10 REASONS TO WATCH FLORIDA STATE/WAKE FOREST
Tonight’s ESPN tilt, in addition to reeking of revenge for Florida State, should earn your viewership for at least ten other reasons.
10. Jim Grobe’s mesmerizing tradition of taking a power nap in the middle of the third quarter.
The laid-back Grobe…so…sleepy…
9. Chris Fowler’s pregame chili-fueled vengeance gas, vented in bilious, eye-scorching clouds in retaliation for being forced to sit in a box with Craig James for four hours a week. Watch James wince if you don’t believe us.
8. Three words: TOUCHDOWN, DE’CODY FAGG!!! If he can’t beat the shit out of any man living after being saddled with that name, life’s simply not fair.
7. Fake name to watch, Wake Forest: Chantz McClinic. This is the name you’re supposed to sign in with at public health when you get your syphilis test done. Negative! Dodged your wily arms again, Spanish Pox!
6. Fake name to watch, Florida State: Mister Alexander.
5. Erin Andrews sideline duel to the finish with Jenn Sterger should result in spectacular decapitation finish. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!
4. Xavier Lee should score numerous times for both teams. He’s giving like that.
3. Watch because his dead eyes will show you the evil you know is in your murky soul.
You know nothing. Hell is only a word. The reality is much, much worse.
2. Enjoy the festive tradition of Wake Forest losing four quarterbacks to injury before November. If this occurs tonight, tight end John Tereshinski will take over and then throw 3 tds for a victory for the Demon Deacons.
1. The possibility that Bobby Bowden drives to the game and, mistaking the gas pedal for the brake when parking, drives through a fence and onto the field, injuring 23 people and forcing a forfeit for the Seminoles.
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1
that 5.0 guy @ work! says:
Borrowing from a webcomic, but is the trainer for Wake Forest named Dr. McNinja?
Really, there is an awesome webcomic called “The Adventures of Dr. McNinja”
October 11th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
2
chickensupernova says:
Is that syphillis test administered by Dr Van Nostren?
October 11th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
3
Raider Red says:
3a. To see which mascot will be unmasked as the owner of the haunted amusement park.
Shaggy: “It’s Bobby Bowden!”
Bobby (wearing the Demon Deacon costume without the head): “Dadgumit…I woulda gotten away with it too if it weren’t for y’all meddling kids and that dawg!”
Scooby (laughing): “Ree-hee-hee-hee”
October 11th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
4
sckego says:
That damn movie gave me nightmares for months. Thanks for the memories. Now I’ll never be able to watch Wake Forest again… (oh no!)
October 11th, 2007 at 2:43 pm
5
Biggus Rickus says:
Wait, shouldn’t we be watching for a catfight turned makeout session between Erin Andrews and Jenn Sterger? Or was that implied by the decapitation thing? I mean, lesbian scenes always just sort of peter out at the end. Maybe the decapitation finish can become the norm.
October 11th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
6
Biggus Rickus says:
5.0 Guy,
In my experience there’s no such thing as an awesome web comic.
October 11th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
7
MiseanAuFan says:
Rickus, have you ever seen Mr. Wiggles?
http://www.mrwiggleslovesyou.com/
October 11th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
8
Year2-Dave says:
Well, after all he is a DEMON Deacon. Which is a lot cooler than the real story. Quoth Wikipedia:
Originally the Wake Forest team was known as the Fighting Baptists, due to its association with the Baptist Convention (from which it later separated itself). However, in 1923, after a particularly impressive win against the Duke Blue Devils, a newspaper reporter wrote that the Deacons “fought like Demons”, giving rise to the current team name, the “Demon Deacons”.
October 11th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
9
Albino Tornado says:
lesbian scenes…. peter out… that deserves a few cocktails, sir.
October 11th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
10
Fesser says:
Or Achewood?
achewood.com
October 11th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
11
Biggus Rickus says:
Misean,
I hadn’t. Not bad. I wouldn’t call it awesome, but it doesn’t suck, putting it way above 99% of web comics I’ve seen.
October 11th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
12
Brian says:
Erin Andrews is the one and only. She should start wearing skirts. Just sayin’.
I looked up the game on google news and instead of the teams, they used a pic of Stergerasaurus.
October 11th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
13
MiseanAuFan says:
Rickus,
That one was about par for the course. Many of the archives are better.
October 11th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
14
Rob says:
I love Thursday night mid-major footbaw!
Wait, what?
