Heyo! This week’s blogpoll has the strength of not being done ten minutes before deadline, so bring the hatredcopter, haters. It’s…it’s…almost competent.

Adamant refusals to apologize and open challenges to fight you in the Thunderdome follow.

Rank Team Delta
1 LSU —
2 Southern Cal —
3 Oklahoma 1
4 West Virginia 1
5 Florida 2
6 California 2
7 Oregon 1
8 Wisconsin 5
9 Texas 3
10 Boston College 1
11 Ohio State 4
12 Rutgers 2
13 Kentucky 6
14 Clemson 2
15 Georgia 3
16 South Carolina 2
17 Cincinnati 9
18 Alabama 6
19 Missouri 4
20 Penn State 11
21 South Florida 4
22 Kansas 4
23 Arizona State —
24 Hawaii 2
25 Virginia 1

Dropped Out: Georgia Tech (#20), Nebraska (#21), UCLA (#22), Louisville (#25).

Open challenges to fight!

Poor-mouthing, my ass. Why WVU ahead of Florida? Because they’re pushes on offense and West Virginia, as far as we know, has at least one cornerback. That’s all. If Florida beats the huge, elephantine ears off Tuberville this weekend, then we’ll bounce them back up. Right now, a pass rush and ability to actually disrupt something the opposing offense differentiates the two, with Florida’s defense being a literal wall on the field: you can’t run into it, but you can certainly throw things over it at will. That’s going to asplode a-one of these games, and it may not the one you’re expecting at LSU, who hasn’t really thrown the ball at will…yet. Kentucky and Andre Woodson have us stocking up on the Bactine and aloe in advance, especially since Florida goes to Lexington.

Still gorilla/werewolf with chainsaw dick. USC’s a hair behind the Husqvarna-dicks in our mind. Cal gets the nod over Oregon pending this weekend’s result, since our readers have pointed out helpfully that Cal’s defense is actually stopping someone this year.

Respect Rutgers or die, motherfucker? When they beat someone of substance, they go into the top ten–as of now Mike Teel is second in the nation in passing efficiency, and he’s done this against harmless baby chick opponents. When he fights some bigass rooster of a team, they get in the henhouse. (Viva la agricultural metaphors!) Ditto for BC, who is just this close to getting in the top ten on Matt Ryan’s arm alone.

Other oddities, etc: Wisconsin has looked wobbly twice, but have actually beaten some people; Ohio State beat Washington, yes, but aside from being blinded by Jake Locker, the value of that and a Northwestern sacrifice lose out to Wisconsin’s more substantial conference win over Iowa. (Yes, even with palsied Balk-eye offense.)

More Big Ten revaluation with the rebirth of the Penn State absurdist offense and a huge plunge for them. Georgia bumps, Cocks droop, and we’re still unsure of how good Alabama is, so we hold a spot for them beneath awed-by-the-runway-and-lights Cincy. 20-24 is largely a muddle of high-scoring teams of dubious but sparkling record, and should be referred to as the 45 Point Block due to their habit of either scoring or giving up 45 points in every game.

Groh-mentum! We are not making this up. UVA gets the nod for being tied for the early lead in the ACC. Charisma, son, is for suckers and polygamists.