BLOGPOLL, WEEK FOUR: DER SHUFFLENKONFUZEZEIT

Texas goes up 14 positions after needing to recover onside kicks against Arkansas St. and Central Florida?

Missouri runs it up on an 0-2 MAC team and goes up 11?

Madness, sir. Madness.

South Florida at #17? They squeek by an Auburn team who is Croomed the following week and you place them above Kentucky (who has beaten Louisville), and Alabama (nice win over Ark).

I’m all for the rise of the Bulls, but 17 is way high for them.

What the hell? You go out on a limb and pick the Cocks as #6 going into the season. Everyone, USC fans included, thought that you were crazy. But now that we’ve rolled up three wins and are ranked #12 in a “real” poll, you’ve jumped ship.

This is the time we need you most. We’re heading down into the shitstorm in Baton Rouge this week and you’re dumping us like Najeh. Well, screw you. We don’t need your support anyway!*

*However, please consider re-supporting us after our 50-point loss this weekend. With your help, we can reclaim a spot in the polls in no time. It worked for Virginia Tech!

I’m pretty sure the little arrows on the side aren’t accurate, albino tornado…

Hey thats not….well, the spread offense you see……umm……fuck.

we suck.

dick joke, holly’s bewbs.

UCLA is ahead of Bama? Seriousry?

you have the best dealer EVAR.

WE TOLD YOU! IT’S SHIT! ALL SHIT!

South Carolina falls 2 spots for grabbing a win against SC State, but Clemson rises 3 for losing in all stats except score against Furman- a team that lost to Hostra?!?
Yeah, I don’t care, actually. I just want Dorsey to keep the body count low this weekend.

How come the Gamecock’s keep dropping?

Or are you taking the Spurrier route and downgrading them for the whipping coming up on Saturday?

Off topic: What are the odds of getting an EDSBS blue and orange t-shirt with “Don’t taser me, Bro!” on the back? I’d pay upwards of 12 dollars American for that.

I believe Red River “Rivalry” is the preferred nomenclature, no?

Hostra = Hofstra + purple drank

Um, fellas, doesn’t he actually admit in the post that he messed a bunch of stuff up? And doesn’t do cop to some variation on that theme, like, every single week? Why all the outrage (mock or otherwise)?

But what fun would it be for us, the reader, if we didn’t constantly rattle our collective sabres for NO FUCKING REASON AT ALL?!?!

Bama’s # 1 Bitches, # 13 is on its way

But yes, it’s all a disaster. The whole fucking thing. We blame society and our Wednesdays, the busiest, shittiest, did we mention totally shit-tastic shitball of a shit day in the week.

Fuck. This. Day.

Yeah, Texas blows.

Of further note: Two of the Pac-10’s OOC losses are to borderline-top-ten teams.

Exactly Jerkwheat – even if it were perfect, we’d still bitch. Even if we’d bitched, we’d still try to be funny. Even if we were successful at being funny, some a-hole would still bring up the UF kid getting tasered.

Bama is 2003 Ole Miss. You picked a bad year to go 7-1 in the SEC boys. But cheer up, you can get a SEC West Co-Champ flag like the Rebs.

i can’t believe i had to wait 4 days after the arkansas win for bamers to start claiming the #1 spot, and frankly, i’m surprised they just didn’t go ahead and claim #13 on Sunday

WHY THE FUCK ISN’T MINNESOTA IN THAT TOP 25????!?!?!

[/false outrage]

Orson,

Is your Wednesday bad on a “not one company responded to your RFP and now with your project in danger your job in in danger” level? If so, I can totally relate.

Dave — The Big 12 is mediocre enough without Texas and Missouri being mad overrated.

Notre Dame fans cannot talk shit until their team’s offense can find the end zone. That’s 12 quarters and counting, fellas.

That is all.

God dammit, do I have to be the only Cal homer in this fucking comment string?

Oregon over Cal? Really? Oregon’s victories over Michigan and Fresno St are somehow more impressive than Cal’s victories over Tenn and Colorado St? After CSU scores two touchdowns in fourth quarter garbage time against a backup secondary?

