MEMO: TO MICHIGAN FANS

This is the reason I didn’t go to the game against Oregon. I screamed my fucking heart out against App St. , told the other fuckbags around me to stand up and cheer and they looked at me like I was fucking insane. A couple of them left at halftime because apparently I ruined the game for them. I love my team. But I can’t handle watching them with other “fans”. If I had been in the Big House Saturday there would have been blood. I can’t wait to make the two trips to S.E.C. country my friends and I have planned and finally interact with real football fans.

joe you’re a good man…i’m sorrry you’re a michigan fan.

am i the only one impressed with penn state’s white out?? look, i don’t even sport my teams colors to games, i’m just that way, but i’m still impressed when you get 100k plus to do fucking anything.

kind of off topic but everyone knows 97 Nebraska would have hung half a hundred on 97 michigan, just sayin’. so all you michigan losers who keep talking about the good old days, please STFU

I think that key jingling would be more Greek than Roman. Remember the Romans were the ones who bulit the first stadium in which to glorify in the bloodlust of seeing men take on real mascots (lions, tigers, and bears. Oh my!). They also borught us the first cupcakes by having the BCS conference gladiators rack up fifty or more points on Christians. What did the Greeks give us for entertainment? Theater.

Amen, brother. Even the announcers (Griese?) mentioned that Michigan wasn’t that intimidating of a place to play. I imagine it was pretty quiet the last couple of weeks.

The Penn State White-Out was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. Much more thorough than last year and totally disorienting on HD.

I hate the key thing. At Tech, it makes appearances a few times a year in the student section to suggest that the other team should “warm up the bus,” which is beyond stupid and not classy at all.

Especially if you’re doing it to some poor patsy.

I once worked with a Clemson alum that screamed so much at a Clemson-USCe game that she tore a lung. Despite it being against my Cocks, despite not needed to scream because I’m sure Clemson was up by double digits, she still screamed enough to cause bodily harm to herself. Now I was hoarse every fall in school (mind you a lot of that was likely due to the shouting around the kegs at Tally-Ho while tailgating), but I’ve never torn a lung. Impressive.
You should have Yost in on your call next week. He can tell you about his hatred with keys.

EVERYONE screams their asses off at SEC which is why they tend to be the some of the most difficult places to play in.

Even the little sorority girls in cocktail dresses are screaming and hollering their asses off with a shaker in one hand and a Crown Royal+Coke in the other.

I don’t want to get too deep into this, because it’s a stupid argument and I have class to get to. But if Nebraska had gotten more than 20 offensive points it would’ve been a first for the year. Including against Wazoo, who had the top offense in the country that year. I think it would’ve been an amazing game, but it didn’t happen. It’s impossible to say that “everyone knows” anything about what would’ve happened. So please, Stapler, you can do the shutting the fuck up.

Meecheeegan vs Notra Dahme Dept:

That game is like a beauty contest between Rosie O’Donnell and Star Jones.

Although nobody wants to look at their swimsuit portion of the “contest”, from a pecker point of view, not watching it would be impossible…..

sort of like avoiding seeing the aftermath of a car
crash as you drive bye….

uhh..stapler, nobody even mentioned the good old days. sounds like you are the one who needs to stop talking about talking about the old days.
anyway, good article. i’ve only gone to one michigan game, and i couldn’t believe so many fans could be so damn quiet. truly a shame

SKLM – great analogy – kind of like the big-girl burlesque quartet on America’s Got Talent This Year. You really didn’t want to see that, but you kind of didn’t mind that your wife had the remote and there was nothing you could do about it.
(-1 to myself for admitting and watching America’s Got Talent)

2nd Part of Comment:

Hope Michigan beats Notre Dame. go corn and blue, or whatever…

By the way – what’s the over/under on the number of times mass media will question whether this game will be the “turning point” of the winner’s season?

During my graduate research in the mid-90s I had the experience of attending games in the student section of Folsom Field among the tribe known as “Buffs” fans. While there I observed this strange behavior of key jingling. One of the natives there explained to me that they did it, usually on the third down on crucial drive situations because they were watching a “key play.” It was nothing like an SEC crowd and after they stopped selling beer at the games, the student now will empty at half-time when students go to “The Hill” and start drinking, presumably because they already know the forlorn outcome of the game.

