game when Lou Holtz, drunk off his ass, showed up with a hooker on either arm. He kind of elbowed Neil Williamson out of the way and proceeded to teabag both girls in turn, right in front of everybody. And he was supposed to be coaching the game!

The Wannstache wins me $100 bucks, my Aggies take another step towards firing that lactating horse’s ass, and Lou proves that senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. A good 24 hours.

Is Henry the name of the wide receiver whose playbook that is or the name of the playbook itself? Bill seems like the kind of guy who would name inanimate objects.

How did Lou Holtz go from “should not be on television” to “should be on every single channel of television simultaneously” this quickly? After the last three weeks of insanity, I want to put him on top of a St. Bernard and give him his own 5-hour talk show on Animal Planet.

If I recall, to be able to enter any press box, LSU or high school, you have to have a stripper, blonde preferably, and have enough “X”, weed/liquor/barbituates/Colombian Booger Sugar to go around for everyone, just to make the game bearable. As Rick Reilly would say…"Why are there so many people up here in my Skybox? And for my next magic trick, my lovely assistant Cherry Deville, is gonna help me make this cigar disappear from my lips by sitting on my face…….

#8

Lou actually single-handedly won Puppy Bowl III.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXT-sJcJka4

I’m trying to make out the cover page of the NU playbook. So far, I’ve got “Nebraska Football”, “Tough” and “Smart”. Can’t make out the rest.

Insert your own joke here:

Nebraska Football:

Our Smart & Tough Playbook
Is Named Henry

in fairness to the gentleman from si, it was baton rouge, in tiger stadium, at night . ..

correct me if i’m wrong,

but wouldn’t it be worse for Fran if the email was sent from school computers? If he sent it from the school’s computers he would have been using them for profit… and that would be a lot worse than having used his own personal computers for profit.

the whole thing is retarded on his end but that seems like it would be worse if he had used school equipment.

It appears the other word on the playbook is “Dependable”. Tough, Smart, Dependable. The playbook should be called Toby Keith.

Spine of the playbook says “WR Offensive Playbook 2007”….imagine the size of the QB playbook…. and do they have a WR Defensive Playbook?… the questions go on and on

#11, I think the bottom word is “Dependable”. Or maybe it’s “Defensible”. Yeah, that sounds more like it.

Dependable is the last thing Nebraska football is. I would question smart, as well.

#13,

Exactly what I was thinking, as they say, “When in Reauxm…”

Thanks for the rut comment, Orson. I just got a flashback from a lit survey course where the grad student teaching the class thought it would be funny to have us read “I Am Charlotte Simmons” with three weeks to go in the semester.

Perhaps what Texas A&M will actually be doing is to DIVULGE the contents of the emails?

damn fred, that’s cold. you, sir, have a fine-toothed comb.

http://www.barkingcarnival.com/henryjames/aggie-ad-to-discuss-franchiones-fanzine

Perhaps what Texas A&M will actually be doing is to PROJECTILE VOMIT the contents of the emails?

I’m with cjjjags on the Fran story; the “didn’t want to use school equipment” story can go a long way. (I’m almost to the point of toting two computers on trips for a similar reason, but until I do, virtual machines are the next best thing.)

I’m wondering about two things: the playbook-inside-the-playbook (the slim black notebook inside the front cover, and the scheme behind the different colors of paper stock. Since it’s Nebraska and Henry is a wide receiver, the blue sheets might be running plays, and the white sheets might be pass plays, most of which would involve dropping the catch.

Wannstedt is Les Miles once he falls on hard times. Your luck will run out some time, you crazy hat bastard, Les. You cant go for it on 4th down every time you, “have complete confidence in your guys”. That shit doesnt last, and I’ll be there to laugh at Les when he forgets he has a kicker and decides to “let ’er ride”. Fuck you, Miles Brand…I mean Les Miles.

Here’s the bio for the guy that belongs to the playbook.
http://www.huskers.com/ViewArticle.dbml?SPSID=4&SPID=22&DB_OEM_ID=100&ATCLID=324988&Q_SEASON=2007

What a waste of trees….

YOU’VE BEEN WANNSTACH’D!

SO SRY BOUT DAT.

