FULMER CUPDATE 8/27/07 : DEFEAT REDACTED

Fingers crossed for the ASU bank heist then….

Regardless of whether it is Illinois or Penn State, it’s nice to see the Big 10 win some form of championship, because it won’t be happening on the field this year — unless Lloyd Carr somehow manages not to choke against OSU.

what is wrong with these people…you have one pill, just eat that shit…dumbasses

Stoned people rolling on X must have an even higher rate of survival, especially me, since their erect penises break the windshield glass on impact like one of those spikes you can buy in case you find yourself trapped underwater in your car.

It’s true…except that the aftermath consists of major bruising! Probably similar to that experienced when your rival rips your balls out of your sack.

I’m banking on a Tennessee scoring three points by Wednesday. Maybe a Knoxville meth trailer blowing up or Fat Phil assaulting a Krispy Kreme worker for putting sprinkles on his custard donut. The SEC as a whole needs to pull this through for Jim Delaney.

damn gator homers, you have been passed by the vandals…give them the points

http://www.idahostatesman.com/vandalsports/story/139099.html

Do you really need the marijuana and Ecstasy?

What? Oh. Oh, you do? Okay, I’m getting word here that you do in fact need both.

Carry on.

Rival—

+1 for reading our 1997 brain transcripts.

I just bought enough chronic to last me for the entire football season. Notre Dame games go from being intense to a damn religious experience after a toke. Duuude….that Jesus is signaling a touchdown!

Point is, if watching football high is awesome, oh I’m sure playing high has to be even better. Does the fun out of Arkansas ever stop??

Orson,

You, sir, simply can’t redact an entire team because of [Name redacted]. It simply isn’t fair. Did Juice Williams cause three years of unhappiness for Florida? Did Arreilous Benn lose to Mississippi State?

There isn’t much fairness to life, but I simply expect more from you, sir. For shame.

I’ve never been so happy to see Penn State blow a last second lead. Truly a team effort.

Oh, woe is me. To see The University tied with that mangy El Paso mongrel makes me hang my head with shame…

Sean,

Yes, the entire team. redaction (also called sanitization) is just what they need. BTW, you obviously expect too much.

water is my favorite element too

Glad to see Penn State finally drop out of the top spot. Hopefully all that stadium cleaning will keep us out of the top 10 next season.

OSKIE-WOW-WOW! TEH ILLINI 0101010101!

Your 2007 Fulmer Cup champions!

….especially me….

Uhhhh….

I was just hit with the stark image of a team in Champagne Blue and Urbana orange bouncing up and down on the 20 yard line.

“We ready. We ready. We read. We read.”

And with a fervor previously saved only for Richt ascensions and Slocumb online quizzes I realized that the Illini would take this victory as momentum into the upcoming season.

Will we have a singular achievment award this year? Or did Scirrotto’s charges being dropped take away our presumed front-runner?

Edsall – #9 Exhibit A: Ricky Wiliams

I’d like to go ahead and make a reservation for Wednesday’s award ceremony now. Please save me a seat at the table next to the bar with Miss Teen South Carolina as my date. Thanks. Oh, no questions for her please. She’s been working on her dissertion for her Master’s in Advanced International Studies from Clemson and will need to concentrate.

Kudos, OOC!

I can’t find Clemson on a map.

Oh man poor girl. How could genetics go so horribly awry like that. Great looking girl, no mental composure at all.

Please somebody get this on the front page:

http://www.nbc5i.com/sports/13968715/detail.html?better_headline

is you rollin?

24

If that’s the scrotum tearing story, we’re way ahead of you.

Oof, I’m retarded.

If only there were an in-season edition.

Arkansas would dominate. Just wait until they lose two or three SEC games in a row, like they do every season. Shit will start hitting the fan and Antwain Robinson will inevitably rob someone at gunpoint (again… I mean errr…. nothing to see here) for some coke so that he can sell it and go roll some X with his buddy Marcus.

Frosh kicker Alex Tejada will probably become the biggest pot head on the team. Those field goals are stressful dude.

Casey Dick will hit up a meth binge when his little brother takes his job and D-Mac and his partner in crime Dave Chappele… I mean Felix Jones, sorry… will kick the shit out of some skinny guys coming out of Grubs just off Dickson St. Maybe Fred Talley will join them in a “blast from the past” type moment.

Reports out of Fayetteville also have Harrison with a Fuck Lion in the back seat

“Johnny Cage… wins.”

Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re a tremendous slouch.

Told you so.

(I heard that was funny)

When do we find out who takes home the Ellis T. Jones?

Methinks someone has seriously undercalculated Alabama’s score.

They’re not going to win it, but they were in the running. They had 4 players on various charges, which at 8 points a piece per minor charge would put them on the board.

Coma Time Dept:

Edsall: I think you need enough stuff to keep you in a coma for the whole season.

Steve Greenberg of the Sporting News wrote that an 1-7 Notre Dame start was possible.

http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?p=2302360

Allegedly, Miss SC attends Appalachian State. Insert obligatory HOT HOT HOT pun/joke.

Doubling what #6 posted…

The University of Idaho earned more points last week with the arrests of 2 current and 1 former football player, as well as 1 current member of the women’s track team. Please add this to the Fulmer Cupdate. Also, add bonus points for living up to the “Vandal” namesake…they need all the credit they can get.

Maybe Lloyd Carr can lobby on [Name Redacted]’s behalf to get a few more seconds put back on the clock.

@#35

Well, if no less an authority than Steve Greenberg wrote that ND could go 1-7, then they shouldn’t even bother playing the games.

Sure, it’s possible. It’s also possible that you might be coronated Queen of the Space Unicorns, but neither are very fucking likely (mostly due to your lame jokes (“Lester ‘the Molester’ Miles?” That’s the best you could do? Really?) and incessant anti-ND baiting — those won’t win you any congeniality points!).

Give it a rest already. Seriously.

Sure, Florida’s only third; but they’re doing it with [NAME REDACTED’S] players.

1. Lujack- I don’t know, man, I think they should still play the games…unless Mark May concurs with the 1-7 prediction, in which case yeah, why bother playing.

UGA loves signing thugs. Pathetic.

is that 3pm central or eastern time??? i’m planning something really big for around 2:53 pm on wednesday.

—dennis erickson

Penn State trying for a last minute comeback with a couple of underage drinking citations.

http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/colleges/penn_state/20070828_Quarless_suspension_adds_to_Penn_States_problems.html

But based on the Clausen precedent, I think this is only two points.

#35: Lujack: Queen of the Space Unicorns? Funny stuff.

While Greenberg of the Sporting News may not be in the same top level caliber of college football writers, such as Maisel of ESPN, or Mandel or Murphy of Sports Illustrated, the Sporting News is not an anti-ND rag. Dinehart picked ND to win the MNC last year and Greenberg wrote about ND: “…I kind of like Notre Dame. I’m still enamored of Charlie Weis,…”

“Stoned people rolling on X must have an even higher rate of survival, especially me, since their erect penises break the windshield glass on impact like one of those spikes you can buy in case you find yourself trapped underwater in your car.”

It’s terribly hard to get an erection on E, yo.

Ummmm ….. I can only assume that Illinois is on there because of Aleaze …..

He was not enrolled at UI when he was arrested. He was definately not on the football team.

How does that count as points? The guy was with the team 3 weeks ….. if you are going to count former players, than please do it uniformely.

Gahhh.. don’t consent to searches, people! If they insist, make it make them clear that you have no choice.