Re #4: The Roman Coliseum, home of the original fuck lions.

Speaking of Nebraska, this reminds me of the epic meltdown of 2001, when NU got throttled by CU, and then (thanks to computer magic) got thug-raped by Miami in the MNC. NU then went on to go 7-7 the next year. Not that Michigan will sniff 7 wins this season…

Look on the bright side, Michigan fans…you still have a pillow-fight in the big house to look forward to this weekend.

No one brought up 97 when your coach got a fucking retirement present. Keep shutting the fuck up, stapler.
I’m pretty sure I made more noise in Florida than the whole fucking crowd after that 85 yd bomb.
The Year of infinite Pain: Part DeuX rolls on.

Yeah, i’ve seen Miss St do this at basketball games…at first i thought it was their substitute for cowbells at b-ball games….then i realised they were whipping my tide b-ball team’s non-caring ass in the final minutes and telling us to get in our cars. I think Michigan just does it because they are southern Canadians.

Mississippi State needs cowbells to make up for the fact that their stadium only holds 50k(?). There is no excuse for 100k+ to be that fucking quiet. C’mon folks, if the football is that bad just imagine you’re at a Red Wings or a Montreal Canadiens game.

Needless Noise Dept:

Is Brent Mushmouth announcing the Mich-ND game this Sat on ABC?

If he is, Mushmouth will be laying it on pretty thick that day. Actually, cannot wait to hear his “woe is ND or Mich” as the game bataan marches on…

…Carr is dead man walking….but it looks like “The Robot F’ing Genius” Weis is also beginning to get some well-serverved heat from ND fans….

and Tyrone Willingham? He is laughing his head off, sitting nicely at 2-0, with dignity intact….unlike ND’s administration, and fans….

I think it was at a Wake game I went to back in ’03 when the students all pulled out their keys and started jingling them. Since were were beating them soundly I did not understand this because I thought keys were just for taunting, but a nearby fan told me it was for a “key play.” Get it? Key play.

Fucking lame.

My coworkers have come to understand my voice is just going to be a little raspy in the fall – they’ve learned to deal with it.

“kind of off topic but everyone knows 97 Nebraska would have hung half a hundred on 97 michigan, just sayin’. so all you michigan losers who keep talking about the good old days, please STFU”

Idiotic.

“kind of off topic but everyone knows 97 Nebraska would have hung half a hundred on 97 michigan, just sayin’. so all you michigan losers who keep talking about the good old days, please STFU”

Idiot.

Key jingling wreaks of poorness and lameness.

The key thing is a constant bugaboo among fans, and yet it persists. Why students do this is beyond me, but it certainly doesn’t help that on third down the cheerleaders (MILFs before their time) hold up signs that say “KEY PLAY,” while the scoreboard urges the same. It’s fucking embarrassing is what it is.

The key thing is used by some state schools to “mock” their rival private university. Very common to see at the Rose Bowl when ucla plays USCw. Because being successful is shameful….

But it’s a KEY play. get it? keys. key play.

oh f it. we suck.

8

I don’t know what’s more impressive, that she tore her lungs against your cocks, or that you have multiple cocks.

it appears that Michigan now has two things in common with my beloved Furman Paladins (SoConn represent). They give up huge tracts o yardage and lose to Appalachian State, and they do the embarrassingly lame, nauseating key jingling at home.

Key jingling? Fuck that noise (or lack thereof).

Key jingling was explained to me during a Cal-UCLA football game in the 80’s as having something to do with drowning out the other team’s band. The high pitch of the keys makes the other band’s songs harder to hear.

The UCLA band responded by throwing pig snouts and various fruit up into the student section. Stanfurd simply increased the number of trombones and added water-baloon launchers to the arsenal. Fuck-wads.

I hate that fucking “key play” thing. We have that shit at Michigan State too.
But, it does provide some occasional entertainment when some drunk chic drops her keys and has to crawl around on the stadium floor to find them.
Crawling drunk girls fucking rule!

I’ve been to The Big House twice. And as an SEC guy, I have to say, the noise level at Michigan is laughable. And there’s no excuse for it. Their student section is larger than some school’s stadiums, yet they hardly make a peep. Odd.

