Hannibal Montegna has your snap viewing guide for tonight prepped and cut like the finest of fugu. Nibble and enjoy its venomous tang. (Slutty celebrity double-entendre joke pending!)

THURSDAY NIGHT HORS D’OEUVRE

It’s Thursday. Slaton smells blood.

Main Course: WEST VIRGINIA at MARYLAND (7:30 • ESPN2)
This game last year opened my eyes to the Mountaineers: unconvinced by their “fluky” win in the Sugar Bowl, I cynically expected a reversion to the West Virginia mean (maybe 9-3) last year, up to the moment I came home and flipped on what I expected to be a competitive game at the end of the first quarter, but what was instead a 28-0 rout. I’ve spent the succeeding year in contrite awe. Watch For: After a slow start last week, Slaton and White to gouge your eyes out with their game from the opening gun. In four Thursday night games the last two years, against Pittsburgh, Maryland, Louisville and Pittsburgh again, that pair alone has averaged an incredible 404 yards per game from scrimmage, not including any other rushers or any of White’s completions to any receiver except Slaton. Byrd Stadium is still grass, so, I dunno, grow it Serengeti long? Good luck.

On the Other Channel:
TCU at AIR FORCE (8:00 • CSTV)
Quick, dangerous turnaround for the Frogs, coming off a disappointment as the upstart in its own “Game of the Year” directly into the role of favorite in the 2-0 Falcons’ own defining game. Watch For: Air Force to keep it close with the sweet old school option game it supposedly scrapped, then brought back to run for 330 on Utah last week, until the Frogs’ oh-so-speedy “Afro-Americans” leave our country’s dim-footed, melanin-challenged servicemen spinning like a very uptight, over-educated top.