TRANSITIVE FOOTBALL HERPES, WEEK FOUR: BEWARE, CITIZEN.

wooo kangaroos.

Paterno remembers when herpes were the size of Volkswagens and roamed the plains unchallenged.

It’s a tough year to be a Michigan fan, but it must REALLY suck to be an ND or Penn State fan. Yay, schadenfreude!

Who will be the next victim of herpes simplex 1-AA? Bueller?

on saturday marques slocum was quoted as saying “man fuk dat sindarella man.”

NDSU should have beaten us last year, and now we get them in a transition year while flushing out Mason’s turds and bringing in EXCITING players.

Look out for Goldy to show up on that case study before too long, perhaps creating his own strain of the virus.

Stanford is immune to disease because it only admits human beings with unmatched genetics, be they physicists, engineers, Olympic athletes, skank daughters of the president, or whoever. You can not infect a genetically superior society!

/sarcasm

So what does this say about Wofford?

Shouldn’t Wofford be included since they beat ASU this weekend? They are spreading the herpes now.

It’s kinda creepy to imagine Joe Paterno and herpes in the same thought.

I think I just lost my appetite…

#7… I was thinking the same thing.

If Hot Hot Hot is patient zero for herpes, then what new and exciting disease are they infected with now that they lost to Wofford.

1. & #9, I was thinking the same thing, too.

(Incidentally, my father and grandfather both played football at Wofford. Had I gone to Wofford, I would have played, too. Go Terriers!!)

Yep, with the loss to Michigan I think Paterno may have stumbled upon a real-life, viable T-virus strain.

Now with every PSU victory college football comes one step closer to a zombie apocalypse.

appstate-mich-paterno-the orgeron?

I would guess Wofford practiced “safe football” and left its encounter with App State uninfected.

Looks like the boys in Palo Alto will need to disinfect their training room couch again.

Wofford couldn’t beat NC State, much less a kangaroo-joey tag team.

I would say that I hope JoePa passes the herpes on to Illinois this week but I’m pretty sure they already suffer from the [NAME REDACTED] strain.

I’m beginning to wonder if Louisville is next on the herpes list.

Saban alert – he mentioned during the first presser after a loss that he was not happy with the lack of class by the fans and he thought it was classless that a fan called one of his assistants – he didn’t come right out and say it, but it was implied that a call was made.

This guy has no buyout people!!!! He can leave after one year and go somewhere else.

The way she’s smirking, I think the Eddie Bauer lady just gave that dude the Herp.

Furman is going to beat Wofford for the eleventy billionth consecutive season, or since Wofford joined the SoCon, I think Wofford got them once so far actually, but then the Paladins will get rocked by App. The traditional 3 way tie, now without Ga. Southern involved, for the conference title will occur yet again, and all 3 will get bids to the 16 team playoff.

Welcome to the SEC of I-AA football, the SoCon.

Somebody should ask South Carolina what happened to them the last time they faced Furman and Citadel. Good times…

Coop: using the transitive property theorem, Clemson is now leading the ACC, the Big Televen and the Southern Conference. How do you like them apples?

As long as that T strain brings along Milla Jovovich with guns, count me in.

I can’t believe that some poor kangaroo has to be brought into this world with a v.d. just because Lloyd Carr cant defend the spread.

Beware Koala’s. Beware.

Jimer, koalas have enough problems with chlamydia as it stands. (I learned this today thanks to the internets and a cute baby white koala.)

Please, won’t someone think of the baby koalas?

FUPA Question:

Is it anatomically possible for Charlie Weis, FUPA and all, to ……….give anybody STD’s?

Cheeseburger Weis Joke:

A dedication ceremony was held Saturday morning for an Ara Parseghian statue located outside Notre Dame Stadium.

“So where are they going to put the statue of Charlie Weis, in the cafeteria?” wrote Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press.

You know, some teams fake herpes just to be able to ick up some hot ass at the herpes anonymous meetings.

ick = pick, although ick may work as well.

Actually….Weis has been banging ND really good lately, and has transferred the virus.

He did the anatomically impossible and effed himself.

This transitive reminds me of this:
There’s people on the street getting diseases from monkeys
Yeah, that’s what I said – they’re getting diseases from monkeys
Now there’s junkies with monkey disease
Who’s touching these monkeys, please
Leave these poor sick monkeys alone
They’ve got problems enough as it is.

Monkeys= App State
People= any team that comes into contact with them, although this disease is the inverse of the disease “RAGE”. Kinda like the disease version of Amway, you tell two friends, they tell two friends, then eventuallty the two friends come back and try to kill you.

NC State beat Wofford who beat App St, who beat Michigan, who beat Penn St, who beat Notre Dame. So…

NC State > Wofford > App St > Michigan > Penn St > Notre Dame, so…

NC State > Notre Dame. So take that, Domer ex-girlfriend.

Shouldn’t the transitive football herpes apply retroactively to the teams Penn State beat too?

Where did Louisville get infected w/ sleeping sickness on defense?

The Syracuse guy looked surprised on how open he was on that first play.

1. - To quote the now irrelevant Barenaked Ladies…

“Those apples are DELICIOUS…”

We are champions of the world! The world!

What’s an “NC State?” Is that a football team or something?

Stapler, it’s the Church of St. Valvano, in Raleigh.

We may have another strain of this emerge later in the year coming from Norther Iowa…and transmitted to whoever Iowa State or Iowa might manage to beat…

Beware Ball State. Or, following Kent’s lead, have they expressed a desire to be known simply as Ball?

ACC Football. Also known as: Pre-Season Entertainment before Basketball Season.

1. - The irony of your name is too much to bear.

I, like everyone else in the conference, laughed my ass off when Sendek left, and then you got option #6, at best, to be your head coach.

The man had to take online courses to get his undergraduate degree because he did actually finish State, he merely exhausted his eligibility.

However, you beat Carolina last year in Raleigh and you made it to conference tournament finals, where you, not surprisingly, lost to Carolina.

So, bravo to Lowe, as he has done a solid job of recruiting, and he obviously can handle the Xs and Os. Costner should be a stud this season.

Laugh if you will. I hear trees will tapdance and elephants will drive in the Indy 500 before NC State picks up National Championship #3 in b-ball, or something to that effect.

Funny thing about the name is it’s un-Sendek related. It’s my actual name (or at least one of ‘em). Sendek’s about the only other not-a-member-of-my-family Herb roaming the earth these days.

Genius. Pure genius.

#31—
I’ve visited the ND campus and all the women are Jenni Carlson clones. You can do much better, man.

#19
Get a fucking life

the nips are getting bigger.

1. —

You mean FIU, Notre Dame and Buffalo haven’t been infected with something already?

38

Upig fires Nutt, and Dick says he’ll transfer w/ him. So, we can have Ball being coached by Nutt with a Dick at QB.

Leading to this headline: Nutt praises Dick as Ball pounds Beavers

Footbal Herpes?