RICH BROOKS HAS A WORD FOR ALL THIS.

You know, sadness is for suckers. Anger? No. Anger is an energy, anger is a gift, and anger properly applied can do all kinds of things, like getting you into a fight with a stranger and landing you in jail, or getting you to hijack a plane at a small residential airport, start the engines, and drive it around the interstate without taking off at 125 miles an hour. Both interesting and potentially educational experiences, as well as felonies, sure--but at least they get you out of the house.
And when Papa Chaos comes at your door, you know what Kentucky coach Rich Brooks does? He tells him to fuck off, because he thinks it's bullshit. In looking for reasons to smile today as a football fan, we looked high and low.
And yet only two things brought us out of the funk of a snapped 11 game win streak:
1. A 12 year old threw us a touchdown pass in a pickup game on Saturday. Pressure in his face, all of five feet tall, through two defenders and into our hands. Just a blistering, perfect spiral we didn't even have to clench--the friction of the ball spinning stuck it to the palms and fingers. It was flawless and ineffably beautiful. He had a shit-eating grin on his face that exceeded valuation in currency or commodity.
2. This picture of Rich Brooks giving blood, because he really does look like he thinks this is all bullshit. We know he's fond of the word bullshit, but just take a look at that face and tell us he thinks there's five things in this world that aren't bullshit besides scotch, kickass football, Mrs. Brooks, The Wild Bunch, and a nice leather armchair. Because he doesn't, asshole. There's bullshit all around him, especially this doctor bullshit he's going through at the moment, and then the press conference bullshit, and then the bullshit dinner he's got to talk at when they give him some bullshit rubber chicken and ask him to bullshit about kickass football when he could be drinking scotch, watching The Wild Bunch, and checking out Mrs. Brooks' gams as he sits in his plush leather armchair.
And today, that's all the inspiration we need.
Rich Brooks, when reached for this article, thought it was complete bullshit.--ed
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42 comments
Comments
You better start focusing on LSU Orson… this guy will be a loser again before you know it
by Futbawl Fan on Oct 1, 2007 5:51 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Do we even have ONE Kentucky fan reading this blog?
by Futbawl Fan on Oct 1, 2007 5:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
And now you know half of what its like to be Reggie Ball: “[Acts like a] 12 year old…Pressure in his face, all of five feet tall…”
by Brian on Oct 1, 2007 5:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Rich Brooks a scotch drinker with those sweats? That’s is a Bud tallboy drinkers outfit.
by Vol Navy on Oct 1, 2007 6:02 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Why did you caption a picture of Robert Duvall with some shit about Kentucky’s head coach?
by Oops Pow Surprise on Oct 1, 2007 6:02 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Did you ever write the commish about the crackback block you received?
by Brandon Cox's Vagina on Oct 1, 2007 6:07 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
No. Whiners go to the commish. Winners take their slammening and walk it off, son.
Rich Brooks thinks it’s bullshit to complain to the commish.
by Orson Swindle on Oct 1, 2007 6:19 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
He isn’t giving blood. He’s having his blood replaced, a la Keith Richards.
One of the reasons he got run out of the Pac-10. Rich Brooks loves to slam smack.
by UCLA Mob on Oct 1, 2007 6:20 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
#2
kentucky fans think this site is bullshit.
by gerry dorsey on Oct 1, 2007 6:25 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Yes there is at least one Ky fan who reads EDSBS, and I might add, thoroughly enjoys it. I must also say that the writing here is most exceptional, with a few exceptions of course. Having been a Ky fan for the past 30 years or so I have learned not to run my mouth pregame. I’ll give out all the grief anybody from Louisville or Arkansas wants to put up with, but I’ll wait to do my crowing after any games. As my good friend JL says, “never pass up the opportunity to just STFU”. I have found it to be sound advice. I’ll leave here Wednesday morning cautiously optomistic that we can finally kick the dogshit out of the OBC and maybe even run up the score, just because we can. But, I won’t say that until it happens. Then finally, as a former postal worker and one licensed to pack, I would urge caution when making pitiful jokes about Ky and Ky football. You never know when I might show up on your doorstep, and we know where everybody lives. Think about that for a minute. :-)
by citiesaregreat on Oct 1, 2007 6:34 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Kentucky fans are used to STFU because they have been burned so many times – more than any team ever, that’s a fact. If you take the most hard luck BCS team and multiply their agony times eight, then add four, that’s Kentucky football. I think they probably have the most sad history of any program with fans who care about their team. Vandy, Northwestern, etc., they’re used to it, but Kentucky never gets used to it. They’re like Charlie Brown, always trying again to kick the football….this year, by God, they nailed it.
