FRIDAY CHEESECAKE: PISSING OFF SWINDLE EDITION
I’ve known señor Swindle since around 1992. I like the guy. Really, I do. But sometimes he needs a little tweaking now and again. On that score, we bring you Orson’s least favorite cheesecake option of all time to celebrate the end of the offseason when we desperately need the weekly distractions. Without further ado, EDSBS’s Friday Cheesecake is the distinctly non-latin, silicon-filled, college football lovin’, Bobby Bowden worshiping Jen Sterger.
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1
Mack10zie says:
I guess at Free Shoes, all the action in in the stands lately.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:26 am
2
oc phil says:
Why don’t you just pour some lemon juice in this paper cut here?
August 31st, 2007 at 10:27 am
3
Sir Ginho of the 216 says:
This post is ‘destinctly’ not Orson. Orson can spell.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:27 am
4
DevilGrad says:
Something about that photo speaks to me. And what it says is “inflate to 45 psi.”
August 31st, 2007 at 10:27 am
5
Gatorpilot says:
Melanoma Stanklet!
August 31st, 2007 at 10:27 am
6
Domer Guy says:
Yawn.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:29 am
7
PeteJayhawk says:
#4,
I believe I recently received an email from her. Melanoma J. Stanklet, actually. She was telling me about this awesome herbal V1agr@.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:32 am
8
Scalz1 says:
I would like to personally thank MR and Mrs Sterger for producing a fine posterior like that. The rest, well … meh.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:33 am
9
Oops Pow Surprise says:
I believe Senor Swindle put it best when he referred to those as “silicone famebags.”
August 31st, 2007 at 10:37 am
10
Allahver Fist says:
I can distinctly read “Spalding” through their tops in the first pic. Fucking rats.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:37 am
11
Stranko Montana says:
That is true, Orson can spell and I cannot. In the words of Side Show Bob “guilty as charged”… but that one was a typo.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:39 am
12
Justin Cliburn says:
Remember fellas, if you can touch them, they’re real.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:41 am
13
The Stos says:
I don’t understand why she gets all the attention, the brain dead brunette next to her in the first pic is way hotter.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:42 am
14
SMQ says:
Orson was telling me about your day job, Stranko. Uh…don’t sweat the spelling here.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:47 am
15
BDoc says:
Cheesecake? More like cherry pie made with splenda.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:48 am
16
gerry dorsey says:
i don’t care what you think of her, she looks pretty damn solid in the second pic.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:49 am
17
That 5.0 Guy (Now at Work!) says:
So basically she’s just one half-naked female fan, and overrated at that. Do you think she ever asked one of the players at FSU to keep his helmet and pads on, cause she was into it?
August 31st, 2007 at 10:52 am
18
GTSteve says:
I moved from Georgia to New York. Pictures like this exist to remind me every Friday what a terrible mistake I made.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:52 am
19
Brian says:
Heh. There was a hispanic lookin’ girl in their crew of skanks at one point, who did actually kindof have a bunda.
I’m going to guess you’ve got ACTUAL cheesecake to follow this right?
August 31st, 2007 at 10:55 am
20
PeterPumpkinhead says:
I’m pretty sure she’s the hottest girl I’ve ever despised.
August 31st, 2007 at 11:01 am
21
GamecockTony says:
I don’t care what any of you say, I’d still hit that.
I’d probably slit her throat and then mine immediately following, but still…..
August 31st, 2007 at 11:04 am
22
Bronco says:
She’s hot, and loves Football.. What more can I guy want!? You all can say what you want but I will always, always love Jenn Sterger.
August 31st, 2007 at 11:09 am
23
Lumpkin rhymes with Blumpkin says:
They all taste the same.
August 31st, 2007 at 11:10 am
24
Hook'em Tide says:
I hate her. I’d still make throat babies with her, but I hate her.
Get some real Bunda please. I’d even take asian chicks at this point (no offense, just not into asian chicks in a sexual way)
August 31st, 2007 at 11:14 am
25
kleph says:
your tounge is not the primary sensory organ that you have to worry about.
August 31st, 2007 at 11:15 am
26
Mark says:
Where is the Playboy picture?
August 31st, 2007 at 11:16 am
27
Brian says:
Wow I gotta say she sounds a lot more respectable than I woulda’ thought. Actually pleased to know that.
August 31st, 2007 at 11:31 am
28
Doug says:
Yeah, uh-huh, she’s nasty, you wouldn’t touch her with a 10-foot pole, blah blah . . . and Larry Craig is as straight as the day is long.
