WHEEEEEEE!!! SWIM CAPS FOR EVERYONE!!!

by Orson on Aug 17, 2007 3:16 PM EDT

Kestahn Moore has discovered the little edge he needed to secure a likely starting spot at tailback for the Florida Gators: a swim cap.

WHHHEEEEEEEE!!!

We're donning our swim cap tonight as we go to the Deadspin Pants Party at Turner Field, where we plan to figure out this Bayes-ball we keep hearing about. (Who knew sport and advanced statistical analysis could be combined in a single endeavor? Ingenious.) Peter Bean is coming into town, so expect Texas-sized shenannigans on the weekend.

Oh, and go pick up a Penthouse. You have an excuse besides "mmm, love me some vagina photography," as Pete Schrager's college football preview is in it as well as a few quotes from yours truly. We did not pose for the magazine, however, as we're still under contract to Sweet Action for our stunning nude talents.

Enjoy your weekend,

-O.

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Have fun at GT night (not that you knew about it, but I’m just giving you a heads-up).

Just remember, GT football is Chaaaaan-tastic!

by ehrenb on Aug 17, 2007 3:29 PM EDT reply actions

IT’S AGAINST THE RULES TO GO DOWN THE SLIDE AT THE SAME TIME!!!!~~!!~

blows whistle for 5 minutes straight

by CFB Authority on Aug 17, 2007 3:34 PM EDT reply actions

Big fucking deal. My College Football Preview has been a staple of the September/October issue of Black Tail for years now.

by Doug on Aug 17, 2007 3:39 PM EDT reply actions

Whew. I was worried there were reports of offensive linemen clogging the flumes or something.

Wild Waters?

by OMAR on Aug 17, 2007 3:46 PM EDT reply actions

I literally was on a discount magazine subscription website this morning to get a $6 50-issue year of Sporting News. They had a year of Penthouse for $6 too. I didn’t order it.

FAAAAAHCK!

FYI Swim Caps worn on the sidelines result in a 5-yard penalty.

You didn’t get pissed on, did you Orson?

by Allahver Fist on Aug 17, 2007 3:46 PM EDT reply actions

There are words in Penthouse?

by Maize n Brew Dave on Aug 17, 2007 4:14 PM EDT reply actions

mmm, vagina photography.

by Rob on Aug 17, 2007 4:16 PM EDT reply actions

OK, the one on top is CLAPPING WITH GLEE.

by Holly on Aug 17, 2007 4:17 PM EDT reply actions

Your mother must be so fucking proud. Ill look for a mention of this in the next issue of “Tech Topics.”

by Brian on Aug 17, 2007 4:19 PM EDT reply actions

The one on top looks like he took the short bus to grade school.

The only reason to look THAT happy is getting a you know what.

by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Aug 17, 2007 4:19 PM EDT reply actions

Dude, the waterslide at the Georgia Tech rec center will make you that happy. Seriously.

by Orson Swindle on Aug 17, 2007 4:24 PM EDT reply actions

Scott Fujita wants to know if either of these two suffered a foot injury at the bottom of the slide.

http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2007/08/13/saints-scott-fujita-explains-water-park-injury/

by The Last Dragon on Aug 17, 2007 4:35 PM EDT reply actions

I never thought a small white guy would be so happy having a big black guy behind him in his chute. I guess that’s how they roll in San FranGainesville.

by Out of Conference on Aug 17, 2007 4:48 PM EDT reply actions

Orson, you are so right…that water slide is fun. Sadly, our plans to pre-game and then go over never materialized.

by Brian on Aug 17, 2007 4:54 PM EDT reply actions

#10: A peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Those are indeed great.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Aug 17, 2007 4:56 PM EDT reply actions

The mind boggles.

OK, the one on top is CLAPPING WITH GLEE.

It’s never too late for a happy childhood.

by DC Trojan on Aug 17, 2007 4:57 PM EDT reply actions

- OS: I was at a water park earlier this year and I kid you not, I ran up the stairs getting on those slides better and faster than the snot-nosed kids. Great fun. I only stopped late in the day when I got a headache. But, a good you-kow-what still trumps the slides.

by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Aug 17, 2007 5:16 PM EDT reply actions

According to ESPN.com Harvard has rescheduled a football game because it conflicted with the start of Yom Kippur. Question: Would this fly in the SEC? Other conferences?

by adam on Aug 17, 2007 5:40 PM EDT reply actions

#18: My guess is that the SEC would not re-schedule a college football for anything – such as Jefferson Davis’ holiday, Dale Earnhardt’s funeral, or John Daly’s wedding to bimbo number five. (apologies for the third one on the list. I ran out of southern material.)

by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Aug 17, 2007 6:13 PM EDT reply actions

I know Weinstein’s parents were upset, Superintendent, but I was sure it was a phony excuse. I mean, it sounds so made up: “Yom Kippur.”

- Principal Skinner, The Simpsons

by Brian on Aug 17, 2007 6:29 PM EDT reply actions

Threadjack:

The same guy who sued Vick is at it again:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0816071riches1.html

by PW on Aug 17, 2007 6:42 PM EDT reply actions

“[W]here we plan to figure out this Bayes-ball we keep hearing about. (Who knew sport and advanced statistical analysis could be combined in a single endeavor? Ingenious.)”

This is either the best or worst pun I have ever read.

by asim on Aug 17, 2007 7:43 PM EDT reply actions

Orson, I hope your quote in PH doesn’t start “I never thought this could happen to me, but…..”

by Crabapple Buck on Aug 17, 2007 9:35 PM EDT reply actions

I hope you’re not a Braves fan, Orson – but as Dbacks fan, that was a very satisfying game to follow.

Also, am I the first to mention that baby Clausen got busted for buying booze underage?

by peachy on Aug 17, 2007 10:17 PM EDT reply actions

After reading the last 8 posts I have no idea what this is even about.
So I say does anyone want to argue that the SEC is the ruler of all College football?
(cue TOSUBUCKEYE)

by CHARLIE MURPHY on Aug 18, 2007 9:28 AM EDT reply actions