3 theories:
1) warm up the bus, we whipped you;
2) we got it locked up (clever).
3) key play (first I’ve heard this one).
All kind of suck, but (1) is forgiveable?

If UM fans want sympathy, they can find it in the dictionary between SHIT & SYPHILLIS.

That said, I hope they knock off ND and then the ‘fire Weis’ campaign can begin in earnest.

15:

I’m setting the O/U on “Turning point/crucial/critical game/need a win” at 3.5 occurrences per hour of the Leader’s Gameday coverage….and we’ll say 4.5 during the pre-game.

i saw a bunch of virginia tech fans doing this key thing at the ’03 insight bowl. my brother and i simply could not figure it out… ho"key"? “key” play? but whatever the reason, it seemed stupid in a what turned out to be a 52-49 pointsfest when your team needed your adenoids rather than evidence you were willing to risk a DUI going home.

michigan cheerleaders actually hold up signs that say “key play”

i’d also like to add that Ohio State fans forced akron into taking two timeouts and a penalty, even though there were very few students in the stadium since school hasn’t started yet

I like the Romans/Vandals analogy. Basically, that makes the Southeast like the area that is now present day Italy, while places like Michigan and Notre Dame are coliseums from the outlying areas, like Zucchabar or Madauros.

Lloyd Carr needs to win the crowd.

(As an aside, I’m pretty sure that the Germanic barbarian holding the severed head is a Vols fan.)

BTW, App State has just about sold out all of its remaining home games – 28,000 aint bad for 1-AA.

Certainly is better than Dook.

Chad Henne wears jeanshorts.

So sad. The key jingling sounds like some old lady rooting around in her purse for one of those red and white peppermints.

Crawling drunk girls fucking rule!

And the perfect set-up for “Hey, while you’re down there…”

When I was at ‘SC the ucla fans would bring the keys out, apparently to mock SC students for having nice cars. Yeah, I didn’t understand either. Of course, that didn’t hold true for me since my car was the RTD (+2 if any of you all remember th RTD)….and my second car was my feet.

Stacy, I know this is a fun and games site. And I ain’t sayin it because I’m butthurt. But I know some dudes who would take exception to describing any stupid fucking game to Bataan. That’s just something that will never compare, at all.

Otherwise, I loved everything you posted.

I don’t know what the heck is going on at Michigan but I went to a friggin’ Maine/UConn game on Saturday night and the place was going crazy for the first half. Obviously, it quieted down when the game got silly but, man, why wouldn’t you scream like nuts at a game? My voice almost always hurts after a game.

Last year, UConn beat Pitt in double overtime. About half the crowd left when UConn was down 2 TDs in the 4th. So as overtime starts, at the end I’m sitting, someone yells, “We have to make twice as much noise!!” For the next 30 minutes, all I did was scream bloody murder. My voice was shot for a week. But you know what? It made the story of the victory 100 times better as I told in with my raspy voice. You have to live it.

Oh yeah, Fuck Michigan.

I’ve really been wondering why people attack tOSU fans… they’re always classy, well spoken, and support their conference.

Fucking key jingling. Last refuge of the shitty football fanbase. I mean, honestly, look at this. That’s ten minute before the game even starts — a game which was the equivalent of Michigan euthanizing PSU last season — and those people were still yelling three hours later when we were down 17-3 and without any realistic sense of hope for a comeback.

And for fun, if you’re the sort of person who likes Notre Dame suffering, this will be a good watch.

The Great Fire = 0-2 against ASU and Phil Knight U?
Rome = Ann Arbor?
Circus Maximus = The Big House?
Nero = Carr?

…then they take it out on the Christians?

Can Lloyd play a fiddle?

I know I’ve pulled out the keys a few times in the Swamp, but only under these very specific conditions:

1) It is a non-patsy game
2) You are sitting near the away team’s section
3) There are less than three minutes left in the game
4) The score is not close

I always thought of it as a way to taunt the fans and telling them to have a nice drive home as they hold their asses, which have just been raped. Doing it to FSU fans two years ago was, well, awesome. Cause I hate all of them. Even my sister, who will be going there.

