CURIOUS INDEX: 9/10/07
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LSU says: This is the end of your life.LSU is a werewolf with a chainsaw for a dick. That's the prevailing image from this weekend: LSU wolfing out on Virginia Tech in a manner so ugly and decisive only the most surreal of horror movie imagery can cover it. Everyone knew qb Sean Glennon fell under the "liability" category; against LSU, however, Glennon became a null set with a line of 2/10, O TDs, 1 INT, and an early yank for a true freshman on the road against LSU. At that point, you do not hold a clipboard, but rather a bucket of ice containing your freshly-detached balls. Defensively, they're infected with THE RAGE. Offensively, they've become polymaths, using the new Gary Crowton "rag and bone shop" attack--combining everything from pistol-formation option, five wide sets, power runs, the wishbone, the wing-T, the flying wedge, The Von Schlieffen Plan, the opening sets of Rite of Spring and formations only found in Coach Red Beaulieu's magical University of Louisiana Cougars playbook--to rack up horrendous numbers on the vaunted Hokie defense: 297 yards rushing, 301 yards passing. Their competition's been weak thus far, but in proof, they're the nightmares you don't want right now. Whatever you do, don't fall asleep... No honesty, please--we're Southern. Proof positive that Southerners are roaring heroes when drunk and mincing nancies in the public sphere is any and all outrage re: Steve Spurrier's postgame comments on South Carolina's 16-12 upset of Georgia on Saturday. "It wasn't like they were some big, powerful team," Spurrier said on his television show Sunday. "They've actually lost five in a row to Eastern Division opponents. Kentucky and Vandy beat 'em last year." And this is controversial because it's...true? Honest? Accurate? Georgia's front four defensively skated backwards in the fourth quarter against an O-line that had serious difficulty blocking just a week earlier against University of Louisiana-Lafayette. If this angers you, you should likely consider writing angry letters to the Weather Channel for their consistently accurate forecasting and irresistable smooth jazz tunes. (HEY! No one sets out to be a smooth jazz musician.) ![]() Dissent is patriotic. Seguing nicely into further truth-telling, MZone agrees that saying Michigan's defense sucks is not just right, it's a patriotic duty, dammit. Pac 10 Football, CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP. Kind words about Pac-10 football kind words about Pac-10 football!!! Please note that an SEC-centered blog writes the following: Oregon sacked the once-proud city of Ann Arbor, UCLA closed out a game against a very tough BYU team by grinding out a win on the ground, Washington snapped the longest win streak in the nation by beating Boise State, Cal won a deceptively tough game against Colorado State on the road, and Arizona State punished us for paying Colorado a compliment by blasting DIVISION ONE FOOTBAAAAALL Buffaloes 33-14. Only Oregon State's 34-3 catastrophe against Cincinnati mars a stunning weekend for the conference. The dude in the singlet is our new leader. All hail the singlet. We'll pay good money for a shot of the USF fan who wore a singlet to Auburn and was caught on camera scratching his balls on national television. Seriously. Like, at least a dollar. <!-- End content section --> |
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To preempt the inevitable comment from a wrestling-coach friend of mine, “it’s not just a singlet; it’s the required uniform!”
But I guess that is one way to tell the bulls from the steers. (Ewww. I think I just squicked myself.)
by DevilGrad on Sep 10, 2007 9:26 AM EDT reply actions
Auburn fans are taking Notre Dame’s chant from the last week: “Thank goodness for Michigan!”
OK, Notre Dame is probably still using it again this week, too.
by HFS on Sep 10, 2007 9:31 AM EDT reply actions
Unbelievable for Auburn. I can’t remember the last time they lost on the plains at night. Crazy.
Bama looked great (against Vandy) nonetheless.
And Georgia got burned by Darth Visor….again….
What a great weekend.
by Hook'em Tide on Sep 10, 2007 9:36 AM EDT reply actions
Orson, we got the idea after downing a fifth of Evan Williams and watching American Werewolf in London and Evil Dead II back-to-back.
