OATMEAL PIES=RAGE FUEL

Amazing!

I love you guys.

But not in that way.

something something time for this shit something

Orson I could tell you many a story from my student reporter days of bringing Saban his weekly tribute of Little Debbies at the annual Wednesday post-practice press conference…

Orson, Great meeting you on Friday at The Ted. Sorry, I couldn’t make it out to Decatur.

As for Saban, hopefully with the money he got from Bama, he’ll upgrade to Tastycakes or Drake’s.

Saban= watches game film while eating free Little Debbies …

Miles = bashes the PAC 10 while thinking about Little Hayley and the cost of Thin Mints and Tagalongs…

Who would rather have leading your program????

A Double Decker Moonpie would totally cave in Little Debbie’s little face. Small pie for a small fry. I curl my pinkie at you, Saban.

now if someone with photoshop would just grant us the privelege of seeing a picture of Saban with his Levi’s lowered and his Lil Debbie in hand I for one would have it framed and mounted next to my monitor (don’t forget the shadow of Red Man Golden in his back pocket)

I think this is the first oatmeal related post that does not involve Joe Tiller.

correction

Who would YOU rather have leading your program???

Urban Meyer. His favorite snack food is nothingness topped with victory.

Jimmy Clausen cited for alcohol misdemeanor

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/ncaa/specials/preview/2007/08/20/bc.fbc.clausencited.ap/index.html

“Police said the 23-year-old entered the store and bought two 1.75-liter bottles of vodka, a 200-milliliter bottle of whiskey, and case containing 30 cans of beer.”

Wow… that’s a lot of booze.

Urban Meyer:

1-1 against MIKE SHULA!

Another example of the complete lack of professionalism/fact checking done by this blog. The quote explicitly states that Saban prefers the original size Oatmeal Cream Pies but the image shows the newer jumbo “vend size” pies. Get your shit straight!

O hai

I upgraded ur alreddy unreelistik expektashuns

kthxbai

“I don’t have time for this shit”

“I’m going to be the only asshole showing around here”

Thus began a new book of quotations from our dear Coach Saban. We await breathlessly for him to say something about “…left Baton Rouge to escape the smell of corndogs and open bourbon containers” or some other inflammatory reparte about Tennessee, Auburn, Florida, etc

Were Saban serious about being Alabamian, he’d ditch Little Debbie and stray with Moon Pies.

#3, Billy:

And I hear he likes snack cakes and oatmeal creme pies, too.

“I’m going to be the only a–hole showing around here.”

What about the other 50,000 or so that show up at Bryant-Denny every Saturday?

Little Debby doesn’t make small talk in the halls.

SIAP

All-SEC CB Simeon Castille was arrested over the weekend.

http://3rdsaturdayinblogtober.wordpress.com/2007/08/19/tides-castille-arrested/

it’s 93,000 you dumbass… assholes with NC’s are fine… HOO-RAY for HERBAN!!!

#16

I was hoping that the other 43,000 were innocents.

Jimmy Clausen = McLovin

Now we know why Saban is such an ass. Sugar crash. That makes me cranky, too.

This sounds just like Saban, if by enjoying snacking on “Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies” you mean he enjoys snacking on “the souls of those around him.”

Lucky for him, I think that the souls of the citizens of Alabama are actually made by Little Debbie. So he’s got that going for him, which is nice.

2 players involved in computer theft at Wf’nVU

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2982682

So which student section will be the first to throw Little Debbies on the field when Bama visits…won’t be Vandy (apathy) so either Free Shoes U or Ole Miss…although the Orgeron might devour them in the air before the Little Debbies hit the turf….

#27

Do computers burn?

Anywho. I’m disappointed Saban is not a Skoal man.

But, the real reason he eats Oatmeal Creme Pies? Little Debbie’s cure mouth cancer.

…Also, I’m impatiently waiting for the first inappropriate “creampie” reference. Now you people are starting to disappoint me.

#13

You seem to be a little too familiar with the Little Debbie’s Box….

Hey! You don’t think there’s any way I can get that quarter from underneath a’ your… pointy boot, do ya? All I want is just one more oatmeal pie.

Owwweeeee! Little Debbie, Little Debbie. I’m a’ comin’ on home, baby.

#29
Nich Saban’s tears cure cancer. But alas… he never cries.

On the Fulmer cup front, Notre Dame’s savior QB cited for alcohol possession
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/ncaa/specials/preview/2007/08/20/bc.fbc.clausencited.ap/index.html

28

If FSU’s fans are anything like their QB’s, any snack cakes thrown will just end up in the hands of Bama defenders.

Or this one….

On the practice field in the early days of spring practice, the Fulmer you don’t know decided he had had enough of his players wearing their pants too far below their waist.

"He pulled his pants down," Caldwell said, "and said, ‘This is how some of you guys look. You’re a bunch of pussies. And I’m going to be the only pussy showing around here.’"

