OPENING WEEKEND: THE ORDER OF BUSINESS

by Orson on Aug 31, 2007 4:26 PM EDT

Press play to hear precisely what our brain sounds like right now.

Proceed.

Things are about to get extremely hectic around here. A three day weekend with a sprawling slate of football games (summarized so well here by Hannibal) requires some serious organization and planning. Therefore, the EDSBSOOB (order of business) over the holiday weekend will be as follows:

Saturday: At Taco Mac in Decatur from 12 to 4ish. Orson will have a great red beard and an EDSBS shirt on, and could possibly be covered in the blood of victory. This is often and easily confused with Buffalo wing sauce, of course, but do not be mistaken. War is hell. People die. Stuff happens.

Sunday: Spot rundown of Saturday to be posted with all due haste, along with picture of sad Big Red, the Western Kentucky mascot. PLUS!!! EDSBS Live! online radio, which is our first Sunday edition of EDSBS Live from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. EST, where you can curse with impunity and be the first demand your coach's firing. Guests will join us of a mysterious and impressive nature.

Monday: Extremely light posting--essential deaths, injuries, and major conflagrations covered as needed. Heading at night to Clemson for the Florida State game, where we win either way thanks to someone named Bowden losing.

Tuesday: Posting with extreme fury and frequency. "Buys and Sells" returns, this time with guest editor Hannibal Montegna taking the bulk of the Stranko role in our discussion of who deflated/ballooned their value over the weekend of action. Stranko, in between earning an unholy assbeating from us for posting Jenn Sterger pics, may live to chime in from time to time. May.

We'll also have pics and some WOOOO!TV from the Clemson tailgate. Given that Clemson is located in South Carolina, we may be forced to ask Miss America-style questions about the fate of the world to drunk tailgaters. This will yield positive results, we're sure.

Hydrate. Stretch. Enjoy. This is college football. Cue James Wright, the strains of "O Fortuna" by Carl Orff, and blow the goddamn whistle. It's sturm und drang time, people, and we've got our Siegfried helmet polished up and ready to go.

Autumn Begins In Martins Ferry, Ohio

In the Shreve High football stadium,
I think of Polacks nursing long beers in Tiltonsville,
And gray faces of Negroes in the blast furnace at Benwood,
And the ruptured night watchman of Wheeling Steel,
Dreaming of heroes.

All the proud fathers are ashamed to go home.
Their women cluck like starved pullets,
Dying for love.

Therefore,
Their sons grow suicidally beautiful
At the beginning of October,
And gallop terribly against each other's bodies.

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Comments

Cocaine, yeeeeaaaahhhh!!!

I hope my brain doesn’t hemorrhage from the massive influx of college football greatness.

by BDoc on Aug 31, 2007 4:34 PM EDT reply actions

Hannah Montana’s your guest editor?

Wow, way to aggressively pursue that crucial tween girl demo.

by captaineclectic on Aug 31, 2007 4:36 PM EDT reply actions

I find Taco Mac to be vastly overrated, sir. Enjoy working on that beer passport though. I especially enjoyed the guy with a pen name refering to “himself” in the third person, excellent shit.

by Brian on Aug 31, 2007 4:41 PM EDT reply actions

Are you on speed? If that is what is on your brain you are on speed.

by Odell 51 on Aug 31, 2007 4:44 PM EDT reply actions

College freaking fooball

Hell Yeah

by R.D. Baker - Retired Blogger on Aug 31, 2007 4:49 PM EDT reply actions

Poetry ? ‘Extirpated’ in the prior post? Orson, you’re not going all John Mackovick on us, are you?

by Sam on Aug 31, 2007 4:54 PM EDT reply actions

Are you going to tell us what time on Sunday the podcast is or do you just want us to guess? Is it also 7:30 p.m.?

by maskedavenger on Aug 31, 2007 4:56 PM EDT reply actions

7 p.m. to 9 p.m., EST. Corrected and mentioned in post.

by Orson Swindle on Aug 31, 2007 5:00 PM EDT reply actions

At 4 p.m. on a Friday, my brain sounds more like “Chocolate and Cheese” by Ween. However, come tomorrow, it’ll sound more like “Tornado” by Mindless Self-Indulgence". Cheers.

by RedDevilEA on Aug 31, 2007 5:00 PM EDT reply actions

Don’t forget to enter your goddamn blogpoll ballot. Might as well extend the post…

Wednesday, 9:58: Fucking Brian bothers us about the blogpoll again.

by Brian @ MGoBlog on Aug 31, 2007 5:19 PM EDT reply actions

Nice brain music. Try not to let your raging hard on puncture the windshield on the way home.

by Allahver Fist on Aug 31, 2007 5:24 PM EDT reply actions

Oh my fucking god, it’s almost time. I’ve never felt so alive.

by PeteJayhawk on Aug 31, 2007 6:34 PM EDT reply actions

Hmm, wings, a hojillion beers, and a chance to cyberstalk Swindle.

