Rich Rodriguez, you want some of this.

Louisville’s defense has a flavor. And that flavor is sweet, yielding cotton candy. Middle Tennessee, the co-champs of the Sun Belt last year, scofflaws, came into the Papa and put up 42 points on the Louisville Cardinals in a zesty, garlic-butter soaked 58-42 loss. Middle Tennessee State averaged ten yards an offensive play against Louisville’s defense. Purple lightning–that’s always a good sign! West Virginia may pull a Phidippides and end Steve Slaton’s Heisman campaign early when he dies from exhaustion during their matchup later this year.

We could use more choice, actually. Appalachian State has opened the door for D-1AA teams to be ranked with the big boys, thanks to some poll tweakage. Or one could say that Lloyd Carr has, in fact, dragged D-1 football down an entire level in one fell swoop. We prefer to accentuate the positive and just say that we’re thrilled to multiply the number of ways we can fuck up a Blogpoll ballot by a factor of a zillion. We used to just have the five taps at the Starvin’ Marvin; now we have the boggling choices of the MEGABEVERAGEWALL. Greeaaaat.

Rich Rodriguez, dick. Well, at least to Georgia fans in this United Bank video, which we can certainly tolerate. Trust me, this works.

That loss hurts almost as much as this handjob machine feels good. If Oregon should lose to Michigan on Saturday and become the first to catch transitive football loss herpes from the Wolverines, at least they have their palatial locker room to return to in Eugene. For all we know, they actually do have a handjob machine.

You say it best, when you say nothing at all. Nat from Sun Sports is one badass commentator. He’s like Pootie Tang and Too Short, sellin’ a mil when they breathe on the mike.