LEPRECHAUN TELLS US STARTING QB FOR ND IN WEEK ONE
Orson Swindle rummages around the EDSBS Bunker, flashlight and can of Pine-Sol in hand.
OS: Shit, we need to clean up around here. Old “Punt Bama Punt!” bumper stickers…an autographed Cecil Collins crowbar…Jesus, it’s like haven’t cleaned in here since the Poulan Weed Eater Bowl—
AAAAAAIIIIIGGGH!! What the fuck, Galoshes? You know we hate it when you sneak up on us like that.
Galoshes McGillicuddy, the Gold-Lusting Whoremouthed Leprechaun of Glories Past : OI HOI, Swindle! I NEED DAT GOLD, N*****!!!
OS: You’ve been spending too much time in Alabama, Galoshes. What’s up?
Galoshes: Fuck yo’ couch! All the gold be in the hands of Saban, and he guards it with a dragon. Burnt me motherfuckin’ hands to rare filets, it did!
OS: Those…those need medical attention, Galoshes. What are you doing here?
Galoshes: What I do best, Swindle. Bring ye the down ‘n durrty on me old boys, The Foightin’ Irish.
OS: (takes out Inserection receipt and old red crayon.) We’re listening.
Galoshes: Don’t gimme that “we” shit, punk! I NEED DAT GOLD N****!!!
OS: Those hands…is that what that smell is? By the way, I have no gold.
Galoshes: Nevermind me hands! Then fifteen thousand in doubloons then, Swindle, for what ye seek to know…
OS: I will give you a dollar fifty and you will tell me, or I will spray you with Pine-Sol until you leave or die a lemony, horrible death.
Galoshes: Demetrius Jones is the starting quarterback against Georgia Tech, boy-o. You need ask no more. NOW GIMME DAT PAPER OR POP GOES THE WEASEL BITCH!!!
OS: (Sprays Pine-Sol on Galoshes’ red, swollen hands. Cries of agony ensue.)
Galoshes: Meant to say: you’re welcome, sirrah.
OS: No problem. How’d you find this out?
Galoshes: Oh, I have mah ways with Charlie, ya know.
OS: Say no more. Seriously. I don’t want to…
Galoshes: No, really, it’s fascinatin’, see? First I gets me lucky ball gag…then I–AAAAIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!
OS: (Sprays Pine-Sol, dials 911.)
One source is here. We confirmed this with Galoshes, who’s as good a source as you can imagine.
P.S. And here. Facebook, again!
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38
Hey, i wanted to give a shout out 2 the guy who plays the Leperchaun i love this Movie!!!
Comment by Chelcie — March 16, 2008 @ 10:31 am
37
glad I finally found EDSBS, but could do without pissing my pants from laughing so hard.
Stanford might have a chance against the Irish this year
Comment by Black Liberace — September 2, 2007 @ 4:52 pm
36
Kenny Irons do has Leprechaun in sootcase?
Comment by J. Plott — August 31, 2007 @ 6:29 pm
35
PAKND’00 I agree with you. Think Weis is protecting the starting QB.
Comment by walkernd95 — August 30, 2007 @ 12:13 pm
34
#32 Primary reason or not the Robot Genius called a screen and drew the coverage.
Comment by canuck — August 30, 2007 @ 10:05 am
33
You have Reggie Ball in your bunker?
Comment by Scalz1 — August 30, 2007 @ 8:02 am
32
The problem for Crennel is that both of his potential starters are the same guy. Does anyone *really* care if Frye or… whoever the 2nd string dude is starts? Nah. The offense wouldn’t change either way. Even Quinn doesn’t make the offense different. He just makes it better.
I think Weis’s decision to not reveal his starter until gametime isn’t motivated by arrogance or a need to stick it to the media or even really to confuse Gailey and Tenuta - I think, and BGS has a convincing post to this effect, that he did it so in the runup to the opener, there would be endless stories about what an arrogant piece of shit Charlie Weis is, and not about how unprepared the Irish starting quarterback is, how he has such big shoes to fill now that Quinn is gone, how will he handle the pressure of being the ND QB, the string of magazine covers, etc, etc, etc. All of that hoopla gets ridiculous around the ND quarterback and Weis defused it to a certain extent.
Instead the whiny sportswriters of the world throw a temper tantrum about Weis and then go home.
Comment by PAKND'00 — August 30, 2007 @ 6:57 am
31
It could be a crack head who gotta hold of the wrong stuff…
Comment by John — August 30, 2007 @ 1:31 am