SABAN: NEXT FRIDAY...IS HAWAIIAN SHIRT DAY
by Orson on Aug 30, 2007 11:39 AM EDT
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PrintSeparated at birth? Thanks to reader Thor for the submission proving that Saban may, in fact, be character actor Gary Cole. Meaning that Saban was superb in Talladega Nights last year, and once appeared as "Alan McClafferty" on an episode of Moonlighting, and all but guarantees that a movie will be at least moderately awesome.
All that and a 325 page defensive playbook? Alabama, you got more of a bargain than you'll ever know, friends.
(Note: We're also stressing the tensile comic strength of Office Space references here, yes. But for science's sake, we're willing to take that chance.)
Step one: Saban unadorned.
Step two: Saban, accessorized:
Step three: Um, yeah....
Alabama, you're coming on Saturday. Not that you'll mind one bit. But we're gonna need you to come in, yeah...all 85,000 of you.
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We’re probably going to have to have you come in on Sunday too, we lost a few people this week and need to play catch up. Ok?
by Wooderson on Aug 30, 2007 11:43 AM EDT reply actions
Yeah. It’s just we’re putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that’d be great. All right!
by BuckeyeDan on Aug 30, 2007 11:47 AM EDT reply actions
It’s like a mix of Lumbergh and Stuart Smalley. Good gracious, that’s frightening.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Aug 30, 2007 11:47 AM EDT reply actions
Yea . . . I don’t have time for this shit, mmmkay? Great.
by Majorly English on Aug 30, 2007 11:47 AM EDT reply actions
Nick “Michael Bolton” Saban doesn’t have time for that no talent ass clown shit.
by Tater Salad on Aug 30, 2007 11:48 AM EDT reply actions
85,000?! 92,000+ more like it.
Roll to the Tide to the Roll.
by Your Mom on Aug 30, 2007 11:48 AM EDT reply actions
Didn’t you get the memo about the TPS cover sheets? Ya, I’ll go ahead and make sure you get a copy of that memo.
Do you think he has sex while holding a coffee mug with business socks on?
by bhors on Aug 30, 2007 11:55 AM EDT reply actions
by GamecockTony on Aug 30, 2007 11:59 AM EDT reply actions
that would explain all the comments from office staff at his former stops
by PeterPumpkinhead on Aug 30, 2007 12:02 PM EDT reply actions
he’s thinking about showing erin andrews his “oh face.”
by gerry dorsey on Aug 30, 2007 12:02 PM EDT reply actions
Um Yeah, that’s my Crimson Stapler so I’ll just go ahead and take that back…..Les, we’re going to be moving you down to the basement.
by The deuce on Aug 30, 2007 12:03 PM EDT reply actions
This may be a stretch, but…
Would it be accurate to compare Tom to the Bama nation in the last year?
Miss St loss / initial part of Mal Moore coaching search = Tom trying to kill himself in the garage, and fucking that up too.
Hiring of Nick Saban = accidentally reversing into the street, only to be hit by large truck and receive exactly what he wanted to make life easier.
MNC (hopefully at some point) = Production of Jump to Conclusions mat
by Tater Salad on Aug 30, 2007 12:05 PM EDT reply actions
- Erin Andrews was recently let go from ESPN for not wearing enough flair.
Chan Gailey: “Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don’t have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?”
by Brian on Aug 30, 2007 12:06 PM EDT reply actions
I can’t believe it took until comment #10 to correct the stadium capacity
by Jerkwheat on Aug 30, 2007 12:07 PM EDT reply actions
No lie, i actually met a real life version of Milton and yea, he WAS a Gator.
by Brian on Aug 30, 2007 12:12 PM EDT reply actions
Yeah…I’m gonna need you to go ahead and fill up the stadium on Sunday too.
by robert on Aug 30, 2007 12:14 PM EDT reply actions
Test the tensile strength as much as you want. The combination of the title and picture was great.
by slicky on Aug 30, 2007 12:15 PM EDT reply actions
Sorry, I didn’t get the memo on reading comments, but I have read it now, and I’ve got a copy right here…
by robert on Aug 30, 2007 12:18 PM EDT reply actions
13, 20.
But if you ask Les to move his desk back one more time, he might, he’ll just burn down your stadium, that CRAPTASTIC DUMP YOU CALL BRYANT DENNY!!!!!
Actually, why burn it down? LSU and Auburn enjoy timesharing a second home. Gotta keep up with rich folks from Vandy and Ole Miss (snicker).
I can’t believe you number-challenged (got 12?), our mascot moonlights once a month in our mothers underwear, God forsaking (the Bear, the Saban, all you need is a Holy Spirit, oh wait, that’s Namath, he’s got tons of spirits in him), God forsaken (even He doesn’t love yall) idiots think LSU is going to lose to your no rush defense having team of losers.
You lose, good day sir.
.
.
.
