CURIOUS INDEX, 8/22/07

is it friday yet? dying for cheesecake here…perhaps we introduce Crumpet Wednesdays, for the sake of featuring Lucy Pinder?

“Contact our people in London.”

Fuck that. I saw what happened to Litvineko.

Why did they decide to change the rule anyway?

DG—

Please, don’t be so paranoid. Have some more sushi. Tea?

The 25-hour lead-in is such a spectacularly bad idea, it’s nearly unfathomable.

Seriously, even in the unlikely scenario that a fan is that “starved for more, more, more,” don’t you have to stop feeding them at some point?

ESPN’s level of restraint when it comes to coverage is somewhere between “fungus” and “malignant tumor.”

Orson, why is every volume of “Curiosities…” volume I?

For $1m I’m also receiving a helmetless, unassisted fucksack from superfan Dana Dye. On the trunk of her Firebird.

#6
It’s on a scroll, dude. One long scroll.

or you could have chris leak with jelly on the back of his pants sliding across a slice of toast you placed just short of the first down marker.

I plan on binge drinking for 25 hours straight before the LSU-Miss State game just to make it through the first quarter.

I think I’ll liveblog the 25-hour pregame show. The only thing worse than being on the actual show would be watching it and writing about it.

Why are people constantly asking for additional cheesecake? This is the internet, people, there’s plenty of it out there on other websites, I promise.

Has a combination AU/UA/cheesecake threadjack happened yet? If not, I’m sure it’s coming any day now.

It starts in the northwest. Ty Willingham has been hiding secret messages in his golf balls and shanking them into the water hazards. Bellotti has a couple of Oregon students on the wacky-weed trail collect the balls, and transport them to Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh then tells the Stanford players he’s going to jog backwards to LA as a motivational technique. Harbaugh hands off the message to Eric Scott. Eric Scott finds someone to read the messages to him. Eric Scott then “infiltrates” SC player’s rooms and swaps out their cell phones with ones that have demotivational voice mail and pre-loaded text messages from other coaches.

There would have been more defections, but the messages that were being sent in via donut ceased to be effective when Chauncey Washington decided to lose some weight.

Oh, the eagle flies backwards at midnight, all right. Trust no-one.

You are doing the Lord’s work Jebus. The people of this great nation salute you.

#13
Excellent work, sir. I could have used your skillz the first time I watched “Jacob’s Ladder”.

1. of course its happening any day, the Girls of the SEC edition of playboy is coming out soon

I imagine it will be short of bunda…

How are all the margin dwellers doing out there today?

about the “Million Dollars To Hang Out With Urban” thing.. any mention about getting some quiet time with Shelley(wife) in there anywhere? If not, it’s worth, like, $12 …

Jebus, you’d be dead by 3 AM.

I just can’t WAIT to see some Reggie F’kn Nelson bone crushing hits in the NFL. I don’t give a crap about the Jaguars, but I will watch them just to see what he does….

Why are people constantly asking for additional cheesecake? This is the internet, people, there’s plenty of it out there on other websites, I promise.

Couldn’t agree more. It’s like the hullabulloo (sp?) about the SI swimsuit issue. So overrated. Especially when you can get alot better pictures elsewhere.

I’m glad someone pointed out the asinine 5 Yard Hysteria that seems to have infected every head coach and beat writer in the country. Has everybody forgotten that 9 out of 10 kickoff returns result in an illegal block penalty?

You had to use Tommy? Really?

Somehow, given the ultimate of referendum seasons, it is appropriate.

Alas, you hurt my feelings.

And, seriously, when does the USC TB exodus really ensue?

I looked at USC’s roster the other day, and USC has, according to Rivals, 9 “RBs” that had either 4 or 5 stars coming out of high school.

Say, Broderick Green, how you doin’?

I grew up in a neighborhood named “Ravenwood”.

They’ll likely have that information and then my cover is blown!

I have pretty good feeling that John Dddddddddavid Booty is a double that was planted by Nick Saban way back in the day. There is no telling when Booty will go active.

OPS, gawd, that’s what my dealer said too. You guys can both sit back and watch me rule.
Hatters!

Chris Leak can keep his floating profiteroles away from my mouth thankyouverymuch.

Anyone who watches that Hawaii practice at 3am on the East Coast should probably be eaten alive by snakes.

Unless you’ve been up all night doing your lady, realize it’s 3am, and put on ESPN to watch football. Even then, more than five to ten minutes is excessive.

Free Rece Davis!!

Man, those Hatters are a bitch, with all the hats and all.

/Lame, and I’m sorry I said it already.

woodchuck to grey squirrel:

after 25 hours is Holtz going to have any moisture left in his body, ney his mouth? It is one thing to see Rece and May on camera and quite another seeing their faces milkingly glazed with Blue Lou Boyle’s “words.”

actually, reggie nelson doesn’t break the dishes…he waits until you ask urban to pass the cornpone, and as you reach for it, defenseless, he drives his helmet into your chest.

or, better yet, he waits until the dishes are cleared and back in the kitchen before he FUCKING cheap shots you.

then he stands over you and pretends that he’s tough.

#28

You make that sound like a bad thing?

“Look at us. Look at what they make you give.”

So does that mean that, just past the halfway point in the dinner, Leak’s profiteroles (like that’s a real word) will start hitting the guy sitting next to me right in the middle of his chest?

But what I fully expect is for Leak to drive the food cart all the way from the kitchen right up to my table, only to have Tebow come running up and cram the food right in my mouth.

Matty Blue—

Reggie heard that.

Speaking of cheesecake, now that the Herb World Tour has been expanded to include Portugal, some love needs to be shown to the other country that decimated/repopulated a continent.

Now Pete Carroll knows how Hef feels when he is out with his “girlfriends”…..

#13

Excellent analysis, except I believe Eric Scott only waited in the car while his friends went to “visit” SC players’ rooms.

Interesting analysis of SEC teams and close games.

I knew, in an abstract sort of way, that Shula excelled at throwing away games we could have won, but now I have some cold hard numbers to back it up.