Texas Tech key-jingles on opposition third downs… go figure

46 – You are right on about the Bataan thing. Sometimes I write these things too quickly without proper editing. But, as the old George Carlin comedy bit about football vs baseball, football is just plain full of war like verbiage – > Blitz, Bombs, blah, blah, blah…..

I’ll gladly take the burning dumpsters if it means that we’re screaming to the point of hoarseness and embarassment. This is college football, not polo.

Am I the only one who thinks the fans down on the Plains are really glad Michigan and ND are catching all the heat? If not them, would Auburn not be the story of the week?

LSU Joshua: here is the George Carlin “football vs. baseball” comedy gem, with the best part at the 4.00 minute mark:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YphEUa5LPjM

I was at the Michigan-Oregon game this past weekend – my first trip into a Big Ten stadium if you don’t count Notre Dame – and it was sad watching the key thing. Growing up in SEC country and a grad of an ACC school, I don’t get the whole “I’m not going to yell” thing. What are people worried about, ruining their vocal chords? That’s what the massive amount of tailgate beer is for.

BTW, if there are any UM business school peeps out there reading this, The Bus is better than advertised. Well done, my friends.

22,

He’ll be doing USC vs. Nebraska, a game that actually matters.

The

Well, when we beat teams, we don’t jingle keys. We dont jingle keys at anytime.

We go the honest route and say

’We just beat the hell outta you. Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer give em hell Alabama"

Post should have read:

The only time an SEC fan should take out his keys on a fall Saturday is to hand them to (1) a hot sober coed for a ride home or (2) a cop.

Iowa does the key jingle during kickoffs. I have no idea why, when i was freshman at my first game everyobody in the stadium just pulled out their kicks for the kick off, so i joined in. Isn’t that how the holocaust happened?

I love going to games at Kinnick, fantastic gameday experience, and 73,000 iowans totally invested in their team because there’s nothing else to invest in.

For some reason, towards the end of the 90’s and into present day, we’ve adopted the gator chomp on fourth downs while the band plays the Imperial March from Star Wars. I don’t know why, and i don’t know what we call it, but its pretty freaking stupid.

Star Wars isn’t stupid. People who don’t get Star Wars are stupid.

I do not understand the hate. At early ’80s Northwestern, we jingled keys at kickoffs. No significance was applied, as I recall, it was just a way to make some noise without being cow-college obnoxious.

40 – “school hasn’t started yet.”

…and when it has, you be sure to tell us all. it’s been…what…137 years?

…and it’s DEFINITELY a “key play” thing, not, as suggested, a “enjoy your drive home” thing. although that’s pretty funny. in our case, this week, it was our fans getting their keys out to get the hell out of there, and early. which was absolutely shameful – you could see huge swaths of empty seats on the broadcast by early in the fourth quarter. i hate our fans.

i think it’s become a lot less common than it used to be, for what it’s worth.

// I love going to games at Kinnick, fantastic gameday experience, and 73,000 iowans totally invested in their team because there’s nothing else to invest in. //

Oh, that’s right. Food stamps are free.

(ba-dum-psh!)

I left the game at halftime. Reasons:

1) I had beer at home.
2) I preferred to see Notre Dame lose.
3) It’s not enjoyable watching the equivalent of a cute little puppy you love getting kicked to death. By a duck.

I’m not any less of a fan. I lasted longer than our team did.

Northwestern has a football team? I just thought that’s where all the ‘smart’ sportswriters went and they just rooted for Notre Dame because there were no athletic people at Northwestern…which explains why Notre Dame can win 8 games a year against Army and go to a BCS bowl. Is this a new thing NW is trying?

If beating Army = 8 wins, is it too late to get them on the schedule again this year? Pretty please?

At Cal games the student section jingles keys only when the Stanford/USC bands play. I was told it was because they were so shitty they should get into their BMWs and drive home. Or that, even though they might lose, they can still get in their fancy cars and drive home.

