THE TONY JOINER ARREST: EXCLUSIVE

“[The arresting officer] said he heard Joiner talking into the phone and saying, ‘I am probably about to go to jail ’cuz I did push the gate open.’ "

…a punishment Urban Meyer described as "harsh."

for what it’s worth…kiana tom had her own show…“flex appeal.” it came on either right before or right after bodyshaping. yes…i’m an idiot.

TJ really, really, really needs to get serial…but it’s not really “stealing” when it’s one’s own property in the possession of another…title to the car doesn’t shift when watson towing takes possession.

also, why on earth would he pull it back into the lot? why not just leave? this sounds serial fishy to me… i’m gonna do some snooping and figure out what, exactly, the hell happened…

He’s no Frank Tolbert. Auburn wins again.

PS goodbye season! goodbye any remote teeeeny, tiiiiiny lil’ chance of victoire at LSU!

The literary one two punch of the “snowmobile in her thang” and the reminiscing over the morning t&a on espn back in the day left me struggling to keep lunch’s current bite of mashed potatos in my mouth.

I might waste time asking how you steadily produce comedic writing this well done. Instead, I’ll just keeping reading, laughing and admiring. Thanks.

Orson, you deliver more scoops than Baskin – Robbins

I have mixed feelings about this. As a Gator fan, I’m all “Gaaaak!! Nooooo!!” But as a lady, I’m all “Awwwww, that is so sweet.” Chivalry is not dead, but our secondary is.

To repeat a joke, Why was Tim Tebow’s car impounded?

Gerry,
Do you realize Chris Fowler married one of the BodyShaping chicks?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennifer_Dempster

Watson’s Towing deserves to have people push in their gate to retrieve cars without paying.

And Tony Joiner won’t be playing Saturday? Sounds normal for most of the secondary except for maybe Major Wright.

Also, I wonder if Urban will kick him off the team, only to have the Dean call a time out, re-instate him, and then have Urban kick him off the team again.

Thank you, thank you very much. I’ll be here all day.

I wonder if her ride was sittin on 22’s

I never knew Tony Joiner had a vast repertoire of hipster pop trivia to draw from, even at 5am after a long romp in the sack.

It’s like Dawson’s Creek dialogue, only much funnier and with black people.

Tased….Towed…what’s next…oh yeah, Tigers!!!

Actually, it went

“Tased, Tigered, Towed”

Fuck Watson’s Towing.

update: Rumor has it that he actually wasn’t outside the towing place, he was inside, trying to get something that belonged to HIM, not the car. more as i can find out more.

Kiana Tom…undoubtedly the genesis of my Asian fetish.

@ gamecock tony

very nice scoop sir. i had no idea. i remember her too. and here i thought herbie was the only one pulling tail in gameday.

karl dorrell is not impressed.

Over under on the average BMI of Bodyshaping viewership? My guess = 45

That ‘chivalry is not dead but our secondary is’ comment ranks right up there w/ OS’s dialogue.

@ 22

i disagree…people with a bmi that high aren’t up early enough to catch bodyshaping. they were up until 3am watching steven seagal movies and eating ice cream.

TPW3D

Mmmm, BodyShaping…..Kiana Tom, Jennifer Dempster…

Well, I’m off to Youtube.

fuck dem lawayz.

Anyone who has ever lived in off campus apartments in Gainesville knows the towing companies are the fucking gestapo. You can park your car in front of someone’s apartment for two minutes and come out and they will be hitching it. I have nothing but scorn for Watson’s and every other unscrupulous towing company in Gainesville.

pretty sure it’s still stealing. while his girlfriend may own title to the car, the tow company is losing the money from the tow through his criminal act. so it’s not the car that he is stealing as much as the tow fee. additionally, it’s burglary. both felonies. and amazingly stupid. how did he think he could just push the gate open, get a car, and leave without anyone finding out?

The question now is if she will wait for him if he is put away or will she be on the hunt for the next Big LD?

Watson’s must be Gainesville’s answer to the Lincoln Park Pirates, but without the Steve Goodman song.

That said, “Jitterbuns” is giving me bad visions of that cell phone for old folks.

And the tab was only $76…I know that buys a lot of cheese sandwiches, but whoops, there goes our secondary.

from Gatorsports: Joiner, who is 6 feet tall and weighs 194 pounds, was accused of pushing a heavy electric gate open in an attempt to retrieve his girlfriend’s car. The vehicle was being held in lieu of a $76 towing bill, according to police reports.

they’ve towed my car and I’m not even living there. They are dicks

Towing companies everywhere are the fucking gustapo.

But if you’re gonna steal something back that’s yours, how do you not have OJ in your posse?

TJ, upon arrest, said he was setting up his very own “sting operation.”
That works on different levels.

