HOUSTON NUTT: BE HEALED!
by Orson on Sep 11, 2007 5:02 PM EDT
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On the day when his chief sponsor, Frank Broyles, stepped down as the Athletic Director at Arkansas, our thoughts naturally turn to Houston Nutt, just as they do whenever we text message our mistress or run the ball 30 times in a row in NCAA 2008.
The third week of the season usually takes our football infection from drastic to epidemic level, what with Tennessee/Florida, USC/Nebraska, ND/UM in the repuS Bowl, and a treasure trove of other games going on this weekend. This slew of quality includes the most curious Arkansas/Alabama game, where new-look Bama goes up against Humanity Advanced (Darren McFadden), Felix Jones, and the handoff artist they call a quarterback.
It being the first real semi-national peek at Arkansas, questions abound. Will Bama's defense hold as the Hogs undoubtedly run right at them upwards of fifty times in the game? Will the WildHog (neé le Wildcat) run havoc on a fledgling Saban defense? Will Major Applewhite's new offense prosper in their first game against heavy-gauge SEC competition?
And most importantly...what the hell is Nutt saying in this photo ?
Be healed!
Five times! We're only passing five times.
All the ladies over here say HOOOOOOOOAAAAHHHH
Guns will make us powerful; butter will only make us fat!!!
Leave your suggestions below.
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All the ladies over here say, “Oooh, Wildhog formation, you’re so big!”
/Conchords
by EarthyTechnoPop on Sep 11, 2007 5:07 PM EDT reply actions
I’m in ur press conferencez striking ur Heisman posez
by R.D. Baker - Retired Blogger on Sep 11, 2007 5:08 PM EDT reply actions
looks like he’s trying to make motor boat noises to me.
by AllWhoYonder on Sep 11, 2007 5:12 PM EDT reply actions
I stiff arm dem hoes like D-Mac does D-backs.
by Billy in Baton Rouge on Sep 11, 2007 5:12 PM EDT reply actions
He’s giving me Greg Stillson-type vibes in that pic…makes me feel icky.
by spartymike on Sep 11, 2007 5:13 PM EDT reply actions
“They only had five bottles of Just for Men.. I needed six.”
by Damon on Sep 11, 2007 5:13 PM EDT reply actions
Perhaps there’s a UT fan in the front row.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/headline/sports/5126036.html
Hook ’em Steers!
by Laugh on Sep 11, 2007 5:15 PM EDT reply actions
showing how his hand will be positioned on saban’s head when he is going down on him this saturday.
by playap on Sep 11, 2007 5:21 PM EDT reply actions
“Coach, do you even know what a pass looks like?”
“Something like this…?”
by okiedomer on Sep 11, 2007 5:25 PM EDT reply actions
“As long as I’m alive, I’m gonna live illegal”
Word.
by Palouse on Sep 11, 2007 5:27 PM EDT reply actions
“LOOK!!! The face of death is NEAR!!! AND SO…… I FLAIL!!!!”
circa John Lovitz SNL ’83
by Hook'em Tide on Sep 11, 2007 5:31 PM EDT reply actions
We drop passes like dey hawt!
or
We have THIS many different plays!!!
by Darin on Sep 11, 2007 5:32 PM EDT reply actions
“THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU… THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!!”
by Whitey on Sep 11, 2007 5:32 PM EDT reply actions
Let me introduce my family members here with me today: Dick, Buster (pronounced Busta), Hazel and my cousin from Mexico who we call Cajone.
by DiamondM on Sep 11, 2007 5:34 PM EDT reply actions
He’s saying “Pussy.”