Jingling keys = gay. Enough said. Shit – I Ieave my keys in the truck so I don’t get too wasted and lose them.

dave, i didn’t question whether you were a fan or not…wait a sec…

fuck that. you call yourself a fan, you stay after fucking halftime. i suspect i sat two rows behind you at the appalachian state game, listening to you slurring your way around know-it-all comments and trying to get yourself noticed by as many people as possible, then turning around and high-fiving all your asshole fraternity friends as we mounted a comeback.

fuck you, and fuck you. don’t come to a game again, i promise you that we won’t miss you.

The K State fans were doing that crap before kickoffs at AU last week. That was the first I had ever heard of it happening. Apparently it is the calling card for fans who don’t know how to behave at a football game.

1. - Shit and Syphilis are two of the better things you can get in Columbutt. I don’t know why a bunch of poisonous nuts come on to a kcUF blog after they got their asses handed to them by the Gators, twice. I guess the Michigan fixation has no boundaries.

Hmmm, Michigan fans waving their keys. I guess that’s about as original and intimidating as Lloyd’s play calling.

I agree the keys don’t make noise. However, in my opinion the student section always yells at the top of their lungs at the same time. It is the other 80,000 people who just sit there (they NEVER stand up) and don’t yell loudly.

If all Michigan fans were as loud as the students, then the stadium would be deafening. As it is, it’s just a gentle background noise like those waterfall/jungle noises CD’s that old people buy to sleep.

To all you Key people.
Find a way to Gainesville this Saturday.
Get in the stadium any way you can.
Put your hands over your ears and get ready for college football at it’s most exciting.
As the T-shirt says One voice Saturday, no voice Sunday

When Oregon went for it on forth and goal, the crowd was quiet. Most other stadiums would have been rocking including Autzen or Reser both of then a lot smaller but louder then the 110,000 + Quiet House.

Matty Blue,

Not quite. If you’re a student, I’ve probably been going to Michigan games since around the time you were born. Admittedly, I think this is the first time I left a game when we weren’t the ones killing the other team. But this is also the first time I’ve ever seen total, utter embarrassing incompetence at the Big House. It was too painful to watch. Good for you for not turning away from the horror. I guess you have more hair on balls than I do.

Re 64, if you are that concerned about being lumped in with the hoi poloi, just skip the football game and support NW tennis.

Besides, at 80’s Nrthwestern you could have probably just spoken to the other team in a normal conversational tone.

Some NW modification of a typical Big Ten rallying cry like, ‘I say old chap, despite the rather brutal beating you are putting upon my beloved alma mater, it appears your players’ average SAT score is quite lower than our’s. I daresay, the rapscallions appear quite incapable of general employment, aside from the millions they will earn before age 30 from playing this savage game much better than those representing my university.’

Tough to chant, but I’m sure a NW student could figure out a way to get all thirty people in the student section on the same page.

Virginia Tech did the jingling keys thing at the Chick-fil-A Bowl last year.

I didn’t understand it.

The VaTech girl in front of me was mortified when her VW keys were melted by my roaring, Jack Daniels fueled SEC rage breath.

#75, I agree. The student section yells at the same time. Well, the part of the student section that aren’t stupid sorority girls on their cell phones, foreign students who have no idea what’s going on, engineers that are worried about getting back to their homework, frat boys planning their foam party for later, or the other 1/4 of the section that is just entirely apathetic about the game. I’m really sick of trying to defend Michigan fans, because most of us don’t deserve it. The loudest that stadium has been in the last 5 years was when there were 75-80k people in it and Braylon decided he wanted to beat State. That should tell you everything you need to know about the crowd.

78 – “The VaTech girl in front of me was mortified when her VW keys were melted by my roaring, Jack Daniels fueled SEC rage breath.”

That’s a fantastic line. At UConn games, we spit hot, Bud Light-fueled fire when we chant “Stick It In!” when we get in the redzone. An old UConn woman (clearly the ‘I love women’s basketball’) said that was a disgusting thing to chant. My friend just screamed it as loud as he could about two inches from my ear while my Dad realized that getting season tickets with me & 4 of my 20-something friends was a bad, bad, super fantastic idea.

Yes, dadgummit, and I was at that Braylon vs. Sparty 2004 OT-fest. It was awesome, even though I froze my ass off sans jacket.

#46…

As the grandson of a man who spent over a year in Japanese prisons during WW2…

SHUT THE **** UP!

