CURIOUS INDEX, 9/6/07

You forgot The Ruston Rifle, pure North LA redneck with the best arm ever.

Although not QBs, how ’bout Andre “Pulpwood” Smith and Floyd “Pork Chop” Womack.

Blake Mitchell wears jeanshorts.

WTF am I going to read at ~10:30 now? Why so early on the Curious Index?

Pete Rock and CL Smooth had one of the best albums of 1992.

That whole “Shotgun” spiel — wasn’t that pretty much the plot of “The Program”?

based on names alone, doesn’t it seem like john parker wilson would act more like blake mitchell and blake mitchell would act more like john parker wilson. how bizzah.

The Page 2 article is awesome. But instead of just one piece, someone should write a whole book about how to be a fan. Also…O, W, M men need love, too.

It’s always pissed me off that Shaq lifted the whole “biological didn’t bother” line from Peter Rock & CL Smooth and built a whole lame song around the concept. Fu Schnickens is rolling over in their graves.

“16. Southern frat boys not wearing khakis and a tie to the game must forfeit one bourbon and Coke.

16a. Southern fans wearing team-colored seersucker suits with matching bow ties drink free for the season."

 Because it just wouldn’t be football season without well-dressed students sneaking Jim Beams into the game and getting incoherently drunk on “Diet Coke.”

I guess Mangino was right about Texas and officiating. Its all about da BCS…dollar signs.

Texas sure was lucky. I have never heard of such a thing as an onside kick recovery overturned in the last minute because of an imaginary penalty.

does anyone know who “Trouble” T-Roy was?

I just know ther’ll never be another…he was C.L. Smooth’s brother.

I wouldn’t mind having other conferences’ refs coming to do Big 12 games. At least they wouldn’t be wearing orange-tinted glasses.

#12: As long as it’s not Pac 10 refs. You’ll never hear the end of it from Oklahoma.

So sorry about this, but Brett Favre didn’t play in the SEC (although the line is still funny)…

and I’m pretty sure the Arizona-BYU game was at BYU.

“brett favre” was just a nickname….for steve tanneyhill

Though in fairness to Jar Jar Mitchell, Matt Stafford could be “that guy” if his offseason weight permitted him to get drunk. But the titanic amount of ale required to put the Baby Sex Cannon over .08 simply doesn’t exist, not at one time or in one place. Not even in Athens.

Texas sure was lucky. I have never heard of such a thing as an onside kick recovery overturned in the last minute because of an imaginary penalty.

Comment by 2006 Outback Bowl

Playing a [NAME REDACTED] coached team is enough of an advantage. There is no complaint here.

That was Urb.

Thanks for stopping by, 2006 Outback Bowl. Just because you’re not around doesn’t mean I don’t think of you every single day.
Miss you.

Hmm, reading the shotgun story, makes it sound like Mitchell will be starting for UGA Saturday! Does this mean he is going to be the new Reggie Ball (what too soon)?

@ #20:
No, Blake has a career completion percentage over 50%.

I read a few snippets of that Page 2 article yesterday (an uncredited copy and paste job of it, anyway) and determined that rather than funny, it was lame and hackneyed. Apparently, I was not only wrong, but so wrong that my woefully misguided opinion of it was enough to get me banned from an Auburn message board. And since we all know that ESPN hates Auburn, my sin must be egregious indeed for Auburn people to come so vehemently to their defense. I guess I should read the whole thing now.

39. Anyone who calls Division I-AA by the new name “Division I Football Championship Subdivision” must receive one punch directly to the throat.

Bravo. That goes for the new name they gave Division I-A too.

so, when does young Blake Mitchell appear on this website?

www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com

Ahhh, hip-hop in the early 90’s.

OK, OK. I accidentally left my white oxford in Virginia and had to go tie-less to the game on Saturday. The new houndstooth tie wouldn’t exactly go well with my shirt, so I guess I have to forfeit a drink. Dammit.

@ #24:
Apparently, when he punched the bouncer in the face at Pavlov’s.

I’m very amused that Big 12 officials are not allowed to comment on possible referee mistakes because of their “sportsmanship policy”. I do not think that word means what you think it means.

1. I believe that website was created for the Baby Sex Cannon.

That must be the funniest thing they’ve run on Page 2 since Hunter suicided. I wouldn’t know, because he was the only reason I looked to the WWL for anything except gameday scores.

“13a. When using crayons, University of Oregon fans also are exempt from having to color within the lines.”

Hilarious.

Also, regarding the puss trumpeting his own horn for claiming he put Mike Stoops on the hot seat “nearly a month ago” (a whole three bloody weeks… wow. My god, give him a medal and a punch in the face. He’s only 18 months behind everyone in Tucson.

Former Kentucky quarterback Billy Jack Haskins had the best-ever SEC name (in the pre-Jim Bob Cooter era, at least). I have no idea whether Haskins was a redneck ne’er-do-well, but if not, that’s a perfectly good waste of a name.

I was the one complaining about the site encouraging people to throw urine. That’s just stupid and irresponsible.

“27. You are allowed to start tailgating six hours before kickoff.”

Seriously? When it’s a night game?

Jayson Williams? Eminem? Elton John? Hah, Orson Bean is the downest-ass white cat on the planet. If you can make to Philly in October, you can have my wife’s ticket to see The Roots and Big Daddy Kane (MC Lyte is there too, but nobody cares about that). We’ll eat fried chicken, talk about women with big asses and drink Hypnotiq until we puke.