On the same note… how could you have Ohio State so high?

Still love the work, but damn…

Personally, I think Furman should be in the top 15, at least. From what I saw on Saturday, they are a formidable foe.

I would stick some sort of emoticon on the end of the above, but I find those things lame.

Ironically, I believe your Delta statistic is more f’d up than the potential ball and chain was back during our years at Clemson. Irony being she, also, is what I now use to represent defendants with in my “work product.”

The early returns, though, remain shiny: 13-3 in out of conference play is the Pac-10 in 2007.

Yeah, but they took a pretty good step back this week, with at least 3 OOC losses, including the ugh fest at Utah and ’Zona losing to New Mexico.

There is an “all suspended” team on Rivals.com with a nod to EDSBS and the Fulmer Cup

http://collegefootball.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=715986

#17, after the Shula era, every Bama fan I know would kill for a 7 & 1 SEC record.

That would mean that we had more quality SEC wins in one season than all four of Shula’s.

However, now that eveyone has figured out Saban’s secret, spying and stealing signals, I figure we’re out of luck. (g)

Glad to see Fla move up. I’m a LSU fan hand have the Gators at #1. Can’t believe you guys don’t see what they are about to do. ..or are you just playing coy?

this is why i come here. orson says “here…here’s a new post.” and then he follows it up with, “please…don’t pay any attention to this post.”

kudos sir.

#15…

yes, and most of the Pac-Ten’s OOC wins are against shit-tastic opponents like Lousiana Tech, Michigan and Tennessee.

No more blogpoll.. may it R.I.P. You guys can’t get it straight.. now kill it. GOT IT?

Hell, just hand write your poll on notebook paper and scan it.. that would be better than that shit!

Saban’s secret is that deep down inside there is a small boy that just wants to be friends with the other boys, who laugh and play and seem to have such a keen time. But he can’t, because he has work to do. There is always work to do, and when it’s done, you do it again to do it better, to get it right, but it will never be right. So he will make those happy boys pay one day. Oh will they pay, just like he had to pay when he spilled paint on his father’s garage floor…

At least that’s the impression I get. Your mileage may vary.

RABBLE! RABBLE! RABBLE!
Still not an ounce of respect for Texas Tech, and on this, Mike Leach’s, most revered of days?
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/
It lends your poll credibility that you took my Aggies off.

Coach Saban,

please make time and illuminate the brilliance of any other conferences OOC wins thus far.

1. - Florida fans know the team is good . . . but we fear chainsaws. And Werewolf hair. That shit is a bitch to get out of carpets. That and blood. Anyway, I doubt it’s coyness, I’m pretty sure it’s “I’m trying to be realistic with my hopes here, knowing that a hammer to my skull of dreams is coming”.

Me writing = FAIL.

I would have knocked Papa John outta da poll after they gave up 42 to MT. They have a worse defense than the French.

Piling on TX, and defending Crazy Muthafuckahs Redux: Arkie and Humanity Advanced would blast the shorthorns by Two touchdowns. #26? Pshhaaa.

1. -

This isn’t about other conferences. It’s about the Pac-10, and their fattening up on Tennessee and Michigan.

Perhaps you should invest in a sarcasm meter. They come in handy.

#24

Furman-App State will be a great game.

Orson – how about a BOTTOM 10? The Orgeron demands to be ranked.

Hey, you can’t dog this poll. At least they admit it sucks and has no basis in fact, unlike the AP and Grad Assistants – er – Coaches polls!

SMQ has Cincinnati Bearcats at 16 (maybe 14). Either one is probably too high, but they’re destroyed three teams, one of which was good (Oregon State), one of which was a good mid-major (Miami of Ohio) and one of which was a directional 1-AA. Better than some of the other teams in here.

WHERE THE FUCK IS MICHIGAN? I mean, c’mon… they blew out Notre Dame!

Kentucky #19? Giddy up. A basket of kittens for Rich Brooks to kick in celebration is in order!

How different the landscape would be if all the Juniors that went pro, stayed for their Senior yr. Hypothetically, what teams would have benefitted this yr if they had that special Senior?