My only message to Florida fans is thus: Come with me if you want to live.
by Billy in Baton Rouge on Sep 10, 2007 9:37 AM EDT reply actions
… yet USF isn’t officially ranked. #26 in the AP, #27 in the USA Today (Auburn is #26!). Outrage.
I was impressed with USF’s turnout on the Plains. I can’t wait for UF to inevitably bump their game back 3 more years.
by Seven Years in Gainesville on Sep 10, 2007 9:40 AM EDT reply actions
Spurrier’s comments are technically true, but it’s still an asshole thing to say. Which is why people love and hate Spurrier, because he speaks like the asshole he is, unlike most asshole coaches. UGA still should have won the game, fucking Stafford and the receivers. God damn frustrating.
by Biggus Rickus on Sep 10, 2007 9:42 AM EDT reply actions
The singlet image can be downloaded from my brain, and should be done immediately before I inhale enough Dust Off to cordon off the cells forever.
by Allahver Fist on Sep 10, 2007 9:46 AM EDT reply actions
I thought i was the only one who saw the wrestling uniform. But alas, my Tivo jilted me.
by eric on Sep 10, 2007 9:51 AM EDT reply actions
The entire USF fan section looked like extras from “The Birdcage”, actually
by sandman227 on Sep 10, 2007 10:00 AM EDT reply actions
Let’s just say I was beyond confused sitting in Sanford Stadium on Saturday night.
I hate you, but I hate you, too. Oh wait, I still hate you (USC) more.
Seriously, if Stafford wasn’t throwing over somebody’s head, somebody was dropping his passes. It was, in a word, insane.
It was a deceptive win, more a loss for Georgia in my extremely biased opinion, but I will be “darned” if Boyd and Mike Davis did not run all over Georgia in that last drive for 3 consecutive first downs. I am guessing Munson did not use the “hobnailed boot” reference in that last drive. Ha…
by Coop on Sep 10, 2007 10:00 AM EDT reply actions
Spurrier is the best advertisement ever for The Art of War. “Pour sand in your opponent’s armor,” indeed. The measure of how crazy other people get about his comments, is the measure of their success.
/He has my gwatitude.
by panhandler on Sep 10, 2007 10:02 AM EDT reply actions
Poor kittens. Appearantly Mike Belotti is a dog person.
by Brewster Crew on Sep 10, 2007 10:16 AM EDT reply actions
Watching Oregon go Jet Li on Michigan…I found myself wondering how John L. Smith got on Big Blue’s coaching staff…that’s the only real explanation for what’s going down.
by spartymike on Sep 10, 2007 10:17 AM EDT reply actions
I don’t want to get too cocky because I know Penn State is still going to lose against Michigan, however:
I think that a lot of Michigan fans are putting too much emphasis on the “we can’t defend the spread offense” excuse. Were Oregon and Appy State running spread defenses, too?
by Run Up The Score on Sep 10, 2007 10:27 AM EDT reply actions
OK, after some deliberation, I now get the duck reference. Bananas, however, remain unaccounted for.
by PW on Sep 10, 2007 10:30 AM EDT reply actions
I am thrilled for this saturday’s michigan game. And by thrilled I mean getting horribly inebriated.
by Wooderson on Sep 10, 2007 10:30 AM EDT reply actions
If Michigan and Notre Dame play and nobody wins…do Holthz and May still make a sound?
by Sabanite on Sep 10, 2007 10:35 AM EDT reply actions
ND’s “offense” vs. Michigan’s “defense”?
Awesome…
by AllWhoYonder on Sep 10, 2007 10:37 AM EDT reply actions
I’m not saying Michigan is having problems with their defense, but the Gophers defense is pointing and laughing…
by Brewster Crew on Sep 10, 2007 10:42 AM EDT reply actions
“Chainsaw for a dick?”