October 11th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
15
mlmintampa says:
Does Bobby wear his Panama Jack hat for night games? Also, is it me or is the kid that carries Bowden’s head set been the same person (dark hair, glasses) for eight years? I mean, don’t interns leave eventually?
October 11th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
16
Brian says:
RE: Reason #10…As opposed to Bowden who naps the whole game.
Snark. Snark. Snark.
October 11th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
17
SC Gator says:
Isn’t Crazy Uncle Lou going to be giving this weeks insane pep talk at halftime? You really need no other reason when you have that.
October 11th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
18
Devil's Millhopper says:
And if we’re really lucky they’ll have at least one shot of the team chaplain comforting an FSU player by placing a hand on the creeped-out kids’ shoulder. True story: someone once wrote Bobby and said, “I think it’s so nice how you let that retarded boy hang out on your sideline.” Uh, no, that’s our chaplain.
October 11th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
19
Mitch Cumstein says:
#2
I believe it was Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
October 11th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
20
Clemson327 says:
There’s a good chance that Lou, in his insanity, will be giving his inspiring pep talk for the weekend to Clemson after having lost two in a row in demoralizing fashion. Clemson, of course, faces the dreaded opponent “bye week” this Saturday who we have struggled with in the past.
October 11th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
21
GamecockTony says:
Come on… only like 7 or 8 of those reasons are actually going to happen.
You almost had me. Almost.
October 11th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
22
ness says:
what Orson, a mention of Strerger and no one posts a pic or a link to ole’ Chesty McCatchersmitt’s face?
Your posters have been “Lunquistized” since he mentioned you on the CBS broadcast one day.
October 11th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
23
Dawg 05 says:
I call BS on #2. Tereshinkikishnikis don’t throw TDs. They only catch them.
October 11th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
24
gerry dorsey says:
@ #2
acutally i believe he was a dermatolgist.
October 11th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
25
yoyofutbawl says:
If he loses, will Bowden pull a Bobby Knight and walk the 2 miles back to his hotel alone at 1AM?
October 11th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
26
OhioDawg says:
So the game must be at Wake. If Bowden KILLED 23 people while driving onto the field in Tallahassee, there’d still be no reason for a forfeit.
October 11th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
27
clever moniker says:
#15: Does any other coach wear a straw hat like Bowden does? Do you think he’s trying to create a signature look, a la spurrier’s visor, and sweatervest’s, um, sweater.
October 11th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
28
gerry dorsey says:
#27
bama’s dark overlord does….but only at practice. gotta show off them locks on gameday.
October 11th, 2007 at 4:57 pm
29
blackertai says:
‘Bama bangs. Get it right.
October 11th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
30
Mr Pelican Pants says:
With the demon deacons dead eyes, a cool set of Great White Shark Teeth would really set off that costume. Thank God Wake Forest is Baptist, had it been Catholic, theyd be called Father Hesters Child Molesters….Wake Forest, sounds like a baptist burial ground or cemetary in a Scooby Doo episode…..”Hey Scoob,like, thats where they buried Bobby Bowden and Joe Paterno, in Wake Forest…..but Paterno still walks the earth and occasionally drives, not very well,zombies cant really see that well and are very tempermental….!!!”….Jinkies!!!
BTW, that dude in the road rageincident is lucky JoePa of the Living Dead just didnt lean over and take a bite out of his skull like I would bite into an Granny smith apple. Try explainin that to the officer. How did they not know it wasnt Joe Paterno? How many people on campus drive a 1979 White Hearse with a black stripe down the middle, with a tag on the back that says “DYN2RYD”
October 11th, 2007 at 6:23 pm
31
Jonathan says:
Isn’t the line; “There can be only ONE”? Or are you trying to avoid copyright?
October 11th, 2007 at 6:40 pm
32
Stagecoach67 says:
Reason #11:
ACC Football…where the officials get a call right every game. One. Per. Game
October 11th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
33
B2 says:
Re: the Sterger-Andrews deathmatch, isn’t the more appropriate battle cry “THERE CAN BE ONLY TWO!” ?
October 11th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
34
winstongator says:
View from row XX right around 50 in the east stands
October 11th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
35
cgb says:
That is the rest of the FSU schedule:
Miami
Duke
at #4 BC
at #12 Va Tech
Maryland
at #13 Florida
Are you guys feeling a tank or do you think they can pull out the next 5 before getting crushed in the swamp?
October 11th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
36
Hobnail_Boot says:
Silly Orson, everyone knows that Tereshinskis catch TD’s, they don’t throw them.
October 12th, 2007 at 11:00 am