That shit was more than 6 decades ago. If he was still alive, even my grandfather would tell you to go play in traffic. Honestly, pulling “sore subject” on something you weren’t alive for and could not possibly understand…

Douche!

The strange part is the student section is tame (as student sections go) for football, but is raucous and vulgar for hockey to the point that the CCHA threatened to call penalties on Michigan for it while I was there. It probably doesn’t help that the juniors and seniors who had season tickets every year end up right behind the opposing bench. A friend of mine had the seat right on the glass and right next to the visitors bench. He had one guy trying to climb over the glass to fight him, and at least one player douse him with a water bottle.

That student section would occasionally chant “Start up the bus” after a 2 game home sweep, or the more rarely used but way funnier “GO STAHT THE CAH” if they were winning a home game against BC, BU, N’Eastern or Harvard. But I don’t remember keys. Just a lot of noise and expletives.

But yeah, around half the student section inhabitants are pretty weak on making noise, and it seems those are the ones that later get season tickets and populate the rest of the stadium.

In defense of Michigan, most of the games are at noon (the stadium doesn’t have lights), and it’s usually fucking cold and miserable out. Getting hungover, freezing college kids to do ANYTHING at noon on a Saturday with no alcohol involved is not an easy task. It’s amazing they even fill the place up. You think it’s a coincidence all of the Penn State “white outs” are at night?

And yeah…the stadium design or something. Whatever.

I must have hit some nerves, because nos. 68 and 80 would have put me in my place, if I’d seen them around here before today.

#68: Does that houndstooth pantiliner itch much?

We started playing football well before you did. Seems to me ‘Bama went coed about the time it organized a football team. Coincidence? I think not. Except from a gossip perspective, NU has been a lot more interesting to watch in the last 15 years than your team’s tired-ass shit.

FWIW to #80: (1) I’m a proud graduate of Michigan public schools. Knowing who my father was doesn’t make me a snob. (2) “The hoi polloi” is redundant. (3) That chant translates to “That’s all right, that’s OK, you’re going to work for us some day.” (4) Our student section looks a little light because… well, classes don’t begin for two more weeks. The only people on campus right now are ballers, bandies and cheerleaders, with a few frat boys around to keep things lively. Unlike state schools, our stadium is six-seven times the size of the student body, and if one of our athletes doesn’t graduate, it’s news.

When SKLM gives me shit, I listen. You guys, not so much.

Very nice, PJ but, ummm Penn State graduates more than you do…thanks for playing.

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/sports/college/s_481980.html

In fairness, you did finish second in the Big Televen. But, having also attended a quasi-Ivy, you and I damned sure know that schools like NW aren’t failing anyone.

#88, congratulations. I mean that sincerely, because I respect Penn State, even if it belongs in the Big East. But I wasn’t talking to you, and pulling out one year’s rate for football doesn’t tell the rest of the story, does it?

I’m walking proof that NU flunks people whenever they deserve it. Even its cupcake majors require genuine effort. I understand grade inflation is a bigger problem now than it was in my day, but I also know the profs take their responsibilties seriously.

I only agree with the keys coming out when the game is a monstrous blow-out, and you are telling the other team (and its fans) that its just time to get into their vehicles and head home. I think I saw it once at the USC-UCLA game when we were up 66-19, and may have seen it at another huge blowout, (Arkansas ?), but I think those are the only times when its appropriate. And I can NEVER imagine taking out the keys when you are LOSING.

I seem to recall jingling keys AND screaming my head off. But apparently that’s tougher than rubbing ones stomach and patting ones head.

Although, to be fair, I hurt my larynx much more often at hockey games.

One of my best friends who regularly takes me to Auburn games wants me to reciprocate and take him to Ann Arbor and I’ll have to intoduce him to key shaking. I love my alma mater and team (even when they suck), but key shaking? Help me Lord.

Bravo, #74, Bra-freaking-vo…

I don’t even know where to begin…I mean, the way you took “Columbus” and switched it to “Columbutt”?!!! Oh,man, is my face red. I got nothing for smack like that…

And the way you refer to EDBS as a Florida blog, no kidding, why would OSU fans go anywhere like that? No other schools’ fans would go to a place like that. Crazy…But you didn’t evven say “Florida”, you used the “UF” and put a “kc” in front of it. OH MY GOD, IT FREAKING SPELLS FUCK BACKWARDS!!! I just got that. Holy crap. “Fuck”. Just brilliant…“Fuck”….