I may never get that visual out of my head.
by John In Huntsville on Sep 10, 2007 10:44 AM EDT reply actions
Also, this may be the funniest ND spoof I’ve read in my life.
by Run Up The Score on Sep 10, 2007 10:48 AM EDT reply actions
Upon seeing the “singlet” (I consider myself fortunite to lack the word from my lexicon until today) it was going to burn an image in my mind but also thought that dude must be able to back it up too. I thought it was some sort of track suit.
by blazin on Sep 10, 2007 10:54 AM EDT reply actions
Dont feel bad #16, i still have no clue what the damn cats mean. I must have missed something in the past and have been paying for it for the past 3 weeks. Would someone please have pity on me and explain it? Also the Bananas. The Ducks i’ll assume is for Oregon.
by Nic on Sep 10, 2007 10:59 AM EDT reply actions
R.U.T.S.- beat me to it, damn you!
In other news: it appears that balance has been restored to the cosmos (caused by all those Michigan fans turning inside-out)- Georgia receivers have resumed dropping crucial passes, you can relax now.
by Mr. Wrong on Sep 10, 2007 10:59 AM EDT reply actions
i think that was ac slater in the singlet in the usf section.
go bayside!!
by gerry dorsey on Sep 10, 2007 11:05 AM EDT reply actions
For a while I thought I had gone back in time and Daniel Cobb was playing QB for Auburn.
The USF fans were definitely an interesting bunch. Reminded me of the days when UCF would come to town. They was so stupid looking, we wouldn’t let our own fraternity brothers from their school into our house.
And that game was the worst reason to stay up till 3 am EVER.
by TIGERinATL on Sep 10, 2007 11:10 AM EDT reply actions
Spurrier does not deal in cliches. Don’t like it? Hire [Name Redacted], he’ll tell you what you want to hear.
CLICK-CLACK.
by Troy in Columbus on Sep 10, 2007 11:11 AM EDT reply actions
As a UConn/Big East fan, that USF game was beyond nerve-wracking. I don’t know how a USF fan dealt with it. Each field goal attempt was like a kick to the groin…how painful. I still cannot believe Auburn lost. I just assumed they’d figure out some way to win.
I don’t see now how an undefeated Big East could be left out of the national title game for a one-loss team from any conference (as has been talked about by some talking heads). If WFVU beats USF, Rutgers and Louisville…those are three legit top 20 wins. If USF ran the table, they’d have those wins AND one on the road at Auburn.
Wait a minute….USF for the national title?!? Just sayin….
by Edsall is God on Sep 10, 2007 11:14 AM EDT reply actions
As a Cal fan, I might just have to giggle at the fact that the Pac-10 is getting gasp acknowledgment from the SEC. It took victories over Michigan and Boise State to get it, too. Never mind the whooping that Tenn got…
by Slims on Sep 10, 2007 11:16 AM EDT reply actions
- - I don’t think many are saying that anymore.
by TIGERinATL on Sep 10, 2007 11:20 AM EDT reply actions
What happens when 7-5 Michigan goes to the Rose Bowl?
by Edsall is God on Sep 10, 2007 11:34 AM EDT reply actions
“It’s not like they’re some big powerful team. They just had a better record than we did last year. They just shut us out last year. They just beat us by 18 at home last year They lost to Vandy and Kentucky last year.”
by Chuck on Sep 10, 2007 11:39 AM EDT reply actions
New slogan for the Pac-10:
The Pac 10, IT’S DIVISION 1 FOOTBALL!
by R.D. Baker - Retired Blogger on Sep 10, 2007 11:47 AM EDT reply actions
One more thing. Darth Visor has been crowing over victories over UGA, UT, UF, and Clemson spread across 3 seasons.
Hate to say it, Stevie, but Vandy and Kentucky have combined to have similar success against those teams over that same time period.
Vandy almost beat UF in 05 and did beat UT in 05 and UGA in 06. Kentucky beat UGA and Clemson last year.
