Week Three, and you, viewer, should be rounding into form. Getting to the couch a few minutes late for kickoff was understandable in the opener, tolerable last week, but now your cheeks should be sliding into that groove with precision, smorgasboard at the ready, by the time Corso begins blindly gyrating beneath whatever ridiculous mascot head he’s picked this week (hint: probably not a rooster any time soon). Your conditioning should be improving: fewer, faster, better-timed trips to the bathroom, longer periods with no non-gridiron thoughts interrupting your focus. Return flips from commercial breaks should be precise, as the logos for all the sponsors you intentionally avoided over the previous two minutes are fading from the screen.
You know the names now. You know the story lines. You know the records. The time for I-AA body bags is past. It’s time to execute.
TGIF, UNLESS YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN WATCH…
OKLAHOMA STATE at TROY (7:00 • ESPN2)
Quarterback controversy for the Cowboys, who for some very strange reason are on the road against the Sun Belt for the second week in a row: Bobby Reid was Mr. Hype, the blue chip made good as a sophomore, but he was weak at Georgia in the opener and went down last week against Florida Atlantic, briefly ceding the position to Zac Robinson, whose official number according to the NCAA is “#1X.” But Robinson threw for three touchdowns, and Reid may get the quick hook from the lineup if the Cowboys aren’t mowing down Troy pretty quickly. Watch For: Judging from the Trojans’ 49-point yield to Florida in the first half last week, the offensive explosion we’ve been waiting for out of Oklahoma State.
On to Saturday’s feast…
NOON: THERE IS A YOUTH SOCCER GAME. GET THE ORANGE SLICES IN TIME FOR…
Your Saturday morning belongs to this man.Main Course: PITTSBURGH at MICHIGAN STATE (12:00 • ESPN)
Uh, on second thought, take your time with the orange slices. Pittsburgh is 2-0 thanks to 24-point beatings on Eastern Michigan and Grambling, but Pitt is still beat up, without its best offensive player, still not completely sure who to book for the emergency room play at quarterback, still coached by Dave Wannstedt and still smarting from losing this game big at home last year, anyway. (more…)
Boobs, or the worst song ever recorded: choose the right, reader.
Bruins have a Booty, too.
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