Okay, got carried away there. Don’t know what came over me. Sorry guys.
by LSUJoshua on Aug 30, 2007 12:23 PM EDT reply actions
And what is this gay cabana boy pirate game ad doing here. Not appropriate. Unless it’s next to a post from RCR.
by LSUJoshua on Aug 30, 2007 12:25 PM EDT reply actions
Well, he does wear suspenders, and Nick Saban only rocks the Sansabelts.
by NewAZTiger on Aug 30, 2007 12:28 PM EDT reply actions
Tuberville: if they take my stapler I’m…going to…set the building on fire…
by Digital Headbutt on Aug 30, 2007 12:29 PM EDT reply actions
To: Josh
Are you really talking about owning someone in their home stadium?
Signed,
Dennis Franchione and the overwhelming majority of the second half of the 20th century.
by Living in the past on Aug 30, 2007 12:40 PM EDT reply actions
Sounds like somebody has a case of “The Mondays”
by Kerwin4two on Aug 30, 2007 12:40 PM EDT reply actions
SABAN: So, Les, what’s happening? Now are you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports for us this afternoon? (Les keeps playing) Uh, yeah. So I guess we should probably go ahead and have a little talk, hmm?
LES: Not right now, Saban. I’m, I’m kinda busy. In fact, I’m going to have to ask you to go ahead and just come back another time. I have a meeting with the SECC game and the BCS Title game in a couple of minutes.
SABAN: Uh, I wasn’t aware of a meeting with them.
LES: Yeah, they called me at home.
SABAN: That sounds good, Les. Uh, and we’ll go ahead and, uh, get this all fixed up for you later.
by Unhappy Monkey on Aug 30, 2007 12:41 PM EDT reply actions
I guess Mississippi State can be the copier….
by Sandman227 on Aug 30, 2007 12:49 PM EDT reply actions
…So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and only win six like you did in Miami last year.
by War Eagle on Aug 30, 2007 12:52 PM EDT reply actions
#31
I’m just glad you recognize the inherent authority the Saban has to order little Leslie Miles to move his desk…
by Sabanite on Aug 30, 2007 12:53 PM EDT reply actions
this is all well and good but if saban drops the game on nov 24 i’m likely to pull a Smykowski in the garage.
by kleph on Aug 30, 2007 1:02 PM EDT reply actions
hey you dumb ass it would fucking help to know what the damn stadium holds you shit for brains
by fucklesmilesrolltide on Aug 30, 2007 1:10 PM EDT reply actions
I guess I’m just going to have to say it. I am not going to move MIlton to the basement.
by Billy in Baton Rouge on Aug 30, 2007 1:12 PM EDT reply actions
FULMER: Hey Orgeron, what would you do if you were a decent coach and had a $4million dollar a year contract?
ORGERON: I’ll tell ya what I’d do… beat two teams at the same time. I’ve always wanted to do that. And I think if I were a good coach I could swing that.
FULMER: But not all teams would do that.
ORGERON: Well, the kind of teams that would lose to a dude like me would.
FULMER: Good Point.
ORGERON: What about you man.. what would you do?
FULMER: I would do nothing. I would sit on my ass all season and pull a paycheck.
ORGERON: Hell man, you dont need $5million a year to do nothin’. Take a look at Sly Croom. He doesn’t get $5million a year and he don’t do shit.
by Cincy on Aug 30, 2007 1:15 PM EDT reply actions
#44:
Wow. The Saban-OS pics were funny, but those quotes from the movie work perfectly for their teams and personalities, Cincy. Had me laughing like an idiot in a public place.
by Chris on Aug 30, 2007 1:51 PM EDT reply actions
Roll Tide? I believe you get your ass kicked sayin’ something like that.
by Lawrence on Aug 30, 2007 1:52 PM EDT reply actions
Saban always said if he had a million bucks, he’d do two chicks at the same time. Does that mean he’s going to do ten at the same time now?
by The Last Dragon on Aug 30, 2007 1:57 PM EDT reply actions
31, I recognize that and the rest of the metaphor that Saban’s place of business will be destroyed as a result of him being a dick.
by LSUJoshua on Aug 30, 2007 2:07 PM EDT reply actions
#51. If Miles died tomorrow and Saban wanted to return, LSU fans would welcome him in a heartbeat.
by The Last Dragon on Aug 30, 2007 2:21 PM EDT reply actions
Living in the Past,
I note that you ignore Auburn in your post, whom Joshua mentions. Why is that?
by MiseanAUfan on Aug 30, 2007 2:27 PM EDT reply actions
26
Stephen Root, who starred as Jummy James in “Newsradio,” the best television program ever, is from Tampa and went to UF. As did SNL’s Darrell Hammond.
by PW on Aug 30, 2007 2:40 PM EDT reply actions
“Jimmy” was another populay spelling of his name as well, as I recall.
by PW on Aug 30, 2007 2:41 PM EDT reply actions
“I’m gonna need you to go ahead and change that grade…yyeeaahhh…”
by Flibbetigibbet on Aug 30, 2007 2:55 PM EDT reply actions
his time in Baton Rouge was like being in Federal Coon-Ass Prison.
by PW on Aug 30, 2007 3:01 PM EDT reply actions
#54
Why did you have to go sticking your nose into this? You just can’t let it go. Always have to have approval from big brother.
