CALL AMNESTY: RECE DAVIS IS NOT A FREE MAN

I lost it at the Beaker line.

Fuck it, I’m going deep and leaving 30 minutes early today.

FOOBAW HERE I COME!!!

My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Rece pass out in the middle of a Sun Belt conference preview last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

It’s amazing that they painted perfect pixelation on the message on that water tower.

Why is that crack-pipe so big and upside down?

Three hours until game time. Still got an hour of work left. Must hurry. Going to have to cram the usual 12-hours of pre-game ritual, i.e. whiskey, into two hours. Could end up in the hospital. Worth it.

TigerNacho I will band together with my fellow stiffs who are still at work on Eastern Standard time.

Did you see any of the “Outside the Lines” last night with Ara Parseghian, Lou “Granny Clampett” Holtz and Charlie Weis?

It’d have been the perfect time for Bristol to fall into the earth.

Also, I have to teach a night class tonight and won’t get home until about halfway through the second quarter.

Stupid education system.

Sitting in a meeting right now that’s taking tooooooo looooonnnnngg. It’s amazing how much dumber these people are when there’s a game in three hours. It’s more amazing I was dumb enough not to get out of this meeting.
Look at all them smiling. Asking for clarification. No one checking their watches. God damn Commies.

Thankfully we’ve got sports fans in this office. You need to paradigm shift yourself right the fuck outta there.

Really should be “Dithguthting.”

I just sneezed. I think I’m getting a cold. That could be contagious. I wouldn’t want to make anyone else sick, productivity and all. But I need more than one sneeze. Preferably a big snot ball on the table, something dramatic. Later they can say, “Hey, why did TigerNacho leave early?”
“Well, I think he was getting sick. You see the size of that snot ball? Damn.”
Come on God. I need another sneeze.

I literally just finished up doing the sweep to look and see if bosses were gone yet. I got down on my knees to peek under one guy’s closed door to see if the light was on or off. My Name’s Brian, and Im an addict.

What’s going on? is the Cubs-Brewers game on WGN after all?

(ducks)

As TigerNacho as my witness — he didn’t see this, but he is inspiring just now — I watched a bit of Rece during lunch at around the noonish hour. They played a clip from overnight where he interviewed June Jones via phone. When they came back to the supposed live shot Rece still looked composed, make-upped, well coifed, and … with a new tie?

If they wanted to make this about footbaw he would have been haggard, with three days of growth (“wearing jorts!”), yes, wearing jorts, and stinking of bourbon through the cable feed.

I’m just striving for authenticity here …

i’m shaking like tyrone bigguns. “is it almost football time yet?”

Tiger…now you’ve got me sneezing too…..[cough, cough]. Dangit, it looks like I’ll have to take myself home to get well.

AaaaaHH, AAAAAaaHHHHH… Fuck it. Can’t do it. I think I’ll just crap my pants and excuse myself. It’s the excuse that can’t be trumped. “Hey, where you goin? We’re not done.”
“Uh, I crapped my pants, hello?”
Okay, here we go.

Did this happen in anyone else’s office today?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQB9XcoD10Y

Did in ours. Charges are forthcoming.

Know what? Fuck the excuse.
I’m leaving in the middle of this thing. I don’t care what they think. Maybe they noticed I wore a purple shirt and gold time today, maybe they didn’t. Fuck ‘em either way.
It’s time for football. It’s time for drinkin’. It’s time for yellin’.
Here I go. You should all go, too. It’s just a fuckin job. There will be only one Thursday night opening game on the ESPN family of networks.
GEAUX TIGERS!!!!!!!!

Cant you pretend to answer an important call and just dip out? Can’t be much longer for ya, im dipping out in 10-15.

God damn it, I wore a gold tie today, a gold tie.
NOW, I’m leaving.

If it was my team no question id already be outta this bitch.

A Police reference? This makes my heart smile.

As is the case with a couple of others here, I have a class tonight that will keep me from making an appearance at a get-together for the first game at a friend’s house tonight… at least until the 2nd quarter.

I should call the instructor and let him know that much like Nick Saban, I don’t have time for this shit.

You’ve inspired me TigerNacho, I’m audi 5000.

#2

bueller…..bueller…..bueller….bueller….

LSU fan and a tacky dresser? What were the odds?

God bless Tiger fans who are willing to crap themselves at the office to, not so that they can see the game, but merely to start drinking before the game begins. I love my school!

1. - it sure is; 7:05 central, Lilly on the mound. You can’t get away from the fucking Cubs here in Chicago (still better than watching Northwestern or Illinois – and thank god yahoo shows real football.)

1. - 1 in 10, actually.
   Update – for those who give a damn:
   Made it home, just finished my first Daddy drink, about to fix my second. The oil’s getting hot for the fish fry – speckled trout, brother-in-law’s treat – and my no-good friends are on the way. Glad I left work.
   Have a happy opening night mother fuckers.

And the people who walked in darkness have seen a great light

TigerNacho, you just made my night. So glad to know I wasn’t the only one at work today trying to weasel my way out of every commitment. Enjoy the soggy drubbing of tonight’s game.

Yeah, as usual, ESPN’s grandiose self-advertising proves to be a half-truth at best. Thier “25 hours” consisted of 8 hours of actual live material, 8 hours of Sportscenter, and 9 hours of rehashed features (mostly Sally Struthers/Shelley Smith making doe eyes at John David Booty).

At least we have actual games to watch and talk about, not just “How Great Is USC?”

Actually, much of the late night stuff was pre-recorded as well (DVR- god’s gift to the worker) – posers.

Mark May did make a thinly veiled comment about opening “presents”.

Actually, it’s the Pitt Victory DONG, not song.

With the trades and acquisitions made going into the draft, plus the bulk of the team that is carried over from last season, and the trades and draft picks made during the draft, it sure seems like the Pats are going to be the team to beat in the AFC this season, and perhaps in all of the NFL.

Considering the Pats were almost in the Superbowl last season with a pathetic receiving corps and that they’ve added very talented players into said receiving corps this season, barring some nasty injury(ies), they look to be the team to take it all.I say injury(ies) because I think they could survive an injury or two to some positions, but if they lost Brady they’d probably have a hard time recovering.

I wish I could say that the Redskins did well in the draft and/or in free agency but so many holes still exist that I’m not sure they’ll be significantly better than last season. I suppose on face they should be if they can keep their corners healthy. With Landry (argh, hard to type that name as a Redskin!!) back there with a healthy secondary they might be able to cheat up more and put more pressure on opposing QBs. Might.

They still have what should be a lot of talent in the receiving positions, and Campbell should be better, but they don’t have the quality on either line (offense or defense) that I wish they’d have, so it could be yet another year of .500 at best, or worse.

Still, the NFC East looks to be the NFC Least again this season. None of the teams there look like they’ll be that good, and none really look ready to step up and take the division.

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