CURIOUS INDEX: 9/20/07

With any luck, after this weekend the media will put to bed this Juice Williams hype. Right now, as a soph, Kellen Lewis is better than Juice Williams will ever be, imo.

“…who they very nearly unmasked as being coached by Gary Pinkel…”

all i could think of when i read this was the end of a scooby doo episode.

"and i would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for that meddling [NAME REDACTED].

I did have a friend who lit a Coach Fran bobblehead on fire in a parking lot, and then pissed on it to put it out.

I’m not even an Alabama fan but Coach Fran can’t lose enough. For some reason, I really don’t like that guy. And I like Randy Shannon, especially from the really good piece on him from SI a few weeks back. I want to see an old-school Miami ass-kicking tonight.

Sadly, I think the Orange Bowl will be half-full and Aggies win 10-7 in a game so boring your eyes bleed.

“he kind of ran into me and kind of pulled up and said ‘whoa, whoa, whoa’ as if I were going to deliver a hit to him”

Wow. A college football playa correctly using “as if” instead of “like.” I’m impressed, Florida education system. And “verbatim” too!

Illinois is f’ing horrible, yet even that lowly program has rushing yardage on the + side of the ledger.

Hmm, are there any major football programs that have negative rushing yards? For the ENTIRE SEASON??

At least Ill won the Fulmer cup. WOO!!!

I’m just gonna throw this out there. Do with it what you like. Let the possibilities boggle your mind.

Houston Nutt.

Texas A&M football coach.

Edsall

A&M can’t be bringin that shit in the OB! I hope Lamar Thomas takes the elevator down and shows Fran how they do it when they come in actin a fool like that!

Nobody looks good in the Demetrius Jones v. Charlie Weis battle. The university looks catty, and DJ looks like a big baby. kills recruiting in Chicago either way. F***.

(Also, I’m considering leaving law school to offer pro bono services to CW as a media consultant. Lesson #1: Don’t say it’s an open competition at QB, then go out after week 1 and say that you had your guy all along. Even if we know its true, don’t say it.)

Oh, and before Lamar Thomas gets down to field level, George Teague will strip him of his dignity. Again.

And he also used the subjunctive correctly. He’s either slow or Jim Delany is an asshole.

To be fair:

1) Weis has no role in deciding whether to release DJ from his scholarship—-that is the athletic department’s call.
2) Even if DJ had been released, NIU has no open scholarships left, so he’d have to pay his own tuition either way.

So really, a non-story. Get back to covering how bad the players that are actually on our team are.

Domer, if you really think that Weis has no say in the matter, then…well, might wanna change that D to an H.

Where is the Alabama alum, who, at every Coach Fran mention or reference, brags about participating with/witnessing/sitting on a couch while it was going on upstairs or in a basement/completely lies off his ass for no good reason, the daughter participating in some sort of unseemly act at the Alabama DKE house?

That one never gets old, or actually happened, but I guess I would be pissed, too, if Coach Fran pulled a reverse Bear Bryant on me, were I an Alabama fan.

Cue LSU Josh’s “Mike the Tiger” story, Episode 941, actually I like you this week for obvious reasons, and me saying something derogatory about S.Car, and OOC has his EDSBS morning all taken care of.

Bound, eh?

                           VIOLET
          I have a tattoo, would you like to
          see it?

She moves closer, sliding over the leather cushions as she
opens the front of her dress.

                         VIOLET
          A woman in upstate New York did it
          for me.

She is not wearing a bra.

                         VIOLET
          Here. Do you like it?

Set against the soft white skin of her breast is a bright
green stemmed violet.

                         VIOLET
          It took her all day to do it. She
          promised me it wouldn’t hurt, but it
          was sore for a long time after. I
          couldn’t even touch it.

Corky looks up from Violet’s breast to her dark eyes.

                         VIOLET
          But now I love the way it feels.

She runs her fingers softly over the slightly scarred
skin.

                         VIOLET
          Here, touch it.

Corky feels the blood pounding in her ears as Violet takes
her hand and places it on her breast.

                         CORKY
          What are you doing?

Violet looks at her.