I think I have a date in The Dec tomorrow.

by JacketDan on Aug 31, 2007 6:52 PM EDT reply actions

Syracuse’s uniforms are hideous.

by John on Aug 31, 2007 8:14 PM EDT reply actions

Not as hideous as Oregon’s.

by Rob on Aug 31, 2007 8:24 PM EDT reply actions

#14, agreed. And it’s a good thing God invented the ‘mute’ button….Schrutebag is on the TV for some reason and spewing total vomit.

by aerobab on Aug 31, 2007 8:25 PM EDT reply actions

Syracuse wants nothing to do with your newfangled “fourth” downs.

by Boy Howdy on Aug 31, 2007 8:26 PM EDT reply actions

Way to screw up the enjambment on the last line of the poem. I seriously doubt that James Wright would have put a line break there. Pffft, ametuers.

by fangirl on Aug 31, 2007 9:00 PM EDT reply actions

Orson – word to the wise: Taco Mac is the site of the App State viewing party from 11-…whenever the carnage ceases.

Come out and support the ‘Neers, but don’t plan on watching much else.

by Tricky Dick on Aug 31, 2007 11:35 PM EDT reply actions

The Branch Will Not Break is one of my favorite poetry books. it also happens to be one of three poetry books i’ve ever read, thank you high school english teacher. i’m so happy i might explode.

gentlemen (and ladies), I LEFT THE BAR TONIGHT AT 12:30 SO I CAN GET UP EARLY TOMORROW TO START GRILLING ANDDRINKING BEER.

only one event in this universe could make me leave the bar early. and that’s

GATOR FOOTBALL WOOOOOOOO YOYOYOYO FOOBAW!!!!!

by Cameron Siggs on Sep 1, 2007 1:32 AM EDT reply actions

Agree with #3 regarding Taco Mac.

Orson, where’s the poem from? You, I hope.

by OhioDawg on Sep 1, 2007 11:19 AM EDT reply actions

I almost forgot. You heard it here first two years ago – UC (that’s CINCINNATI to you, friend) is going to break into the top 25 w/in 3 years.

How long has it been since we did anything? So long that we overreact to an assbeating of a Div IAA team.

by OhioDawg on Sep 1, 2007 11:21 AM EDT reply actions

Is it gametime yet?

How about now?

Now?

Sweet googly moogly, I’m excited for today. Not Larry Craig’s wide stance, excited, but … you know, pretty pumped.

by Eirishis on Sep 1, 2007 11:27 AM EDT reply actions

Hey OU cheat’n again. NCAA going to do something this time?

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/ncaa/08/31/oklahoma.arrest.ap/index.html

Oklahoma freshman arrested
Broyles allegedly attempted to steal gas from pump
Posted: Friday August 31, 2007 3:45PM; Updated: Friday August 31, 2007 4:00PM

NORMAN, Okla. (AP) — Police arrested a University of Oklahoma freshman football player early Friday on an accusation that he tried to steal gasoline from a convenience store pump.
Ryan Broyles, 19, was booked into the Cleveland County Detention Center at 12:10 a.m. on attempted larceny accusations and was released at 3:44 a.m. after posting $200 cash bond.
A police officer saw him at a closed gasoline station. He had a key and codes with which the pump could be activated, police Capt. Leonard Judy said. The key was in the pump.
The officer contacted the owner of the business and confirmed that Broyles did not work there and never has.
Broyles was an all-state selection at Norman High School last season. He had 44 receptions of 908 yards and rushed for 345. He also scored 20 touchdowns. Broyles was listed as the second-team wide receiver on OU’s depth chart for Saturday’s season opener against North Texas.
Oklahoma athletic department spokesman Kenny Mossman said Broyles has been suspended from the team indefinitely.
Broyles orally committed to play at Oklahoma State in the fall but changed his mind in the week leading up to signing day.

by mike charlotte on Sep 1, 2007 11:37 AM EDT reply actions

I love that poem, always have. It’s so damned evocative of my time spent in the rust belt, and that sense of hope and anticipation that comes with the cooling of the weather and the familiar crack of pads reverberating across the stunted hills. Thanks, I love it more everytime it comes up, and thankfully, there are people like you out there who will reprint it regularly. Now it’s time for my favorite addiction once more to commence.

by okhrana on Sep 1, 2007 12:18 PM EDT reply actions

geez. teeeeeeeebow needs to learn to throw.

by adam b on Sep 1, 2007 1:35 PM EDT reply actions

Hey Meeeeechigan fans…how does that “cupcake” taste right now???

by Touchdown74 on Sep 1, 2007 1:37 PM EDT reply actions

Orson – you at Taco Mac?

Allah willing, this will be the greatest upset in CFB history!

by Tricky Dick on Sep 1, 2007 1:56 PM EDT reply actions

Hot… Hot……….HOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by Sean on Sep 1, 2007 3:03 PM EDT reply actions

APPALACHIAN STATE IS HOT HOT HOT!!!

by swampchomp on Sep 1, 2007 3:52 PM EDT reply actions

Seeing that smug, sanctimonious Carr get absolutely humiliated (again!) – well, it’s pretty damn sweet. And I can say, with a fair degree of certainty, that he won’t have to worry about getting out-lobbied en route to the title game this year.

by peachy on Sep 1, 2007 3:56 PM EDT reply actions

100 cocktails to the Mountaineers.

by Tricky Dick on Sep 1, 2007 4:05 PM EDT reply actions

My dad is from 20 miles outside Ann Arbor — I grew up a Michigan fan before I went to Florida. Michigan is the winningest team in CFB, but Llyod has to be the biggest Lloser in their history.

That said, I watched App State win their last 2 champisonships. The offense is exciting and dynamic and plays extremely uptempo. Congratulations to the boys from Boone.

I couldnt watch the game today but anyone know why Mike Hart didn’t play for half of it?

by Lars on Sep 1, 2007 4:07 PM EDT reply actions