Well little brother, the reason I didn’t include au in the post is because Alabama didn’t own Auburn in Jordan-Hare for the majority of “away” games in the second half of the twentieth century, mostly because the games were not played in Jordan-Hare until the 80s.
However, feel free to take the Franchione part and apply it. I mean, for God’s sake, Andrew Zow smoked Auburn that day like Wingnut smokes cock.
by Living in the past on Aug 30, 2007 3:14 PM EDT reply actions
to Josh:
How many games did LSU win against Alabama in Tiger Stadium between 1969 and 1998? Or did you not follow LSU football until Nick Saban made LSU into a real program?
by NOLAtide on Aug 30, 2007 3:14 PM EDT reply actions
I can just see Saban snapping at the “PC Load Letter.”
by Katy on Aug 30, 2007 3:51 PM EDT reply actions
#63, just joking. And yes, Zow did smoke us on that day, but Fran, if I’m not mistaken, was only 1-1 against us, as well as LSU, so he doesn’t “own” either team (to say nothing of the fact that a Bammer is defending Fran).
I really don’t get the “Big Brother” thing. We started playing first, and pre-hiatus, we had a lead in the series. We also won 3 conference titles before your first (in the SIAA), and (although we don’t count it, but Bammer logic would if it was theirs- see: 1941) a NC before you.
by MiseanAUfan on Aug 30, 2007 4:07 PM EDT reply actions
#68:
Fair enough. I think Fran is a shitbag, and I realize he was 1-1. my original response was only concerning victories at an opposing team’s home field. Fran was 1-0 against both.
As far as big brother/little brother, I don’t really buy into it. It’s just another lame shot at au, much like the “bammer” and NASCAR loving redneck lame shots at ua. The only real losers are the ones that actually buy into the stereotypes about the other schools.
I think a lot of the big brother/little brother thing has to do with (insert living in the past, Bear worshipping, etc. joke here) the Bryant years. I wouldn’t know, but the way people talk, and the way a lot of older au fans act, it comes across as some sort of chip on your shoulder. A very big chip. But I digress.
Fuck Auburn. That’s better.
by Living in the past on Aug 30, 2007 4:17 PM EDT reply actions
maybe this will help you get “the big brother thing” as you put it – how many sec championships does au have – 6, alabama: 21
by mp on Aug 30, 2007 4:17 PM EDT reply actions
mp,
more accomplished or decorated doesn’t mean “big” at least in terms of the term “big brother,” which means “older.” If you want to use Bammer doublespeak and call yourselves “big brother” go right ahead.
by MiseanAUfan on Aug 30, 2007 4:20 PM EDT reply actions
Oh, and just an addendum to my stereotyping comment:
The stereotyping, of course, excludes the (insert close relative or farm animal) fucking and studying of animal feces comments usually directed at AU. Because that’s totally true.
by Living in the past on Aug 30, 2007 4:22 PM EDT reply actions
Fortunately, I was not alive for most of the Bryant years (born in ’80), but had I have been alive, I would probably understand the chips on their shoulders, kinda like the chips most Bama fans have on their shoulders for losing to us for 5 years in a row, as if beating us is a birthright, after being spoiled so much during the Bryant era.
That being said, my dad (also an AU grad) was at the Goal Line Stand game against PSU, and I would have love to have seen that one, too, and would have been cheering for the Tide.
by MiseanAUfan on Aug 30, 2007 4:25 PM EDT reply actions
“The stereotyping, of course, excludes the (insert close relative or farm animal) fucking and studying of animal feces comments usually directed at AU. Because that’s totally true.”
Assuming that’s true, it applies to both schools, at least from understanding of fraternities at Alabama.
by MiseanAUfan on Aug 30, 2007 4:28 PM EDT reply actions
Haha touche AU, touche. You know, that’s another thing that makes the rivalry so great. Most UA/au fans know a ton about the other school, because most of us have friends that went to the other school, and have made numerous trips to the other school.
by Living in the past on Aug 30, 2007 4:36 PM EDT reply actions
I have to agree with #59
FUCK ALABAMA.
Not just the school either – the whole fucking turd-smelling, cock stain of a state. I’d rather live in fucking Missisippi than Alabama – at least you can gamble there.
So put that in your thread-jacking pipes and smoke it redneck motherfuckers.
by crabs on Aug 30, 2007 4:47 PM EDT reply actions
Crabs,
Just cuz I gave your mom a dirty sanchez doesn’t mean you have to hate the entire state.
Your sister liked her Cleveland Steamer, why can’t you just accept it?
by Steve on Aug 30, 2007 5:34 PM EDT reply actions
What does a bum in a trashcan at Nick Saban’s house have in common with Les Miles?
They both live off Saban’s leftovers.
Dewar’s,
PD’sL
by Pat Dye's Liver on Aug 31, 2007 12:06 PM EDT reply actions
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