Tow Companies in Gainesville are a scam. Free Tony. Viva La Revolucion!!!!!!!!!!

keep refreshing those newspaper articles, folks. the machinery’s still digesting facts. or “facts.”

might not be a big deal:
http://forums.floridatoday.com/viewtopic.php?t=51930&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0
wait this one out…

1. +2, because that was excellent

Also, +1 to whoever introduced “and shit” to the lexicon in using it as a catchall addition to any sentence. It really can’t be topped, and is funny as hell.

“…thanking sponsors and shit…”

Not afraid of junk yard dogs?
Electric Fence?
Rednecks with shotguns?
Breaking into the tow yard was a fearless act. Incredibly stupid, but fearless.

Nice research the r.o.b., like a player of his caliber at any university would not be “taken” care of. Besides, this will not be forgotten when the towing contract come up at UF! That is almost as good as “knowing a guy”!

If he misses the LSU game I’ll kiss the tow truck driver’s big ol’ butt in public (figuratively, of course). The damage control machine is currently humming in overdrive….

Would it violate the spirit of the Fulmer Cup to use regular season infractions to seed the competition (w/o point totals) when the offseason begins, then have these ‘competing teams’ get bumped off the list as real FC points begin to be scored?

Towing companies are absolute bastards. Legal pirates pretty much. I’ve been told that towing companies are one of the first places ex-cons go looking for a job when they get out of jail.

That tow yard in Gainsville sounds pretty soft. The Ms got her car towed a couple of years ago and you’ld need to send Snake Plisskin in to get a car out of the place hers was taken.

I thought Urb made Joiner and Tebow live together and kiss on the sidelines to avoid commotions like this?

At UGA, while we have our own problems with automobiles and being licensed to operate them and not “borrowing them from friends” and not running them into trees and not……Ah never mind, I better just leave this incident alone, my hypocrisy knows some bounds.

Or, during the regular season we could honor Bobby Bowdin and create an award category. After all, I cannot remember any one coach having so many convicts on only team (college that is)…Just a thought!

Yeah, it’s getting blown out of the original context, I mean, most people show up to pay their parking tickets at 4:30 am right?

Herban should have sent him a text message saying “bad idea”.

It is the law in Gainesville that all towing companies monitor their phones 24 hours and that a car be available for pickup within one hour of their being called. Reports are that he called the dispatcher at the towing company and when he showed up to pay there was no one there. Looks like he sat around a while as the employee left and got a bite to eat, so they did not fulfill their obligation. I think the owner would prefer to handle this outside the legal system or he may end up being fined.

So nice of Watson’s owner to extend a laurel and hardy handshake to Joiner’s ‘get the fuck off da hook’ campaign. I expect the favor to be granted retroactively and going forward precisely 0 times to other ‘customers’.

Come on…..can’t you just see the signage posted throughout the swamp…“The Official Towing Company of the Florida Gators”

Meanwhile, Darren McFaddin’s car remains untowed but absolutely rimmed.

Too bad it’s not a drug offense. Urbs would just give him piss tests until he passed and then let him play.

Damn, I saw that Florida Today headline and even commented on it, but didn’t bother to read the article. Haha!

The most ridiculous thing about the story is the justice system — the DA and police can insist on punishment even when the victim doesn’t give a damn. The state demands that you follow the law.

But I won’t muck up this great comedy blog with philosophy!

was just thinking… he’s not going to get charged with burglary, and he likely won’t get charged with anything. if they decide to charge him, the most they could actually pin is trespass, and those are next to impossible to prove. so it’s not a winnable situation, especially since all the tow truck company wants is their money, and all tony wants is to go free.

1. - like he did with Marcus Thomas? ’Cause MT played all season last year, has the rings, etc.?

55 replies and still no Simpsons references? For shame.

One of the towing services in State College, PA is “Walk’s Towing”. I’m sure it’s just a family surname, but whatever. Fucking insulting, anyway.

Rumor has it that Kyle Jackson actually was trying to get the car out of impound but he took the wrong angle and missed the gate altogether— leaving Joiner as the fall guy.

I can just hear the phone conversation now:
Lot attendant: “That colored guy that we just had arrested is Tony Joiner”
Owner: “I don’t care if he’s Jeb Bush”
Lot attendant: “But …….”
Owner: " Shit !!! you mean TONY JOINER ??"
Attendant: “Yeah, the bawl player”
Owner: " SHit .. umm .. yeah … tell the cops we had an arrangement to pick up the car, and you fucked it up."
Attendant:" But …."
Owner: “YOU FUCKED IT UP”

I’d be willing to wager my next paycheck the employees or owner of that towing company will have some nice seats in the swamp for at least the rest of this season. Something is rotten in Gainesville.

What the cops saw: car removed from impound lot w/o authorization = second degree felony.

What Urban Meyer saw: player out past curfew = run me some laps.

These charges will be dropped, I guaranteeeeee u.

Watson will become an honorary Bull Gator.

Fotbaw Rulz!