Rick Reilly is still a douche.

Forget the Franchione Email scandal, I want some snarky commentary on the underrated rivalry between TTU and TAMU…Apparently TTU shut down the Vick’Em shirt guys for poor taste considerations. In the article they explained numerous other poor celebratory displays by the TTU faithful. I demand snarkiness!

I’m no huge Reilly fan, but I find the combination of vices (booze, broads, and SEC football) very compelling. Reilly is obviously a connousieur of the best this life has to offer.

And who’s to say he was with a “hooker”? I think that is an insult to every LSU coed out there.

Sylvester Croom laughs at the size of that puny playbook.

The reason that playbook is so thick is because of the pictures that the WR’s have to look at. When did Nebraska get WR’s???
Then of course there are the coloring book pages, and the self help handbook,and a 400 level course on why Corn is the next superfuel. That seems like a bunch of pages for a couple of routes, since the Nebraska I grew up with was “between the tackles”, where book-learning and the new fangled “forward pass” was fer sissys. 1st down was fullback dive, 2nd down, option left, 3rd down quarterback keeper to the right, then repeat 1st down til you score. If you got anything like 3 and 7, then you just threw it for 60 yrds to your fastest tight end. who needs WR’s at Nebraska, This is Nebraska dammit. I bet you most of the pages are for “Blocking Downfield for Dummies”

My God, some has signed Vinnie Testerverde -Carolina? Damn, he couldnt get a job as a greeter at Wal-Mart? Isnt he like 50? didnt he play against Dan Marino?

pat o’brian think rick reilly is a fucking amatuer.

Gawd, that Callhan’s a coaching genius. He makes Coach Fran look intelligent.

Does the Beeg 12 have a lock on wacko HCs or not?

ARRRRRRR, YE MATEYS

I think it not-so-ironic that not a signle page in Henry’s laybook has been dog-eared except for that single sheet looking too long that is probably a map to the next party he stuck in the playbook.

I just reealized I have some pretty funny typos in my last post.

$#$!!!!!!

#36, OOC

Henry wants it looking new for when he tries to sell it back to the bookstore.

By the way, the “World Hunger” ad has Waffle House lettering. That makes me want to spend my refugee $$ on some scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, and topped hashbrowns. Double order.

musberger thinks rick reilly would be fun to party with

“Rick Reilly is married to his Boulder High School sweetheart, Linda Campbell, and the couple lives in Denver with their three children.”

http://www.aeispeakers.com/speakerbio.php?SpeakerID=344

Is Linda “stripper hot?”

Re: 41

No.

I really hope this is true. And I also hope that his next column contains some witty one-liners from his marriage counseling sessions.

But hey, Rick got the whole futbaw experience.

Orson, have you any insider info on whether CBS will choose NOT to air the WLOCP in favor of showing the UT-SCUm game?

none…but working on it.

#26

You took the thought outta my head……………..now please explain how you did that!

Les Miles is a Wannstache who made it 5 times in a row, a road trip to Vegas after the game would’ve been prudent.

The last time the Cocktail Party wasn’t on CBS was the night the Gators ended Georgia’s title hopes in 2002. It was also the game that Rex Grossman gave me three seperate heart attacks and one seizure. I had a large investment in Florida that night.

Now that it’s not a Cocktail Party anymore, I’m sure playing the game at 8pm on ESPN won’t matter that much. Like no one would drink too much or anything.

Re #32, I wish Nebraska was still known for that.

Don’t care for the program, but I’d be willing to put up with a consistent 8 or 9 wins and occasional top 10 finish just for the comforting sight of Nebraska running their traditional offense.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/ncaa/10/10/bc.fbc.gipper.sbody.ap/index.html

Good lord, how low will Notre Dame stoop to win a game?

#26, the Wannstache – Miles analogy doesn’t really work. Simply because Miles has had far more success as a head coach already that the ’Stache ever had at any juncture.

Wanny’s lone era of coaching success is comprised of his time as the DC on really good teams that Jimmy Johnson assembled.

The guy regressed the Bears to a point where we were reminiscing fondly about the Bob Avellini Era, he couldn’t win jack squat with the Dolphins, despite Johnson leaving him an absolutely loaded team, and now he’s running Pitt right back into the ground.

