FRIDAY CHEESECAKE: PISSING OFF SWINDLE EDITION

by Stranko on Aug 31, 2007 11:23 AM EDT

I've known señor Swindle since around 1992. I like the guy. Really, I do. But sometimes he needs a little tweaking now and again. On that score, we bring you Orson's least favorite cheesecake option of all time to celebrate the end of the offseason when we desperately need the weekly distractions. Without further ado, EDSBS's Friday Cheesecake is the distinctly non-latin, silicon-filled, college football lovin', Bobby Bowden worshiping Jen Sterger.

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I guess at Free Shoes, all the action in in the stands lately.

by Mack10zie on Aug 31, 2007 11:26 AM EDT reply actions

Why don’t you just pour some lemon juice in this paper cut here?

by oc phil on Aug 31, 2007 11:27 AM EDT reply actions

This post is ‘destinctly’ not Orson. Orson can spell.

by Sir Ginho of the 216 on Aug 31, 2007 11:27 AM EDT reply actions

Something about that photo speaks to me. And what it says is “inflate to 45 psi.”

by DevilGrad on Aug 31, 2007 11:27 AM EDT reply actions

Melanoma Stanklet!

by Gatorpilot on Aug 31, 2007 11:27 AM EDT reply actions

Yawn.

by Domer Guy on Aug 31, 2007 11:29 AM EDT reply actions

#4,

I believe I recently received an email from her. Melanoma J. Stanklet, actually. She was telling me about this awesome herbal V1agr@.

by PeteJayhawk on Aug 31, 2007 11:32 AM EDT reply actions

I would like to personally thank MR and Mrs Sterger for producing a fine posterior like that. The rest, well … meh.

by Scalz1 on Aug 31, 2007 11:33 AM EDT reply actions

I believe Senor Swindle put it best when he referred to those as “silicone famebags.”

by Oops Pow Surprise on Aug 31, 2007 11:37 AM EDT reply actions

I can distinctly read “Spalding” through their tops in the first pic. Fucking rats.

by Allahver Fist on Aug 31, 2007 11:37 AM EDT reply actions

That is true, Orson can spell and I cannot. In the words of Side Show Bob “guilty as charged”… but that one was a typo.

by Stranko Montana on Aug 31, 2007 11:39 AM EDT reply actions

Remember fellas, if you can touch them, they’re real.

by Justin Cliburn on Aug 31, 2007 11:41 AM EDT reply actions

I don’t understand why she gets all the attention, the brain dead brunette next to her in the first pic is way hotter.

by The Stos on Aug 31, 2007 11:42 AM EDT reply actions

Orson was telling me about your day job, Stranko. Uh…don’t sweat the spelling here.

by SMQ on Aug 31, 2007 11:47 AM EDT reply actions

Cheesecake? More like cherry pie made with splenda.

by BDoc on Aug 31, 2007 11:48 AM EDT reply actions

i don’t care what you think of her, she looks pretty damn solid in the second pic.

by gerry dorsey on Aug 31, 2007 11:49 AM EDT reply actions

So basically she’s just one half-naked female fan, and overrated at that. Do you think she ever asked one of the players at FSU to keep his helmet and pads on, cause she was into it?

by That 5.0 Guy (Now at Work!) on Aug 31, 2007 11:52 AM EDT reply actions

I moved from Georgia to New York. Pictures like this exist to remind me every Friday what a terrible mistake I made.

by GTSteve on Aug 31, 2007 11:52 AM EDT reply actions

Heh. There was a hispanic lookin’ girl in their crew of skanks at one point, who did actually kindof have a bunda.

I’m going to guess you’ve got ACTUAL cheesecake to follow this right?

by Brian on Aug 31, 2007 11:55 AM EDT reply actions

I’m pretty sure she’s the hottest girl I’ve ever despised.

by PeterPumpkinhead on Aug 31, 2007 12:01 PM EDT reply actions

I don’t care what any of you say, I’d still hit that.

I’d probably slit her throat and then mine immediately following, but still…..

by GamecockTony on Aug 31, 2007 12:04 PM EDT reply actions

She’s hot, and loves Football.. What more can I guy want!? You all can say what you want but I will always, always love Jenn Sterger.

by Bronco on Aug 31, 2007 12:09 PM EDT reply actions

They all taste the same.

by Lumpkin rhymes with Blumpkin on Aug 31, 2007 12:10 PM EDT reply actions

I hate her. I’d still make throat babies with her, but I hate her.