So have you accomplished something or not? Until you string some of those together in the same year, you’ll be right there with Bobby Johnson and Rich Brooks.
by Chuck on Sep 10, 2007 11:51 AM EDT reply actions
I think the UM – ND game comes down to who sucks less. I think the game might be called on account of apathy.
by Scalz1 on Sep 10, 2007 11:52 AM EDT reply actions
Hey Chuckie – It’s ok man, it will pass, it’ll be alright.
by Out of Conference on Sep 10, 2007 11:55 AM EDT reply actions
I think Chuck may be taking the dogs’ loss tougher than I am AU’s. He must be a REAL pleasure to be around.
by TIGERinATL on Sep 10, 2007 11:56 AM EDT reply actions
We’ve all been there. Some (us Cock fans) perhaps more than our fair share, but we’ve all been there.
At least you didn’t have a Heisman candidate QB throw five picks against like… oh wait. Sorry.
by Out of Conference on Sep 10, 2007 12:00 PM EDT reply actions
Seriously, will someone explain the cat thing to me before i am even more behind?
by Nic on Sep 10, 2007 12:14 PM EDT reply actions
Today’s rationalization:
I suppose 1 loss in every five games versus Carolina isn’t too bad. It’s not the worst company to be in: Florida, Tennessee, Clemson(?) And it’s better than Ohio State!
by UgasTexan on Sep 10, 2007 12:16 PM EDT reply actions
The Michigan Notre Dame game is the balck hole of college football this season. The two winningest programs, both 0-2, unranked, etc. I never thought I would live to see the day that this perfect storm would occur. Of course I will still watch the game!
by Anonymous IV on Sep 10, 2007 12:16 PM EDT reply actions
Ducks=Oregon.
Cats’ necks=what Lloyd was breaking this week.
The other two portions of his brain are thinking vaguely about Michigan and bananas.
by Kenny on Sep 10, 2007 12:18 PM EDT reply actions
He’s NOT crowing, Chuck. That’s the fucking point. The fact that when he brags it pisses you off and when he plays down a win it still pisses you off means he’s gotten all up in yo head. Just where he likes to be.
by Continuation T. Arranger on Sep 10, 2007 12:23 PM EDT reply actions
Yes, I have basked in the “well, we got our 1 loss out of every 5 years against S. Carolina,” rationalization since last November.
Spurrier should take me on the road with him, as the Gamecocks are now 2-0 along the I-85 corridor in games I have attended since November.
However, I watched the game just salivating at the thought of Spiller and, to a lesser extent, Davis getting to the corners and watching Brinkley lumber in vain in the 4th, attempting to keep up.
Running between the tackles, or between the hashmarks for the most part, versus S. Carolina is a bad idea.
However, the lateral speed is missing.
Florida, Clemson, and, maybe just maybe, Tennessee should be able to exploit this.
by Coop on Sep 10, 2007 12:26 PM EDT reply actions
OK, i saw the whole Lloyd Carr breaking the cats neck. What i’m saying is…where did the cat thing begin and why is it a cat? I saw the ‘Im in yor big housez, stealin all your credibilitiez’ thing with the cat in Michigan….I just don’t get what it means….why a cat?
by Nic on Sep 10, 2007 12:26 PM EDT reply actions
by Der Schatten on Sep 10, 2007 12:34 PM EDT reply actions
53
Because kittens’ necks are easily broken. And I think it has something to do with MGOBlog “going to the cats” after the App State loss.
by PW on Sep 10, 2007 12:43 PM EDT reply actions
Let me add, finally, before I have to return to saving other people money, that my hat is off to Tyrone Nix and South Carolina.
Granted, Georgia laid an egg out there, offensively, but it appeared to me, and all those dressed in garnet and black in the USC section that surrounded me, that perhaps Nix’s defense had something to do with Georgia’s ineptitude.
FYI, if you were sitting in the USC section and you saw a guy in an orange polo and khakis, engulfed by those in garnet and black, that was me.