And yet, people keep hiring the guy. Unbelievable.

I was mildly rooting for Navy last night, and my resignation when Pitt got inside the three yard line in the second OT turned to hope when I remembered who was on the Pitt sideline.

Holthhhhh vs. SI’s Rick Reilly:

Holthh did a great job, informative, silly, whacky, full of beans banter and should broadwasting more games on Sat instead of Wed night.

Riles, well, for years now has just basically re-cycled the same four types of articles over and over and over and again. One week, he’ll go for the tear-jerker. Another, he will blast some greedy athlete. A third, he will hype a coach or athlete. And a fourth, he will go away from sports a little and bring in other topics into the sports-world. My recommendation: Hang it up Riles, and focus on other types of writing, while you still have some industry cred.

That’s how we do it round here in Boulder! Storm the South and show them how real debauchery is done…

I don’t think Rick is married anymore, that bio is about 3-4 years out of date.

Rick Reilly dumped that chick after he found some bite marks on her ass with the tattoo “Marv Alberts Bitch”

Screw you, Swindle. I said someone SNUCK into the BC fortress, not ‘sneaked’.

Don’t standardize my jocular usage, bro!

My favorite Holth moments were the Joan Collins/Linda Evans reference and the fact that, while a tie is like kissing your sister, “it’s better than kissing your brother.”

1. - Allahver Fist -

 "That makes me want to spend my refugee $$ on some scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, and topped… "

I really thought your next word was going to be, “Refugee.” I’m having trouble deciding whether it’s my fault or yours that I thought that.

#54: The straight man (play-by-play announcer) asked Hothhhh to update his reference, and it was so funny when he could not. I thought Mark May would say something like Beyonce and Shakira. Or, Holth would say Ethel Merman or Gloria Swanson.

It’s so cute to see the rest of the football world come up to speed with Notre Dame’s irrational love for Holtz. He’s that hilarious batshit insane uncle you always have a blast running into at family parties.

Man, pep rallies took a huge turn for the worse when he got fired after my freshman year. Davie had all the personality and charisma of a cardboard cutout.

Callahan’s seat is, at this point, far, far hotter than the national media is getting credit for. This team looks like 2002, and that season got Solich fired. The big dollar boosters have stayed away, but trips to Schrevetucky and Fort Worth are not acceptable. We want to go someplace better than where we already hibernate for the winter.

Allaver Fist:
I’m pretty sure it’s not “Dependable.” I’d guess “Determination.” Specifically, it’s the determination that one mistake by a freshman means you ride pine for the rest of the year once you’ve burned your redshirt.

Pelican Pants:
You’ve apparently confunded Callahan’s playbook with Frank Solich’s. Frank’s was written in crayon, and the wideout playbooks consisted of “Hey, slow white guy! Go wrestle with the safety… or a corner. Whatever.”

Brian:
Texas School of VCR and Gun Repair isn’t doing something because it’d be in poor taste? Is today opposite day?

Don’t worry OOC, you weren’t the only one that thought that. I was hoping it was gonna read “refugee” or “starving child” as well. Maybe that is just because we both went to school in SC.

Lou Holtz, unbeknownst to many, actually slept with a national treasure, Betsy Ross. In fact, he still smells like Betsy Ross, and Tipsy Welshman. Are we sure that they exhumed the Gipper, or was it the real Lou Holtz, and we have been stuck with some alien imposter?

Sigh…. that’s what I thought.

Betsy Ross didn’t actually design the flag…Sorry 2nd grade teacher!

It would have read “…chunked, topped, and hairlipped”.

Fuck that playbook….Rock beats playbook….

This is wrong!!!

D. Wannstedt’s Chicago Bear team knocked off the Miami Dolphin in 1997.

It was the previous week his Bear team failed to convert the two-point conversion versus the Green Bay Packer.

Reilly’s wife is the one on the left…

http://www.breadfordenver.org/images/b4jphoto.jpg

Wow, impressive that you all have so much time on your hands to comment on what one does in their off time. The woman that RR was with is no stripper, she could however strip you of your magna cum laude title you all think you were deserving of.

Wanny is a loser