Get some real Bunda please. I’d even take asian chicks at this point (no offense, just not into asian chicks in a sexual way)

by Hook'em Tide on Aug 31, 2007 12:14 PM EDT reply actions

your tounge is not the primary sensory organ that you have to worry about.

by kleph on Aug 31, 2007 12:15 PM EDT reply actions

Where is the Playboy picture?

by Mark on Aug 31, 2007 12:16 PM EDT reply actions

Wow I gotta say she sounds a lot more respectable than I woulda’ thought. Actually pleased to know that.

by Brian on Aug 31, 2007 12:31 PM EDT reply actions

Yeah, uh-huh, she’s nasty, you wouldn’t touch her with a 10-foot pole, blah blah . . . and Larry Craig is as straight as the day is long.

I agree with GamecockTony and Bronco — there may be plenty of saline/silicone in them thar hills, but she’s still cute.

by Doug on Aug 31, 2007 12:38 PM EDT reply actions

Yes, I’d go for the Cowgirl. Repeatedly.

It’d be a groovy kind of hate-fuck, though.

by Signal to Noise on Aug 31, 2007 12:44 PM EDT reply actions

She ain’t no Miss South Carolina, but most would hit that anyway.

If Stranko really wanted to bother Swindle, he would have posted her band pictures from her pre-Free Shoes Univ days.

by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Aug 31, 2007 12:50 PM EDT reply actions

How did this chick get more famous than the other equally hot skanks in student sections all over this country?

by Stephen on Aug 31, 2007 12:58 PM EDT reply actions

Eh, beggars can’t be choosers.

by DC Trojan on Aug 31, 2007 1:05 PM EDT reply actions

One word: Marketing savvy.

Er… Hey, South Africa!

by Dave on Aug 31, 2007 1:06 PM EDT reply actions

Weak sauce.

-100 cocktails to you, Sir.

by Kanu on Aug 31, 2007 1:11 PM EDT reply actions

I’m amazed at the haterade being thrown her way. I’ve always thought my standards were fairly high and I she’s welcome in the sack with me anytime. She may not look like the typical bunda pics. But there’s probably a lot more airbrushing going on in those. And since when are fake boobies a bad thing. I feel like I’m at an old maid convention.

by The Last Dragon on Aug 31, 2007 1:12 PM EDT reply actions

I think Orson would prefer the Band pictures… being an alumnist of such organizations himself.

by Stranko Montana on Aug 31, 2007 1:13 PM EDT reply actions

Would I do her? God yes. I’d do her in my mothers grave if that’s what she’s into.

Would I respect myself in the morning? Probably not. I’d probably have to try to date rape myself like Janikowski to give myself a greater reason to look away from mirrors.

by NoleinTexas on Aug 31, 2007 1:19 PM EDT reply actions

in reply to post #24:

my god man you don’t know what you’re missing out on.

by daas on Aug 31, 2007 1:28 PM EDT reply actions

Throw a couple grocery bags over her face, compress those bolt-ons a bit and have her take a swim in some aloe first – then I’d hit it.

by D-Sweet on Aug 31, 2007 1:33 PM EDT reply actions

Lots of money went into that there body, I tell ya.

by Southern Papa on Aug 31, 2007 1:42 PM EDT reply actions

I agree with 35. I’ve never understood the haters – it really does sound like an Oprah audience sometimes.

Also, I thought we were going to change the Cheesecake flavor sometime this summer. The exclusively Latin American thing is nice, but it’s getting old. After a certain point it reminds me of a grad student who smokes foreign cigarettes to be more worldly. Look! Look how sophisticated we are on this board! We’re not like those blue-collar slobs!

On the other hand, I’ve watched hours of Univision without understanding a word of it, and this is one of the best boards in the business. So, carry on.

by Zona on Aug 31, 2007 1:49 PM EDT reply actions

Yep, it’s official. That black dude with the dreads in the bottom picture put some kind of voodoo curse on me with his eyes.

Seriously, try looking at him for more than 3 seconds and see if he doesn’t steal your soul.

by PW on Aug 31, 2007 1:53 PM EDT reply actions

Ya’ll’s standards are way too high. I’d only need maybe one scotch to hit it. And no, fake boobies are not a bad thing, as long as they’re naked and in the sack with me.

by Tom on Aug 31, 2007 1:58 PM EDT reply actions

I’d buy that for a dollar.

by Wooderson on Aug 31, 2007 2:31 PM EDT reply actions

Ugh. I wouldn’t hit that with Condi Rice’s dick.

by Holly on Aug 31, 2007 2:47 PM EDT reply actions

two words…

“Cadaverous Lay”

by ness on Aug 31, 2007 2:50 PM EDT reply actions

+2 Holly. Or Ann Coulter’s.

by Doug on Aug 31, 2007 3:04 PM EDT reply actions

One hundred cocktails to Holly.

by oc phil on Aug 31, 2007 3:26 PM EDT reply actions

Holly: You do not understand men. Guys are lined around the block for these types of young ladies, just note every one of their pictures in public. It’s a curse that you-know-what over rides all rational thinking regarding women, especially after a drink or two.

