JIM HARBAUGH WANTS YOU TO WASH YOUR FILTHY HANDS

Hysterical. +100 cocktails…

+ the 100 cockatils as usual

Thanks for getting my mind off of Louisville football for the moment with your uncanny depiction of tired and true ass-itch-relief methods. Harbaugh should work for Red Cross or something.

ps: EDSBS got a mention in the Louisville Courier-Journal today: http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070928/COLUMNISTS02/709280486/1002/SPORTS

I’ll kill every god-damn one of you if we get another Staph couch cause you dipshits didn’t wash your GOD DAMN HANDS!!

I always wash my hands. Mostly because I don’t know where they’ve been.

I come for the college football analysis. I stay for turns of phrase like “spunk sprinkler” and “toxic tortellini.”

That’s much better than Pat Summit’s “Remember not to shake more than twice and Buy Lady Vol’s Tickets” ad campaign.

And make sure you wash your hands after touching that fuck lion!

Or the “Pinch it short, wipe it deep, returning to glory in ’07” promotion launched by Weis and co.

But cheesecake is always ok to touch, even if it has a bit of sand in the cheeks.

i was picking my nose the entire time i read this…and i’m not gonna wash my hands.

God, my legs are filthy.

for the Big Televen tv spots: “Hi, I’m Marques Slocumb, and be sure to wipe down the Fuck Lion before and after use. I wish Coach Carr had warned me about it in Freshman Orientation. It’s too late for me, but not for you Lawyas out there!”

Hilarious – laughed so hard I just shot a stream of urine all over my electric stapler. You owe me one electric stapler.

Wash your hands. Don’t forget your towel.

You think the Orgeron washes his mitts after a fresh kill ? E coli knows better than to mess with Coach O.

I passed the bar! Roll Tide bitches. That is all.

A Stand reference. Brilliant. Fucking, brilliant.

Willie Williams just lit two massive joints on fourth street for you.

And the hangover feels just a touch better. Thank you sir. I award you a gold star and say that you may go to recess early today.

Coming Soon: FSU’s “Stop cheating on tests / buy Seminole tickets” campaign.

Just remember Harbaugh was coaching in this kind of enviroment last year,

http://www.juphotos.com/photos/main/viewimage-2824-fb.juvssd.1108_3146.htm

wouldn’t you wash your hands with those type of fans following you on the road (fatty McButterpants in the back cheering)

FYI

JU takes on Davidson this saturday at noon in Jacksonville

(and I think there is a another game in town too)

Does a bird bath count?

Harbaugh just jumped umpteen points on my list of common sense avengers. I witness countless office hacks who scowl at the notion of utilizing soap and water after tugging on the spunk sprinkler or wiping the brown eye. For God’s sake; the soap dispenses itself, the water turns on automatically. All you have to do is grap a towlette and dry up! 100 cocktails for one Mr. Jim Harbaugh!

Is Harbaugh holding his playbook scribbled on a paper napkin?

Better than the “wash your hands, millions of lives could depend on it” campaign in my office last flu season

“as dangerous as a lit flamethrower in the hands of an angry chimpanzee.”

need I say more?
f’ing brilliant.

“Remember two things…

When It’s Brown, Flush It Down!

&

Make Me Michigan’s Head Coach!"

Actually, those two might be kind of related… not like watching Stanford football is any more productive than holding your dick.

Is Harbaugh holding his playbook scribbled on a paper napkin?

No, it’s toilet paper – cuz his playbook is butt.

Props for the “The Stand” reference. Now if we could only get Saban photoshopped as Randall Flagg.

This is also better than Rutgers’ “You could watch a minority read in the library, or you could buy Scarlet Knights Football tickets.”

True story: A Stanford man and Cal man are pissing at urinals at the same time. The Cal man finishes first and begins to walk toward the door. The Stanford man says to him, at Stanford we wash our hands after taking a piss. The Cal man replies, at Cal we don’t piss on our hands.

re: The “true story”
John, i’m pretty sure that joke was written by Aristophanes about SPARTA!!! The ywashed their hands with the blood of young children anyway.

Tommy Bowden would like to remind Clemson fans:
1.) Lock the barn door tight so that your animals and wife don’t escape.
2.) Buy Clemson Season tickets.

A health tip and face time in a Louieville rag; well played, Sir!

+100 Cocktails…best piece this week.

Now, I’ve gotta get back to dragging the caboose on the Persian rug…

The absolute funniest thing I’ve read all week long.

I saw a similar picture in the men’s washroom at the White Sox game. It was of Carlton Fisk, but I didn’t have enough balls to snap a picture in the men’s washroom.

Makes sense when you realize that in context, it is Stanford we’re talking about.

GO BEARS!

“I won’t even talk about the times you actually creep the hand down the asscrack, between the cheeks, and into the musty, toxic tortellini of the asshole itself for a 360 degree scouring of your filthy tailpipe.”

That, sir, is literature at its most desciptive. BRAVO!

#15: a healthy “What the fuck am I doing with my life now?” to you sir, especially when you have that 17th straight day of existing purely on caffeine, benzos, and malice! Congrats.

Remember These Two Things:

Use Wash Cloths
Don’t Jam The Bar of Soap In Your Butt

-Leonard Washington

Wash
Don’t Jam That Bar of Soap In Your Butt

-Leonard Washington

Damn, Orson…“spunk sprinkler”, like “dick mitten” made me spew my libation onto my keyboard. My secretary fuckin’ hates you as she is also my computer expert/cleaner.

Oh, and a dog scraping its ass across the carpet is called “Butt-surfing”. In case you wondered.

Martini time…Go Gators! Beat Auburn! See ya’ll if you’re in the Level 7 Suites.

1. I couildn’t view the picture you posted, but I have to wonder what kind of crack you are smoking if you don’t think the University of San Diego is a nice environment.

Jay Whitlow says that if you want to see something really fucking nasty you need to stop over this weekend and see eric y’s fucking nasty stinky wife. She only takes a bath on the first of the month and that bath is not even something to brag about. She washes the family’s four dogs first in the bath water before getting in. And she spends 10 hours a day chopping up chickens in the damn chicken packaging plant. She has been know to come home from work with chicken feathers stuck up her assssss. Jay Whitlow can guarantee that eric y’s wife is the nastiest bitch on the planet. Sammie has run some kind of fuckin stat program on her ungody filth and he says he can prove that she is, indeed, a filthy, chickin-fuckin piece of shit.
jay whitlow and eric y

My office needs a:

“Flush the goddam urinal after you piss in it, you filthy fucking animal”

campaign

And, oh yeah, go buy some tickets or something. To anything.

Jim Harbaugh is what would happen if Steve Stifler grew up to become a football coach.

At Stanford we wash our hands with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind. Like everything else we do.

Speaking of Stanfurd and pee…

It’s half time at the Big Game. Fans go to the far reaches to find a bathroom. A Cal man is next to a Stanford man at their urinals. They finish and zip up. The Stanford man proceeds to the sink to wash his hands, while the Cal man immediately makes for the exit.

The Stanford man says, “At Leland Stanford Junior University they teach us to wash our hands after we urinate.”
The Cal man replies, “At Cal they teach us not to piss on our hands.”