                         VIOLET
          Isn’t it obvious? I’m trying to
          seduce you.

                         CORKY
          Why?

                         VIOLET
          Because I want to. I’ve wanted to
          since I first saw you in the
          elevator.

Corky watches her, trying to figure her out even as her
thumb presses into Violet’s nipple.

Inhaling sharply, Violet’s eyes close, she can feel
Corky staring at her.

                         VIOLET
          You don’t believe me. But I can
          prove it to you.

She takes Corky’s wrist and begins pulling her hand down
her body.

                         VIOLET
          You can’t believe me because of what
          you see…

She forces Corky’s hand between her legs, up under her
dress.

                         VIOLET
          But you can believe what you feel.

Violet opens her eyes, a wanton smile on her lips.

                         VIOLET
          You see… I’ve been thinking about
          you all day.

Corky’s forearm flexes and Violet moans.

With both hands, Violet takes hold of Corky’s forearm.

                         CORKY
          You planned this whole thing?

Violet’s head swims; she is unable to breathe.

                         CORKY
          You dropped that earring down the
          drain on purpose, didn’t you?

                         VIOLET
          If I say yes, will you take your
          hand away?

                         CORKY
          No.

                         VIOLET
          … yes.

Now it is Corky who smiles.

Violet shivers, her thighs rubbing, her hips thrusting
against Corky’s hand.

                         VIOLET
          Please, Corky… please…

Her eyes barely open.

                         VIOLET
          … kiss me.

In a single motion, Corky takes hold of the back of her
neck and covers Violet’s open mouth with her own.

With her hand still stuffed between Violet’s legs, Corky
lays her back onto the couch as the kiss becomes more —

More desperate, more hungry until —

We hear the front door unlock and open.

#7

eeeeeeeeeeeeeenteresting…

It would definately be a trade up from Fran for the Big XII South in entertainment value.
 
In the house party that is the Big XII (oxymoron… maybe), Fran is the guy who has 3 beers, proclaims he’s drunk off his ass, staggers around for about an hour and then, upon realizing no one gives a crap, goes home to masturbate.

In the meantime, Mike Leach is in the corner alternating licking a spark plug and slugging Purple Drank straight from the bottle.

Inviting Houston Nutt to that party definately ups the entertainment value, but be warned… he is clearly on the verge of doing something that will get the cops called on your ass.

1. - A little from column A, a little from column B. After all, he wasn’t on the sort of special teams that require return ability.

#13:

Well, um, yeah. Aw shucks.

At least (2) still holds water!

It looked to me like Tennesse quite rushing that shit about mid way through the first quarter. I think they all just wanted to see Holly’s teetays!!

Hang on… I can keep going with this.

Chizik is the freshman who has to babysit Mangino all night. Pity him… the only thing hes going home with is a hernia from helping Mangino into the car on the way to Taco Bell.

Ah, Indiana vs. Illinois. The “Most Unjustifiably Arrogant Fan Bases” Bowl.

I’m rooting for a giant sinkhole under the stadium.

And good onya, ND. By being unecessarily petty and vindictive towards a 19-year-old kid who got jacked around by your coaching staff, you’ve just damaged your recruiting in the Chicago area for the next ten years! Brilliant!

That would make Mack Brown the guy who talks to the hottest girl at the party all night, confident he’s finally getting some after months of frustration.. only to see said hottie jump into ol’ Stoopsy’s ride at the end of the night.

1. - fucking genius

1. - i root for the “sinkhole under the stadium” every year when lsu and auburn play.

re: 5 & 11

The fact that he used correct grammar is what leads me to believe those words were probably never actually spoken.

“I wouldn’t be too excited about Derek Baldry’s proper grammar; there is a reason he’s a special teamer. Plus, he’s probably white or couldn’t be admitted to one of our fine Midwestern land grants.”
- Jim Delaney’s used douche, responding to Baldry’s quote.

1. - What is Stoops’ record versus Mack the last two years?

Okie State – out of control drunk who’ll fuck the first girl who shows interest. And then come back to the party to drink more.

#20: IU has an arrogant football fanbase? How could you possibly come to that conclusion?