I agree with GamecockTony and Bronco — there may be plenty of saline/silicone in them thar hills, but she’s still cute.
August 31st, 2007 at 11:38 am
29
Signal to Noise says:
Yes, I’d go for the Cowgirl. Repeatedly.
It’d be a groovy kind of hate-fuck, though.
August 31st, 2007 at 11:44 am
30
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
She ain’t no Miss South Carolina, but most would hit that anyway.
If Stranko really wanted to bother Swindle, he would have posted her band pictures from her pre-Free Shoes Univ days.
August 31st, 2007 at 11:50 am
31
Stephen says:
How did this chick get more famous than the other equally hot skanks in student sections all over this country?
August 31st, 2007 at 11:58 am
32
DC Trojan says:
Eh, beggars can’t be choosers.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:05 pm
33
Dave says:
One word: Marketing savvy.
Er… Hey, South Africa!
August 31st, 2007 at 12:06 pm
34
Kanu says:
Weak sauce.
-100 cocktails to you, Sir.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:11 pm
35
The Last Dragon says:
I’m amazed at the haterade being thrown her way. I’ve always thought my standards were fairly high and I she’s welcome in the sack with me anytime. She may not look like the typical bunda pics. But there’s probably a lot more airbrushing going on in those. And since when are fake boobies a bad thing. I feel like I’m at an old maid convention.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:12 pm
36
Stranko Montana says:
I think Orson would prefer the Band pictures… being an alumnist of such organizations himself.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:13 pm
37
NoleinTexas says:
Would I do her? God yes. I’d do her in my mothers grave if that’s what she’s into.
Would I respect myself in the morning? Probably not. I’d probably have to try to date rape myself like Janikowski to give myself a greater reason to look away from mirrors.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:19 pm
38
daas says:
in reply to post #24:
my god man you don’t know what you’re missing out on.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:28 pm
39
D-Sweet says:
Throw a couple grocery bags over her face, compress those bolt-ons a bit and have her take a swim in some aloe first – then I’d hit it.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:33 pm
40
Southern Papa says:
Lots of money went into that there body, I tell ya.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:42 pm
41
Zona says:
I agree with 35. I’ve never understood the haters – it really does sound like an Oprah audience sometimes.
Also, I thought we were going to change the Cheesecake flavor sometime this summer. The exclusively Latin American thing is nice, but it’s getting old. After a certain point it reminds me of a grad student who smokes foreign cigarettes to be more worldly. Look! Look how sophisticated we are on this board! We’re not like those blue-collar slobs!
On the other hand, I’ve watched hours of Univision without understanding a word of it, and this is one of the best boards in the business. So, carry on.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:49 pm
42
PW says:
Yep, it’s official. That black dude with the dreads in the bottom picture put some kind of voodoo curse on me with his eyes.
Seriously, try looking at him for more than 3 seconds and see if he doesn’t steal your soul.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:53 pm
43
Tom says:
Ya’ll’s standards are way too high. I’d only need maybe one scotch to hit it. And no, fake boobies are not a bad thing, as long as they’re naked and in the sack with me.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:58 pm
44
Wooderson says:
I’d buy that for a dollar.
August 31st, 2007 at 1:31 pm
45
Holly says:
Ugh. I wouldn’t hit that with Condi Rice’s dick.
August 31st, 2007 at 1:47 pm
46
ness says:
two words…
“Cadaverous Lay”
August 31st, 2007 at 1:50 pm
47
Doug says:
+2 Holly. Or Ann Coulter’s.
August 31st, 2007 at 2:04 pm
48
oc phil says:
One hundred cocktails to Holly.
August 31st, 2007 at 2:26 pm
49
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Holly: You do not understand men. Guys are lined around the block for these types of young ladies, just note every one of their pictures in public. It’s a curse that you-know-what over rides all rational thinking regarding women, especially after a drink or two.
August 31st, 2007 at 2:27 pm
50
Stephen says:
Look I’m not saying I wouldn’t hit it. And I do recognize the hypocrisy inherent in wanting to kick Sammy Sosa back to the Dominican for corking a bat while excusing these girls for loading their blouses. All I’m saying is there are girls that hot all over Auburn/Ole Miss/Alabama/UGA/name school here’s campus and we don’t know their names. I just don’t get why they’re famous…
Note of warning on UGA, you must be able to stand girls in tight red pants with black blouses or you cut your chances in half and you’ll be stuck only with those in tight black pants and red blouses.