Apparently, my orange overalls were at the dry cleaners.
by Coop on Sep 10, 2007 12:46 PM EDT reply actions
Right Der Schatten. I saw that earlier and the thing even before that. Just don’t get why he would be breaking a cats neck? What does breaking a cats neck have to do with App State? Just for the hell of it?
PW, i’ll go check out the blog you are talking about to see if that gives me some answers.
by Nic on Sep 10, 2007 12:51 PM EDT reply actions
ND vs Michigan? Oh Boy!!! Now we can get the answer to the philosophical question-
What happens when an stoppable force hits an movable object? I am sure, if I am forced to watch this game, I will feel so depressed. Lets face it, Charlie Weiss is still pissed about that Gasket By Pass surgery he had and is mad that he lost his lawsuit, and Regis Philben has been put on a suicide watch ever since the beginning of the season.
Lloyd , Lloyd "all null and void " Carr after his “bitchslap heard round the world” game with App State, with Part Deux in the form of Oregon just using their defense like a $20 dollar hooker, will more than likely get gunned down on the way to the game, by someone in the athletic dept, or any gambler that lost his ass betting on Michigan a) on APP ST and b) thinking Michigan would rebound w/Oregon- if they bet on Michigan in both – are more than likely homeless with two cracked kneecaps that will either have to take a shot by wheelchair or on their belly on the roof of any handicap accessible nearby book depository.
I hear Michigan State enrollment for next semester has gone up as the NCAA has been overwhelmed with Transfer request by just about every form of athlete at Michigan. Recruits that were looking at Michigan have decided to see what App State has to offer.
by Mr Pelican Pants on Sep 10, 2007 1:24 PM EDT reply actions
Chuck @#40:
Spurrier said this. It was a big early win, but they have to get better if they are going to make an attempt for the SEC East. Ultimately, it may mean a lot or nothing.
http://www.thestate.com/sports/story/168975.html
by robert on Sep 10, 2007 1:29 PM EDT reply actions
Mr. College Football, Tony Barnhardt, called the South Carolina upset all week in his blog for the AJC. He kept saying that Spurrier was up to something, that he was playing the Lou Holtz “they’re too good” card too much and it was fishy. He was right.
I didn’t see the game but I had a feeling Georgia was going to come out flat because of how they pounded Ok. State and got way too many kudos for it. I think Ok. State was overrated and a decent South Carolina team got overlooked.
Who else thinks South Carolina/LSU on Sept. 22 just became a very, very, very interesting game?
by Edsall is God on Sep 10, 2007 2:18 PM EDT reply actions
Just in case anyone thought it might take a while for Erickson to really rub off on ASU, the Sun Devils had 8 personal fouls last Saturday. Colorado racked up a whopping 70 more yards of offense than the Fightin’ Dennis Erickson’s gave them in penalty yardage.
by Way Up North on Sep 10, 2007 2:22 PM EDT reply actions
#62
Lemme tell ya something- LSU could take on the entire Senior Bowl roster-minus their players of course- and kick their asses up and down the field.
They have a platoon of running backs, wild animals on defense dressed in football uniforms. Hell to make it fair, they should let the offense go both ways and give the defense a break. This is probaly the most talented team, by far, in the country with no real challenges in the near future. South Carolina is not even a blip on the radar. After they get the starting QB yanked after the first 4 INT’s and 2 fumbles, it wont be fair….it will be the same gameplan over and over, get 4 picks and crush their souls, and force their children into slavery , just like the scene in Conan, The Barbarian where the barbarians ride into the village, get off the horses, and James Earl Jones takes his sword and cuts off yo’ mamma’s head and you watch it roll at your feet, in slow motion. That my friends, is LSU football. They’re coming to your town and cuttin yo mama’s head off and taking you with them. The End.