As in "I’s dinna naeed Mustayne n-ah-ways….(Demonstrating Throwing Motion) Hay throws lak a Pussy!
by MeytonPanning on Sep 11, 2007 5:35 PM EDT reply actions
I would win a championship if I had FIVE Darren McFaddens, but no less.
by Adam on Sep 11, 2007 5:40 PM EDT reply actions
Bitch, please. I ain’t even tryin’ to hear that static on the Razorback message boards.
by Doug on Sep 11, 2007 5:40 PM EDT reply actions
upon further review, it’s clear from the expression on his face that he’s doing his world-famous Saban impersonation, complete with a stiff-arm to the miami dolphins
by okiedomer on Sep 11, 2007 5:41 PM EDT reply actions
Why no LOS CRONICAS DE BOSS HOG heading. That shit rox?
by Hook'em Tide on Sep 11, 2007 5:45 PM EDT reply actions
On closer inspection, he’s clearly doing “THE NEEDHAM HEX.” It’s a ball of energy. You can’t see it.
by Laugh on Sep 11, 2007 5:46 PM EDT reply actions
you can’t see his other hand…he’s saying…
“i’m tellin’ ya…donna bragg is a teean…a fucking teean!!”
by gerry dorsey on Sep 11, 2007 5:49 PM EDT reply actions
“I did NOT have sex with that woman…”
Oh wait, the pic is of Coach Nutt. My bad.
by Aerobab on Sep 11, 2007 5:57 PM EDT reply actions
“Smell my fingers!!!! All I did was text that woman.”
by The Last Dragon on Sep 11, 2007 6:03 PM EDT reply actions
“Those ’Domers should have given Ty a full five years!”
by Anonymous IV on Sep 11, 2007 6:07 PM EDT reply actions
That’s the Arkansas shocker. None in the pink, five in the sheep.
by Orangeblood on Sep 11, 2007 6:15 PM EDT reply actions
Orangeblood that was great!
Is that how far Nutt has fallen that he is not even dating within the species. Or for that matter the genus, family, or order.
by Anonymous IV on Sep 11, 2007 6:33 PM EDT reply actions
seriously Orson, just face reality and realize that Felix Jones is a field name for Dave Chappelle.
by razorblazer on Sep 11, 2007 6:55 PM EDT reply actions
Frank Broyles does not step down until the end of the year.
by rebelback24 on Sep 11, 2007 7:05 PM EDT reply actions
Arm STRAIGHT! Fingers spread OUT! THAT’S how you block a catfish!
by Allahver Fist on Sep 11, 2007 7:10 PM EDT reply actions
Wow Orson, I hope they run 50 times…it means that they punt to Arenas at least 16 times then!
by Der Schatten on Sep 11, 2007 7:22 PM EDT reply actions
“Sold! To the man in the dapper straw hat: One ex-football coach’s resort in Lower Possum Fuck, Arkansas!”
by Der Schatten on Sep 11, 2007 7:26 PM EDT reply actions
Just to start a response from Alabama fans, is Lower Possum Fuck also known as Moro Bottom?
By the way Happy Birthday Bear Bryant!
by Anonymous IV on Sep 11, 2007 7:36 PM EDT reply actions
“Young fool… Only now, at the end, do you understand…”
by OPNY on Sep 11, 2007 7:36 PM EDT reply actions
“This is the hand I text with. Man I can text so fast it just messes you up!”
by Kevin on Sep 11, 2007 10:52 PM EDT reply actions
Look, Darren. You can own all that you can see if you just follow my guidance.
by cocknfire on Sep 12, 2007 2:14 AM EDT reply actions
Only got so many fingers to fit all of these SEC Western division championship of the world rings on.
They’re tough to get though, tough to get.
by razorblazer on Sep 12, 2007 4:40 AM EDT reply actions
BEGONE! I cast thee out Gus Malzahn! Thy forward pass is heresy! It shall not be allowed to infect my program. You are banished to the waste lands of Tulsa. You may practice your devils craft there.
by Robert in Toledo on Sep 12, 2007 5:10 AM EDT reply actions
Take my LITTLE hand! It’s little but it’s STRONG!
by Mr. Bojangles on Sep 12, 2007 5:11 AM EDT reply actions
“Then I said unto them, What is the high place whereunto ye go? And the name whereof is called Bamah unto this day.”
by Der Schatten on Sep 12, 2007 7:33 AM EDT reply actions
Fireballl>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You know……Streetfighter???
by CHARLIE MURPHEY on Sep 12, 2007 7:59 AM EDT reply actions
“When I look out into your eyes,
When I look out into your faces,
I see a little bit of Elvis in each and every one of yuh!”