August 31st, 2007 at 2:30 pm
51
Stephen says:
#49 Holly –
You’re right. It takes until about 21 to realize that those who parade it just want the attention. My brother in law sent this that sums it up.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/bar_skanks_announce_plans_to_kiss
August 31st, 2007 at 2:33 pm
52
The Stos says:
If I got use Condi’s dick, I’d probably hit it.
August 31st, 2007 at 2:36 pm
53
The Stos says:
If I got to use Condi’s dick, I’d probably hit it.
August 31st, 2007 at 2:36 pm
54
omfdg says:
late to the posting but…
**Does anyone remember the photo of that goddess from NC State?**
LINK PLEASE THANKS.
August 31st, 2007 at 2:48 pm
55
Pants McPants says:
Like my buddy says “Just because the teams you play are better than you does not necessarily mean you have a tough schedule”…
Just because we’re male, straight, and desperate does not necessarily mean Jen Sterger is hot…
August 31st, 2007 at 2:50 pm
56
Miller says:
I’d let her (Sterger) blow me…
However, WHERE is the bunda!? I DEMAND the bunda, sir!! We have become accustomed to a lifestyle that delivers us teh hot, juicy latina/hispanic/South American beauties on Friday afternoon, and I will not rest until I SEE SOME GODDAMNED ARGENTINIAN/BRAZILIAN/CHILEAN/WHEREVER BUNDA!!
Damn you!
August 31st, 2007 at 2:54 pm
57
Holly says:
I might fuck her with Coulter’s dick, actually. That might just be the line for me.
August 31st, 2007 at 2:55 pm
58
Mike says:
It is true that there just as good looking girls at other schools. This fskank got famous cause nobody could stand to watch the Nole football team in action.
August 31st, 2007 at 3:06 pm
59
Dave says:
There needs to be some new rule or man law or whatever.
If you’re going to criticize a woman like this and claim you wouldn’t hit it, you should be required to post pictures of your girlfriend/wife that you apparently claim is hotter.
We could all be so lucky.
August 31st, 2007 at 3:18 pm
60
Brian says:
And this one time, at band camp…
(you know she tried it too)
August 31st, 2007 at 3:30 pm
61
Palouse says:
#54….you must mean this one….a classic. Enjoy.
August 31st, 2007 at 3:39 pm
62
Brian says:
I think I’m in love.
August 31st, 2007 at 3:46 pm
63
sb says:
Jen is living proof of my favorite Florida econ professor’s pet theory…”Every woman is sitting on a potential goldmine…her wealth is strictly dependent on her ability to market.”
August 31st, 2007 at 3:55 pm
64
The Last Dragon says:
#59. Amen brother.
August 31st, 2007 at 4:08 pm
65
Brian says:
#63: Awesome professor. She was probably so jaded in her day to day life though as a woman and economist.
August 31st, 2007 at 4:20 pm
66
Beatuofa says:
#59 — better yet, post a pic of the least attractive woman you’ve been with, just so we can see exactly how high your standards are. That’d shut everyone up real quick.
August 31st, 2007 at 5:04 pm
67
numberedhats says:
worst. cheesecake. ever.
August 31st, 2007 at 6:06 pm
68
Andy says:
One Word – Skank
August 31st, 2007 at 6:38 pm
69
Uncle Brian says:
Its like a t-shirt I once saw at spring break “Keep your mouth shut you are much prettier that way”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cUYE8Y_GuU
August 31st, 2007 at 6:58 pm
70
tempebamafan says:
Sucrolose may be synthetic and potentially cancer causing- but it sure is sweet.
August 31st, 2007 at 7:59 pm
71
sb says:
Brian @ #69…the professor was male…and there is also a physiological corrollary to this that has been proven…but that is another thread in and of itself. Ah, life is a wonderful, continuous, Gator experience…we just provide each other with incredible material for future experimentation…high school to Gatordom to real life…what a life.
August 31st, 2007 at 9:12 pm
72
sb says:
Sorry.. that was Brian at #65…and Brian…even then, pre-PC, this was not taken well in class.
August 31st, 2007 at 9:15 pm
73
omfgd says:
#61
That’s the one, yep. so $
September 3rd, 2007 at 9:16 pm
74
W says:
She would laugh at all your little peckers, she said if you had an inch less you would have a scar on your ass!
September 13th, 2007 at 12:40 pm