I thought he was fueled by the hopes ad reams of the fans of programs he has eviscerated. That and he eats those kids you can sponsor for 1.25 a day.

Re: Clausen

Clearly a case of religious persecution. The Savior merely touches any beverage and it turns to alcohol. How can that be his fault?

And, if family history is an indicator of Little Clausen’s behavior, I’m sure he proclaimed that he could carry all that booze with one hand tied (cuffed?) behind his back.

1. 31, Bravo fpr SCOS reference.

#30
thats honestly the filthiest thing I’ve read in my life…

1. 8: “I think this is the first oatmeal related post that does not involve Joe Tiller.”

Or Chan Gailey. Or Bobby Bowden. Or Grampa Abe Simpson, careful reader of “Oatmeal Enthusiast.”

The Orgeron eats nails for breakfast.

Cocktails for 28, 31 (kudos on the Southern Culture on the Skids, make it a double for the secondary Alabama entendre in the band name.)

There was always a rumor, way back when, that someone bought the AU student section visors to throw at Spurrier during the Bowden era.

Decorum prevailed however, preventing OBC from clickclacking 90 on the Tigers.

#8, #39 Lou Holtz quoted Quaker when he left ND, saying it was “…the right thing to do.”

Part of the problem with the Clausen story is that most people still don’t understand the metric system, andthe other part is the assumption that all the booze is for one person.

Two half-gallons of vodka, a minature of whiskey and a 30-case of beer is a decent weekend’s worth for two or three healthy college kids. For a half-dozen on Saturday night, it’s about the same thing.

But we live in an era where six beers in six hours makes one a “binge drinker”… does anyone else remember when this used to be a free country, sort of?

the only way it could be better is if it was RC Cola and a Moonpie

Re: Clausen

I get the case of beer. I understand the gallon of vodka. But WTF is up with the half-pint of whiskey? Lightweight.

Clausen is a pussy. I watched a high school game in which after a 15 yd run, he did a hook slide to avoid getting hit. Who the hell does he think he is….Marino? It’s HIGH SCHOOL for christ sake not the NFL…. put your head down and get the extra 3 the hard way.

I’m a little embarrassed by the Simeon Castille class-C misdemeanor “dis-orderly conduct” charge.

You’d think they could make it stick, though.

46

Sounds like he patterns his game after one Christopher Leak.

Sounds like these guys are going to be the next to put out a preseason poll.

http://www.sfa.org/

As a resident of the state with the most archaic liquor laws east of Utah, I’m having a hard time getting past the “30-can case of beer”. Is there such a thing?

http://www.freethehops.org/missingbeer.php

#38

I’m glad somebody noticed…I was beginning to think that the comment that took me 40 minutes of my “should be prepping for that goddamned team building Meeting/Fiasco,” was not as double entendre-ish as I thought. And as Little Debbie’s father, I must say I feel sorry for you. Anybody with a roll of quarters in their pocket can purchase half a dozen tasty treats from the Little Debbie’s Box. Hell my hound dog, Smokey’s Ghost, got into that box just this weekend and licked that creamy goodness right up. I just wish he hadn’t left the wrappers lying around. That kind of shit will get husbands shot, you know?

Unless I’m mistaken, I saw that book (first picture of the article) in Barnes and Noble yesterday, just palette-swapped and with a subheading of “Alabama Head Coach”.

I guess writing another book is just another dump on the pile of shit for which Nick Saban has no time.

The principal of Tuscaloosa County High held an assembly the first day of school. He said he had noticed all the guys wearing their pants so low, and he wanted to know why. So he researched the cultural origin and found out that this trend originated in Latin American countries as a way for gay men to signal other gay men they were open for, ummm, low-commitment sexual encounters. He told the students that if any male student wanted to date a guy that he’d be glad to play matchmaker for them, but there’d be no more wearing their pants around their knees.

True story.

#11

that sounds like a box of 30 ’SONES BABY, Keystones that is, 30 for 11 bucks, or so I heard

What weak sauce. I know Kindergarten teachers that party harder than Clausen.

Who buys an airline bottle of whiskey at the liquor store? It’s an insult to whiskey. Airline bottles are for airplanes. Who would want to spend 3 hours trapped at 40000 feet with me fired up on hooch.

Real Man’s Package Store Shopping List(Serves 4 men or 1 UT football team): 1/2 gal Bourbon or Scotch(not Cognac or Canadian shit), 1/2 gal Tequila, 1 liter 151 Bacardi, 2×30 pack cheap beer, 1 carton Smokes, 1 box of Rubbers(if women will be present).

The above was consumed in 8.5 hours by four USAF Crew Chiefs with a little help from some friendly ASU coeds.

We had an almost full pack of smokes left the next morning.

54

Clausen does look like he has permanent bitter beer face.
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