SAVE THE ORANGE BOWL. WITH RIMZ.
The Miami Hurricanes have made the move to Dolphin Stadium official, foretelling doom for the neglected and ailing Orange Bowl. Despite being one of college football's most authentic arenas since 1937--"Yes, that's real, aggressive tropical fungus cracking the support pillars of the northside stands"--the groovy, pastel-lettered OB seems destined for the wrecking ball.
One must bear in mind that Miami's gotten its investment out of the now-decrepit stadium a hundred times over: the original was built for $340,000, a pittance compared to what its baseball-hosting replacement will cost. (Oh, and it will most likely be a home for the Marlins that replaces it. Worthless, sissified, and pray-for-death-boring baseball.) According to an alumni listserve email, $200 million in improvements would "only provide basic and mostly infrastructural upgrades." Still, losing the alien transmission light towers, open endzones, and sweltering squalor of the Orange Bowl constitutes a memory loss for college football as a collective.
And it's not like it couldn't be restored with 200 mil. Frankly, you give us a hundred grand, and we'll have the place flossin, lawya.

A stadium befitting the 7th Floor Crew. Drop your pants, show 'em your third leg.
If you don't think an entire stadium plated with chrome in the hateful sunlight of a Miami afternoon wouldn't be the most intimidating homefield advantage in all of college football, then you're indeed on some fine Colombian booger sugar, sir. RED 32! RED 32! AAAIIIIIGGGGHH GOD MY EYYYYEEEEESSS!!!!!
(Illustration courtesy of the indomitable J-Money of Ladies fame.)
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I’ve always been fascinated by the place. Drove past it several times on two (two!) college trips to Miami, one of which was actually for Michigan’s Orange Bowl appearance.
I kind of want to go there for a game before it goes. I promise not to talk any noise upon entry.
by Flop on Aug 23, 2007 1:52 PM EDT reply actions
Well, at least the tour bus operators ferrying stoodents with 100 cocktails in them from Coral Gables up to Fort Liquordale or wherever ProPlayaMarlinsJoeRobbieDon"dont pick on mah boy mike"shula Stadium is will be happy.
by yoyofutbawl on Aug 23, 2007 1:53 PM EDT reply actions
They should take the wrecking ball to the whole city of Miami, save South Beach. Mostly an asshole population with sprinkles of nice. Last time I was there, there was an escaped convict running up and down Biscayne Blvd. Really, what would the US lose if Miami fell into the ocean? The world’s largest cocaine distributor and home to largest amount of people that can float 40 miles on a door?
by bhors on Aug 23, 2007 1:55 PM EDT reply actions
That sort of leads into my question, Flop — once the ‘Canes are officially moved out, does that mean we will finally be able to go into the OB talkin’ that stuff?
by Doug on Aug 23, 2007 1:55 PM EDT reply actions
Worst player created song: 7th Floor Crew vs. FSU’s 80s mullet and jerry (sic) curl laden song found on You Tube?
How did Florida avoid this trap? Spurrier telling them how stupid they would look back then, and Meyer telling them that if they create such now he would make them feed their teammates steak while they had to eat hot dogs and having the label cover up the “Gators” on their helmets, again?
That Urban is a master motivator.
By the way, did Nike sell that Members Only black leather jacket they created, apparently, for Urban down in Florida. If it ever got cold enough to wear one, I would imagine they would move like square grouper down there.
I can’t believe that thing had a swoosh on it.
by Coop on Aug 23, 2007 1:55 PM EDT reply actions
It’s sad to see it go, but the reality is that no one goes to the games. The OB sells out about every other year (for the home FSU game), but other than that they’re lucky to get 25,000 people to show up.
by Cane Grad on Aug 23, 2007 1:59 PM EDT reply actions
UF/Syracuse Orange Bowl ’99:
“Look for a place to park.”
-“That Cuban looking lady wearing the bathrobe in her yard looks like she’s trying to get our attention”.“Does she mean $10 to park?”
“She’s holding up ten fingers.”
-
“I guess so. Behind her car in the driveway?”
-“Looks like it.”“Heck no!”
“Okay then, we’re not staying around after the game.”
-
by Allahver Fist on Aug 23, 2007 2:04 PM EDT reply actions
- - your fanbase is about an inch wide and a foot deep. People would go to your games if you were winning at the rate you did in the 80s and during the Butch Davis regime. The crappy OB had nothing to do with attendance, or at least it was not a significant enough deterrent to keep people away when you were successful. FYI, I loved my visit in ’04.
Being allowed to openly drink at a college football game. Woo hoo!
