We spaced the agonizing process of putting this monstrosity together over several posts, and even then it still reeks of hackery, half-thought, and the ramblings and self-justifications of a desperate, overmatched man. In fact, we detest this ballot, repudiate its maker, and sincerely wish to kick his ass when we see him. We’re talking to you, Swindle.

Rank Team Delta
1 Southern Cal 25
2 Michigan 24
3 West Virginia 23
4 Texas 22
5 LSU 21
6 South Carolina 20
7 Florida 19
8 Oklahoma 18
9 Virginia Tech 17
10 Louisville 16
11 Wisconsin 15
12 Georgia 14
13 Nebraska 13
14 Ohio State 12
15 Oregon 11
16 Penn State 10
17 Florida State 9
18 Oklahoma State 8
19 Wake Forest 7
20 Tennessee 6
21 California 5
22 Hawaii 4
23 Arkansas 3
24 Missouri 2
25 Duke 1

Dropped Out:

Instant disavowal and caveat: It’s crap. It’s crap, and we know it. Your blogpoll ballot and/or top 25 is crap, too. The guy who invented these called them crap himself. Hell, Leitch knows they’re crap, which means the secret is royally out of said bag in an official way.

Instant visual corollary when looking at this ballot:

Notes, crockery, possible notes of validity.

The USC vote is the illogic of logic. A consensus number one. Stalls of blue-chippers being piped full of grass-fed beef, fine supplements of the legal sort, and protein shakes in their sleep. They decimated Michigan in the Rose Bowl. They’re USC, they’re USC, they’re USC…if you feel any unease about picking them, just say this over and over again.

And yet we know they’ll lose at least one game because everyone’s assuming they’re FSU 1993 ripping their way through a single-team conference. Keith Jackson might refer to them vis-a-vis the Pac-10 as “the only bull in a barnyard of heifers,” but they’re clearly not, losing two conference games last year to UCLA and Oregon State and winning games against lowly WSU, UW, and ASU by a combined 19 points.

That team was no juggernaut, and neither is this one, especially at wideout. They are a superb team. They were not invincible last year, and are not invincible this year. And yet…there they sit at number one for sheer lack of creativity or insight. Curses.

South Carolina at 6 still looks like stunt work on our part, but hand us that chute. We’re jumping out of that window like Dar Robinson. Someone’s going to skate through on a handful of miracles and pixie dust this year. It might as well be a Spurrier team that was extremely deficient in the pixie dust department last year, losing to Tennessee, Auburn, and South Carolina Florida by margins that could have gone either way. We’re all in and waiting on a straight flush on the river. Hit us, please.

We moved Georgia down a notch or two because we’re more and more concerned about their offensive line woes. Stafford will commit serious errors under pressure. Offensive lines that don’t block yield pressure. Pressure pressure pressure. Sense a theme? Richt can’t call enough screen passes to overcome that, though he’ll try. Perhaps shirtless levitation will help.

Duke at 25…because old habits die hard.