JOSEPH PATERNO ARRESTED FOR COKE

I knew JoePa loved his Jack & Coke, but damn!

He tossed the coke out of the window to divert the cops attention from the fact that he had stolen 10 human brains from the local morgue. He quickly consumed them while the cops were temporarily distracted…suckers.

Or do zombies eat the brains of the dead?

[Serious Business Threadjack]

Has anybody heard from Kleph? I’m sure the Peruvian telecommunication system is fucked, along with the rest of the country, but it would be nice to know that he’s ok. My prayers are with you, brother.

[/Serious Business Threadjack]

Damn… I bet Joe had a nice little place down there at Del Boca Vista, Phase III.
And he goes and throws it all away for this.

BRAINS!!!! (Cocaine IS a hell of a drug.)

FAAAAAAAHCK! We mean: oopsie! Thank God we haven’t posted this yet. Whew! Would that be embarrassing! HA-ha. Wearing the shiny slacks of failure, now that’s what that would be!

It’s OK, Orson. You can remove this – and the fuck with a long “A” – in editing.

You were right about the clones, but some of them turn out wrong. These they just send out into the world to make their way in a non-football-coach capacity. The prisons are full of JoePa clones. Their per capita incarceration rate is way higher than any other demographic, even black people and gypsies!

Aerobab — I was just coming on here to ask about that. Hope he’s okay down there.

So will Joe be out of jail in time for the World’s Largest Outdoor BRAINS! party/ Coke Orgy?

Re: Kleph.
 I actually received 2 emails from him around 2- 3 PM EST yesterday. Take whatever solace from that you can

“I enjoyed being upstairs, I really did. I sat down, had a nice time, had a cup of coffee. I banged out some fat gacker rails of Peruvian Blue. I felt like a 7th Floor Crew guy. I was even able to watch television.”

Does this mean Joe has to clean the bleachers after all the home games?

Pablo Escoterno is now running the “single line offense”?

… and, nice Stephen King reference, Orson.

at least that opens up a condo at del boca vista….b/c it was completely sold out.

Good thing they caught him in time. He looks like he is wasting away to nothing.

And it looks like he was busted with a bunch of cheat codes for NCAA ’08.

Not to poop on the comedic gold you’ve opened with this morning, but Orson – I’m swimming in a sea of bankruptcy decisions. I need affirmation.

I heard he was caught snorting Bear Bryant’s Ashes a few years ago.

Actually, I think the truth is a bit less mind-blowing. The drug dealers have simply started legally changing their names to those of college football coaches in order to increase their notoriety. Personally I think that if you’re going to get in the dope game, you pretty much have to start going by “Dennis Erickson,” but opting for JoePa is pretty awesome. In a “YOU KIDS WANT SOME DRUGS? EH? SPEAK UP” kind of way.

Orson, when your friend is swimming in a sea of bankruptcy decisions, you don’t just toss him a life vest, you swim one over to him. [/Loggins]

also

Why would you insinuate that Paterno had been arrested for possession of cocaine? That isn’t funny. What if there are people out there who don’t know him? I think that was very sarcastic and I don’t appreciate it. And I’m not kidding. [/Corso]

The ’80s + 3 consecutive losses to Bill Curry could make anyone turn to drugs.

I can imagine how proud Joseph Paterno’s father is right now. The boy he named after JoePa in honor of Penn State’s ’82 National Title has now been arrested and caused this photo to be created.
The Circle of Life is so beautiful sometimes.

hah. i work on Palm Bay Road.

good thing i was wearing my anti-zombie helmet last night.

This is your brain.
This is your brain on drugs.
Delicious with eggs.

Any questions?

“snorting Bear Bryant’s Ashes”

Can you say performance enhancer? Maybe it was some version of the quickening he was hoping to achieve.

Regardless, I challenge Michigan, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan State or Temple (Philly folks don’t let me down, you’ve done it once already) to make this sign like they did for Barry Bonds.

BEAR BRYANT DID IT ON CHESTERFIELDS AND BOURBON. STAGG DID IT WITH CLASS. HOW DID YOU DO IT?

#15. I did see him driving a new Cadillac. But he didn’t make the early bird special.

I’m going to hit Galen Hall up for that space pen of his. It writes upside down!

Apparently Orson doesn’t have time for JoePa.

And JoePa is now Now now.

Bear’s ashes are accounted for and just fine, some Bama fan from Scottsboro dug them up years ago to make another shrine. Saban’s been out to worship a few times since he’s come on board.

Somebody e-mail this to the Sports Junkies.

Papa’s got a brand new bag.

DAMNIT MR. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was my instant thought when reading this.
(late to day by the way……. fucking job!)

So how many Fulmer Cup Points is that worth?

(In a semi-serious musing, would a coach committing a crime count for any Fulmer Cup points? And if it were Phil Fulmer actually misdemeanerin’, would it be the equivalent of the triple word score from Scrabble? )