I am a Louisville fan but I have genuine respect for UK, especially Woodson, who seems like a good kid and a great player. I think they’ll get second in the East when it’s all said and done.
Any development that brings exciting college football to the Commonweatlh is OK by me.
by SDF Fan on Oct 1, 2007 6:49 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
lolbrooks:
can I has scotch plz kthx. scotch has a flavur.
by R.D. Baker - Retired Blogger on Oct 1, 2007 6:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
How to you say your a KY fan and not just bust out laughing….do you use the hot and tingly KY or the flavored KY? Personally when I think of KY, I think of some lithium based lubricant that wont go away no matter if you scrub it with a Brillo pad.
by Baby-Faced Genius on Oct 1, 2007 7:11 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
SDF Fan
Well said friend. 100 cities for you.
by citiesaregreat on Oct 1, 2007 7:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
If Kentucky is the Charlie Brown of football, then this is Kentucky football this year:
http://www.ifilm.com/video/2668909
It was done by the Simpsons writers back in the day.
Too funny, you can only push Charlie Brown into a corner so far before he comes out blazing….
by Baby-Faced Genius on Oct 1, 2007 7:15 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Well, babyface, it’s easy to see how you spend your time. You might want to get your mind of the jelly.
by citiesaregreat on Oct 1, 2007 7:17 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
14 – You may be overlubing.
Also, Kentucky has fans?
by Biggus Rickus on Oct 1, 2007 7:18 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
You have no idea. It’s a long story, but just trust me on this one. They are real, they are legion, they are out of their fucking trees.
by Holly on Oct 1, 2007 7:27 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
#18, they have Ashley Judd. Pretty much trumps everyone else, no?
by Reasonable_Bama_Fan on Oct 1, 2007 7:28 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
BFG, you tricked me into watching two seconds of a Tag ad, which only someone who revels in his total brainlessness could enjoy. May you burn in hell…
by Tom on Oct 1, 2007 7:36 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Eh, if you’re going the “bullshit” route, go with Penn Gillette. Now there is a man who knows how to say “BULLSHIT!”
by Flibbetigibbet on Oct 1, 2007 7:39 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
#20:
Over-rated. Clap-clap-clapclapclap.
by PeteJayhawk on Oct 1, 2007 7:45 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Biggus Rickus
I would suggest that you refer to pictures of the Music City Bowl last year to determine if Ky has any football fans. Holly is right as well as well as being endo..hold… well you know what I mean. It’s just too bad she’s a Volunteer fan. No offense intended, of course.
by citiesaregreat on Oct 1, 2007 7:56 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Tom,
That link works. Its funny,or simply youtube or google
“Bring me the Head of Charlie Brown”, its real I swear.
The last time I thought I was going on a date with a Kentucky hooker, it turned out to be a sheep with a wig ,black bra and stockings and wearin high heels. At the game, it turned out I wasnt the only one with a “date”. All I had to do to get lucky is feed her hay. Gettin the heels off was a bitch, kinda hard for her to jump in the bed with 4 high heels on.
by Baby-Faced Genius on Oct 1, 2007 8:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
bfg
I can see now why you have the fixation on jelly. Sheep? Why would anybody, including a fucking genius want to screw a sheep? Give it a rest.
by citiesaregreat on Oct 1, 2007 8:38 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
bfg
It really says alot about your geniusness that you feel lucky to get it on with a sheep. I am impressed.
