AFTERNOON DELIGHT

By the way, I love this site. Y’all are hilarious, informative, and easily the highlight of my day, considering I spend most of it in the Law School library. But why the urge to mock former/current fraternity members? In the Deep South, we certainly do not say such things as “brah” and “fucking tight!” Such ridiculous phrases are reserved from the gelled-hair, visor-wearing, Abercrombie-sporting “frat guys” from the North or the West. We did not, nor ever shall, condone such language/conduct from the fraternity men at Ole Miss. Hotty Toddy boys.

Go ahead and laugh about our team now. But our Cocks are up and coming.

Does beating a cock…?

It depends on if the cock gets creamed.

Ba-dum-bum!

I don’t know if it counts as an “Afternoon Delight”.
Sometimes it passes as “work” for me, though.

I wonder if the DKE “Afternoon Delight” theme party followed…

Gonna grab my cock
Gonna hold it tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto’s always been
When it’s right it’s right
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night

When your roommate’s over at his girlfriend’s place
And you don’t know just how long he’ll stay

Pop a porno in the player
Pull the shades down tight
Lookin’ forward to a little afternoon delight
Little KY on the palm
To make it feel alright
And the action on the screen is getting so excitin’

Splooge stream is in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Next team that beats USC will beat a Smelley Cock.

1. - I can picture Champ Kind with the Booooooo-wips on the last two lines.

Biggus Ruckus FTW!

So far this year at Alabama, the DKE’s have had signs saying “Bama’s bout to bust a NUTT” and “Make like Mick Vick and Murder some Dawgs.”

After Fran left for Texas A&M, they had a sign up that was something like “Fran, you may have moved to Texas, but your daughter’s flower will always live in Tuscaloosa.”

#7

The Smelley Cock will get Croomed.

#10

With their new house location, how can you miss it? Nice to see the DKEs haven’t changed a lick since my MBA days in the 70s.

1. - you forget that most of the “frat guys” in gainsville probably are from the northeast

#1

Word.

“I’m sure the Cock jokes never get old to South Carolina fans – nor do Oregon State fans pray daily that they had come up with a different name.”

-Lucious Pusey

The question is, which way do I try to get it in her?
Maybe I’ll put it in her brownie.

1. 1
   Yes, only frat guys from the North and West suck. The ones frm the south rule!!
   Kind of like saying, the level of football is better in the south than the north and west…………oh wait.

Deltaaaaaaaaaaa!

I spent a number of childhood Saturdays at Parker Stadium in Corvallis watching the Beavers lose, and there never seemed to be anything funny about the nickname to me then. Of course, in the ‘70s in Oregon there was no equivalent to today’s Carolina co-eds walking around with the letters “COCKS” on their shorts either.

Was it ever anywhere near that easy for kids who grew up around Columbia to totally miss the double entendre?

Eh, maybe it was just me. I was ever so innocent back then. Before I hit…ummm…thirty.

I love lamp. I love desk.

But not carpet?

1. — so let me get this straight. All the obnoxious frat boy types are located solely on the other side of the Mason-Dixon line, whereas those in the deep South are all gentlemen and scholars that every woman wants to be with and every man wants to be like? Uh, riiiiiiight. Is this like the greek equivalent of the “SEC speed rulz!!!!” argument?

#16, Dan F—

Damn, I got busy at work. I knew I should have refreshed before I posted. Great minds, sir, great minds.

i’m as big an sec homer as anyone…but frat boys everywhere tend to be heavy on the douche.

gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
gonna grab some afternoon delight.

It’s because they’re easy targets, like a finishing school for Dane Cook clones. And we thrive on easy targets.

#21,
No, it’s more of the “Southerners don’t use hair gel or visit tanning salons” argument.

#21
Apparently, you missed my argument. I simply argued that a blanket statement concerning fraternity men contains no legitimacy, especially when phrases like “brah” and “fucking tight” are used in reference to the LSU Dekes. I said that such language is not used by fraternity men in the South, and I am correct. Also, some fraternity guys, whether in the South or not, may be terrible people. I admit that, but here’s another thing to think about: A lot of the independents whom wear all black, sit cross-legged on the Student Union steps, and complain all day about how the “frat guys” are such conformist tools are pretty miserable themselves. And while some of us may be obnoxious, particularly on Gameday, at least we aren’t wearing hair gel and black shirts. Do not try to engage in an argument with me. The South is clearly a better place to be on Fall Saturdays, due to our superiority in both football and fraternity men. You, Sir, are of far inferior intelligence than I am, and your inability to bring forth a substantial argument grounded in anything more than a weak attempt at sarcasm is pathetic. You may be riiiiiight, but I am correct.

Fraternity > Marching Band.

Whether you are in the North, South, East, or West, there are a lot of Frat Boys that are total douche bags and a lot that are good people.

I never felt the need to join one – I am good at making friends on my own and don’t feel the need to be told who I can and cannot hang out with.

Hook ’Em Horns!
Go Irish!

28,
Good for you! You made a decision based upon what was best for you. However, that was not a decision that I, nor many other people, deemed best. Does that mean my decision to join a fraternity is any less meritorious than your choice to not join one? I think that would be applying a double standard, something normally frowned upon by our society. To imply the notion that people join a fraternity because they would not ordinarily be able to make friends on their own, and that they need to be told how to act and what to do, is to show your true ignorance on the condition of the fraternity system. I joined a fraternity for the same reason I played high school football: to be a part of something bigger and better than myself. I had to sacrifice individual wants for the greater good, and it made me a better man. I worked during college to help pay for my dues, and that by itself made me a better person. I made friends in high school without the fraternity, and I could have done the same in college. In fact, I had many friends beyond my fraternity, including many people that were Independents. The fact that some of my best friends in this world were in my fraternity does not make them any less of my friends. We went through difficult situations together, just like teammates in high school football, so we share a bond sometimes not formed in other developments of friendship. I do not question your motives for not joining a fraternity, so why do you feel the need to attack those of us who do as socially incompetent? Is it that you may be jealous? Because that’s what it seems like to me. And I always thought it was supposed to be the fraternity guys who were intolerant.

Tom, your argument is sooo fucking tight, bro! We should grab a chicken “sangwich” together.

Jesus, Tom. Throw some double-spaces or indentations in those epic sons-a-bitches, bra.

ah, thats better then their previous 2 sheets I guess:

First one was something like:
Michael Vick, Derek Todd Lee is looking for a new cellmate.

Derek Todd Lee was a serial killer in Baton Rouge that killed a couple of co-eds a few years ago.

and after that
Hey O.J. I guess the glove fit after all.

I am banned, apparently…

That’s why I joined the biggest fraternity of all.. The Freemasons…dont worry, we’ve only began to dominate the world as you know it

1. Biggus – that was funny as hell!

My mistake, orson

Personally, I would have declined any offer from a fraternity on Marxist grounds.

(Groucho, not Karl.)

Hey Dane, I hope you’re under sixteen years old, b/c any grown ass man that would refer to himself as another man is really, really pathetic. And bonghit, what an awesome name! Apparently, you smoke pot. What a rebel! What a badass! Get a job and cut your hair.

Airport restroom stalls : Afternoon delight

/Sen. Larry Craig (R-Dumb Fuck Land)

Wow, Tom sure is a smart frat boy.
Meritorious? Are you kidding me?

And yes, I think we all know what it means.

1. +1, sir. I also have Groucho Marx Syndrome.