Who said off-campus stadiums were the devil?
by Coop on Aug 23, 2007 2:10 PM EDT reply actions
The Orange Bowl…future location of the “Greater Miami Swap Meet”…..
by Roaminggator on Aug 23, 2007 2:10 PM EDT reply actions
- - It’s just like, it’s just like, it’s just like an mini mall!
by Coop on Aug 23, 2007 2:13 PM EDT reply actions
You: Reading a thread
Me: Tapping on the glass with a Desert Eagle 5 point oh.
When what and how: I’m jacking this thread suckah.
I just learned that LSU does indeed have time for Fulmer Cup sniz and will be making a no-huddle, less than two minutes left and no timeouts, do or die drive to win.
I am so pissed right now if the details I know turn out to be true.
All I can say is, in the original spirit of this thread, I will have Luther and 2 Live Crew comission a new song. Instead of Fuck Martinez, it will be Fuck Perrilloux.
by LSUJoshua on Aug 23, 2007 2:17 PM EDT reply actions
Is that Vanilla Ice’s grill in that picture?
Seriously.. is it?
by GamecockTony on Aug 23, 2007 2:20 PM EDT reply actions
lsujosh please tell me there is more perrilloux trouble….that would make my day.
by gerry dorsey on Aug 23, 2007 2:25 PM EDT reply actions
100 cocktails and 2 lines of booger sugar to Orson for keeping us distracted with worthless information until our beloved sport returns
orange bowl…… flushing noise…… buh bye
by Futbawl Fan on Aug 23, 2007 2:25 PM EDT reply actions
Screw the Marlins… I say bling it up and start having monster truck rallies and Motocross racing. You could have Bundalicious mud wrestling in the open endzone between races.
by PeterPumpkinhead on Aug 23, 2007 2:31 PM EDT reply actions
One my my favorite things about EDSBS is the vehement opposition to baseball. I concur.
by The Humanitarian on Aug 23, 2007 2:36 PM EDT reply actions
My only experience with the OB was the shitty Orange Bowl game where FSU beat the Tom Krug led Irish. New Year’s on South Beach was pretty sweet though…
by AllWhoYonder on Aug 23, 2007 2:39 PM EDT reply actions
What? No more Orange Bowl? Can’t Don Criqui do something about this?!?
by Boston Frog on Aug 23, 2007 3:03 PM EDT reply actions
Say what you want about Miami .. South Beach on the other hand, is a whole lot of wonderful. Niki(sp?) beach: Tents on the beach where scantily clad (female)hispanic servers bring you a bottl eof grey goose, a bowl of ice, a bowl of oranges, and a squeezer. Fucking fresh screwdrivers as you watch lithe, nubile, tanned bodies frolic in the ocean
Domino !!!
by Scalz1 on Aug 23, 2007 3:20 PM EDT reply actions
You mock my pain!
(Life is pain, Highness.)
by The Great Barstoolio on Aug 23, 2007 3:22 PM EDT reply actions
The orange bowl sucks just about as much a the shitty college team that used to play there. I will not shed a tear for it’s demise.
P.S. Baseball does suck
by Bench Casey on Aug 23, 2007 4:04 PM EDT reply actions
LSUJoshua —
Okie St. kind of imploded after Miles left there, didn’t it?
by HFS on Aug 23, 2007 4:21 PM EDT reply actions
Yes, BF, Don Criqui indeed. The namesake bowl game was in its heyday in the ’80s, also sporting:
- — Excessively skinny numerals on the field
- — The first game ever lost by a chuckwagon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sooner_Schooner
- — The legendary halftime show (which I didn’t give a rat’s ass about, it was my mom that liked it)
- — Mosquito netting behind the goalposts
But it’s better days have passed. Dismantle it and float the wreckage to Cuba as a peace offering. Castro can build cars out of it.
by Raider Red on Aug 23, 2007 5:09 PM EDT reply actions
- bhors-
I won’t argue with that (although South Beach should go to), as long as they leave Tobacco Road open. The best local dive bar south of The Euclid Ave. Yacht Club.
by Mr. Wrong on Aug 23, 2007 5:11 PM EDT reply actions
I’m not as well traveled as the rest of you fine people, but isn’t the OB to Miami as the Cotton Bowl is to Dallas? Ya know, rotting stadium, the ‘hood ain’t safe at night?
by Jorgé the Bass Player on Aug 23, 2007 7:26 PM EDT reply actions
I’m going to miss the tailgaiting and cockfighting in the streets outside the OB. Now, that’s what I call atmosphere…
by Displaced Dawg on Aug 23, 2007 8:49 PM EDT reply actions
No, Jorge, the hood ain’t safe AT ALL. Even in the daylight I had to verbally spar (in my best broken Spanish) to neighborhod goons who couldn’t believe we were walking down “their street” on the way to “their house” (read: stadium).
That place has probably seen more great moments in football than any other, but it is a rusting reminder of all that has gone horribly wrong in Miami……
by Judge on Aug 24, 2007 10:51 AM EDT reply actions

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