Not sure why the “Red River Shootout” is “politically incorrect.” Is it the “Red” or the “Shootout” that is the problem? You know that the “Red” refers to the color of the water as a result of the dark red clay sludge that it flows through, right?

Hear that?????

Its the sneaky little chortle of a certain [redacted} coach who smells the top 25 and is stalking it thru the cornfields of central [redacted} . You can scarcely hold him back now at 3 – 0.

He knows you’re poweless to avoid ranking him when he gets to 5 – 0.

Listen to the rustling of the corn and the quiet all-knowing snicker!

#39

How dare the Pac-10 schedule the likes of weakass programs like Michigan and Tennessee.

They need to schedule real hardasses like Middle Tennessee and some other Sun Belt powers.

Seriously though, it’s all relative to the other big conferences and the Pac-10 does just as much or more than the others in their OOC scheduling. Saying they aren’t going out and playing people is just ignorant.

Its the word “River” that is the problem. The couldnt name it the “Shit River Shootout”. Have you ever seen that crappy river? It makes the New York Sewage plant look like a public chlorinaded swimming pool. I need a tetanus shot typing about it.

Shitty day excuse aside, I can’t believe you only ranked LSU at 1. They deserve much higher than that. For shame, sir. For shame.

Coach Saban,

Janus beat me to it (damn work!!). A critique of any conferences OOC scheduling is inherently a relative meter to the other conferences.

Also- sarcasm is normally less reliable in text than when you speak to your friends. Therefore, i wont take ownwership of ‘not getting it’ if sarcasm was your intent.

#48

Jesus Christ! Do you people not detect sarcasm?

The Pac-10 has some quality OOC wins. Putting Michigan and Tennessee on a level with Louisiana Tech is to poke fun at Michigan and Tennessee, not demean the Pac-10’s OOC schedule.

What you don’t have South Florida #2 and Tulsa #5 like this guy???

http://yourfootballdiet.blogspot.com/2007/09/disclaimer-this-algorithm-is-designed.html

#52

Oh.

I propose a universal sarcasm symbol to annotate when something is sarcastic.

I believe “^” should work just fine.

A capital idea Janus^

Damn you #47.

You just got me to look up Illinois football on the googs. To add insult to injury, you’re factually incorrect. [NAME REDACTED] is 2-1 with a loss to Mizzou.

The good news is 1000 tickets remain for the PSU game.

A+, tzubear

#55

Well, I thought it was a good idea.

Janus,

that was more for Sabans benefit.

Unless you forgot your ‘^’

Next week, Verne shoots into the #3 slot (up 47) when he interrupts the broadcast of the chainsaw mid-way up OBC’s back to inform ’merica that white-folk prefer red kool-aid to the black counterparts liking of the prrple.

^^^^^^^tzubear is smart and has a sense of humor^^^^^^^^^

Slims:

All the other Cal homers are living in the trees outside of Memorial Stadium in Berzerkely.

Damn dirty hippies.^

Slims, I’ll join you.

My team good, blah blah balh. My conference good, blah blah blah. Your conference bad, blah blah blah.

We’ll see how things shape up. It’s only week three. That Cal Oregon game should be very good. Hopefully it’ll be like last year.

If USF can get to 17 after beating Elon and Auburn CC, imagine where they’ll be if they beat UNC this weekend?!

Willit,

; )

Best line I heard at the Cal-UT game remains:

UT FAN: I wanna go see them hippies in them trees!

CAL FAN: See, that’s the difference between us and you. You want to go see them, and we want to KILL THEM.

Meanwhile, I think Vandy is giving 9 points against Bye this week. For the first time in a decade or so, I’d lay the points.

Orson, so besides all of the gorilla chainsaw stuff, was the clincher for putting LSU # 1 the fact that the Old Ball Coach also voted LSU no. 1?

it sure is good to see a site with the testicular fortitude to place LSU at #1 over USC, but the rest of your list holds about as much relevance-water as the fucking BCS…
a team shouldn’t move up because they won or even down just because they lost, rather each week the top 25 teams should be ranked based upon their absolute rank and relationship to each other, not have their position raised or lowered respective to their recent preformance and then a rank given.