by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Aug 31, 2007 3:27 PM EDT reply actions

Look I’m not saying I wouldn’t hit it. And I do recognize the hypocrisy inherent in wanting to kick Sammy Sosa back to the Dominican for corking a bat while excusing these girls for loading their blouses. All I’m saying is there are girls that hot all over Auburn/Ole Miss/Alabama/UGA/name school here’s campus and we don’t know their names. I just don’t get why they’re famous…

Note of warning on UGA, you must be able to stand girls in tight red pants with black blouses or you cut your chances in half and you’ll be stuck only with those in tight black pants and red blouses.

by Stephen on Aug 31, 2007 3:30 PM EDT reply actions

Holly -

You’re right. It takes until about 21 to realize that those who parade it just want the attention. My brother in law sent this that sums it up.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/bar_skanks_announce_plans_to_kiss

by Stephen on Aug 31, 2007 3:33 PM EDT reply actions

If I got use Condi’s dick, I’d probably hit it.

by The Stos on Aug 31, 2007 3:36 PM EDT reply actions

If I got to use Condi’s dick, I’d probably hit it.

by The Stos on Aug 31, 2007 3:36 PM EDT reply actions

late to the posting but…

Does anyone remember the photo of that goddess from NC State?

LINK PLEASE THANKS.

by omfdg on Aug 31, 2007 3:48 PM EDT reply actions

Like my buddy says “Just because the teams you play are better than you does not necessarily mean you have a tough schedule”…

Just because we’re male, straight, and desperate does not necessarily mean Jen Sterger is hot…

by Pants McPants on Aug 31, 2007 3:50 PM EDT reply actions

I’d let her (Sterger) blow me…

However, WHERE is the bunda!? I DEMAND the bunda, sir!! We have become accustomed to a lifestyle that delivers us teh hot, juicy latina/hispanic/South American beauties on Friday afternoon, and I will not rest until I SEE SOME GODDAMNED ARGENTINIAN/BRAZILIAN/CHILEAN/WHEREVER BUNDA!!

Damn you!

by Miller on Aug 31, 2007 3:54 PM EDT reply actions

I might fuck her with Coulter’s dick, actually. That might just be the line for me.

by Holly on Aug 31, 2007 3:55 PM EDT reply actions

It is true that there just as good looking girls at other schools. This fskank got famous cause nobody could stand to watch the Nole football team in action.

by Mike on Aug 31, 2007 4:06 PM EDT reply actions

There needs to be some new rule or man law or whatever.

If you’re going to criticize a woman like this and claim you wouldn’t hit it, you should be required to post pictures of your girlfriend/wife that you apparently claim is hotter.

We could all be so lucky.

by Dave on Aug 31, 2007 4:18 PM EDT reply actions

And this one time, at band camp…

(you know she tried it too)

by Brian on Aug 31, 2007 4:30 PM EDT reply actions

#54….you must mean this one….a classic. Enjoy.

by Palouse on Aug 31, 2007 4:39 PM EDT reply actions

I think I’m in love.

by Brian on Aug 31, 2007 4:46 PM EDT reply actions

Jen is living proof of my favorite Florida econ professor’s pet theory…“Every woman is sitting on a potential goldmine…her wealth is strictly dependent on her ability to market.”

by sb on Aug 31, 2007 4:55 PM EDT reply actions

#59. Amen brother.

by The Last Dragon on Aug 31, 2007 5:08 PM EDT reply actions

#63: Awesome professor. She was probably so jaded in her day to day life though as a woman and economist.

by Brian on Aug 31, 2007 5:20 PM EDT reply actions

— better yet, post a pic of the least attractive woman you’ve been with, just so we can see exactly how high your standards are. That’d shut everyone up real quick.

by Beatuofa on Aug 31, 2007 6:04 PM EDT reply actions

worst. cheesecake. ever.

by numberedhats on Aug 31, 2007 7:06 PM EDT reply actions

One Word – Skank

by Andy on Aug 31, 2007 7:38 PM EDT reply actions

Its like a t-shirt I once saw at spring break “Keep your mouth shut you are much prettier that way”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cUYE8Y_GuU

by Uncle Brian on Aug 31, 2007 7:58 PM EDT reply actions

Sucrolose may be synthetic and potentially cancer causing- but it sure is sweet.

by tempebamafan on Aug 31, 2007 8:59 PM EDT reply actions

Brian @ #69…the professor was male…and there is also a physiological corrollary to this that has been proven…but that is another thread in and of itself. Ah, life is a wonderful, continuous, Gator experience…we just provide each other with incredible material for future experimentation…high school to Gatordom to real life…what a life.

by sb on Aug 31, 2007 10:12 PM EDT reply actions