by Mr Pelican Pants on Sep 10, 2007 4:21 PM EDT reply actions
James Earl Jones in Conan= Glen Dorsey
by Mr Pelican Pants on Sep 10, 2007 4:23 PM EDT reply actions
Mr. Pelican Pants – That’s the attitude I like to see! The Cocks ain’t shit. No need to consider them. You have bigger fish to fry this year.
by Out of Conference on Sep 10, 2007 4:39 PM EDT reply actions
Nic, Re: cats. No shit, go rent the broadway hit “Cats”. I can’t remember exactly when, but somewhere in there near the end is a very vague reference to Michigan football tradition. It’s pretty vague and takes place just stage left and upstage of the main action. You may have to watch the movie 8 or 10 times to catch it. Then once you find it, watch the App State-Michigan game with no sound, and the Cats DVD playing with just souond and no picture. That scene with the vague Michigan football tradition will blow your mind.
by Out of Conference on Sep 10, 2007 4:45 PM EDT reply actions
To 62,
I didn’t say South Carolina was going to win or anything, I just said it became very interesting. Like you’re not going to be just a tiny, little bit worried about Spurrier>? That’s why he’s the Old Ball Coach, drawing up them old ball plays. Besides, he could get so far inside Les Miles’ head during game week that Miles will come out confused, disorientated and muttering nothing but “Click Clack”.
by Edsall is God on Sep 10, 2007 5:01 PM EDT reply actions
this is probaly the most talented team, by far, in the country…
So they are undoubtedly the most talented team, but there remains a question as to exactly how much more talented they are than everyone else?
As good as they are, I don’t think we’ll see an undefeated SEC team this season. Maybe 1 loss, provided it doesn’t come in the SEC Championship game, will be good enough to get someone to tne MNC game. I may see this sentence in italics followed by “Fuck You PW” in December, but I don’t think LSU can beat UF twice this season.
by PW on Sep 10, 2007 5:02 PM EDT reply actions
Lissenup………If you’re upset with Spurrier about his comments let him know at ’idon’tgiveaflyingfuck.com".
by darthgatorone on Sep 10, 2007 5:46 PM EDT reply actions
I saw the USF-bullsporter in the Singlet scratching his balls and replayed over..and over..and over…via the magic of Tivo.
As a Gator living in Tampa, there is nothing classier than a Bulls-fan with a great sense of fashion taste and itchy balls……….
by MAB on Sep 10, 2007 5:53 PM EDT reply actions
Hate to say it, but USC (east) is not a good team at this point. That seems to be what Spurrier was getting at as well. They beat a bad UGA team (that night at least). USC played decently, and is a decent team, they have a distance to go though still. UGA apparently has even further… USC defense did ok, but if UGA receivers learn to catch that game is not that close…
by Jonathan on Sep 10, 2007 6:59 PM EDT reply actions
You’d think that the UW – Boise St. game would have made more waves, but having watched it in person, it wasn’t THAT much to get excited about for Huskies fans. Boise is a shell of the team it was last year, and UW played only a half of solid offense; they couldn’t put a thing together in the second. What’s really scary for Huskies fans is the upcoming schedule: Ohio State, @UCLA, and USC. Ridiculous.
by allonthefield on Sep 10, 2007 8:34 PM EDT reply actions
- Edsall,
Cocks/LSU might have been interesting if Miles had a head for OBC to get into. It appears Miles has learned to mouth off to the fans/press and let the co-ordinators summon the demons on game nite. Ritual slaughter will follow this team. The only vulnerabilty to the Miles Deathstar is that damn venilation shaft. What do you think The Hat that Must Be Feared has been covering?Tebow will get two chances…hope he’s been bullseyeing womp rats back home.
by lilac-a-go-go on Sep 10, 2007 9:28 PM EDT reply actions
singlet man video (1:32 – 1:36):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWBfT0_neCU
by gdog9 on Sep 29, 2007 1:37 AM EDT reply actions

by 
LSU says: This is the end of your life.


