Ohhhhh, you’re a Ball State fan. Nice to know somebody envies the Hoosiers, but it would have be someone from Muncie.

1. You say it like it is a bad thing.

1. What does it matter if Weis or the AD made the decision? Notre Dame looks bad either way. Last time I checked being petty and vindictive does not mesh with Christian values.

And where is the “Leave Charlie Weis Alone” video?

1. mmmmm….Bound.

Baldry served 2 tours in Afghanistan as a Ranger. He joined prior to 9/11. He did not play high school football but Meyer gave him a scholarship because of his work ethic.

And not a one of you are worthy enough to hold his jock.

#30. Settle down Francis.

That video? If this internet thing doesn’t work out he might have a future doing wrestling promos.

Or being a Bama fan.

Also, #10 Bravo.

5

"he kind of ran into me and kind of pulled up and said ‘whoa, whoa, whoa’ as if I were going to deliver a hit to him"

Wow. A college football playa correctly using "as if" instead of "like." I’m impressed, Florida education system. And "verbatim" too!

Actually, I am pretty sure it went down like this:
What it do?
“the crazy mf’er rolled up on me, then raised the F*&ck up, and said “chill motherfocka’, i’m done wid dis shit”
like i was gonna bust a MF’N cap in his azz or sumptin. Word…..Peace out, thats how the MF’N Gators do. Den’ we crank dat soulja boy dat souja boy like superman…

#15
Is that bound movie about seducing a Downs Syndrome kid named Corky? from the TV show?
I’ve heard of kid actors falling from grace, but a Downs Syndrome kid to go straight to porn, man that takes the cake, and the graham cracker he likes to suck on.

Just kidding, In reference to Bound, I dont know why they just didnt cut off Ralphies head just like they did in the Soprano’s. Mob movies have all the same theme, kill somebody, and steal alot of money. Kinda like Texas football.

While the entertainment value of having Boss Hawg become Boss Ag would be enormous….and more than somewhat appropriate, I hold out hope that we will hire someone without a Kool-Aid ‘stache. Our fanbase might not be able to relate to him, but maybe, just maybe, this mystery miracle worker could stress “Tackling.” Oh, also, a hint to “The U” for this evening: Tackle that fat retarded kid on every play….ya know, the one who’s petting the football like Lenny from Of Mice and Men.

1. — Not sure where you got envy from my post, but I assure you, I envy Indiana fans and alums about as much as I envy someone with a case of the gout. If you didn’t want that reputation, you should put a muzzle on the disrespectful, profane clowns you call “students” that you sent up to Muncie last fall.

But thanks for inadvertently proving my point with the second line of your post, though.

what #27 meant to say was:

Okie State: out-of-control drunk who would bang the first [b]sheep[/b] that showed interest.

Anyone catch the UT Defender with the mock-Gator Chomp/throat slash after the Vols returned the pick for a touchdown? It was coming right at me, must have been about 40 yard line or so facing the UT bench…as soon as I saw it I knew they had no chance to come back. I’d love to see a YouTube montage of all the mock Gator Chomps followed by the sudden doom that inherently follows…

#36:

Like anyone from the Da U is familiar with “Of Mice and Men.”

And in the Big 12 South house party analogy, I guess that means….

Mack Brown is Wooderson from Dazed and Confused.
Guy Morris the kid who bought the booze so he’d be invited…
Bob Stoops is like Reggie from Archie Comics or Eddie Haskell; supersweet to the authorities, creepy/dirty as hell when Mister Weatherby’s not around.

Regrettably, the Big 12 North Coaching House Party looks more like Goonies than House Party.

You posted this A&M crap and you wouldn’t post my “losin to Croom will get you fired” song? Poop on your head sir, poop on your head.

1. Actually that was a different OSU.

#22, actually Mack only scored because he showed up at parties with his friend Radio. Mack’s only good as a wingman.

Mack hangs out with all the cools kids though.

http://www.amazon.com/Book-Horns-X-Large-Burnt-Orange/dp/B000W6ECII/ref=sr_1_3/104-5074850-9501510?ie=UTF8&s=apparel&qid=1190227142&sr=8-3