by citiesaregreat on Oct 1, 2007 8:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Well, I knew their basketball fans were legion and out of their trees (Bama of basketball, expectations impossible to meet and a crazed zeal rarely seen outside of cults), but I didn’t realize they understood football enough to care one way or the other.
by Biggus Rickus on Oct 1, 2007 9:01 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
the joke is the Kentucky Hooker part. I know Kentucky hookers arent sheep, their goats.
by Baby-Faced Genius on Oct 1, 2007 9:14 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Note to all: Make a trip to Lexington. UK is hottie mecca
by Mr. Bentley on Oct 1, 2007 9:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I guess if you’re Rich Brooks you’re predisposed not to sweat the small stuff. When you have a monstrous lobster claw for a left hand, life’s little upsets just don’t count for much in comparison.
by BillyCannonIsMyCo-Pilot on Oct 1, 2007 11:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
#29,
Most UK fans don’t understand football, but it doesn’t stop them from applying their fanatical obsession for all things “ewe-kaye” to the enterprise. (This also applies to my fellow basketball crazed UofL fans.) It is beyond annoying to hear the local sports media in Kentucky try desperately to make analogies to the college basketball paradigm, simply because they are too football-illiterate to say anything intelligent. They know nothing about the game or the very basic history of the most famous teams. Without EDSBS and other blogs, I would be hopelessly bereft.
As Holly pointed out, UK fans have a special brand of obsession. They don’t need any reason or justification to be totally jacked for their team. It’s like an entire football fan base that has the attention span of 5 days – they never remember the previous week, much less the previous year or decades of football. This trait can either be viewed as admirable loyalty or contemptable delusion, and leads directly to the Charlie Brown-type letdowns discussed above.
All this said, I repeat my earlier statement – UK is clicking on all cylinders, and their fans are in heaven right now. God bless ’em. Hopefully UofL will return to form soon so we can restore order to the galaxy.
by SDF Fan on Oct 1, 2007 11:45 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
- I don’t own any sweats.
And whoever said ashley judd is overrated needs his chickenbag smashed with a claw hammer.
by Scalz1 on Oct 2, 2007 8:46 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Damn SDF Fan. I’ll give you the sports writers comments, but you are way off base after that. It’s called being a fan. Period. Your comment about an “entire fan base” is nothing but bullshit, as Rich would say. I asure you that I can remember last week as well as last year and many before that. Delusional my ass. Yes, the years of Ky being successful on the football field have been few and far between, but with the support that this administration and athletic department have for the program, I believe those days are coming to an end. This isn’t your father’s Ky football team and program.
by citiesaregreat on Oct 2, 2007 9:04 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
[Mickey Mouse voice] “Intensity!”
Didn’t Kentucky start the craze of giant quarterbacks?
by SunDawg on Oct 2, 2007 9:26 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
34,
By your description, they sound exactly like South Carolina fans. With so much mass delusion in Columbia Thursday, there could very well be a crying Virgin Mary sighting.
by Biggus Rickus on Oct 2, 2007 9:27 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Cities/36,
Your response to my post is Exhibit 1 in favor of my argument.
Ruckus/34,
They are exactly alike. To the outsider, USC/UK might seem like a good game between two programs on a good year, but inside those fan bases, Thursday night is going to be the ‘85 Bears vs. ’90 49ers. The team that wins will have good reason to hold their head up high…but it just won’t stop there.
by SDF Fan on Oct 2, 2007 10:25 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Biggus – There is one similarity between both teams in Columbia Thursday night for sure: both have defeated UGA in their last meeting. Seems to be pretty common among your SEC East opponents right now, however.
by Out of Conference on Oct 2, 2007 1:57 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
OOC,
That makes their fan bases no less delusional. It just means Georgia went on a shitty five (seven if you count the two close calls against awful teams prior to the losses) game run midway through last year. Also, that makes one in a row for both of those teams. WOOO!
by Biggus Rickus on Oct 2, 2007 4:16 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
SDF fan, don’t give up your day job. Your skills at making a point are sadly lacking. But here’s a City for you anyway.
by citiesaregreat on Oct 2, 2007 5:38 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

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