YOUR COLLEGE T-SHIRT OF THE DAY

by Orson on Oct 8, 2007 12:15 PM EDT

Woof!

Pirates tend to have a raunchy sense of humor and should, what with all the wenching and pillaging of booty. Euphemisms make for romance! Remember that they both essentially mean robbery and rape, mind you, which is why real pirates are total assholes who don't wear eyepatches and who do carry RPGs when they plunder Taiwanese freighters off the Horn of Africa.

(Seriously: vigilance, reader. Pirates are everywhere. Be aware.)

We remain fond of the fake variety, though, especially the ones in Lubbock who attend Mike Leach's Pirate School. Oh, and they make festive t-shirts, too, like the one cocked up for this week's game against Texas A&M. Did you know that, in addition to making huge bonfires, grabbing their balls in unison, and participating in complex group cheers, the Aggies have a collie as a mascot. Why? Because Lassie's no commie, dammit, unlike that liberal pinko Alger Hiss of a dog, Rin Tin Tin.

FYI: We actually got an advance copy of this t-shirt from Dennis Franchione last Thursday. He'll send you next week's rival t-shirts for just twelve hundred dollars a year. You say crazy, but who was pimping this shirt on Saturday in Baton Rouge? Only Dennis Franchione's official 145th best friend, yours truly, according to his Facebook page. We can feel the envy from here.

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now what offensive shirt does that remind me of…i’m think circa 2002-ish…hmmm….it’ll come to me…

by Cameron Siggs on Oct 8, 2007 12:24 PM EDT reply actions

Yeah, Franchione said he felt your pain in Red Stick, Orson. In fact, Kim said she came home and Dennis was weeping, eating bon bons and had candles lit while sitting in a circle or holy manuscripts(Bible, Koran, Dead Sea Scrolls, etc) he received throughout his coaching stops. You and his other friends will be the only ones to bankroll him after he gets shitcanned, so he has to care about you all. He is going to try to sell you inside information like “Bob Davy doesn’t bathe all that often” or “Lou Holtz has had at least 3 strokes since breakfast this morning” for 50 bucks a year while he’s working at ESPN next year.

by SpookyJuice on Oct 8, 2007 12:30 PM EDT reply actions

hey!!! that’s the highest ranking member of the core you’re fucking with!!!

by gerry dorsey on Oct 8, 2007 12:36 PM EDT reply actions

Are the Texas Tech fans just trying to get some naked PETA chicks to show up for the game?

by DC Trojan on Oct 8, 2007 12:36 PM EDT reply actions

Florida graduate that hates the fact Urban Meyer is the head coach of this team. Joiner is another black eye for the program like Jarvis Moss and Marcus Thomas and Ronnie VT Wilson…Crazy stuff and clearly Meyer wants to win at all cost.

When i went to UF in the early 90s it was fun being different than FSU. Not cheating. Now UF is FSU. F-ing joke.

by Gill Hamper on Oct 8, 2007 12:37 PM EDT reply actions

Enlighten me. I have no idea what you’re talking aboot.

But intrigued.

by Rival on Oct 8, 2007 12:40 PM EDT reply actions

As the guy who sorta started the conference champion-MNC discussion in the last thread which was unrelated to the post itself, I’m probably throwing glass stones at black kettles here, but what the hell are you talking about #5?

by PW on Oct 8, 2007 12:46 PM EDT reply actions

the funny thing is…I wouldn’t bat an eyelash if someone told me that Fran was, in fact, the owner of a facebook page.

by PW on Oct 8, 2007 12:52 PM EDT reply actions

Steve?

by Rival on Oct 8, 2007 12:57 PM EDT reply actions

145 friends??? Orson, does that include the Burger King? The Orgeron? Mack Brown? Bob Stoops? Theanator Loooo Holtz?

I didn’t think there could be that many.

by yoyofutbawl on Oct 8, 2007 1:04 PM EDT reply actions

Re #4: It’s Lubbock. Even the PETA chicks who don’t shave might be an improvement.

by DevilGrad on Oct 8, 2007 1:45 PM EDT reply actions

I’m all for funny shirts that are offensive, but that shits just wrong. Just like threatening to kill a tow truck owner that is a homer and lies to get charges dropped. When I first saw that I thought he was getting threats from LSU fans.

by Thor on Oct 8, 2007 1:51 PM EDT reply actions

Wait a minute, Orson, how did Fran get a Texas Tech shirt in advance? Does Mike Leach have an email list with on the game two weeks from now? Is Fran on that list?

by Land of Os(borne) on Oct 8, 2007 2:09 PM EDT reply actions