The zone read! YES! Excelsior!

Coach Fran shockingly unworried. Dennis Franchione remains unworried about his Texas A&M squad following their beating at the hands, feet, and tire irons of the Miami Hurricanes last Thursday night. Because that’s what captains do! At times like this, they develop grand strategies! And motivational speeches! Excelsior, Aggies! EXCELSIOR!!!

As for explaining why the Juggernaut Jorvorskie Lane got two carries the entire game against Miami, Franchione finally explained what happened. Hint: it involves strategy! And a map of the battlefield with little toy men and flags on it!

“They had two outstanding defensive ends,” Franchione said. “One of the ways that we hoped to neutralize them a little bit was with the zone read. We didn’t get the ball to the edge and do as much with it after that as we had hoped. I certainly wish it would have played out differently than that.”

Or that you’d watched Oklahoma run right up the fucking middle on them, another crazy response to a team with outstanding speed at the edge.

Can you make it all flaming, like it was covered in glorious hellfire? Arkansas fans are passing the hat for a banner to fly over Arkansas games calling for Houston Nutt’s head, a la the banner that flew over the Outback Bowl announcing “WE TOLD YOU SO” during the [NAME REDACTED] era. Spell check, people! And also note that after the banner flew for the anti-[NAME REDACTED]s, it still took a loss to coach-killer Sylvester Croom the following season to kill the beast.

In the meantime…sometimes even bleeding from the brain stem can’t keep you out of the booth. SEC officials, wielding their antigravity hammers of power, though, can.

Don’t fuck with the MEAC!!! North Carolina A&T and NC Central University got in a huge, pepper spray heavy brawl captured on video. We can’t embed the video, so go over to the Wiz to take a gander. If you don’t feel like clicking there, well, here’s another football fight that’s equally awesome in a totally different way.

Love me, love me. The Huskers claim they aren’t getting the support they crave. Hey! It was Ball State! They almost beat Michigan last…oh, never mind.