Even your handle “Mo Cee something something fordee” evidently referring to the timely topic of Maurice Clarett, last seen on the field in the 2002 season, and his propensity for alcoholic beverages…Even though it was well publicized he had Grey Goose in his vehicle when busted….But that doesn’t rhyme…

All in all, your post is some kind of superawesomeness…Like regular awesomeness, but with a snake tattoo…And the snake is wrapped around a dagger that has an imprint of an even meaner looking snake on it…
That’s the kind of superawesomeness I’m talking about…

1. Really, most tOSU folk are complete fucks. I am, too, but not when it comes to CFB.

Cute Bunny Abortions? Yeah, I’m a fuck.

#87: Not true. Most Penn State home games (if not all of them by this point) call for white-outs in the student section, regardless of kickoff time. In fact, many students camp out for days to get good seats for the game, and State College can get very cold in the fall, too.

I attended a game in Ann Arbor two years ago, and given all of Michigan’s bragging about its unmatched tradition and number of victories, the relative quiet in their stadium — the nation’s largest, mind you — cannot be defended.

#88

What a dipshit.

Awww…listen to the poor northwestern guy. He’s trying to play too…like his football team has ever been relevant. Isn’t that cute?

1. & 98 – You Bamaboys react because you know I’m right, and it scares you.

Here is what you fail to leave out, Northwestern is completely fucking irrelevent. I’m not sure that you’ve ever won the big 10 title, and the only time you’ve had a national sports headline is when your coach died while he was still coach. THATS IT. Your football team is a joke. You throw them a parade if they make a bowl game. We’ll be sure to call you though if we need a biography written or something like that.

That itching must be horrible, kid, because it’s making you dumber by the second. We’ve won a few Big 10+1 championships recently. I refer you to 1995, 1996 and 2000.

I don’t claim that we have the greatest team in the land this year, or the best team north of Louisville, or even a contender for a late December bowl (yet). I root for my alma mater because it’s alma mater. I’m proud of my school and if you have a problem with that, too damn bad.

If Northwestern’s irrelevant, why are you so upset? Think about that while I go feed your mascot a peanut.

Clearly, this blog is extremely uneducated as to how anatomy works. It is very possible to still make noise with your vocal chords while wiggling your hand around to shake keys. It’s called a tradition, and does not preclude one from screaming.

Get off our jock.

As a Buckeye fan (commenting on a Florida-fan run blog, oddly enough…. I’ll get to the I’m-not-worthies later.), I must mention that I’ve been to 7 different Big Ten stadiums, and 3 of them are some of the best venues in the country. I’m talking, of course, about Ohio Stadium, Camp Randall and Beaver Stadium. The Big House has never been what it’s cracked up to be, in large part because the student section is ridiculously apathetic consider the football program they have (or rather, once had). At Camp Randall, Ohio Stadium, and Beaver Stadium, the student sections are going absolutely nuts even when their team is down by forty. Though I’ll admit the teams playing in those stadiums rarely are, the student sections at perennial cellar dwellers like Indiana and Northwestern are just as crazy throughout most of the games. The student sections usually aren’t even half-empty until there are five minutes left in the game and there is literally no hope left. But at Michigan, it really doesn’t matter how the team is doing. It seems their fans want to keep the “tradition” of being “indifferent” to football success going because Michigan is such a “prestigious institution” that its “brilliant leaders of tomorrow” don’t get amped about college football the way those inbred imbeciles down at OSU, PSU, Wisky, Iowa, and every SEC school plus Texas, USC, Nebraska and Oklahoma do. Anyone that’s ever been to Ann Arbor knows that the snobbishness is ubiquitous whether you’re just visiting or you’re going to the football game.

Either way, I’ve been to three SEC stadiums: Jordan-Hare, Sanford Stadium, and Neyland Stadium, and the student sections there are superior to the Big Ten’s in every way. In the SEC, good football breeds great, if pompous, arrogant, and callous fans.