I guarantee this man is from Alberta.

That anti-aging medicine Wilford Brimley is taking sure seems to be working well.

Wonder if it will help his dia-beet-us?

Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes

Today we salute you, Mr. Horse Whisperer

The Orgeron is not impressed. He would have depantsed and challenged those show ponies to a bare knuckle brawl.

A bite to the ear will stymie any creature
-Evander H.

I think he got the horses to stop stampeding by making them think that his mustache was actually 2 bales of hay.

I cant help it, I just want to get my weed eater and trim that shit back a lil. I think I have landscapers OCD.

The odds of that story being true are 6,000 to 1. The only “source” is the guy himself. And it’s from the Daily Oklahoman. You know, that paper that guy Gundy all riled up.

Belgian draft horses, in case you didn’t know…

Mmmmmmm, Belgian draft.

(Yeah, I know, it’s improperly spelled, but reading the words still conjured images of Delirium Tremens and St Bernardus Abt 12)

I didn’t realize it, but Coach Sauter bears a slight resemblance to the OSU mascot Pistol Pete.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/4c/Pete_pc_color.png/180px-Pete_pc_color.png

1. - Not to be too much of a smartass, but is that a real quote? If not, wouldn’t it make more sense coming from Mike Tyson?

8 – who the fuck makes up stories about biting a horse’s ear? as a lawya, i consider myself a tremendous liar, and i’ve made up plenty of stories about scrumping drunk hots and fighting gigantic brutes, but biting the ear of gigantic horse? that would take some serious imagination, more imagination than that possessed by a minor league hockey coach

and here’s a link to a pic of a belgian draft
http://www.themercantile.net/about_us/Radar_Ladder.jpg

after scrotum-ripping and gundy’s melt, it’s nice to have a story of violence out of oklahoma that can make us all proud – +100 cocktails to you, fine sir – even the orgeron thinks you’re a real man

i give mad props to this mustache wednesday if for no other reason than it required significantly more research than typing “wacky mustache” into a google image search.

I didn’t realize it at first, but Coach Sauter bears a slight resemblance to OSU’s mascot, Pistol Pete.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/4c/Pete_pc_color.png/363px-Pete_pc_color.png

I’ll bet he even walks around with six-shooters strapped to his waist.

You wanna write something, write about ME! I’m Fo’tie!
Don’t write about them horses, that got their hearts broken! I’m a man! Thats why I dont read the paper!
You got horses? Ever had a horse get made fun of because one of its ears were bitten off? Well someday I hope you have horses, that gets their hearts broken and its ears bitten off so you can explain it.

4

Whatever, If The Orgeron had been there, he would have been an active participant in the stampede with his equine brethren.

After looking at the linked pic in #11 above, I am convinced that this man must be 10 feet tall in order to bite the beast’s ear. I think he also is a second cousin of BILL BRASKEY!

i can only say this makes me proud to be an oklahoman. in national news twice in one week? what are the odds that it does with an uppity leprechaun (gundy) and a paul bunyon looking mother fucker (sauter)

Goes about 7’8", 465, could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing and taught his son how to drive by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Bill said it would’ve happened sometime.

TO BILL BRASKY!

We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.

No. 10— No, to my knowledge that is not a real quote from the Real Deal. I thought it would be funny if Evander were to have said it, however, because he would have personal knowledge of such. He could be like, “Yep, I relate to that horse’s pain. A bite to the ear definitely stymie’s yo ass.” Mike T. would also work because he could be like, “Basically, I relate to Mr.Sauter and concur with his summation regarding the biting of ear and the reaction thereto.” That one could really go either way. If I had to post it over again, I’d still go with Evander, however, simply because I don’t like Mike T.

That little spiel took me 1 minute closer to happy hour, woo hoo!

Brasky once drank a gallon of pure methane, woke up 6 months later and said “I prefer scotch”.

They use Brasky’s foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankee stadium.

To save everyone the trouble of repeating the skit….please carry on with the original ones.

“Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch!”

“Bill Brasky is the father of every kid in this town!”

“Bill Brasky once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!”

“One time I was with Brasky in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Brasky goes up to the deer and says, ’I’m Bill Brasky! SAY IT!’ Then he manipulates the deer’s lips in such a way as to make it say, ‘Billbrasky’ … It wasn’t exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!’”

“He’d eat a homeless person if you dared him!”

“His poop is used as currency in Argentina.”

“He sweats Gatorade”

“He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health.”

“He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! …….And he hated irony!”

“I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury.”

“He sheds his skin once a year.”

“He makes brooms somewhere in Georgia.”

“He did 3 tours in ‘Nam…… I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago. I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his name. Sure enough it’s Ho Tran Brasky!”

“I once saw him eat a whole live chicken.”

“His favorite movie is ‘One on One’ with Robby Benson.”

“He sleeps eight hours a night! …….. well, he was pretty normal when it came to that.”

“Bill Brasky was a two ton man-mountain who could palm a medicine ball!”

“Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, ‘Here we are.’ We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, ‘Always leave things the way you found em!’”

“Bill Brasky had a four day heart attack…a day for each chamber. At the autopsy, they said his heart looked like a basketball filled with riccotta cheese.”

“He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.”

“He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child.”

“They found $60 in change in his stomach.”

“He did all the makeup on the ‘Planet of the Apes’ movie.”

“He grew a 3rd arm and kept it in a vault.”

“Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8 months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, ‘All in all, I prefer gin.’”

“They say Gene Roddenbery got the idea for Star Trek from listening to Brasky talk in his sleep.”

“He date raped David Bowie.”

“He once inhaled a seagull.”

“The Pope told him it was ok to have a mistress.”

“It was the sight of Brasky’s naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane.”

“He once had sex with a cigarette machine.”

“He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident.”

“He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel.”

“He once ate the Bible while water skiing.”

“He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.”

“He sired a baseball team.. an orchestra if you count the bastards!”

“You know, he would shoot whiskey into his neck with a syringe!”

“He has dandruff the size of mice!”

“He jogged with a fridge on his back!”

“Bill Brasky was a 10 foot monster who slept with all our wives! And punched us all in the face! And we loved him for it!”

“His first name is Bill! ……. I’m drunk.”

“He’s a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi.”

“He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen.”

“He went public with his own buttocks and made $7 million.”

“Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he’s going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives…except Fleagle.”

“We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.”

“Brasky once hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart.”

“He has a toenail on the end of his penis.”

“Brasky once got his wife pregnant and gave birth to a delicious 16 ounce steak. The after birth was sauteed mushrooms.”

“Brasky’s family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong.”

“Brasky ranked 18th in the AP College Football Pool.”

“Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was in a production of, ‘The King & I?’ On opening night, Brasky chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews.”

“He breastfeeds John Madden.”

“Brasky named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did NOT want to be called that.”

“If you drop a phonograph needle on Brasky’s nipple, it plays the Beach Boys’ ‘Pet Sounds.’”

“They use Brasky’s foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankee stadium.”

“Brasky directed that commercial where the women play basketball in high heels.”

“All the ‘Yes’ album covers are Brasky family photos.”

“He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.”

“Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive? He did it by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Brasky said it would’ve happened sometime.”

“Brasky’s semen can form into a liquid human – like the guy from ‘Terminator 2’”

“Brasky still believes in Santa Claus, and he wants to put him in porno films.”

“He thinks then iron man is gay.”

“He framed Roger Rabbit.”

“The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky – except for the apple tree planting and not raping men.”

“He gave a handjob to a manta ray.”

Well there went all the joy in Mudville. Thanks domer.

Sheesh, talk about the Grinch that stole Christmas.
Also, now you can insert Nick Saban where Brasky used to be. Now that you mentioned it, Nick Saban dug up Braskys body and skull fucked him.

"You bite as hard as you can, and it won’t move."

Actually, that works on me, too.

I wouldn’t have believed it myself, but I learned this summer that biting a horse’s ear really is the way to immobilize it. I was at a rodeo in Nebraska this summer and they had a contest where cowboys had to put a saddle on a wild mustang, get on the horse, and then take it for one lap around the track. Next to Tim Tebow running over some poor linebacker, it’s one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen — I thought some of those horses were going to kill one of those cowboys.

Anyway, a woman behind me in the crowd was related to one of the cowboys (who won the race by riding what I thought was the most pissed off horse I’ve ever seen, by the way) and she told me that one of the teams was known for cheating. I asked her how the hell could anyone cheat at this? She said that some cowboys would bite the horses ears to immobilize them — that this was an old Indian trick. Apparently this really works. So there you go, at least this part of the story is true.

That ’stache is walrusian.

david crosby thinks this dude’s ’stache is “just ok.”

Sauter’s mustache is an official Oklahoma Centennial event.

I don’t know where you guys find this stuff but that is some hard core shit. Let’s put him in the same backfield as Tebow.

The Swedish Chef of Sesame Street fame.

1. aside. Who the fuck knows that biting a horse in the ear will stop it in its tracks?

Biting a horse’s ear? Sounds like a Myth Busters episode to me. Then they can do a Fuck Lion.

1. - Sauter’s from Fairlight, Saskatchewan. Definitely a ranch guy who handles horses when he’s not coaching puck. Must now what he’s doing – he runs the ranch of the team’s owner and show the owner’s clydesdales at shows across the country and in Canada.

He’s a former goalie in the Bruins organization – and in his first interview with the OKC media he talked of his miserable pro debut. Three shots faced, all goals between the legs. So distraught he was, he decided to "end it all – so [he] jumped in front of a bus… and it too went through his legs. Gotta love goalie humor.

eric y: No comment after Domer except that Sammie reports those really are pubic hairs in his beard and Sammie and Jay Whitlow want to know if he got them in the locker room or from the dog pound. Jay Whitlow says they look like dog hairs, though.