by Sean on Sep 12, 2007 8:44 AM EDT reply actions
Upon further review, he’s doing his “farting preacher” Robert Tilton impersonation…you know, just to add a little gravitas to the ceremony.
by Der Schatten on Sep 12, 2007 8:47 AM EDT reply actions
Do deez fingurz luk lik dey cud text all dem msgs ?
by Scalz1 on Sep 12, 2007 9:00 AM EDT reply actions
“I did not have textual relations with that woman…”
by Hong Kong Sooey on Sep 12, 2007 9:24 AM EDT reply actions
#54…Very nice. Non-Clausen rimshot and a frosty beverage for you.
by Der Schatten on Sep 12, 2007 9:35 AM EDT reply actions
he’s just showing the media the ‘Oh face’ he used on Donna Bragg.
“Oh, Oh!”
by Nic on Sep 12, 2007 10:05 AM EDT reply actions
yall look at my “lost SECCG, lost bowlgame” championship ring!!!
by BamaHamr on Sep 12, 2007 10:05 AM EDT reply actions
Media: Prediction for the Razorbacks this season, Coach?
Nutt: Number 5 runs. Number 5 passes. Number 5 returns kicks. Number 5 gets hurt. No more than 5 wins.
by Sabanite on Sep 12, 2007 10:10 AM EDT reply actions
“Their little hands makes your dick look HUGE!”
by Out of Conference on Sep 12, 2007 11:15 AM EDT reply actions
He’s distracting you before flashing his division championship bling. It’s misdirection. Danny invented misdirection plays in 2002.
by Sunshine Pumper on Sep 12, 2007 11:25 AM EDT reply actions
“When I get that feelin’, I need, textual healin’.”
by Hawgustus Caesar on Sep 12, 2007 11:58 AM EDT reply actions
He’s not saying anything.
The photo was taken just milli-seconds after flinging a hand-full of ninja throwing stars at the last person mentioning the word “pass”.
by Cincy on Sep 12, 2007 12:10 PM EDT reply actions
Or…
“Would somebody bring me a passing game and a Fresca?”
by Cincy on Sep 12, 2007 12:13 PM EDT reply actions
#10
Awsome! Totally Awsome! I just spit cream of crab soup all over my monitor.
Thank you, kind sir.
Now I must go find that u tube and scratch my head some more.
by shovel pass on Sep 12, 2007 1:29 PM EDT reply actions
“Behold. A pale horse is coming to Tuscaloosa. The man who sits on him is Mcfadden, and hell follows with him.”
by beer on Sep 12, 2007 1:33 PM EDT reply actions
DiamondM,
You got it wrong…Houston Nutt’s relatives are Buster, Joslyn, Harry, Sonya, and Oliver.
by The deuce on Sep 12, 2007 6:25 PM EDT reply actions
As Arkansas bestest gently used car salesman, I say that this here car is the one for you.
by KAHog on Sep 12, 2007 9:07 PM EDT reply actions
Drink up my followers! Kool-aid! There’s Nothin’ like it!!
by Reaganite on Sep 12, 2007 11:09 PM EDT reply actions
#35
Ha! I call him Chapelle all the time. Glad to see another with a good eye. Hell, I probably know you and we’ve probably had this discussion.
by Matt on Sep 13, 2007 12:56 AM EDT reply actions
How do you boys have such a great understanding of what is going on at Arkansas with the comedy drama that is Broyles and Nutt? I’m very impressed every time you write about the Hogs. None of the national talking heads have a clue what has been going on at Arkansas since Nutt has been the head coach, but you seem to understand the players as if you were in the loop. Good work as usual.
by HogInMemphis on Sep 13, 2007 8:09 AM EDT reply actions
I’ll tell you these boys have heart…. lotta heart I tell you… We can’t win an SEC game on the road but these boys got heart…………. sure play hard let me tell you….
At least that is what he says in front of every TV camera I have ever scene him on….
What a frickin dueshe bag.
by Woopigcrazzie on Sep 13, 2007 11:33 PM EDT reply actions
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